[PiE] Living with Chrysalis/Living with Cadence

From thread 888 and 917, respectively, a couple short thread bumpers

>Day Before Valentine's Day
>Your earthly abode
>From the living room, you hear a shriek of dismay, followed quickly by a mad dash towards the kitchen.
>Oh great.
>Here we go.
>Rounding the corner, Chrysalis stomps her hoof against the ground.
>"Hold on a clip-clopping minute here!"
>You pause with the frosting laden knife still in your hand.
>The carapace-covered pony scowls at you as she stalks over
>"There's an entire DAY dedicated to love, and you didn't tell me?"
>Pursing your lips, you ponder that for a moment and then shrug.
"Uh, I guess we do."
>Steam threatens to erupt from Chrysalis' ears as she scowls up at you.
>"And you didn't think I could benefit from knowing this?"
"I don't really see a point in that."
>Another shrug, and you go back to frosting the cupcakes.
>That's more important, after all.
>You do your best to hide the smile as you can feel her fuming.
"I mean, it's not like you can eat love anyway."
>"I-I can too!"
>The once (and in her mind, future) queen stomps her hoof on the ground and glares ahead.
>"I could drain you of love right now!"
>Oh?
>That sounds like a challenge.
>Grinning, you finish with the cupcakes and drop the knife into a cup of warm water.
"All right then."
>Rolling up your sleeve, you hold out your arm to her, palm facing up.
"Do it."
>The confident Chrysy crumbles as she glances between you and the tender flesh of your wrist.
>That too long tongue slips out as she licks her lips and then she springs forward, ready to attack.
>Herbivore teeth gnaw on your arm as the pony tries to draw some of the love from your very bones.
>But to no avail.
>Eventually you shake her off and pat her on the head.
"There, there. I'm sure your fangs will grow back some day and then we can find you a nice middle school dance to go visit."
>Chrysalis puffs out her cheeks and storms out of the room, leaving you to finish decorating the cupcakes.
>Huh.
>Maybe you were a little rough on her.
>A short while later, you find her on the sofa, curled up under a blanket and clutching a pillow as she watches some atrocious lovey-dovey film.
>Taking a moment to swallow the bile in your throat, you place one of the cupcakes in front of her.
>Chrysalis glares at you for a moment before looking onto the table.
>The cupcake is covered in pink and white frosting, with red and purple deco-hearts scattered across the sugary expanse.
>And there, in the middle, a large SweetHeart.
>There's a long silence before the black-coated pony picks up the confection and takes a bite.
>Joy flits across her face, but as she turns to face you she grows cold yet again.
>"You're still a jerk. And this heart tastes like chalk."
>Laughing, you plop down on the sofa and place an arm around her.
>She squirms closer to you almost immediately, munching away as you begin a running commentary on how inept everyone in this film is
>Today was a business as usual kind of day.


>Its been a long day
>All you want to do is crash on the couch for an hour or so and then drag yourself into the kitchen for dinner
>That sounds so nice
>The key catches in the door, but with a little wiggling you force it open
>Chrysalis turns her head as you enter and waves, wearing a happy smile
>"Hey, welcome back!"
>She's splayed out across the sofa, taking up every inch of the wonderful softness
>As usual
>You grunt and close the door with your heel before plodding over to the sofa
>There's a long moment of silence as the Changeling Queen stares up at you, as though she doesn't know what you want
>At last, you lift your foot and begin prodding her with it
"Hey."
>She doesn't move
>So you jab her again
"Hey."
>Still nothing
>Heaving a sigh you plant your foot back on the ground and scowl
"Get up."
>Chrysalis pouts and sets her gaze to adorable
>"But Anon, I'm so -comfy-."
>The bug pony makes a show of rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air
>You're sure it's supposed to be sensual in some way
>Probably something she picked up from watching 90's dramas all day
>In truth she looks like an idiot
>You prod her with your foot again
"Don't care. Up."
>At last Chrysalis huffs and rolls off the sofa
>"Fine. I'll just go get something to eat."
>This is your chance!
>As she trots by, you call over your shoulder.
"Hey, while you're up, make me a sandwich."
>"Make your own sandwich!"
>Well, you tried but at least you have your sofa
>Putting your back to the arm of your cushiony comrade, you extend your arms and fall back onto it
>Almost immediately you sink into the sofa, the padding having taken on a strange and unusual shape
>It does nothing but further aggravate your back
>With tears in your eyes, you realize Chrysalis has already staked her claim on this piece of furniture
>It has accepted her as the one true owner after weeks of her laying on it
>You're too late
>It was always too late
>That weekend marked the start of the great easy chair search


>Day 126 of living with Cadence on Earth
>You’ve had your nose at the grindstone all day so you’re ready to kick back and chill
>Open the door and see Cadence sitting on the couch, biting her lower lip
>She’s staring at the television, watching who knows what
>Girly stuff
>As the door clicks shut behind you, the pink pony turns and smile
>“Welcome home!”
>Bouncing up from her seat, she hurries over and takes your things, hanging them on the hat rack by the door
>Flashing you a winning smile, she turns on her hooves and trots back into the hall
>“I tried something new today, are you hungry?”
>You grunt in the affirmative, stepping out of your shoes and following her as she leads you into the kitchen
>You’re not quite sure how, but somewhere along the line Cadence managed to learn the finer points of cooking with cow
>The Princess of Love, working with meat
>He, he.
>Tonight is pot roast
>The meat is so tender you find yourself scooping it up with your fork rather than
piercing it
>You shoot glances across the table at her throughout the meal
>The Princess crashed into your porch window a little over four months ago
>She was distraught for a long time, scrambling to find a way home, but she seems to have mellowed out a little bit
>It’s unfortunate that getting her back to Equestria is proving to be such a hassle, but it’s difficult to take her out in public
>Which means you’re the one scrambling to find resources that might hint at some way for her to open a door back to her home
>She helps, of course, but your costs over the last few months have skyrocketed as you’ve ordered books, pamphlets, tomes, grimoires, and even contacted the Church of Scientology
>That last one was a mistake; your mailbox is still paying the price
>But, Cadence seems to have settled down on her buying binge, so that has done wonders for your mental health
>Speaking of…
>You move away from the table and grab the package out of your coat
>Grinning, you place it on the table in front of her
>There’s no way in hell you can read the crazy language on the spine of the book, but the Princess recognizes it immediately
>With a laugh, she grabs you around the waist and gives you a firm hug
>Her horn jabs you in the chest, but with a little squirming the two of you manage to make it work
>“Oh thank you Anon, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
>You wave her off like it’s no big deal (even though it cost you an arm and a leg) and go back to eating your dinner
>Cadence quickly forgets the meal as she begins pouring over the aged tome, keeping it aloft and turning the pages with her magic
>It’s good to see her cheerful again
>After you finish, the Princess takes care of cleaning and putting everything away before the two of you curl up on the couch
>Cadence is so engrossed in her book that you don’t have the heart to turn on the television, so you just enjoy the heat of her body curled up against your side
>Minutes become hours and slowly you can hear the Princess’ breathing become deeper
>A quick glance confirms that she fell asleep while reading, a small sliver of saliva threatening to mar the page she’s on
>Dabbing your finger against her lip, you smile as she grunts in her sleep
>You’re not sure what you’ll do when she finds a way home, because you know she will if only through sheer determination
>Will you go back to a normal life?
>Could you?
>You sigh and stroke the top of the pink pony’s head, sliding your index finger along the outside of her ears
>The Princess makes a quiet humming sound in her sleep
>Now’s not the time to worry about things like that, you suppose
>Otherwise you’d miss out on how wonderful your heart feels at this very moment
>Closing your eyes, you enjoy the sensation of the pony curled up beside you with her head in your lap
>Worry about the rest tomorrow.