Fluffy Pony Magica

!!!Spoiler Warning for Madoka Magica!!!

>you are Kyubey, The Incubator
>tasked with the ultimate goal of preventing the heat death of the universe using the extraction of emotion from lesser beings
>to accomplish this you must find young girls to make pacts with you to become a magical girl
>these magical girls go out and fight witches, slowly losing their sanity, and inevitably becoming witches themselves
>its all a rather roundabout process, but the bottom line is the massive amount of emotional energy these preteen girls give off throughout their life cycle is exactly what your species needs to keep the universe ticking for another couple minutes
>supply has gotten a little low lately though
>barely managed to meet last months quota on emotional energy
>seems young girls are more interested in a strange new fad the humans have invented; a bizarre creature known as the 'fluffy pony'
>you used to draw young girls in with your delightfully cute appearance, but now you can barely attract any of them with all the competition
>these strange creatures keep bleating for 'nummies' and 'huggies'
>if this keeps up you might be out of a job
>...and if you're out of a job the universe is dead
>decide to get some intel by revealing yourself to a fluffy pony
>"hewwo! who you wittle not fwuffy?"
>fluffies have a strange habit of calling anything that can't designate as either a fluffy or a monster a 'not-fluffy'
>"Oh, I'm just a magical creature passing by. Say, would you be willing to divulge the secrets of your adorableness to me?"
>your strategy is rather blunt, but you know these creatures don't possess much intellect
>"fwuffy not know wha dat mean. you give fwuffy sketties?" it asks you excitedly
>"Oh I could provide you with plenty of 'sketties', IF you would be willing to form a contract with me and become a magical girl."
>its a silly idea, but you have been low on your quota lately, and it couldn't hurt to see the soul extraction process on a fluffy pony
>"okay not-fwuffy! fwuffy agwee."
>wow these things are dumb, but you ain't complaining.
>you do the deed and a magical bowl of pasta appears before the creature
>"Huh, I guess you guys do have souls."
>"yay! sketties!" the fluffy pony chows down
>while it is busy eating you activate its magical girl costume
>the fluffy looks down at its little dress
>"wah! nuu, fwuffy no wike dwess. me boy fwuffy!"
>huh, could have fooled you
>"fwuffy hate dwess. wan die." the fluffy looks sullen and promptly explodes in a blast of negative energy
>witch appears from the explosion
>you sit there shocked at how easy that was
>you are gonna make so much freaking emotion off of these damn fluffy ponies