All Star Battle! The Blessed Gestalt Vs The Cursed Genius

<For easier viewing, these hook brackets 『』 represents when someone talks in Japanese>

>A shake awakens you from your slumber
>aaaaaaaaaaaaand it's dark
>All around you
>And everything feels like dirt
>Naturally, as would anyone in this situation, you begin to panic
>Where are you?
>How did you get here?
>Who did this?
>WHY?
>Was it the Rainbooms?
>No, they may be creeps who've stalked you like vultures, but you're pretty sure they'd never go THIS far
>Trixie?
>Idiot, she's practically been BEGGING you to join her! WHY would she do this NOW?!
>Did she finally decide you've outlived your usefulness?!
>Did you finally piss someone off enough to drive them to this?!
>Is this it?!
>Is this truly the end of your biz-
>*rumble*
>"..."C͊͒̂̔͌̚͜͏͏̛͔͉̲̜̱̟ḁ̴̮͚̲͈̺̭͈͔͇͖̊̓̂͆̇̔̄ͩ͂ͫ̏͆̅͒͟͡r̾̀ͧͭͤͪ̊̈̀҉̦̝̣̭̭͕͍͇͔̺̞͘̕ͅe͖̻̥̤̰̝̖̼̫̣ͩ͆́̿ͫ͒̈̚̕.̴̛̛͇̖̜̟̳̰̠̦̰̹̤̥͚̻͕̯̤̲͂͗͊̎ͥͤ͛̎̅̄̈́͊̌ͧ.̶̩͇̳̲̣̬ͣ͛͊ͯͨ͐ͧ͒̚͡.ͤ̿͌͋̑͏̶̵̲̥̬͕̬͙̭̼̮͈̖̞̩͇?̴̛̯͖̦͎̘̼̬̫̀̉ͣ͌̂͋̈̃̆̇̓̕͞"
>A voice, normally bubbly with cheer, rings though the dark walls of-
>*TREMBLE*
>-wherever you are
>"C̷̣͋ͭ̂̉̊̂ͮ̚͡a͉̞ͫͥ̓̚͟ȑ̅̽̀͏̟͔̰̱̤̤ë̵̟͓̫́͐ͧͦ̎̔̀͞?̡̙ͣ͟"
>Recognizable, but faint
>*CRACK!*
>A light!
>"C͍͎̞͆͛͘a͇ͩ̔͋̒̽͒r̷̠͚̟̪ẽ̩̬̦ͭ̓͞ ̨͗̓̊Ȑ̡̫̬̦̜̮̤͚͗̓̈̍͂̏o͖̭̣̺̠͊ͨ̾̎̚ō̻̤̻͚̭̤͆̉̓͌ͣ̈͡ͅt̝̘͔̖̅ͫ̍ͪͪͦ͢?̙͔̻̺̝̻̽ͅ!̸ͩ̐̑̈́̀̉̔"
>As your eyes adjust to the now growing light, a face moves into view
>HER face
>"Care? Can you hear me?"
"*Hmmmng* What's- ha-"
>Before you can answer, Derpy grows closer, as her arms wrap around you and her chest pushes up against yours
>"Oh thank god you're alright!"
>This feels nice
>With the reassuring hug, you've calmed down
>But you're still confused about quite a lot of things
"Where... Wha..."
>"Is this your friend?"
>"Yeah."
>"Who-Who're you?"
>"Oh. Pardon me."
>Another face, this one not so familiar, walks up behind the other
>He's tall, has a few odd lines running down the left side of his face and has small spikes jutting from the side of his head
>"Joubin Higashikata, at your service."
>He extends a hand to you, and you grip it
>With that, Joubin and Derpy lift you from the earthen pit in which you awoke
"Gah, where am I?"

>"Morioh City?"
>Now that you've dug Mr Care out of the ground near the Wall Eyes, it's only polite to bring him back home and help him get acclimated to the current situation
"Correct."
>He and his friend, Ms Dernier Piege, are walking beside you as you lead them to the house
>"In Japan."
"Yep."
>Care's face grows into one of confusion.
"What's up?"
>"I guess... I didn't expect someone to speak to me in fluent English in Japan."
"Well it IS a part of the curriculum here."
>"Ah."
"That and my father runs a fruit parlor in town which gets quite a few international tourists, so he figured it wouldn't hurt to learn."
>"Still though, how did we end up here, of all places?"
>Seems he and his female compatriot are from 'Equestria' (some city in America most likely, considering they're speaking English), and were driving to their high school for classes, when they blacked out and woke up here
>"So, any idea how this could've happened?"
"I wish I could tell you, Ms Dernier."
>"Please, call me Derpy."
"Well Derpy, I have to admit, this might be the most confusing thing to happen near the Wall Eyes for a while now."
>"What are we gonna do?"
"I'll see what I can do about getting you two back home, eh?"
>The young blond woman gives you a confused look, her lazy eye drifting somewhat
"I've got the cash to spare."
>"I... Okay, I guess."
"I can assure you, it's no trouble."
>They both look at each other, give a shrug, and continue walking
"So, you two are friends, classmates, or...?"
>"Yeah, we're, uhh... friends."
>Ooooh
>'friends'
"Got it."
>As the conversation ends, you all finally arrive at the house
>"So this is your house?"
>"My father's actually. Most of the land we've been treading is a part of the estate he owns."

<"And now...">
<Rohan opens up a nearby rock with 「HEAVEN'S DOOR OVER HEAVEN」, and writes 'I will fly at Joubin's head at 90 kilometers an hour.'>[/spoiler]
<"It will all come together...">

>*PTCHOO*
>"Joubin, watch out!"
>What-?
>A blast of red light flies out from Care's wrist
>『What the-!』
>It whizzes by your head and blows up a rock that was flying near you head
>As you turn to Care Root, a blue and gold man wearing a cowboy hat with red tubes on its back floats above him
>"Well, there goes a nice quiet lunch."
>"What was that Care?"
>"Nothing."
>You look away and pretend to be busy with your phone before they notice you looking in the direction of his Stand
>So, one of the new arrivals has a Stand
>Does the girl know?
>...
"So, what say we get you set up inside so I can get something sorted out?"
>Admittedly, that 'something' wasn't getting them a plane home
>That Stand of his looked like it had power behind it, shattering a rock like that with such little effort
>Though, that line about lunch seemed off
>Perhaps there's a trade off?
>In any case, he certainly seems like he could be useful
>Yotsuyu , Aishou, the A.Phex brothers, even Damo
>All failed in stopping Jousuke
>But maybe the new guy...?

>『Morning!』
>You and Care enter the large estate's living room/dining room with Joubin, who greets his family with a wave (that's mostly gathered from context clues, you don't know Japanese)
>A man of even taller stature than Joubin with little balls connected to the ends of his hair happily walks over to him
>『Joubin! Did you find out wh-』
>The tall man freezes upon noticing you and Care
>『I- who-?』
『I found them buried near the Wall Eyes.』
>『Oh! Are they, like, y'know... Jousuke?』
>Joubin gives you and Care a quick one-over
>『Not that I can see.』
>『Well then! How's it go-』
>『Uhh, dad? They're Americans.』
>『...How did-』
>『No idea. Said they were driving to school, were knocked out and then BAM! Here they are.』
>『I-wh-...*Ahem*Alright then.』
>The tall man with the balls in his hair moves his open hand towards you and Care
>"How's it going? Norisuke Higashikata. And you?"
"Piege. Dernier Piege and Care Root."
>You shake his hand, and he and Care shake as well
>It's so nice of Joubin and Norisuke to help
>...
>Where's Joubin?

『Tsurugi!』
>Walking down the hall you call for your son
『Tsurugi?』
>As you call out his name a second time, you spot him walking out of your room
>『Papa?』
>He's holding a beetle, probably from your collection, and looking at it, observing it
>『Papa, I- I was just-』
『Calm down champ. You're not in trouble.』
>You softly take the beetle, looking at it for yourself
>A Satiporoja Beetle
>Good pick
>『Daddy just needs you to do something for him.』
>You slip out a piece of paper from your back pocket

>"So, what do ya think?"
>Norisuke brings out 2 fruit parfaits for the two of you to feast on, placing them on the counter in front of you
>"They look delicious!"
>"Thanks! Just because I've hired others to cook and make food at the parlor doesn't mean I still can't make some myself! Eat up!"
>You and Derpy lean over on your stools and begin chowing down on the parfaits
>After swallowing your current spoonful, a thought forms on your lips
"So, you have any other family, or are you and Joubin the only ones here? It seems awfully big for two people."
>"Yes, but most of them are out for the day. Daiya should still be here though."
>"Miss Derpy?"
>Looking over to Derpy, you spot Joubin tapping her shoulder
>"Hey Joubin. Did you need something?"
>"Yeah, I was wondering if there was anything else you had on you when you.. well..."
>"Well, we WERE going to school, so we had our backpacks with us."
>Joubin slips behind the counter to his father's side
"Perhaps they're still buried near the Wall Eyes?"
>"He's got a point. Maybe there's something inside that'll help sort this all out."
"Good idea! I'll come with!"
>"I'll be fine Care. You just enjoy your parfait. After all the stuff you've been through at school, you deserve a break."
>Yup, nice quiet lunch with Derpy, gone
>Well, maybe the rest of your lunch will be quiet
>Not with your luck
>"We'll be right back. Ms Derpy, if you would."
>Derpy gets off her stool at the counter and joins Joubin out the door
>With that, you go back to your parfait
>Fuck, this is good
>"Something feels off."
>You look up to find Norisuke looking through his pants pockets
>"Where'd my phone go?"

>With Derpy, you arrive back at the Wall Eyes, her being ahead of you
>"So, Joubin, what say we start digging around?"
"Sure."
>You summon up Speed King and approach her from behind
"How about we start-"
>You use Speed King to heat up and pop a vein in Derpy's head, causing her to pass out
"Here."
>Now with her out of the picture...
>You take out your dad's phone from your pocket (you actually feel kind of dirty for doing that but you had to contact Jousuke SOMEHOW) and text Jousuke
'Jousuke, urgent help needed. Come back home IMMEDIATELY.'
>Aaaand send
>You grab a twig from a nearby tree
>And now, it's up to Tsurugi

>Alright, back home
>Norisuke said he needed help!
>Might be another Rokakaka smuggler
>Where, though?
>A snapping noise from the Wall Eyes draws your attention
>You run there with all your might
>Out on the ground, a man in what seems to be a bodysuit and shorts leers over-
『Norisuke!』
>He really was calling for help!
>You watch and he seems to have a tornado protruding from his mouth!
>That must be the enemy's Stand!
>With gusto, you speed your way over to the enemy Stand user and use Soft and Wet to SLAM him to the ground
>The mysterious man shatters into rock
>Another Rock Human...
>As you get up, you notice the spot where Norisuke was occupied by naught but a rock
>The fuck-?
>"DEEEERRRRRRRPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"

>You finally finish lunch off with a burp
>Damn, Norisuke can make a good parfait
>"So?"
"Joubin talked about having a bunch of tourists visit your parlor. I can see why."
>"Oh please, it's nothing."
>"Care?"
>Joubin sticks his head into the door frame leading outside
>"Could you come out here for a second?"
"Sure, gimme a sec."
>You turn to Norisuke
"I'll be right back."
>Norisuke nods and you leap off the stool, walking out of the door
>As you step into the driveway, you find that Joubin isn't outside
>Where the hell did he go?
>『Norisuke!』
>A loud voice catches your ears
>You quickly run your way over to the Wall Eyes
>As you finally arrive, you spot Derpy cowering on her knees!
>FUCK!
>Running as fast as you can to Der-
>SLAM!
>She falls down as a Stand's fist is driven into her head, causing her to fall-
>And for her neck to snap on the boulder behind her!
>Her body falls limp, and she rolls onto her side
>No
>Derpy!
"DEEEERRRRRRRPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
>『What in the-』
>The fuck with the Stand turns to you, finally noticing your presence
>Oh, he's gonna notice something alright
>You pull up all of the moments you can use
>Back to big moments, from before Derpy jumped into your life
>There's you, getting your Nobel Prize
>Fueled by anger, you suck that moment right up
>Alright Popeye the Sailor Bitch, let's do this!

THE BLESSED GESTALT VS THE CURSED GENIUS
OOOPEN THE GAAAAAAAAAAME!

『Who the hell are you?』
>"「TIMBUK THREE!」"
>The unknown kid doesn't answer as his Stand appears above him and fires a blast of light at you
>You dodge as best you can, but the light grazes your arm
>With a push from your Stand, you speed yourself towards the kid
>If it can attack from so far away-
>You raise Soft and Wet's fist
>-then it's gotta be weak up-close!
>With a swing towards his head in an attempt to end the fight quickly, you bring your fist down-
>-on a shining red shield
>A swing to the left, to his ribs-
>-Blocked
>Another stike-
>-on a shield
>Every attack is blocked, no matter where and how fast you strike
>Damn!
>You jump back
>As you land, you summon up a bubble in front of you
>As predicted, the kid fires another laser
>The bubble captures the laser

>The hell?!
>The bubble just CAUGHT THE LASER!
>『The fuck is your problem, kid?!』
>So he can make bubbles that 'take' things?
>Alright then
>You ready another blast
>So he can take things huh?
>You aim your wrist at him-
>Try and take this!
>-And fire into the ground!

>You stand perfectly still
>He just fired into the ground
>You don't just DO that
>He's planning something
>But what?
>After a minute of just silently standing, you decide to do something risky
>You have to get that bubble
>So you jump forward with your Stand again, feinting like you're going for a direct blow
>You're able to grab the bubble, as you run str-
>BZZAP!
>A laser coming from behind flies directly into your shouler!
>You're unable to keep yourself up as the pain of the burn brings you to your knees
>The shot came from behind!
>Looking behind you, you see an extra hole in the Wall Eyes
>So THAT's where-
>You are unable to finish the thought as the mystery kid brings his foot down on your back
>"HOW-"
>And he does so again, repeating with each syllable
>"-DO-YOU-LIKE-IT-YOU-FRUITY-SAILOR-FU-"
>With that last kick, you grab the leg with Soft and Wet
>He is unable to escape its grasp
>Seems he gets the same idea and summons up his Stand
>He tries to kick your Stand in with his, but to no avail
>A punch from yours is enough to hear a snapping sound
>『So I was right!』
>With that, you lift his legs
>『It may be powerful from afar...』
>You then throw them into the air
>『But it's pitiful up close!』
>He falls onto his back with a wheeze, giving you enough time to get up and jump on him, making sure to pin his arms down so he can't shoot you
>『Can't blast me with your lasers now, can ya?』
>"I'll admit, I don't speak Japanese..."
>So he speaks
>But it's not in Japanese
>"But I'm guessing you said 'Can't blast me with your lasers now, huh?'"
>You're not sure what he said, but that grin doesn't seem good
>"Well guess what, buddy?"
>The chest lights up
>Shit
>BZOOOOOM!

>With a hard-light fist, you lift him into the air and send him flying
>You can hear a wheeze as he finally lands on the ground
>You do your best to get up onto your feet
>With all the time it takes to get stable, you find that he's gone
>Shiiiit
>However, a small sailor's cap sits just above the boulder that-
>Hold up
>Where's Derpy?
>Her body's gone, now replaced with but a bunch of rocks and pebbles
>However, his hat brings your fighting spirit back
>You'll find Derpy in a second
>For now...
>You, in your best efforts, silently slink over to the boulder
>How much charge left?
>You check
>Barely enough for a single shot
>It'll do
>However, you decide to check for any mome-
>You can't
>What?
>Nothing's coming up as you turn to blast that Topper Bottoms son of a bitch
>Why is-
>*POP*
>*ZAP!*
>...
>...
>Oh
>You check your neck and find a hole where your throat was supposed to be
>That's why
>With your last thought, you wonder where Derpy's body went
>Everything begins to get dark as you collapse

>Well
>...that's all done and done
>You are left with a question though
>Who the fuck was that?
WINNER=HIGASHIKATA JOUSUKE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfhqaxhqQvI
>*bzzt bzzt*
>Uhp! Phone!
>You open it
>A message from Yasuho
>『Hey Jousuke! Have you seen someone named Care Root?』
>Care Root?
『Don't think I know anyone by that name, no.』
>『Well, some kid has been hanging around the Higashikata Estate asking for him. Even Norisuke is looking worried.』
『What's he look like?』
>『Well he's got kind of a bowl cut』
>That sounds famili-
>Oh
>『Wears a white button up shirt with blue jeans』
>Oh fuck
>『Has a red bowtie』
>FUCK
>『The girl looking for him says her name is Derpy』
>FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUC
<=====TO=BE=CONTINUED=====