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- >Another day, another bit.
- >You crawled out of bed, stretching your legs for days and your firm, round ass.
- >Sometimes it felt good to be you.
- >You walked over to your mirror and grabbed a bow.
- >You did your hair up into a small ponytail, reaching down to the base of your neck.
- "Time to wake the jolly green giant up."
- >You walked over to your big brother's room.
- "Hey ponyboy, time to wake the fuck up."
- >He turned over in his bed.
- >"Mmm, hey Femmy, how's it going?"
- "I need to get dressed and go help Rarity."
- >"Forgetting to eat? Come on now."
- "Not that anybody could tell you eat. Like, at all."
- >"Hey, that's what you get when you hang out with Pinkie."
- "Rares said she was going to make me some breakfast."
- >"Well, maybe you'll get to first base. Maybe."
- >You punch his arm.
- "Man shut up, I'm pretty sure she's straight as a board. Besides, I don't see you getting any horsepussy."
- >He yawns and stretches, "I'm just giving you a hard time sis."
- >You give him a hug.
- "I know, that's why I love you Nonny."
- >You could see his face scrunch at his childhood nickname before easing up.
- >"Only you get to call me that... and Pinkie."
- "Careful friend, sounds like you're sweet on her."
- >You realize you just made a pun.
- "Goddammit, you're rubbing off on me now."
- >He pats your shoulder, "What are siblings for?"
- >You throw on a floral-print shirt and some skinny jeans.
- "I'll see you around Anon!"
- >He'd grabbed a bottle of milk and ran out the door towards Pinkie's.
- >"Yeah that's nice see you later!"
- >He might just get laid yet, but that wasn't your concern right now.
- >Had to get to Rarity's.
- >You stood in front of the beautiful Carousel Boutique.
- >She might not be your type, but she sure knew how to make things look good.
- >You gave the door a knock.
- >"Just a minute!"
- >The clip-clop of hooves approached you.
- >The door opened to reveal your favorite marshmallow fashionista.
- "Hey there Rarity, how's it going?"
- >You stepped inside and took a seat in one of her chairs.
- >"Marvelous darling, now if you could take your clothes off we can get started."
- >You grin, she walked herself into this one.
- "Wow Rares, you could at least take me out to dinner first."
- >She blushed, "Oh, ahaha, of course dear. I should have phrased that better."
- >You shrug and take off your shirt and pants.
- "Sorry, couldn't resist, I had to make the joke."
- >"It's quite alright dear... so, how's your little Nonny doing?"
- >You step onto her podium and let her begin.
- "I guess he's doing okay, hanging out with Pinkie as usual."
- >"Mhm..."
- >She wraps the tape all around your body.
- >"Nice hips, amazing posterior, you have wonderful legs..."
- "You're pausing."
- >"I was just expecting larger... mammaries."
- "They're C-cups, take 'em or leave 'em."
- >This is what happens when you work with models and stars. The average doesn't seem average anymore.
- >Hey wait a minute, where was your breakfast?
- "I think you got a little caught up in your work, you didn't even feed me princess."
- >She blushes, "Oh my, I did forget about that didn't I? I'm so terribly sorry Femanon."
- >You throw your clothes back on and walk into her kitchen.
- >"Perhaps now we can discuss your relationship?"
- >Oh no this was gonna get really awkward really fast.
- >It didn't take her long to fix a couple of fruit salads for the two of you to eat.
- >You were hoping to delay the inevitable.
- >"How are you lovebirds doing?"
- >You put on a smile.
- "Whatever do you mean Rarity?"
- >You were screaming internally.
- >She giggles, "Oh don't be coy with me darling, you know exactly who I'm talking about!"
- >Yes, and that is why this is so uncomfortable.
- "You wouldn't happen to be talking about Anon, would you?"
- >"Please, it's obvious you two love each other."
- >Not in the way you're thinking.
- >You sit your cup of tea down and stop eating for a moment.
- "Darling, can I ask you something?"
- >"Of course dear, ask away!"
- "Do you love Sweetie Belle?"
- >"What sort of question is that? Of course I love her, she's my sister!"
- "And Twilight loves Shining Armor, right?"
- >"There's no doubt about it, she looks up to her big brother!"
- "Mhm, well there's your answer."
- >The gears are visibly turning in her head.
- >You can tell she had the sudden realization by the look in her eyes.
- >"Oh my, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize he was your brother! Please forgive me, I know this must be awkward for you."
- >You take in a deep breath and sigh.
- "Don't worry about it, I'm just glad that's out of the way."
- >"Hehe, of course..."
- >She hesitated again.
- "Rarity? What did you do?"
- >"I might have gossiped to my friends a little..."
- >Damn it Rarity.
- "I think I'm just gonna go find Dash. I need something to take my mind off of this. Later Rarity."
- >"Goodbye darling, don't be a stranger!"
- >Right now you wish you were.
- >Be a model for female minotaur clothing, it'll be easy she said.
- >Things usually aren't that simple for you though.
- >You looked up to one of Dash's favorite napping spots.
- >Since nobody else was around, you decided to have a little fun.
- >You cupped your hands over your mouth.
- "Yo Rainbow Dyke! Get your lazy ass down here!"
- >She zipped down in front of you, "Hey you leave my love life out of this!"
- "Calm down, I think you've had more than just apple cider, if you catch my drift."
- >She blushes and stumbles to the ground, it was nice to catch her off guard for once.
- >"Sh-shut up. What do you care anyway?"
- "I dunno, I was hoping to get some advice on how to seduce mares."
- >She starts cracking up, "Yeah right, good one Fem!"
- "... Does this look like the face of someone who is joking to you?"
- >She sits up, staring at you.
- >"You're serious? We all thought... well, actually no. Pinkie didn't buy it for a second, but still."
- "Careful, that's my brother I live with."
- >"Oh... So, you're his Scootaloo?"
- "I'd say it's the other way around with how much trouble I save his ass from, but yeah, he's my big bro."
- >"Cool, so what do you want to know?"
- "Just gimme some names to work with."
- >She thinks for a moment, "Well for starters, there's Berry Punch if you want a drinking buddy."
- "Not my scene, go on."
- >"There's also Cherry Berry if you want somepony serious."
- "I prefer being the smartass, any others?"
- >"Well... There is Derpy Hooves. She's pretty clumsy but she's a sweet girl."
- "Anything else you can tell me about her?"
- >"You can find her at Sugarcube Corner, she gets breakfast muffins."
- "What else?"
- >"Aside from her bubble butt and delivering the mail?"
- "Don't hold out on me, what's the catch?"
- >"Well, when I said she's clumsy it's partly because of her eyes."
- "Think I can still catch her?"
- >"She should be getting her muffin right now."
- "How do you-"
- >"Childhood friends. Element of Loyalty."
- >Right. Of course.
- >You made your way to Sugarcube Corner.
- >"Come on Pinkie, if we hurry we might be able to get some more flour before they notice!"
- >"Onward my valiant steed!"
- >The sight of Anon carrying Pinkie on his back, desperately running towards the morning market was kinda funny.
- >But mostly worrying, oh well. Not your problem right now.
- >He's a big boy, he can take care of himself.
- >Maybe.
- >You opened the doors and scanned the area for Derpy.
- >You spotted a grey mare, with bubbles for a Cutie Mark.
- >... Damn it Dash, that was a terrible joke.
- >She was eating a muffin, you figured this was your girl.
- >You tried being as nonchalant as possible when you walked up to her and took a seat.
- >You thought she looked familiar, she delivers your mail.
- >She looked up at you and smiled, her eyes somehow only making her look even more precious.
- >"Hi there Miss Femanon! How's your morning been?"
- >You couldn't help but smile with her, the happiness was contagious.
- "I've had better mornings, but I feel better now that I'm sitting with you, Miss... uh."
- >No way was Derpy her actual name.
- >"Ditzy Doo! But my friends call me Derpy Hooves. Or just Derpy. Sometimes they call me the muffin mare."
- "Well Derpy, it's a pleasure to actually talk to you for once."
- >She giggles, "It's okay, I'm just glad I could make you smile."
- >You weren't sure your heart could take this.
- >How can one mare be so cute?
- "So how's the blueberry muffin?"
- >"It's great! D'you like muffins too?"
- "I do prefer them to cupcakes."
- >"Yay! Maybe we can share a muffin sometime! Um, if that's okay with you I mean."
- >You looked into her eyes, as best you could at any rate.
- "I'd love to get to know you better Derpy."
- >She flapped her wings and gave you a hug, "Alright! I love making new friends!"
- >If this went well you'd be more than friends.
- >You returned the hug, she was so soft.
- >Anon and Pinkie came sneaking back in.
- >"Okay Nonny, we just gotta make sure they don't see the mess, then we just put the bags back and-"
- >"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKIE! ANON!"
- >"Fuck! Hold on tight Pinkie we are moving our asses outta here!"
- >Mrs. Cake ran out holding a rolling pin, "Don't you run from me Anon!"
- >"This is a colossal goatfuck!"
- >"Book it Nonny!"
- >"We're up against the wall, and she IS the fucking wall!"
- >"Angry chef, comin' through! Outta my way!"
- >"We probably should've cleaned up before going to the market!"
- >"Hindsight is 20/20 Pinks!"
- >You should probably go help your brother...
- >Nah.
- >He's got this.
- >You checked your watch.
- "I was gonna go shopping for groceries, wanna come with Derpy?"
- >She grinned, "Okay! I'm off work today anyway."
- "How do you get off from delivering mail?"
- >"Not my shift, come on let's go!"
- >You followed her out the door and to the market.
- "So what do you do for fun Derpy?"
- >"Well, when I'm not at work I enjoy sewing things together and making snacks."
- "Sounds like fun, didn't take you for a fashionista."
- >She blushes, "I'm really not, but my little sister sometimes rips things up."
- "Clumsy kid?"
- >She smiles, "Takes after me I guess. I think she's gonna be successful someday though."
- >You gave her a pat on the head.
- "If she's as nice as you are, she'll be just fine."
- >"Thanks, I try my best not to upset anypony but sometimes things just go wrong and I don't know why."
- >For the first time since you met her, she stopped smiling.
- "Come on now, don't get sad on me, you ever need to talk to anyone just find me. I'm not hard to spot."
- >That got her to smile again, "Thanks Femmyyynon."
- "What was that?"
- >"Femanon, your name. Thank you."
- >You weren't gonna call her out on it, you couldn't if you wanted to.
- >She could call you by nickname when she was ready.
- >"So what do you do Fem?"
- "When Rarity has no more work left for me, I usually just go hang out around town."
- >"You help her make clothes?"
- "Pffthahaha, no. I do modelling work for her and sometimes babysit Sweetie Belle."
- >"Must be hard work, babysitting Sweetie Belle. I've seen what the Cutie Mark Crusaders can do."
- >She giggles, "Almost as bad as me when I get careless."
- "Not really, she's much easier to handle than Anon is."
- >That got both of you to laugh.
- >"You must really like him."
- "Course I do, he's my big brother."
- >Her ears perked up at that, "O-oh, that's nice. I know how it feels, well, I know how being a big sister feels like. Yeah."
- >She was adorably awkward, but that's okay.
- >Seemed to have gained more of a spring in her step though.
- >Calm down, you're just hoping she's into you.
- >Maybe she's just happy that you have a sibling as well.
- >The two of you walked in silence for a while.
- >"... Your mane is really pretty."
- "Oh, you mean my hair? Thank you, I know it's not very long but I like it this way."
- >"I think it's super cute that way, maybe you could show me how you get it to look so nice?"
- "I don't really have any secrets, but I could always help you do yours."
- >You lean in to whisper in her ear.
- "I'm not much of one for the girly stuff, but I can make a damn good ponytail."
- >You hadn't even noticed you'd finished getting groceries.
- "Uh, how long have we been talking?"
- >"I dunno, I just liked listening to your voice."
- >She blushes, "Uh, sorry you just have a really nice voice and-"
- >You calm her down.
- "Don't worry, I'm the last person to judge you. Trust me."
- >"Thanks... wait does that mean you'll judge me someday?"
- "N-no it's a figure of speech."
- >"Oh yeah... thanks."
- >She raises a good point though, last person to judge is still judging.
- >She's smarter than she appears, even if she is a little bit naive.
- >You stopped in front of your house.
- >Derpy opened the door for you.
- "Thanks... Wanna stop inside for something to eat? You did keep me company after all."
- >"I appreciate the offer but I have to go pick Dinky up from school, see you later?"
- "Like you even need to ask."
- >That got her beaming, "Alright, talk to you later Fem!"
- >Such a sweetheart.
- >How she was ever friends with somebody like Rainbow Dash, you'll never know.
- >... Wait a minute, she's friends with you, the resident smartass.
- >Mainly because she was too cute to get smart with.
- >Which says something about her when she's in pastel horse land.
- >You get all the groceries put up and go take a shower.
- >The water runs over your skin, warming you to the core.
- >You've always taken a shower/bath combo.
- >Turn the shower on and let it fill up.
- >You were just laying there, relaxing.
- >... You needed to relieve some stress, it'd been a while.
- >You started fingering and groping yourself.
- >Your panting and moaning was only turning you on even more.
- >Goddammit.
- >And all you could think of was Derpy, but you didn't want this to get awkward.
- >Fuck it, Rarity was hot and you didn't really care.
- >She'd already made it awkward, this was her payback.
- >After ten minutes the pressure started getting to you.
- >You lasted five more before giving into the sweet release.
- >Your juices mixed with the bathwater.
- "Awhaha yeaaah. That was a good fap."
- >Best part is you didn't even have to clean up, you were already wet.
- >And in the bathtub.
- >You cupped your hands and drank some of the bathwater.
- >Tasted tangy, like a fruit.
- >You wondered if Anon ever did anything like this.
- >Probably did, the weirdo.
- >Not that you're any better.
- >You just took in the afterglow of your fap session for a while before drying off.
- >Running those silky smooth towels over every inch of your skin.
- >Would you fuck yourself? Yeah, you would.
- >You were lounging around the house.
- >Well shit, nothing to do now.
- >Anon and Pinkie barged into the house and barricaded the door.
- >"Okay, we're safe now."
- >"Yeah... oh hey Femmy!"
- "Sup Pinks?"
- >"Oh y'know, Mrs. Cake is kinda mad."
- >"OPEN THIS DOOR!"
- >They leaned up against the door.
- "Lay off of them, they're a couple of kids."
- >"N-no we aren't."
- "Yes, you are. How did you even waste that much flour?"
- >"Uh... Um, fun times?"
- "I don't even wanna know what that means."
- >"We should've picked up more syrup while we were at the market."
- "Okay no you're stopping this right now."
- >You opened the door and gave Mrs. Cake a hug.
- "Calm down, they got you some flour, and Anon is going to help you clean up everything."
- >"He is?"
- >"I am?"
- "Yes, go. Now."
- >He sunk his head, "Oh okay. C'mon Pinks."
- >"Yeah! Gonna clean up that place real good!"
- >Just as you were getting ready to sit back down someone else knocked on your door.
- "Oh for fuck's sake Anon, you can't be serio-"
- >Oh it's the CMC.
- >"Howdy Femanon! We were wondering if you wanted to come hang out with us!"
- >"Yeah, it'd be awesome if you came with."
- >"... I really like your mane?"
- >They stared at Sweetie Belle.
- >"What? It's nice."
- >You stoop down and pat her head.
- "Thanks kid, I got nothing better to do so I guess I'll go with you guys."
- >You walked with them to wherever they were going.
- "So what crusade are you going on this time?"
- >"None, we were just gonna hang out at the arcade."
- "You guys have arcades?!"
- >"Uh, yeah? Why wouldn't we?"
- >Apple Bloom looked at you like you were crazy.
- >Maybe you were, but that's not the point.
- "That's actually pretty awesome."
- >You were giddy the entire way there.
- >You saw a little unicorn who looked like she was waiting for someone standing in front of the arcade.
- >"Hey there! We're here!"
- >She brightened up at the sight of the CMC.
- >"Hey guys!... Oh, you must be the nice lady my sister was talking about. My name is Dinky Doo!"
- >Oh this was just too precious.
- >You gave her a hug.
- "Oh my gosh you are so cute."
- >You couldn't help yourself, she just had the cutest little mane and her eyes were adorable.
- "Okay c'mon now let's play some video games. I'll find us a fighting game. Uh, you guys have those, right?"
- >"You mean like Skullmares?"
- >Oh this was gonna be good.
- >Sweetie Belle went down no problem.
- >Apple Bloom gave you a little more trouble.
- >Dinky was surprisingly good at the game.
- >Scootaloo gave you a good fight but went down all the same.
- >You were the Queen of the Arcade.
- >"A new challenger approaches."
- >Who was that?
- >You looked around.
- >"I am the final boss."
- "Uh, where are you?"
- >"Ah, um I'm down here."
- >You looked down and saw a colt with a propeller hat.
- "Who are you, little guy?"
- >"My name is Button Mash, and I see you are pretty good at games."
- >With a name like that he should be no problem, right?
- "Alright, I'll take you on."
- >The match started up.
- >The first round went by uneventfully.
- >But he was grinning at the start of the second.
- >"I should mention, Button Mash is just a nickname."
- "What's your actual name?"
- >"... High Score."
- >He suddenly started kicking your ass.
- >This was not good, you were barely holding your own.
- >You decided to spend this time studying his playstyle.
- >Maybe you could come back in the final round.
- >He was very aggressive, very good at combos, and he didn't leave a lot of room to counter-attack.
- >You weren't gonna beat him on his own turf, but maybe he had some other weakness.
- >If he did, you couldn't tell.
- >The final round came and you gave it your all.
- >It was intense, and the two of you were down to your last legs.
- >He was getting ready for a super.
- >"Good game, you weren't half-bad."
- >He left himself open, that's all you needed to counter him.
- >His hubris got the best of him.
- >You hit him with your own super, one he didn't survive.
- >You grinned.
- "Good game, you were pretty good yourself."
- >He stared at the screen, dumbfounded.
- >"You're awesome dude. We need to play together more often. What's your name?"
- "Femanon, but you can call me Fem."
- >"Alright Fem, you just got yourself a gaming partner."
- >You saw the CMC off, and Button clung to your back.
- >You decided to take Dinky home.
- >"So how did you get so good at games?"
- "I dunno, why do you prefer to go by your nickname?"
- >"Because calling me High sounds weird, and calling me Score implies I'm getting laid."
- "... You're alright kid. Not sure if I wanna know how you know what getting laid means though."
- >"Please, just because it's in video games doesn't mean I do it."
- "So you wanna stay a virgin?"
- >He blushes, "You know what I meant."
- >Alright, enough messing with him.
- "I was just kidding, you're cute when you're flustered. I bet you get all the fillies."
- >"I do not... not like I want their cooties anyway."
- "You could say it's a... Cootie Mark?"
- >Dinky and Button stare at you.
- "I blame my brother."
- >Speaking of which, he's right there.
- >With Pinkie bouncing alongside him.
- >"That was hard work, but we kinda had it coming."
- >"I didn't even know you had such a nice butt Nonny!"
- >"You ain't half bad yourself, Pinks."
- >"We were both staring, weren't we?"
- >"Oh yeah, I guess good butts run in the family though."
- >"Now that you mention it, I guess it does in mine as well."
- >They both stood there in deep thought.
- >Then they laughed it off.
- "Sorry to butt in on you two lovebirds..."
- >Pinkie giggled, "She said butt."
- >Anon smirked, "Indeed she did. How's it going sis? Jeez, two kids already? You got busy. How does that even work?"
- >Damn it, now you're blushing.
- "Whatever, I just wanted you to know that if I don't come back I'm probably at Derpy's."
- >"Got it. What about that little guy on your back?"
- "I've got a sidekick now."
- >Anon gasped, "And what of me? Was I not good enough?"
- "You're more like the team mascot."
- >"Ouch, that hurts. I guess it's true though. I'm not one for action."
- "Unless you're pissed off."
- >Button hops off your back, "Oh yeah, I should get going too. See you later Fem!"
- >With that, you let Dinky ride on your back the rest of the way.
- >"So, do you like my sis?"
- >Oh shit this is a minefield.
- "Uh, yes?"
- >She leans in and whispers, "No, I mean like, LIKE like her?"
- >This was precious but awkward.
- "... Maybe. What's it to you?"
- >She let out a little squee, "Cool! Maybe I'll have another big sister!"
- >You paused for a moment.
- >Giving her a pat on the head, you lift her off your back and give her a hug.
- "Sure, I'd love to be your big sister."
- >She had sparkles in her eyes, kinda weird but you got used to it.
- >Ponies have very shiny eyes for some reason.
- >She nuzzled your chest, "Yay!"
- >It was the little things.
- >"Oh! There's my house! C'mon!"
- >She'd started pulling at your arm.
- "Hehe alright, alright."
- >You knocked on the door.
- >You and Dinky greeted Derpy with a smile.
- >"Oh hey you guys, I take it the arcade went well?"
- >"Yeah! Fem totally stomped us, she even beat Button!"
- "Aw come on, now you're just flattering me."
- >"She even told me how much she likes you!... Oops."
- >You and Derpy were both blushing, "W-well you can come in if you want?"
- "S-sure."
- >You just hoped you didn't screw this up like you usually do.
- >Dinky ran upstairs to her room, "I'll let you two... uh, what was it you said? Lovebirds? Yeah that, good luck
- Femanon!"
- >Thanks kid. You'd need it.
- >Derpy tapped her hooves, "You... like me?"
- "That's putting it a bit lightly, but yes."
- >She blushed, "Gosh, nopony has ever told me that before. I mean, not like you mean. Plenty of ponies like me, and
- some of them love me, but none of them love me... like that."
- "We could see where this goes, what could go wrong?"
- >"A lot... but you know what? I like it that way, my life has been full of trouble and clumsiness, but my bubbly
- attitude usually pulls through!"
- >She'd clearly put a lot of thought into how she would handle this.
- >You gave her a smile and put your hand on her hoof.
- "Thanks bright-eyes."
- >"Bright-eyes?"
- "You have really pretty eyes."
- >She played with her mane, "T-thanks."
- "Well, I should probably get going, I'll see you tomorrow?"
- >She smiles, "Yeah, can't wait."
- >As you made your way back to your house, you gave yourself a mental high-five.
- >Fist pumps, fist bumps, the works.
- >You finally got a girlfriend!
- >Now you had to make sure not to screw this up.
- >You stepped inside the house.
- >"C'MON NONNY, PUT YOUR DOUGH IN THE OVEN! I DON'T LET JUST ANYPONY BAKE FOR ME!"
- >They both love puns, they weren't actually fucking.
- >You entered the kitchen.
- >It was empty.
- >Nope.
- >You ran back out the door, making sure to lock it.
- >Then you booked it back to Derpy's.
- >"Those are some nice cookies Nonny!"
- >"Yeah, good thing you brought your portable oven over!"
- >"Soooo, that bed over there looks super comfy."
- >"It'd look even comfier with you in it."
- >"Take me now, my fool."
- "Hey Derpy, guess you're seeing me now. My brother and Pinkie are having sex and I'd rather just sleep over here."
- >She blushed, "Oh... okay. Gosh, they're... doing it?"
- "Yep, at first I thought they were making puns in the kitchen, turns out they have some kinky foreplay."
- >"Oh... wanna sleep in my bed?"
- "A bit forward there, mi'lady."
- >You cringed, don't be a dumb dork. Even if Rarity would be into that shit.
- >She reads too many romance novels.
- >"I won't judge your choice of words if you won't judge mine."
- "Touche."
- >"I was just wondering if you wanted to cuddle, that's all."
- "Of course I would, who doesn't like cuddles?"
- >She gave you a tiny smile, "Thanks, I just got finished sewing Mr. Teddy back together for Dinky and was wanting a
- good snuggle myself."
- >As you were taking your pants off, you realized you were sleeping in her bed. With her.
- >You decided to leave your shirt on, since it was comfy enough to sleep in.
- >You sidled up next to her and gave her a kiss on the ear.
- >Her fur was so soft.
- >Her mane smelled wonderful as well.
- "Good night Derpy."
- >"Good night... Femmy."
- >You woke up snuggling her.
- >Aw yeah.
- >Anyway, time to get out of bed.
- >You stretched your legs.
- >Ponytail intact, that was one less thing you had to worry about this morning.
- >Gently shaking Derpy, you greet her with a smile.
- "Hey, thanks for letting me sleep over, I should probably get going though."
- >"You could always stay for breakfast."
- "I thought you just got a muffin at Sugarcube Corner?"
- >She shuffles around, "W-well I mean I could make you my special muffins."
- "Go on..."
- >Oh god these blueberry banana nut muffins are actually pretty good.
- >Goddamn how did she do this?
- >"Well, I should probably get to work."
- >The two of you walked out at the same time.
- >You turned to her and smiled.
- >Hesitating a little, you decided to give her a peck on the cheek.
- >She was blushing furiously, "Aw shucks, thanks Femmy."
- >Well that felt good.
- >Time to go see how Anon and Pinks were doing.
- >Making your way back to the house, you took a deep breath of fresh air.
- >Then you braced yourself.
- >You walked up to his room and nudged open the door.
- >Oh hey a portable oven, they actually were just baking up he-
- >... Then they went to bed and did buttstuff.
- >Goddammit.
- >You slowly closed the door and let them be.
- >Well, now what to do?
- >You headed over to Rarity's to see if she needed any work done.
- >You knocked on the door, not wanting to walk in uninvited.
- >The last thing you needed was Rarity pissed off at you for being rude.
- >The little marshmallow stuck her head out the doorway.
- >"I'm terribly sorry dear, but I'm afraid I'm working on something special and I can't let you in."
- "Oh, is it my birthday already? Sweet."
- >"Y-yes, that's it. I'm trying not to spoil the surprise for you, at any rate."
- "Alright then, don't let me stop you. I'll just go hang out with Twilight I guess."
- >"Yes, you do that darling."
- >You wondered if she was giving you something for helping her out or if someone requested something for you.
- >Eh, not worth worrying about, you'd find out when she was finished.
- >You still can't believe what an eyesore the new castle is.
- >You figured it wasn't THAT bad, but it did stick out quite a bit.
- >Like it would be more at home in the Crystal Empire.
- "Yo Twilight! You busy?"
- >The purple pony teleported in front of you.
- >"Ah, good morning Femanon! How may I help you this fine day?"
- "You're in an awfully good mood."
- >"Hehe, well I was hoping you'd let me take notes on human mating rituals."
- >Getting real sick of this shit.
- "He's my brother, Twilight. I'm not asking you to let me watch you have sex with Shining Armor, am I?"
- >Her ears flopped back and she bit her lip, "Oh, well we were completely wrong on that. Guess Pinkie was right
- again."
- "Sorry, I'm just getting a little tired of hearing it. First Rarity, then Rainbow Dash, now you. It got real old, real quick."
- >"I can understand why, anyway, I'm sure you'd love to come inside."
- >You weren't going to grab the low-hanging fruit she gave you.
- >Too easy.
- >Almost as easy as a drunk Canterlot hooker.
- >Not that you knew what that felt like.
- >If they were drunk, you were wasted.
- >"So, what sort of stallions are you interested in?"
- >Oh you were either gonna make her day or crush her dreams.
- "The mare kind."
- >She blushed, "O-oh, sorry, I didn't mean to assume."
- "It's fine, that's less offensive than the incest thing."
- >She shifts her eyes around, "To be honest I could use your advice on something. Come to my room with me?"
- >The bookworm needs help from you? This was a first.
- >You followed her to her bedchambers.
- >She laid down on her bed, and you sat next to her.
- >Tapping her hooves, she wasn't sure how to say what she needed to.
- "So... what is it that the great Twilight needs from me?"
- >She blushed, "That's just it. See there's this guardpony I like, but there's also a certain mare I like."
- "And you aren't sure whether to go for him or her."
- >She nods, "Tri- I mean, this mare used to be kind of awful. But now she's actually pretty cute."
- >She let slip more than she meant too, still, you wouldn't call her out on it.
- "Well, to be fair I'd probably go for the mare. Not just because I'm an ass destroyer, but also because the guards...
- Well..."
- >You scratched your head.
- "They have all the personality of a cardboard box. Maybe less, actually."
- >"I'm sure they aren't that bad off duty."
- "If you can't have fun with your job then how CAN you have fun?"
- >"They have to be constantly vigilant for threats."
- "You guys end up fixing everything anyway, it's not like they ever really do too much work."
- >"That's not true! They... uh... huh. Wow you're right."
- "I mean, I GUESS they stop petty crimes. But when have they ever done anything significant?"
- >"There were those guards that tried to attack Nightmare Moon."
- "See you need to recruit more badasses like that."
- >"Yeah, we really do, don't we?"
- "Anything else?"
- >"I think that was it."
- "Well I guess I'll be on my way then."
- >You gave her a pat on the head and a quick hug and headed out.
- >You had sunlight to burn, might as well go to the farm.
- >You were walking along the old, worn road when you ran into a certain blue unicorn.
- >"The Great and Powerful Trixie... ah, forgive me. I'm still getting a bit used to this nice thing."
- >You couldn't believe it.
- "Whoa, are you THE Trixie Lulamoon?! Dude your shows are awesome!"
- >"I... you like my shows?"
- "Of course, most of the other magicians here don't have the balls to embellish a little. Too afraid someone will call
- them out on it."
- >"But... I lied."
- "Of course you do, you're a showman!... Mare. Anyway, point is as long as you didn't lie off-stage it's all cool."
- >She fidgeted.
- "Oh you got way too into your act, didn't you?"
- >"Maybe just a teeny tiny bit, yes."
- "Eh, whatever. None of my business, you do good work."
- >"Thank you, I appreciate the compliment."
- "Oh by the way, you should go see Twilight. She wanted you for something."
- >You didn't call Twilight out on it, but you were sure as hell gonna have some fun with this.
- >"Oh? Did she say what for, by any chance?"
- "You didn't hear it from me, but I think she might have a crush on you."
- >She blushed, "Me? With a princess?"
- "Yeah, sure. Why not? Have fun doing whatever it is you do."
- >You gave her a wave of the hand as you walked off.
- >"SWEET PRINCESS PLOT, HERE I COME!"
- >All according to plan.
- >What plan?
- >The one where you get to have fun.
- >You might've just gotten Twilight laid.
- >Well, you'd better get to Sweet Apple Acres while there's still sunlight left.
- >You stepped up to one of the trees and borrowed an apple.
- >Not that you can really borrow food.
- >You wanted a snack, you'd pay AJ a few bits later.
- "Yo AJ, you there?"
- >"Yeah I'm here Fem, how's it going?"
- >You bit into the apple.
- "Oh y'know pretty good."
- >"... That was one of my apples, wasn't it?"
- "Maybe."
- >"Ah shoot, we got plenty of 'em this season. I don't think it'll hurt to let one go to somepony who needs it."
- "Thanks AJ, this is why I enjoy your company."
- >"Heh, did Rarity run you off? Dash too hard on you? Twilight too busy examining you?"
- "Something like that."
- >"Well shucks, I'm glad you stopped by to talk. It's nice to just stop and chat after a hard day of work."
- "Ugh I know, people keep asking about Anon and me. It's getting a little old."
- >"How are you two lovers doing anyhow?"
- >Something snapped inside of you.
- "OH COME ON! He's my fucking brother! We even LOOK related for fuck's sake! The hell dude?! I thought you'd be the
- last one to make incest jokes!"
- >They have to be jokes, your sanity required it.
- >AJ curled up on the ground, "Whoa nelly okay sugarcube calm down please."
- "Sorry, I'm sorry. I guess it's better I got that out now before Fluttershy said something. Since I have a feeling she will,
- for some odd reason."
- >"I know how you feel, you wouldn't believe how many ponies mistake me and Big Mac for a couple when we go on
- long trips."
- >She leans in and squints, "Or ponies that know the two of us. Buncha idiots."
- >You give her a hug.
- "I needed to vent, I feel bad for yelling at you now though."
- >"It's alright, sometimes you just gotta let it all out. I'm a big pony, I can handle it."
- "You should be glad you only had to deal with me."
- >"Why's that hun?"
- "You don't wanna see my brother when he's actually angry."
- >"I can't see him getting angry."
- "He's very protective of his loved ones."
- >"Care to give an example?"
- "I'd rather not."
- >"Fair enough then."
- >You'd chatted with AJ for a while before leaving.
- >She knew just how to calm you down.
- >You'd have to ask Rainbow how she knew what "cloud carpet" tasted like later.
- >The fuck even is that?
- >Maybe it was some new interior thing...
- >Nah, you weren't THAT stupid.
- >Actually between you and your brother, you were probably the smart one.
- >Why the fuck is he carrying a trophy?
- >Why do you have a habit of running into him?
- >"Man Pinkie, that was pretty fucking rad."
- >"Yeah, we totally rocked those two, we bad."
- "I don't want to know why you guys are doing Zecora's thing."
- >"We definitely won a rap battle contest."
- >"Yep, out of everypony we lasted the longest."
- "I'm not even sure if that flowed, but it rhymed I guess."
- >"Anyway, how are you doing?"
- "Eh, it's been a day I suppose. I had fun, so there's that."
- >"Oh, Derpy left a package for you at the house, said it was for your eyes only."
- "Aw how sweet of her, I'll go check it out now. Have fun doing... whatever you two do."
- >They giggled, you didn't want to tell them you knew one of their fetishes.
- >You hurried home and headed up to your room.
- >You set the box down and opened it.
- >You wondered what Derpy could have possibly gotten you.
- >There was a note inside.
- >"Hey Femmy, I wanted to get you something nice. I figured it was what good marefriends do. I got Rarity to make you
- some clothes, I hope you like them. You don't have to wear them but it would mean a lot to me if you did. I'll see you
- tomorrow. - Love Derpy."
- >She even drew a cute little heart at the bottom.
- >There was an adorable muffin t-shirt, you absolutely had to wear this tomorrow.
- >A dazzling blue velvet dress was in the box as well.
- >There were some sweet hair accessories, Rarity probably threw those in free of charge.
- >And under it all was a pair of jeans with another note.
- >"Your brother mentioned something about you guys not having Cutie Marks when I was delivering the mail one day.
- I figured I'd get you something special to me. Now you'll always have a Cutie Mark with you. Even if I have to be
- somewhere else."
- >The jeans had her bubble Cutie Mark sewn on the sides of them.
- >It might not seem like much, but you know just how much this means to her.
- >She actually spent money on you.
- >Sure it was a bit early in the relationship, but she was clearly eager to please.
- >You'd have to treat her to a nice dinner at home some night.
- >You went to bed thinking about how sweet she was to you.
- >You hoped you could do the same for her.
- >She really was precious to you.
- >You think you could say you loved her at this point.
- >You weren't sure why, but something about her just felt right.
- >Maybe it was her smile.
- >Maybe it was her attitude.
- >Maybe it was her bright-eyes, full of innocence and life.
- >It was probably all of the above.
- >You snuggled your pillow close and smiled to yourself.
- >You knocked on Derpy's door.
- >You couldn't wait to see her face.
- >She opened the door and you gave her a big hug.
- "Hey there my little muffin, thanks for the present yesterday."
- >She was crimson red, "Oh hey Femmy, sorry if it was a little forward. I'm a bit awkward with this stuff."
- "Don't be sorry, I loved it! You're very sweet."
- >You whispered in her ear.
- "If you tell my brother about this I'll deny I ever acted like this, just saying."
- >"Your secret is safe with me, but y'know he's gonna find out eventually right?"
- "Yeah, I just wanna enjoy not hearing about it all the time while it lasts."
- >She giggled, "You look good in the muffin top."
- "How about the jeans?"
- >"Y-you actually like them?"
- "I know how much it means to you. It couldn't have been a simple decision to give someone else your Cutie Mark.
- Even if it isn't real."
- >"I thought you could use them to cheer yourself up when you feel down. Bubbles are good at uplifting ponies."
- >You gave her a kiss on the snout.
- "Love you Derpy."
- >"L-love you too Femmy."
- "Well, I should probably let you get to work."
- >"Yeah, meet me in the park after work?"
- "Sure thing, have fun!"
- >She flew off with the biggest smile on her face.
- >You might've just made her day.
- >Feels good.
- >You wanna go talk to Rarity about this.
- >She made the things after all.
- >You waltzed right up to Rarity's door and walked on in.
- >"You could have knocked darling."
- "Eh."
- >"I must say you look dashing in that ensemble."
- "Thanks, nice work on the jeans by the way."
- >"It was no trouble at all dear, but could you see what all that noise outside is about? I'm trying to concentrate."
- "Sure thing."
- >"Look Spike, all I'm saying is that you could always come with me and Pinkie and we could get you laid."
- >"I dunno Anon, isn't that like... illegal or something?"
- >"Bro come on, I haven't read anything against the ladies of the night. It'll be fine."
- >"But I like Rarity."
- >"I'll try to find you the whitest unicorn I can. Maybe if you're lucky she'll play to your fetish."
- >"It's not a fetish!"
- >"Dude, you like her hair way too much."
- >"You should've seen the time that Nonny and I got Luna to blush! That was fun!"
- >"I don't even wanna know how you guys did that. Can I go talk to Rarity now?"
- "Sure thing champ, I'll deal with this knucklehead."
- >"... Unlike Sonic I don't chuckle."
- "..."
- >Goddammit.
- >"Look, you gotta respect ya boy Knuckles."
- "Just stop talking about things they won't understand."
- >"Oooh Nonny I just got another Chaos Emerald!"
- "... Pinkie doesn't count."
- >"Later Spike, have fun."
- >"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Weirdo."
- "Why do you gotta be like this?"
- >"Be like what? I think it's pretty normal for a growing dragon to learn about the birds and the bees."
- "You know what I mean."
- >"Yeah, I just like being an asshole sometimes. It's not often I get to be one."
- "Just, be straight with me for a second."
- >"I'm not sure you have the ability for that, but okay."
- "Funny, but I wanted to know what you and Pinkie were talking to him about."
- >"I already told you, sexy stuff."
- "I'm calling bullshit."
- >"But there aren't any cows around."
- "... Pinkie, please. Not now."
- >"Eh fine, we wanted him to come clubbing with us. There was that time we outdrank Luna. Then we did it right
- there on the dance floor."
- "A dance move that's basically just sex?"
- >"Not even that, straight up sex."
- >You shook your head, this is why you worried about him.
- "Well, what were you two doing here anyway?"
- >"Wanted to check on you, can't I say hi to my little sister?"
- "You usually need my help with something when you come talk to me."
- >"Well... Oh hey nice jeans Femmy. Anyway, Nonny and I might've gotten some ponies angry."
- "Elaborate."
- >"Heh, don't freak out Fem but we might've pissed off some gangsters."
- "You what?"
- >"Yeah, one of them tried to stab me."
- "Jesus Anon how did you even do this?!"
- >"We might've insinuated that their mothers were less than wholesome."
- "Give me the exact words."
- >"Look I was drunk and-"
- "Exact. Words."
- >"... I might've called their mothers buttsluts who have to take twenty dicks in the ass to feel pleasure."
- "Damn it Anon!"
- >"THERE'S THE IDIOT!"
- >"We're gonna wring you dry boy!"
- >You rolled your eyes.
- "These are the guys you're scared of?"
- >"The hay are you?"
- >You grabbed the knife out of his grip and stabbed him in the chest.
- >"AGH! THAT HURT!"
- "That's the... point."
- >You turned to the other two.
- "Anon, I'll take the ugly one."
- >"Hey now, you gotta leave me one to fight!"
- "Cute, let's wreck these guys mate."
- >The skinny ass bitch gave you a smirk, as if to say "Come at me bro."
- >You slammed the cheeky fucker with a right hook, and grabbed him by the neck.
- "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER!"
- >You threw him onto the ground and curb stomped him.
- >"Phyeesssh kaymang. Ugh..."
- >He was out cold.
- >You turned to see Anon cleaning up.
- >"You ain't so tough! Heh, guess I was worried over nothing."
- >At least you were safe now.
- >You got launched across the street into a cart full of fruit.
- "Ugh, my everything."
- >You looked up to see a hulking mass of muscle staring daggers at you.
- >"I heard your boy messed with my boys."
- >He turned to Anon and Pinkie.
- >"This it? Some dork and a mare who is too stupid to even fix her mane?"
- "Heh, you're fucked now."
- >"What was that?"
- >Anon was furious, "THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU HURT MY LITTLE SISTER, YOU INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND, I'LL... I'll..."
- >He dashed over to the stallion and wrapped his hands around his throat.
- >"I'll break you."
- >"Kch, what?"
- >"Like a Kit-Kat bar."
- >He picked him up and slammed his face into a street lamp.
- >"OH ARE THESE YOUR NUTS?!"
- >He wrapped his left hand around them and squeezed until they popped.
- >"Sorry, not anymore. Got you neutered boy."
- >"I REGRET EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE!"
- >"Too little, too late."
- >He dragged his face across the pavement before dunking him into a dumpster.
- >"Nobody is going to miss you, that's the funny part."
- "Jeez, helluva punchline."
- >He helped you up and went to give Pinkie a hug, "Not in the mood for jokes."
- >Pinkie wrapped her hooves around him.
- >"You okay Nonny?"
- >"I don't like getting upset."
- >You decided to give him a hug sandwich.
- "I know."
- >"I just... snapped, I'm sorry."
- "I know."
- >"... I love you guys."
- >"I know."
- "We both do."
- >You should've warned the guy not to upset him, but his fate was sealed the moment he laid a hoof on you.
- >Anon always did have a bit of temper.
- >Thing is, he only ever let it out when he felt somebody was wronged.
- >Or when his loved ones are in danger.
- >And yet, every time, without fail, he'd feel bad afterwards.
- "C'mon Anon, let's get you inside."
- >Your everything still hurt, but he needed to lie down.
- >Exerting himself like that left him tired.
- >Lifting a bulky pony as he did wasn't easy.
- >Spike was standing on the other side of the door with a lamp.
- >"Oh, it's you guys. Jeez, you look like crap."
- "Thanks Spike, you know how to treat a lady."
- >"I... Well I mean, uh..."
- "Relax, I'm just giving you a hard time."
- >"Sorry."
- "It's okay, you have to put up with Twilight."
- >"Heh, yeah."
- >Your arms were scraped up, but whatever Rarity made these clothes out of was durable.
- >Aside from pain, you didn't have any damage to the rest of your body.
- >Shame, you might've gotten a sexy scar or two.
- "Rarity, Anon needs to lie down."
- >"Oh my goodness, what happened out there?"
- "We beat up some gangsters."
- >"By Celestia, come on get him to the bed! I can sleep on the couch."
- "Thanks Rares."
- >"I'm gonna stay here and watch over him, I'm just sad my Nonny got all worked up over me and now he's hurt."
- "He'll be fine, but he's gonna be sore. Don't do anything... naughty."
- >"Now's not the time for that Femmy. This is serious."
- >Jeez, what a buzzkill.
- >Still, she had a point.
- >But she didn't know just how resilient he was.
- >You've seen him recover from worse.
- "I think I'm gonna go lie down as well."
- >You were gonna be sore as shit.
- "Get Derpy for me would ya Rares?"
- >"With pleasure!"
- >You awoke to Derpy cuddling you.
- >You wrapped an arm around her and scratched her ear.
- "Thanks love, appreciate that."
- >She batted her eyes open, "Hi Femmy, you okay?"
- "I'm a little sore, but it's mostly my pride that's hurt."
- >"I still love you."
- "Thanks, wanna go check on Anon?"
- >"Sure, how is he?"
- "He should be fine."
- >You walked up to Rarity's room and saw Pinkie Pie curled up next to him.
- "Hey guys, you okay?"
- >Anon laughed, "Ah, I'm just peachy as pie."
- >He gave Pinkie a kiss.
- >"Sometimes I feel like I need to tell you I love you more."
- >"That's okay Nonny, I already know you do."
- >You gave Derpy a hug.
- "I suppose all's well that ends well."
- >"Yeah... hey Femmy?"
- "What is it Derp-"
- >She kissed you.
- >Holy shit she kissed you.
- >She stepped back, blushing.
- >"Sorry if I wasn't very good, it was my first time."
- "I... uh, y-you too."
- >You fell into a hug on top of her.
- >You snuggled her chest.
- >"Check these two out Pinks."
- >"Yeah, couple of dorks. Just like us."
- "Ah shut up Anon, we're having a moment."
- >He put his hand on Pinkie's mane and ran his fingers through it.
- >"So are we Femmy, so are we."
- "I think this is all gonna work out just fine."
- >"I love you Femmy."
- "Love you too Derpy."
- >"Eh, Pinks and I already knew that."
- >"Yeah, you two are almost as obvious as us."
- "Never change Anon."
- >"Wouldn't dream of it."
- "Good, cause I'd have to smack some sense into you."
- >You gave him a fist bump and headed home.
- "I'll catch you later bro."
- >"See you on the flipside, pony girl."
- >You flipped him the bird and heard him laugh.
- >That's your brother.
- >You wouldn't have it any other way.
- >"Oh! Femmy, do you think we could go to the park before you head home?"
- >That's right, you DID agree to do that.
- "Of course Derpy, I didn't forget about it."
- >You spent the evening relaxing at the park.
- >"Fem? Why did you choose me?"
- "... Y'know, I thought about that myself. You got me to smile, and you have pretty eyes. You're a nice enough pony,
- that's good enough for me."
- >"But, what if you meet somepony better?"
- >You held her close.
- "You're special to me, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are important. Remember that."
- >"... Thanks Fem. Sometimes I worry I'm not good enough, even if I smile through it all."
- "You don't need to worry about impressing me, you're there for me and that's what matters."
- >You kissed her forehead.
- "Now stop worrying, your smile is too nice for you to frown like this."
- >She giggled, "Nopony has ever talked about how pretty I am."
- "Well they're silly, you are a pretty pony."
- >You nuzzled her face.
- >Through her blushing you could a smile creep across her face.
- >"Thanks, you're too sweet."
- "Nah, that's you."
- >"No really you're the sweet one!"
- >You both ended up laughing.
- >Of course you would argue that the other was nicer.
- >It's only fitting, that you would argue who was the better girlfriend.
- >Thing is, you were both arguing for the OTHER side.
- "It really is the little things."
- The End.
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