seal fight

use 1 figurine of an ancient seal

[196420] Infernal Seal Ritual
Encounter: hermetic seal
Round 0: ketchup monger wins initiative!
Round 0: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 1: The skeletal warrior and cleric nip off to the tavern for a few minutes, and come back in a significantly better mood.
Round 1: Your skeletal buddy approaches the warrior with a microwave burrito, saying "Hey buuuuddy, weeze a little grindage?" The warrior eats it. Somehow.
Round 1: Your skeletal warrior flexes his. . . humerus? Anyway, it seems to intimidate your opponent.
Round 1: hermetic seal drops 25 attack power.
Round 1: The skeletal wizard snaps his fingers, and the warrior's sword is suddenly wreathed in flames. Sweet.
Round 1: Your skeletal cleric mutters an incantation, and holy light pours from his mouth to surround his entire skeleton.
Round 1: Your skeletal wizard moves toward the cleric to take advantage of the additional light and peruse his spellbook a little.
Round 1: The skeletal rogue eyes the cleric suspiciously with what would be his eyes, if he had eyes.
Round 1: Your skeletal wizard pulls a vial of green liquid from... somewhere, and hands it to the rogue, who coats his blades with it.
Round 1: Your skeletal rogue sneaks up behind your opponent and trips him for 1 damage.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 1: geezer bleeps, "MEDICAL SYSTEMS ACTIVATED," and fires a dart into your neck. You suddenly feel much better.
You gain 266 hit points
You gain 266 Muscularity Points
Round 1: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 1: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 1: The holy light around your cleric burns away your opponent's impurities, for 1 damage.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 1: Frost forms on your skeletal wizard's fingerbones as he hurls a cold blast at your opponent for 1 damage.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 1: Your skeletal buddy tells a few lame jokes, then fakes its own death for comedic effect. Your opponent looks demoralized when it turns out the death was fake.
Round 1: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 1: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
You lose 1 hit point
Round 1: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 2: geezer bleeps, "MEDICAL SYSTEMS ACTIVATED," and fires a dart into your neck. You suddenly feel much better.
You gain 267 hit points
You gain 267 Muscularity Points
Round 2: In stilted, stop-motion-style action, your skeletal warrior hits your foe for 1 (+1) damage.
Round 2: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 2: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 2: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 2: Your cleric moans, "I can see your dirty pillows," and blasts him with his holy light for 1 damage.
Round 2: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 2: Your skeletal wizard points a cold shoulder (well, clavicle/humerus joint, anyway) at your opponent, doing 1 damage.
Round 2: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 2: Your skeletal buddy dons a dress and a fruit basket hat and does a ridiculous dance. Your opponent looks confused...
Round 2: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 2: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 3: You hear a faint howling of wind, and geezer suddenly appears out of the shadows, holding your opponent's meat pouch.
You gain 887 Meat.
Round 3: In stilted, stop-motion-style action, your skeletal warrior hits your foe for 1 (+1) damage.
Round 3: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 3: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 3: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 3: Your cleric moans, "I can see your dirty pillows," and blasts him with his holy light for 1 damage.
Round 3: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 3: Your skeletal wizard raises his hand and fires a burst of frigid air at your opponent, dealing 1 damage, chilling him both to and from the bone.
Round 3: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 3: Your skeletal buddy delivers a stoned-sounding speech full of incomprehensible slang and weird pauses in the middle of wo . . . rds. Your foe looks confused.
Round 3: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 3: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 4: geezer's bells jingle merrily.
Round 4: You hear a faint howling of wind, and geezer suddenly appears out of the shadows, holding your opponent's meat pouch.
You gain 1,247 Meat.
Round 4: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 4: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 4: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 4: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 4: Your opponent hides from the holy light around your cleric, clawing at his own eyes for 1 damage.
Round 4: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 4: Icicles form in your skeletal wizard's eye sockets as he channels a blast of air as frigid as your mom at your opponent for 1 damage.
Round 4: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 4: Your skeletal buddy tells a few lame jokes, then fakes its own death for comedic effect. Your opponent looks demoralized when it turns out the death was fake.
Round 4: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 4: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 5: geezer shouts "Yarrrr!" and battens your opponent's hatches for him. Violently. For 1 damage.
Round 5: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 5: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 5: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 5: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 5: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 5: The holy light around your cleric burns away your opponent's impurities, for 1 damage.
Round 5: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 5: Your skeletal wizard points a cold shoulder (well, clavicle/humerus joint, anyway) at your opponent, doing 1 damage.
Round 5: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 5: Your skeletal buddy tells a few lame jokes, then fakes its own death for comedic effect. Your opponent looks demoralized when it turns out the death was fake.
Round 5: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 5: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 6: geezer shouts "Yarrrr!" and battens your opponent's hatches for him. Violently. For 1 damage.
Round 6: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 6: Your skeletal warrior slashes your opponent for 1 (+1) damage, leaving him thoroughly boned.
Round 6: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 6: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 6: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 6: Your cleric moans, "I can see your dirty pillows," and blasts him with his holy light for 1 damage.
Round 6: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 6: Your skeletal wizard points a cold shoulder (well, clavicle/humerus joint, anyway) at your opponent, doing 1 damage.
Round 6: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 6: Your skeletal buddy dons a dress and a fruit basket hat and does a ridiculous dance. Your opponent looks confused...
Round 6: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 6: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 7: geezer shouts "Yarrrr!" and battens your opponent's hatches for him. Violently. For 1 damage.
Round 7: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 7: Your skeletal warrior has a bone to pick with your foe, but settles for a sword to slash for 1 (+1) damage.
Round 7: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 7: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 7: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 7: The holy light around your cleric burns away your opponent's impurities, for 1 damage.
Round 7: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 7: Frost forms on your skeletal wizard's fingerbones as he hurls a cold blast at your opponent for 1 damage.
Round 7: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 7: Your skeletal buddy tells a few lame jokes, then fakes its own death for comedic effect. Your opponent looks demoralized when it turns out the death was fake.
Round 7: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 7: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 8: geezer does a pelvic thrust at your opponent. A piece of toast ricochets off his head, momentarily stunning him (and/or driving him insa-a-a-a-ane.)
You acquire an item: toast
Round 8: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 8: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 8: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 8: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 8: Your cleric moans, "I can see your dirty pillows," and blasts him with his holy light for 1 damage.
Round 8: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 8: Icicles form in your skeletal wizard's eye sockets as he channels a blast of air as frigid as your mom at your opponent for 1 damage.
Round 8: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 8: Your skeletal buddy delivers a stoned-sounding speech full of incomprehensible slang and weird pauses in the middle of wo . . . rds. Your foe looks confused.
Round 8: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 8: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 9: geezer shouts "Yarrrr!" and battens your opponent's hatches for him. Violently. For 1 damage.
Round 9: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 9: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 9: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 9: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 9: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 9: Your opponent hides from the holy light around your cleric, clawing at his own eyes for 1 damage.
Round 9: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 9: Frost briefly forms a wizardly beard on your wizard skeleton, as he hurls a blast of frigid air at your opponent for 1 damage.
Round 9: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 9: Your skeletal buddy does his best impression of a weasel, confusing the bejeebus out of your opponent.
Round 9: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 9: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 10: geezer shambles up to your opponent with a "Graaaaagh," and bites him on the head. He seems a little dazed by the experience.
Round 10: hermetic seal drops 87 attack power.
Round 10: hermetic seal drops 87 defense.
Round 10: In stilted, stop-motion-style action, your skeletal warrior hits your foe for 1 (+1) damage.
Round 10: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 10: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 10: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 10: The halo of light around your skeletal cleric radiates out at your opponent, burning him, in his naughtiness, for 1 damage.
Round 10: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 10: Your skeletal wizard raises his hand and fires a burst of frigid air at your opponent, dealing 1 damage, chilling him both to and from the bone.
Round 10: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 10: Your skeletal buddy dons a dress and a fruit basket hat and does a ridiculous dance. Your opponent looks confused...
Round 10: hermetic seal drops 4 defense.
Round 10: ketchup monger uses the facsimile dictionary!
Round 11: geezer shambles up to your opponent with a "Graaaaagh," and bites him on the head. He seems a little dazed by the experience.
Round 11: hermetic seal drops 86 attack power.
Round 11: hermetic seal drops 86 defense.
Round 11: Your skeletal warrior thrusts his sword through your opponent, doing 1 (+1) damage and looking like a bad-ass heavy metal album cover.
Round 11: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 11: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 11: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 11: The light around your skeletal cleric seeks out your opponent's impurities and burns them away, for 1 damage.
Round 11: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 11: Your skeletal wizard raises his hand and fires a burst of frigid air at your opponent, dealing 1 damage, chilling him both to and from the bone.
Round 11: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 11: Your skeletal buddy does his best impression of a weasel, confusing the bejeebus out of your opponent.
Round 11: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 11: ketchup monger casts FURIOUS WALLOP!
Round 12: hermetic seal takes 686815 damage.
You gain 20 hit points
Round 12: geezer bleeps, "MEDICAL SYSTEMS ACTIVATED," and fires a dart into your neck. You suddenly feel much better.
You gain 267 hit points
You gain 267 Muscularity Points
Round 12: Your skeletal warrior has a bone to pick with your foe, but settles for a sword to slash for 1 (+1) damage.
Round 12: hermetic seal takes 2 damage.
Round 12: Taking advantage of the distraction, your skeletal rogue stabs your opponent right in the back, dealing an additional 1 damage.
Round 12: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 12: The light around your skeletal cleric seeks out your opponent's impurities and burns them away, for 1 damage.
Round 12: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 12: Your skeletal wizard raises his hand and fires a burst of frigid air at your opponent, dealing 1 damage, chilling him both to and from the bone.
Round 12: hermetic seal takes 1 damage.
Round 12: Your skeletal buddy tells a few lame jokes, then fakes its own death for comedic effect. Your opponent looks demoralized when it turns out the death was fake.
Round 12: hermetic seal drops 5 defense.
Round 12: ketchup monger wins the fight!
After Battle: Your skeletal buddy howls wildly at the cleric, trying to get him to loosen up a little bit. It has the opposite effect.
After Battle: The skeletal cleric splashes you with what you sincerely hope is holy water. It does seem to heal your wounds a little, at least.
You gain 25 hit points
After Battle: Your skeletal buddy attempts to teach the skeletal wizard how to more effectively "weeze the juice." You can't tell if it works, but the wizard definitely looks angrier.
After Battle: The skeletal wizard drains a little bit of the thaumosphere's magical energy and channels it into your body.
You gain 10 Muscularity Points
After Battle: The skeletal rogue vanishes into the darkness, and returns with some meat on the point of his dagger.
After Battle: Your skeletal buddy points out a few "choice stash locations" that the rogue overlooked.
You gain 44 Meat.
After Battle: You chuckle as your skeletal buddy regales you with tales of his time in the Army.
You gain 10 hit points
You gain 10 Muscularity Points
You acquire an item: powdered sealbone
You gain 98 muskewlairtees
You gain 58 mistikkaltees
You gain 158 mawksees