Meta in Equestria 4

>As the bright light of day warms your face you begin to stir.
>Reaching for your blanket to cover your head to stave off the new day you find nothing but the soft caress of grass under your fingers.
>Opening your eyes you quickly realize you are no longer in your bedroom.
>The surrounding trees stand as if guarding the small patch of clearing you find yourself in.
>Looking down at yourself you see you’re still wearing the same cloths you had on last night when you arrived home from work.
>You did arrive home.
>But how did you get here?
>Where is here anyway?
“The everfree forest.”
>Living in the heart of the city meant there were no forests around for miles.
“It’s the everfree forest.”
>How could you have gotten from your apartment to this unknown fores- wait what?
“I said it’s the Everfree forest you limp dick fuck!?!”
>B-b-but that’s not what you are supposed to say
>You are supposed to say “Where am I? How did I get here?”
“Fuck you.”
“This is the most cliché bullshit opening to pull.”
“I mean seriously ‘Anon wakes up in the everfree with no knowledge of how he arrived in Equestria’  is the most overdone crap and I’m not doing it.”
“What’s next, I bump into Fluttershy as she is out with her critters?”
>”Oh, umm…did I miss my cue?”
“Oh fuck me.”
>No fluttershy it’s fine just a little setback.
>Go on back and I’ll cue you when we are ready.
>”Ok then.”
>Ok so can we continue?
“Fuck no!”
“This entire opening is just cliché crap and you can take this story and shove it up your ass because I ain’t doing it.”
>HEY! Don’t get pissy at me lad.
>I didn’t write this drek I’m just the narrator.
>I just read this crap.
>If you want to be angry at anyone it should be the hack who wrote this shit and I have a very small penis.
“…”
>Oh what the fuck that’s not what I wanted to say.
[spoiler] No but it’s what I wanted you to say [/spoiler]
>Come now was that really necessary?
[spoiler] You tell me pencil dick after all I am a hack. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] Now what is this I hear about not doing the story Anon? [/spoiler]
“Just that.”
“I’m not doing it.”
“This is one of the most overdone tropes in these stories and lacks originality.”
“If this is the extent of your creativity then I cringe at the thought of what you have planned for the rest of the story.”
“So to reiterate, FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAP STORY OPENING!?!”
[spoiler] I know this has been fucking done. After thousands of these stories almost every fucking thing has been done. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] There are only so many ways to get your ass to Equestria and they have all been done. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] What the fuck do you want from me huh? [/spoiler]
“I want some fucking originality!”
[spoiler]  *Sigh*. Ok fine, if you want original I’ll give it to you. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] I had an idea for an original story opening laid out before but never finished because I ran into problems. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] But since you are soooo keen on fresh ideas why don’t we go with it shall we? [/spoiler]
“About time you started listening to me.’
[spoiler] Hey pencil dick, here’s the baby’s new story opening would you kindly lead him in? [/spoiler]
>…
>Yeah sure *cough*
>You are Anon
“Yeah, no shit.”
[spoiler] Shut up and let him continue. [/spoiler]
>As I was saying. You are Anon.
>A student at one of the most prestigious universities in the country.
>It had been a long road getting where you find yourself at this moment.
>Landing that academic scholarship, studying every night until you would pass out at your desk.
>Your first year spent almost living in the school library much to the librarian’s dismay.
>Though it paid off with you acing every exam.
>Your primary field of study had been astrophysics.
>An insatiable desire to learn and understand led you down this path.
>A path that has brought you here, standing before this beautiful piece of machinery.
>Your professors had been impressed with your work from the beginning.
>When you went to them with your theorem they were more than supportive and even helped get you funding for your research.
>After a year of working with the best engineers at the university to design and construct the machine needed to prove your work it was finally done.
>Today you would not only prove the existence of cronotons but also their effect on time, space and reality itself.
“I am liking this so far. So what I time travel into Equestria or something?”
“It’s cool and all but doesn’t mean jackshit if I just time travel and land in the everfree fucking forest again.”
[spoiler] No, you don’t land in the everfree forest! Will you shut up and let him finish. [/spoiler]
>It stood in the center of the lab.
>With the press of a button you would have you answer.
>Would you be proven correct or proven a fool?
“Only one way to find out.”
>Oh so now you are reading your lines?
[spoiler] Don’t provoke him just go. [/spoiler]
>Signaling your assistants to start the power you move to the machine.
>Moving your hand to the console your finger comes to the singular large red button.
>With a simple motion you press it.
>The display lights up and begins relaying data.
>It was what you were hoping for and more.
>The information racing on the screen proved everything you theorized.
>As the data continued to come through you realized there was more than you could have dreamed.
>Farm more than you thought there was. In fact far more than there should be.
>As this thought runs through your mind an alarm begins to sound.
>”The reactor is going out of control” Comes from one of your assistants.
>Franticly you try to halt the machine before the reaction goes critical but you are too late.
>A wave of chrono energy flows out from the reactor in all direction engulfing the machine, you and a sizable chunk of the lab before it simply stops.
>To an outside observer it would appear everything within the blast radius had simply stopped.
>Seeing you standing there frozen in mid step as you braced yourself against the blast.
>They would also notice the sphere of energy perfectly centered on the edge of the area you are trapped in.
>It would be simple to deduce you and everything within the sphere were frozen in some type of temporal bubble.
>That is to say that is what would have happened had you not been ripped from the floor and been sent crashing through the building.
>Well to be more accurate it was the floor and building that were ripped from you.
>Due to the inexorable link between space and time you have not only been frozen at a particular point in time but also a point in space as well.
>The Earth on the other hand is not so encumbered.
> As the world spins on its axis you are sent crashing through building house and trees before seeming to ascend into the skies.
>You are however completely unaware of this and unable to see the Earth slowly move away from you as it continues its orbit around the sun.
>Nor can you see the sun slowly fade as it continues its own orbit around the galactic core of the Milky Way.
“Umm…”
>Trapped in the temporal sphere you are protected from the harsh condition of open space and the ravages of time.
>As years turn to centuries and centuries to millennia you sit unchanged aside from the cloud of dust that has collected around you from the low gravitational forces your mass produces.
>As time passes the heaven move and shift around you but you remain unchanged even as unusual nebula slowly passes around you.
>The nebula was massive.
>Filled with matter of all type known and even unknown to humanity.
>It also had a strange energy that seemed to flow from everywhere into nowhere.
>As the nebula made its trek through space your sphere stood firm.
>Though you did pickup stray particles here and there as time went on.
>Particles charged with the nebulas raw almost magical energy.
>As time passed layers of the material began to form around your temporal prison.
>By the time the nebula finally passed it had grown to the size of a small planet.
>With you acting as its core and anchor it stayed stationary and unmoved by the forces of the universe.
>It was far from unchanging though.
>The raw magical energy locked away in the newly formed planet lashed out occasionally.
>Once to wrest a star from its place in a passing galaxy and again to grapple a small planetoid to become it’s moon.
>With the sunlight came the opening for life to form and so it did.
>The energy of the planet gave rise to creature great and small and infused with its power.
>And so arose the races that would shape this world.
> Dragons were the first to rise, followed by minotaurs, gryphons and eventually…p0nies.
“Wow. Ok this is original and has not been done before I will give you that.”
[spoiler] Thanks [/spoiler]
“You got me I’m on board so where do we go from here?”
[spoiler] No fucking clue. [/spoiler]
“What!?!”
[spoiler] Like I said I had a problem with this story. That problem was I have no fucking idea where to go or how to get you out of the center of Equestria. [/spoiler]
“Well what am I supposed to do?”
[spoiler] That’s the thing. I got nothing. [/spoiler]
“So what this is the end?”
“You are just going to leave me trapped at the center of Equestria forever?”
[spoiler] Hey you are the one who had to have an “original’ opening. If you had stuck to the first story you would be sitting on Fluttershy’s couch being examined by purplesmart instead of stuck where you are. [/spoiler]
“So what, that’s it?”
[spoiler]  Yup. Anyway I’m out. Enjoy the rest of eternity dumbass. [/spoiler]
“NO! You get back here and write you dipshit!”
“Come back! You can’t just leave me here!?!?”
>Well I guess I’ll just go then.
>Why do I always get the crap narrator jobs?
>Morgan Freeman doesn’t have to deal with this shit.
>They hand him the script.
>He sits in a room and reads it out.
>Gets paid millions.
>You don’t see penguins bitching at him do you?
>Hell no they just sit there, eat their dam fish and let him read.
>Me?
>I get stuck with pissy Anons who won’t shut up.
>Worst job I’ve ever had.
>Fucking end