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- >"Would you like to see the bird pony migration with me?"
- >No, no you wouldn't.
- "Sure."
- >But of course you're too much of a doormat yourself to say that to her.
- >She brightens up.
- >"Wonderful! I'll get everything ready! Oh, this is so exciting!"
- >You smile and nod.
- >You were pretty damn sure it wouldn't be.
- >Fluttershy squeaks and runs upstairs, leaving you alone in the first floor of her home.
- >And here you thought you were just going to have a casual breakfast today.
- >And though Fluttershy was pretty cool, you usually just came for the free food.
- >Even though Celestia sent your ass to Twilight to be "preserved," to her, it didn't necessarily mean regular meals.
- >Even though it fucking should.
- >You sigh and walk over to the couch.
- >Angel instinctively starts trying to kick your shit.
- >You grab him and put him on the highest birdhouse you see, then resume lounging.
- >He freaks out and starts squeaking.
- >You bust out that Walkman and plug your shit in.
- >You never really used the shit, but after Twilight blew up your fucking phone and laptop, it was the only thing you had to ignore ponies with.
- >It was also now the only thing you had from Earth.
- >You raise the volume and stare blankly at Angel flailing around everywhere, focused more on your memories of home.
- >You close your eyes and relax.
- >
- >"I'm ready!"
- "..."
- >"Anon, I'm ready!"
- "..."
- >"Anon, a-are you alright?"
- "..."
- >"A-Angel, what's wrong with Anon?! And why are you up there?!"
- >She flocks to your side.
- >"Anon! Are you breathing- I don't think he's breathing!! ANON!"
- >She shakes you.
- >You lazily open your eyes and yawn, then turn everything off.
- "Jeez, how long was I out? So, you ready, then?"
- >She looks confused and frightened.
- >Her eyes are all watery.
- "Uuh, something wrong?"
- >
- >Well, here you are.
- >Bird pony migration.
- >Still no idea what the fuck a bird pony is, but Fluttershy talked about how amazing they were on the walk over here.
- >She set down a picnic blanket on top of a hill and put her binoculars on.
- >"It should be any second now! We came just in time!"
- "I didn't come anywhere, what are you talking about?"
- >She ignores you, either out of excitement, or because she had no idea what you just said.
- >She continues staring.
- >"Oh my gosh, there they are! I was right!"
- >You stare at the area she was pointing at.
- >You see a Pegasus fly out.
- >Then another.
- >Then a bunch.
- >Was this some sort of fucking joke or something?
- >And if those Pegasi were migrating, why the hell wasn't she?
- >Hell, you didn't even KNOW Pegasi migrated.
- "Is Twilight migrating, too? You know, being half and half?"
- >Fluttershy turns from her binoculars and looks at you like you're a fucking retard.
- >"Twilight's not a bird pony!"
- "What about Rainbow?"
- >[Pitiful horse noises intensify]
- >"Rainbow's not one, either, Anon."
- "What do you mean she's not? She's a Pegasus, and those are Pegasi! And why aren't YOU migrating if this is a thing?"
- >"...Those aren't Pegasi, Anon."
- >You stare at them for a moment.
- >Those were fucking Pegasi.
- "Yes they ARE! Fucking LOOK at them!"
- >She flinches, then develops a stern look.
- >"Don't be so loud! You'll scare them!"
- "BUT THEY'RE JUST FUCKING PEGASI-"
- >"SHH! Watch."
- >You cross your arms and huff, watching Fluttershy fish around her bag.
- >You swear, this was worse than trying to fucking prove that human technology wasn't a lie to Twilight.
- >In fact, that's how you lost laptop and phone.
- >...Purple bitch.
- >Flutterbutter pulls out a small container and empties its contents a little ways in front of you both.
- >Breadcrumbs?
- >What the fuck kind of Pegasi would come down for a fucking-
- >Three of them drop down and start eating the crumbs.
- >Fluttershy stifles a cheer and busts out her camera.
- >One Pegasus was black, with a red mane and a white pattern on her head and wings.
- >Another was a light blue, with white and orange on her bottom half, and an even lighter blue mane.
- >The third had a dark blue mane with a few black and white areas, and a coat similar to Rainbow's.
- >They practically destroy the crumbs and fly off.
- >Fluttershy gasps and watches them in awe, before turning to a grey Pegasus getting ready to land next to us.
- >"Oh my gosh, here comes another one!"
- >She puts a slice of bread in your hand.
- >"Feed her!"
- >The grey Pegasus lands.
- >She looks around at the grass for crumbs.
- >Then she turns to you.
- >Her head tilts to the side.
- >She stares at the bread in your hand.
- "You, uh, want it?"
- >The Pegasus doesn't respond.
- >You tear the bread in half and hold it out to her.
- >She slowly walks over to you and takes it.
- >She throws her head back and swallows it.
- >...Just like a bird would.
- >You tear a smaller piece and hold it in your hand.
- >Meanwhile, Fluttershy spots a colorful Pegasus and turns away from you, snapping away.
- >The Pegasus gets a bit closer to you, then pecks at the crumb.
- >...Well, the closest thing to pecking you can get with a muzzle.
- >She coos.
- >You pause.
- >She literally COOed.
- >Like, PIGEON COO.
- "The fuck?"
- >She backs away a bit and watches you.
- >"Anon! Don't be mean!"
- >You turn back to her.
- >You hold out another crumb.
- >She pecks it.
- "You are the weirdest Pegasus I've ever met..."
- >"It's not a Pegasus, Anon!"
- "-Oh whatever."
- >Then the pony flies away.
- "...Well that was fucking weird."
- >
- >Finally after taking thousands of goddamn pictures, Fluttershy was ready to leave.
- >You wrapped the picnic blanket up and started following Fluttershy down the hill.
- >Luckily, the migration thing was only about an hour.
- >Not nearly as gay and boring as the butterfly migration, that's for sure.
- >You take a few steps, then hear a coo.
- >A pigeon coo.
- >You slowly turn around.
- >That bird pony thing is standing there, staring at you.
- "Uuh..."
- >You fish into your pocket and throw the bread you had left at her hooves.
- >She looks down at it and starts eating.
- >Weird ass thing...
- >
- >The walk to Flutter's house was short and uneventful.
- >Soon, you found yourself lying on her couch again, while she made some tea for you both.
- >You once again bust out your shitty Walkman and listen to them sick Earth tunes.
- >Then you feel something staring at you.
- >You pause for a moment, then turn, expecting to see Angel glaring at you like a bitch.
- >Instead, it's the bird pony.
- "HOLY FUCK!!"
- >You fall off the couch and on your face.
- >Fluttershy comes running out.
- >"WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG, ANON?"
- >You merely point at the window.
- >She runs over to it and looks at it.
- >"Umm, what's wrong with it?"
- >You stand up and turn to the window.
- >Nothing.
- >...How the hell?
- "Th-there, b-but..."
- >"Are you feeling okay?"
- "I'm fine! I, I just... I don't know..."
- >Your eyes linger on the window.
- >
- >After tea with Fluttershy, you were finally on your way back home.
- >Throughout the entire walk, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, though.
- >You tried casually glancing around, as to avoid any comments or panic from the ponies.
- >The last time you talked about Freddy Krueger, the entire town went apeshit.
- >You didn't want anything like that again.
- >Though the attention from all the mares in town was not unwelcome.
- >You practically sprint into your home when you spot it.
- >You lock the shit out of it and close all the blinds.
- >Immediately you walk into your room and lie on your bed.
- >And, immediately, you hear a tap on your window.
- >You turn to the side.
- >It's the pigeon pony.
- >"...Coo."
- "-AAAAAHHH!"
- >You struggle and fall off your bed, wrapped all up in sheets.
- >You try to crawl into the other room unnoticed.
- >"Coo!"
- >Your throat becomes dry.
- >Your heart starts pounding.
- >Your breathing is labored.
- >...Then you realize it's just a bird at your window.
- >You groan and stand up.
- >The pony's just sitting.
- >After glaring at her for a moment, you finally walk up to window and tap on it, trying to scare her.
- >You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep with her just sitting there.
- >But she doesn't move.
- >Instead, her muzzle begins following your hand.
- >She licks the window.
- "Ew, don't do that! Stop!"
- >She coos.
- >You sigh and open the window up.
- "Will you just fly away alrea-"
- >She tears through the screen and lands on your bed.
- "H-hey! Get off the bed!"
- >She coos and gets comfortable on your bed.
- >And by comfortable, you mean she starts making some makeshift nest out of your pillows and blankets.
- >You can just imagine what she's done outside.
- "Oh my god, can you at least fucking shower?"
- >She cocks her head and coos.
- "No, not 'coo'. SH-OW-ER."
- >She coos.
- "Jesus Christ."
- >You walk up and pick her up.
- >She doesn't struggle in the slightest.
- >It's like she's already used to you.
- >Just as you turn to throw her out of your house, she starts nuzzling your neck.
- >She coos again.
- >But it almost sounds... happy.
- >Damn you and your doormat-y ways, Anon.
- >You walk instead into your bathroom and place her gently on the ground.
- >She takes some nearby towels and starts making a nest.
- "N-no! I just washed those!"
- >She stops and looks at you.
- >You gently wiggle your finger before her.
- "Nooo towel nest. Bad bird thingy."
- >She makes a small peep.
- "That's right, no towel nest shit!"
- >She peeps again.
- >"Good, peeping pigeon pony...thing."
- >You start up the tub with some warm water and watch it fill up.
- >She comes by and rests her front hooves on the rim of it, watching in awe.
- >You get a pretty good look of her-
- >-MOVING ON.
- >But those are DEFINITELY not bird-parts.
- >When the tub is finally filled fairly well, you shut the valve.
- >She chirps, then starts pawing at it.
- "Nope, no more water."
- >She looks up at you and coos.
- "Noooo wah-terr."
- >She peeps.
- "Okay, now you need to wash yourself in here."
- >You point at the tub.
- "You get in, IN the tub."
- >You do a little diving motion.
- "Then you wash!"
- >You dip your hand in the water and splash a little bit.
- >She peeps, and you slowly lift and place her in the water.
- >Immediately, she unfurls her wings and starts splashing everywhere.
- >You forgot how birds cleaned themselves.
- >And this pony pretty much WAS a bird already.
- >She dips her head in and ruffles her feathers in the tub.
- >Water splashes out and hits you in the face.
- "-ACK! NO! NO, STOP IT!"
- >She pauses and coos at you.
- "Don't bathe like that! Not here! Just- ugh, stay still."
- >She peeps, letting you grab the loofah and body washing stuff for her.
- >You squirt a good amount onto it, then lather the shit out of it.
- >She watches you attentively.
- >Once it's up to your standards, you bring it over to her.
- "Alrighty, just hold still."
- >You slowly reach it over to her back and start there.
- >She flinches, then calms down.
- >You gently begin rubbing her coat.
- >She peeps and looks at you while you do.
- >You start cleaning her chest when you're done.
- >Her eyes follow the loofah the majority of the time.
- >You take off your socks and shit and roll up your pant legs before sitting beside the tub.
- >You finish cleaning her chest, then pick up a front hoof and put it on your lap to scrub it down.
- >She chirps as you do.
- >Only a few hours maybe, and this pony was already growing on you.
- >You finish one hoof and move to the other.
- >She lifts it up and places it on your lap without you even needing to do anything.
- "Wow. Quick learner."
- >Maybe this pony ACTS like a bird, but doesn't have the knowledge of one?
- >What if it was only a language barrier between you two?
- >You dwell on the thought as you finish her hooves.
- >The next step for you would be her wittle pony tummy.
- >...Did you just fucking say that?
- >You shake the thought, then pick her up fireman style.
- >You gently set her in the tub and reach over to scrub her, but she slides down from your grasp.
- >You move her up again, and the same thing happens.
- >She's any lower, it'll be a bitch to comfortably scrub her down, and if the water's any lower, there won't be any.
- >You think for a moment, then pick her up again and set her in your lap.
- >It gets some water on your pants.
- >You set her back down and instinctively remove them.
- >Then you realize that there's a female literally right next to you.
- >THEN you realize that she probably doesn't even understand there being anything wrong with you having your pants off.
- >You fold them and get back into the tub, then put the pony in your lap again.
- >And technically, this pony was a wild animal.
- >Though, the way she easily let you pick her up and scrub her down said otherwise.
- >An interesting one, for sure.
- >You start washing her stomach.
- >She chirps a lot during.
- >You keep trying to avert your eyes from her horse parts meanwhile, but it begins to get really difficult.
- >Then you finish.
- >And you've only got one more place to clean...
- >Her hindquarters...
- >O-oh boy...
- >You start by gently washing the bottom of her hind legs.
- >You try not to think about getting kicked in the face.
- >It's difficult, but soon enough, you finish them both.
- >You move the loofah over to her rump and slowly start with circles.
- >She chirps.
- >It's a bit lower pitched.
- >Then you slowly move downwards to... there...
- >She stifles another chirp.
- >She's still in your lap the whole time.
- >You think you see her face getting red.
- >A leg twitches.
- >You feel yourself pitching a small tent.
- >You try to will it down, but it's no use.
- >It's still standing.
- >You start slowly running circles around the spot.
- >She slightly grinds into you.
- >Smart or not, this pony knew what she wanted.
- >And you were fighting back supplying her with it.
- >Taking advantage of a wild pony like this...
- >It wouldn't go down very well with you.
- >You start brushing up and down.
- >She chirps.
- >Her face is definitely red.
- >You finish with the circles and stop.
- >She just looks at you with pleading eyes.
- >Then she actually gets up and sits on you.
- >She's extremely close to the danger zone.
- >She clings to your neck and chirps again.
- >Okay, there was no way she was just 'a wild animal' now.
- >You reach for your boxers, then stop.
- >She stares at your hand.
- >You still shouldn't do this.
- >You shouldn't.
- >She looks disappointed.
- "Maybe when you're actually able to TALK to me, yeah?
- >You place her back in the tub and grab the shampoo.
- >You were gonna need a really fucking cold shower after this.
- >
- "There ya go, all squeaky clean and dry!"
- >She chirps, and... smiles?
- >Sweet Satan, this proves tha-
- >Well, you've seen dogs look happy before.
- >But they ARE intelligent.
- >Just, you know, not human level intelligent.
- >But you could probably teach her a few things.
- >You look over at a clock.
- >Time to fucking SLEEP!
- >Your favorite time of day.
- >You throw the towel in your hamper and walk outside the bathroom.
- >She follows you into your room and hops in her nest.
- "Hey, I need a blanket too, you know!"
- >She tilts her head and chirps.
- >Damn.
- >You were hoping for some kind of miracle moment where she understood what you said.
- >You get on your bed and sigh.
- >She peers out from her nest and peeps.
- "Goodnight to you too."
- >She peeps again.
- "What?"
- >She pauses, then peeps again.
- "Yeah, well, goodnight then, I guess, PEEP."
- >She tilts her head and peeps.
- >
- >That was possibly the worst sleep you've ever had in your entire fucking life.
- >You peel your eyes open and see only grey.
- >The pony's lying on top of you.
- >She's breathing on your neck.
- >And drooling.
- >You can feel it all over you.
- "Ew, ew, oh god..."
- >You can only stay still as you feel her saliva crawling down you.
- >Then you feel something else.
- >...Oh god.
- >She's grinding you.
- >It's getting all over your pants.
- "Jesus Christ, I don't remember pigeons being so goddamn horny all the time!"
- >You try to slowly slip out from under her, but can't.
- >Not without waking her up, of course.
- >And the last time you woke a pony up, you got three books to the face.
- >Though, you DID use an air horn...
- >She tweets and gasps a little bit.
- >Your beautiful pants...
- >You feel Anon Jr. coming in uninvited.
- >And your pants are unzipped.
- >You know, it makes midnight pissing much easier.
- >But you're just glad you don't go commando.
- >Though, you're REALLY close to being, you know... IN there.
- >Well, you're actually ALREADY there, but your underwear's the only thing in the way.
- >It's also a bit tempting to just...
- >No, no, goddamn it, dick.
- >You've gone pony-less this long, you can go longer.
- >...Not the best choice of words.
- >Then you hear knocking at the door.
- >She starts lazily waking up.
- >HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!
- >You hop out from under her like a pro and zip them pant- actually, you should fucking change!
- >You leap into the closet and throw on them new pants.
- >It's good to buy in bulk sometimes.
- >You come out and see her all red and covering her parts with the sheets.
- >She peeps a few times, as if telling you somethi-
- >No, just bird talk.
- >No way that she's that smart...
- >-Fuck, right, door!
- >You leave her peeping and making bird sounds and head for the door.
- >It's Fluttershy.
- "Eey, Flutterbutter! What can I do ya for?"
- >"Would you like to see the rest of the bird pony migration with me?"
- "Oh, sure, yeah, I'll- wait,'rest'?"
- >She nods.
- >"Yesterday was the migrating of all the female bird ponies for a mate! Today, all the full families will take flight!"
- "Uh... m-mate?"
- >"Uh huh!"
- "W-wow, I'm really interested in that! So... can you tell me what the bird ponies usually do when they find a mate?"
- >"Well, depending on the species they're crossed after, they might do a dance, or nuzzle you, or-"
- "Nuzzle?"
- >She nods.
- "Y-you mean, like-"
- >You both hear a tweet.
- >Fluttershy pauses.
- >"Was... was that-"
- >She chirps.
- "...Woooaaah, my stomach is making some WEIRD sounds! I must be REALLY hungry, ah heh heh..."
- >"...Your stomach makes those noises when you're hungry?"
- "Pft, yeah, of course!... It's a human thing; you wouldn't get it."
- >Fluttershy just quizzically stares at you.
- "Yeeaah, heh, you know us humans, always-"
- >You hear another peep.
- >Then the pony in question flies on your shoulders.
- >She peeps again.
- >She rests her head on top of yours.
- "Fuck."
- >Fluttershy backs away a bit.
- >"Anon? W-why-"
- "I don't know, okay? She followed me home yesterday, and I kinda just kept her."
- >She blinks.
- >"J-just 'kept' her?"
- "Well, yeah, I mean, look at this face!"
- >You grab the pony from your shoulders and hold her under an arm, squeezing her cheeks.
- "Isn't she just adowable?"
- >She giggles.
- >Well, you think she does.
- >Flutterbutter's just staring at you.
- >"S-so, you're her MATE?"
- "Well, I dunno. Sure, she DID nuzzle me or whatever, and may've-"
- >"Bird ponies usually aren't that comfortable with regular ponies..."
- "What do you mean, 'comfortable'?"
- >You pick the pony up and hold her in your arms like a baby.
- >You rub her tummy with a hand.
- >You just couldn't resist that shit.
- >She looks so fluffy.
- >"Th-that. That's comfortable."
- >You look at the pony in your arms.
- "Hmm. Well, maybe she's a LITTLE comfortable with me."
- >"H-has she tried to... y-you know?"
- >You stare blankly at Fluttershy for a moment.
- >Then it clicked.
- "-OOOh, get in my pants? Yup, yup, plenty of that yesterday."
- >"A-and you DO k-know it's...THAT season for them, right?"
- >You continue rubbing with your hand while you think.
- "Well, shit, now I do. Isn't that the season where all the mares go crazy for dick and shit? Like when you came by my house almost everyday asking for me to-"
- >"-PLEASE d-don't talk about that..."
- "-Ey, just saying, I would've, if you weren't so goddamn ki-"
- >"-I GOTTA GO NOW!-"
- >She runs away.
- "...Kinky bitch."
- >You walk back inside.
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