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- >T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the thread
- >No green could be seen, many thought it was dead
- >All the lurkers were pussies, too afraid to post
- >And many previous writefags had all turned to ghosts
- >Still more readers were nestled all snug in their bed
- >Fapping all Christmas, thinking of ponies giving them head
- >Yes it seemed that thread was all settled right then
- >Quietly slipping away to page 10
- >The speed of the board that day was awfully slow
- >With not much activity on threads above or below
- >Then what to our green-starved eyes should appear?
- >But an old fat red bastard, with human slaves instead of deer!
- >He dragged them all in, so lively and quick
- >Who knew that old Santa could be such a dick
- >More rapid than catbirds his bitches they came,
- >And he whistled, and farted, and called them by name!
- >"Now Gatorbait! now, Fapman! now, TexAnon and 8th-sin!
- >On, Mandroid! On, Bolding! on Crossroads, loveandpowerlifin’!
- >To the top of the board! Don’t you dare let it sit!
- >Now write away! Write away! Even though you’re all shit!”
- >Parkers and namefags before the wild shitstorm fly,
- >When they meet with disagreement, they just shitpost and cry.
- >So into a new thread the chained writefags just flew,
- >With regrets and much drinking, and the old red bastard too.
- >And then, in a moment, a few writefags began
- >To write before the whip of the obese red man.
- >Before you could question, or vent out your worries,
- >Those faggots began creating something sorta like stories.
- >They were dressed very shoddily, like he didn’t let them shower
- >And every last writefag bowed down to his power,
- >He looked so smug and so greedy and willing,
- >Like a chubby old jew, getting ready for shilling.
- >But the writefags, they toiled! They did not at all tarry!
- >Perhaps they were afraid of him popping their butt cherry!
- >A trail of tears followed, wherever they’d go,
- >And the cumstains on their pants were as white as the snow.
- >But they did not stop, and the stories came tumbling,
- >About all our favorite ponies, and Anon, dumb and bumbling.
- >What’s more was their stories, both romantic and smelly,
- >Got bored readers posting, old Flutterrape was jelly!
- >The scene was so joyous, all of them writing like a tard,
- >With readers around them, crying, cracking up, getting hard,
- >With each little post, with each story in the thread,
- >We soon did know our general was far from dead.
- >And Saint Nick? He smiled, seeing his work was done!
- >He went to all our dear writefags one by one.
- >He loosed their chains, and said, voice trembling and true:
- >”If you stop writing, I’ll come back and fucking kill all of you.”
- >He sprang to his sleigh, he left them violated,
- >But he left the thread full of green, the cloppers all satiated.
- >And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove too far away to see,
- >"Merry Christmas you faggots, long live AiE!”
- (Would have used more writefag names if I could. Fapman, iceman, jazzteeth, beans, myself, etc. Still love you shitlords too.)
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