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- >The smell of your room was unnaturally pure today
- >This was thanks to you having cleaned it all just a few short hours ago
- >It looked nice, unlike it’s usual state of utter disorder
- >Only one thing felt out of place, but you couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of it
- >Call it a small memento, if you will
- >Besides, it was rude to get rid of old photographs
- >It was nicely lit, the window being open and letting in soft rays of golden sunlight
- >The beams landed in random shapes of warm heat on the prim carpet
- >Outside, some cars passed by, probably busy with their own days
- >You adjust a silk red tie and look yourself in the mirror
- >Checking each little detail of your body, you scan for anything out of place
- >Today was the big day after all
- >Taking a deep breath, you run the comb through your smooth hair one last time
- >It was an old suit, so it’s fit was slightly off
- >Aside from that, the open window was letting in a large amount of summer heat
- >You pull at your cuffs as you feel a small bead of sweat
- >Shrugging it off, you head back inside of your living room
- >Or other room, rather
- >You apartment was beyond small, having only a bathroom and small kitchen/living space
- >Even the couch turned into a bed to save space
- >Heading to the window, you look out over the streets
- >Some children were foolishly playing a game of some makeshift sport in the street
- >A mother’s voice could be heard calling out for them to come inside
- >Turning back inside, you take a final breath and then step up
- >Everything was going just as you had hoped it would
- >Better even
- >So well, you allowed yourself to bask a little before leaving
- > “Hello, I came to-” Twilight’s voice rang from the open door
- >And with that, your world shifted from it’s romantic view into a pure sensory data
- >Your heart beated inside your chest at a slow pace
- >Despite this, your lungs had stopped for a small moment as you swallowed hard
- >A bead of sweat rolls down your back, tickling you as it rolls down
- >It’s taunts to be scratched went unheard
- >The smell of the fresh air still permeated the room from the open window
- >A faint smell of smog could be detected as a small procession of cars passed by
- >The children had stopped playing by now, or at least had stopped making noise
- >Oddly enough, the room which had once seemed so dreary as to be unmistakable melted away
- >The dull browns were swept away by a current of purple, even though your eyes were wide in shock
- >But these minute feelings became background noise as reality forced it’s way into your head
- >Two things stood out to you in the end
- >The first was Twilight’s bright eyes being lit up with fear and her mouth dropping
- >You couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes for very long, same as it had been since the love of your life left you
- >Second was the rope’s slightly itching texture on your exposed neck
- > “See you...” She finished after a pause
- “H-hello Twilight” You reply quietly while silently cursing your stutter
- >She hates that pathetic stutter of yours, remember?
- >Ah, the little voice of condescension that had come out the night before she left you
- >Can’t think about her right now though
- > “I...do you want to talk?” She offers, repeatedly looking up at the rope
- >You felt slightly violated from her staring, like a woman caught changing
- >What was once just a rope had become something intimate and private for you
- >This rope was fairly important, to say the least
- >Staring down at her silently, you found that no words would come to your throat
- >Your heart sped up
- > “It’s okay, just...just please step down” She says, taking a step forward
- >Reflexively, you take a step back and hear the chair creak
- >You had bought this small little chair to fix a lightbulb in your room 3 years ago
- >For some odd reason, you felt like the chair and you had bonded over that time
- >A small joke you always told yourself was that the chair might be your best friend in the world
- >It always held you up, was always there for you, didn’t care if only you talked to it, never told you not to drink...
- >The joke became more like wracking sobs after that, but it would raise your feelings in passing
- >But now, the chair was helping you to leave this world, like any good friend should
- >Aside from Twilight, who apparently had the gall to keep you alive
- >How rude
- “S-stay back...” You stutter out as a whisper
- >More stutters, more pathetic little annoyances
- > “What? I can’t hear you from here” She says before moving closer
- “S-stay back!” You shout, momentarily losing your footing before rebalancing
- >She lifts her hands up diplomatically, gesturing that she would stop
- > “Okay...just take it easy, alright? Don’t do anything hasty now”
- >Hasty
- >Did she think this was a spur of the moment thing?
- >You felt indignant to her to the point of tears
- >At least, that’s how you would defend yourself incase you started crying again
- >Pussy
- >Both of you went quiet and she set her purse down on your freshly cleaned counter
- >The detached part of your mind hoped she wouldn’t dirty it
- >Like she gives a fuck about your pathetic obsession with a clean counter
- “S-shut up, okay?” You say, to both the voice and Twilight
- >Hearing the words come out felt surreal
- >Why were you being so mean to Twilight?
- >Wasn’t she a friend of yours?
- >A friend doesn’t tell you that when the love of your life leaves you that she was “sorry”
- >Who cares if you shut her out after that?
- >The messages stopped coming after I didn’t answer any for the first week
- >You hated Twilight, but also didn’t
- > “I don’t need to talk, I can just listen if you want to” She offers you, fear still clear on her face
- >Why was she feeling fear?
- >Not like she was the one about to kill herself
- >Maybe she was scared of having to deal with everything after you die
- >No, Twilight would actually grieve us, right?
- >Stop talking to yourself, stop it
- >She keeps staring at you with those big, watery eyes
- >In fact, they were so watery you felt your eyes might get watery too
- >Something kept you from looking her directly in the eyes though
- >The light that radiated in Twilight's eyes, resembled the light in the love of your life's eyes
- >You squeeze your lip and clench your teeth tight to avoid crying in front of her
- >Crying wasn’t going to save you
- >Drinking didn’t, so why would crying?
- > “Please, just...just get down from there and we can talk...alright?” She held out her hand
- >At first, you pull away from the hand
- >Had Twilight hurt you?
- >Recoiling away was just another sign of cowardice
- >You weren’t a coward anymore, you were going to do something
- >Her hand is still there
- >The ball was rolling, no more hiding and weeping
- >Still waiting there, ready for you when you were
- >No more fear, no more sadness
- >No more anything
- > “Please...” She pleads with you
- >Those eyes stare you down and tell you, no, beg you to come down
- >It was too high up here, you suddenly felt very dizzy
- >You squeeze your lips together, hoping it will keep the tears at bay a little longer
- >Crying in front of a girl over something as pathetic as this was just too much
- >Slipping the noose from your neck you take Twilight’s hand as she guides you to the couch
- >Taking a seat, you vacantly stare forward, regretting every second your heart still beat
- > “I’ll go...make us some tea” She awkwardly offers
- >Despite saying this, she stood in front of you for a few seconds more before placing a hand on your shoulder
- > “It’s alright...everything’s alright now” She says, rubbing your shoulder
- >The world was silent, even though you’d heard Twilight’s words clearly
- >Those splotches of sunlight looked more grey than gold now, same with everything else
- >Everything but Twilight and her eyes of course
- >When she stepped past you to the kitchen side of the room, the world was encased in grey
- >A thought sprang into your mind
- >What if this was all it would be from now on?
- >Just grey infinity with Twilight always being just close enough to be reminded she existed
- >Not that you would even want her and her psychological bullshit
- >Stepping down was a trick
- >She was probably mocking you even now
- >Twilight steps back into your view, making you look up to her eyes
- > “You, uh, don’t have any drinks. Or anything in your fridge, for that matter” She reminds you, rubbing her arm nervously
- “I d-donated it all last night since I w-wouldn’t...wouldn’t...” You try to tell her but find something catching in your throat
- > “It’s okay, just breathe, relax...” She told you, quickly taking a seat next to you
- >You follow the instructions, even if you did find them stupid
- >Taking several slow breaths, you find yourself starting to shudder and a deep frown comes over your face
- >God dammit, not now, you can’t start crying again now
- >She already saw you about to off yourself, and now you want to cry too?
- > “It’s alright, let it out...” She coos, as she starts to rub your back
- >Angrily, you slam a balled up fist onto your left thigh, making the spot sing in pain
- >Her hand leaps away from you in fear
- “It’s NOT okay!” You growl at her through grit teeth
- >A snarl comes over you, ready to begin shouting at her, letting out all of your anger
- >Maybe even hit her for daring to stop you
- >But that all melts away when you see her face
- >Your anger tries to resist and show itself regardless of the tears welling up in her eyes
- “Y-you keep feeding me t-this bullshit -and...and I’m...” You try to tell her before you start crying too
- >Fucking tears
- >Fucking apartment
- >Fuck everything and anything
- “I’m s-sorry Twilight, I just--” You try to respond between sobs
- > “It’s okay, I know you’re hurt and you want to lash out” She tells you
- >Why did she have to be so nice?
- >Back when it was just this apartment and that street, everything was dark
- >Killing yourself in that world was a no brainer
- >But now Twilight was here and you were just a huge fuck up like always
- > “Just know that I’m here for you, alright?” She says placing a hand back onto your shoulder
- >You look back at her and for the first time since she opened the door, you see her smile
- >Something tells you to run away
- >Another thing tells you to never move again
- >Twilight then pulls you into an awkward hug on the couch
- >She was wearing a nice t-shirt, so you felt bad about getting tears on it
- >The hug felt warm, warmer than the sunbeams on the carpet even
- >As she held you, you felt the world regain it’s color
- >For as long as Twilight was here for you would be alright
- >Twilight softly shushes into your ear and gently rocks back
- >You pull away after a while, wiping away the tears and even managing a smile
- “Twilight, i-if you hadn’t-” You start to say in a whisper
- > “You don’t need to tell me. Just...promise me something, okay?” She says, placing a hand over yours
- >You look into her eyes as the smile becomes replaced with a serious look
- “Anything” You say, unafraid of what she might ask
- > “Promise not to scare me like that ever again...okay?” She says, smiling again
- >Even though she was smiling, tears started to rise in her eyes again
- “I won’t i-if you do something for me” You say, placing a hand over hers
- > “What is it?”
- “Stay with me for a little while longer?” You say, starting to choke up again
- > “Of course I will” She says, bringing you into another embrace
- >She holds you in a hug for what feels like an eternity
- >The rope swings lazily above both of your head all the while, having lost it's dark appearance
- >You close your eyes and just listen to the world going by
- >Had you ended it all, this wouldn't have happened, and no voice could say that it was a good idea now
- >So, just as one girl leaving brought them in, the voices left as someone else came in
- >All of your problems were still there
- >Killing yourself wouldn’t have solved your problems, just escaped them
- >Pushed them onto people like Twilight
- >But at least now there was someone who cared about you, even if it would only be this one moment
- >After all, what more could you ask for?
- THE END
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