Moar Rainbro

>>397469
This one is just for YOU.  Not the others in the thread.  YOU.  This is YOURS to cherish forever and ever.

>Having some good brotimes with Dash.
>An... unfortunate incident occurs in your kitchen.  Let's just say neither of you should be allowed to cook.
>Your house is temporarily out of commission for renovation.
>Standing around outside with Dash.
>"Well, Shit, Dash.  Now what?"
>She blushes a little.
>"You know Anon, you can stay at my place for a while, if you want.  I've got your back."
>"No, I mean food.  I'm still hungry."
>Her blush deepens.
>"Oh.  Uh, we can always just go get something from Pinkie."
>"Good idea."
>"Let's rock."
>"Hey, Dash?"
>"Yeah?"
>"How would I stay up in the clouds, anyway?"
>"I dunno.  Twilight can do spells and junk."
>"I might have to take you up on that offer.  Nothing against the other ponies, but they're just not... I don't know how to word it.  You fit where they don't.  Know what I mean?"
>She gets a nervous smile.
>"Heh... yeah."

>"So Dashie, I hear Anon is gonna stay with you for a little while?"
>Pinkie wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.
>"It's not like that.  Anon's house is... not a cool place to be right now.  He needed somewhere to stay, and I offered."
>You put up a fist for a bro-hoof/fist-pound abomination.  It's really pretty weird to shove a fist into a hoof, but it's a gesture both of you are familiar with so you just deal with it.
>"Hey wait a minute... how did you hear about that, Pinkie?  We JUST left Anon's house like, four minutes ago!"
>"Oh, I have my ways."
>You stuff down some tasty treats.  Pinkie may not be your bro, but DAMN she can bake.  You make a mental note to ask her for advice later.
>Dash finishes her food, and the two of you walk over to Twilight's place.
>You kick open the door and make your voice as high and regal as you can.
>"TWILIGHT SPARKLE, YOUR FRIENDSHIP REPORT IS LATE!"
>Before you can blink, she's on the floor in front of you.  Bowing apologetically.  She doesn't bother to look up and see it's just you.
>Dash snickers.
>Twilight looks up.
>"Oh ha-ha, Anon."
>"I dunno Twilight, I thought it was pretty good."
>You smirk in Dash's direction.
>"Of course YOU did.  I swear, sometimes you're worse with me than Scootaloo is with you."
>Her face is beet-red, but it's hard to tell if it's a blush or if it's anger.
>"I... I am NOT!  Look, you're awesome, okay?  If you weren't, you wouldn't be WORTHY of hanging with The Dash!"
>Twilight looks confused.
>"So... what did you two need?"
>"Anon, what do you think?  Is Twilight radical enough to help us?"
>You look her up and down.
>"...No way."

>You and Dash are now on the ground laughing, pounding your hands/hooves into the dirt and rolling around.
>Twilight shuts the door.
>You both keep laughing for several more minutes.
>Dash is so fun to be around.  Staying with a bro of her magnitude is gonna be fucking AMAZING.
>You knock on the door again.
>Twilight opens it, revealing her srs face.
>"Are you two done yet?"
>You turn to look at eachother and nod.
>"Yeah, I think so."
>"So then... what did you need?"
>Dash puts a hoof around your waist.  It was awkward the first few times, but it's basically the equivalent of a friendly arm over the shoulder.  She just can't reach that high.
>"Anon here is gonna stay with me for a little while, and we-"
>Twilight chokes on a held back guffaw.
>Dash steps forward in a confrontational, 'what-now, biatch' sorta way.
>"Izzat gonna be a problem?"
>"No... no, of course not, Dash.  In fact, I think it'll probably be the SOLUTION to a problem or two."
>You scrunch your face in confusion.
>"What's that supposed to mean?"
>Dash looks nervous.
>Twilight steps over to you.
>"Nothing.  Okay, so cloudwalking?  And I assume you'll probably want to leave the house now and then, so a way up and down?"
>"Uh... yeah, I guess that's about it."
>"Right then.  I'll cast a cloudwalking spell that'll last about a week, and you can borrow my balloon."
>"Thanks, Twilight.  I take it back.  You are pretty radical.  Consider yourself Vice-Bro to Dash."
>"...Thank you?"

>You've gotten settled in at Dash's place.  It's pretty swanky, considering it's like 90% cloud.
>She insisted you take the bed, claiming she felt sorry for you for never having experience a cloud bed.
>The two of you are lounging on her couch, enjoying some terrible horror movie about dinosaurs rampaging in a nuclear facility.
>Dash is kinda jittery.
>You idly wonder if she's afraid of dinosaurs.  Or nukes.
>Or both.
>At a lull in the action, she turns to you.
>"Hey Anon?"
>"Yeah?"
>"What exactly are the duties of a Vice-Bro?"
>"Huh?"
>"Y'know, Twilight's new title.  Like... if I'm assassinated by a rogue Zebraharan nationalist, does she take over my duties?"
>"I dunno.  I was just trying to keep her in a good mood.  Didn't seem like she liked my little prank."
>"Oh.  So she's not really Vice-Bro?"
>"I guess not.  I mean, yeah, she's not as lame as SOME ponies, but I don't think she could handle being in your position.  She just doesn't have what it takes."
>She gulps nervously.
>"And... what exactly does it take?  To be me?  What DO I have?"
>This is kinda outta nowhere.  You wonder what's on your bro's mind.  The Vice-Bro comment really seems to have hit on something.
>Maybe she has some kinda complex about being replaced.  Like her parents used stories about adopting a new daughter if she misbehaved or something, and she's desperate for validation.  Fuck if you know.
>You decide to humor her.  Why not?  She's your bro.
>"Well, you're a badass.  Twilight's not a badass."
>Dash giggles.
>"Are you sure?  I mean, she can probably study five times faster than you!  Do you really wanna mess with that?"

>"So... what else, Anon?"
>"Let's see here... oh, you're so fast it doesn't even make SENSE.  I'm no comic book geek, but I think you could probably beat any superhero in a race.  Except the Flash, of course.  Nobody's faster than the Flash."
>Dash looks confused.
>You shake your head.
>"Nevermind.  Point is, you're RETARDED fast.  And then how can we forget your off-the-charts coolness, radicalness, and awesomeness?"
>She blushes and waves a hoof dismissively.
>"No, Dash.  Don't be modest.  On top of all that, you've got a winning smile, bitchin' shades, and kickass hair."
>You're making wild gestures to indicate these things, and the tone of your voice makes it clear you're being more than a little goofy.
>"Plus?  One HELL of a flank!"
>You playfully slap her cutie mark.
>She yelps in surprise and falls off the couch.
>She gives a hesitant and somewhat forced laugh.
>"Aw come on, Dash.  Just playin' around."
>"Heh... yeah.  I'm fine."
>"Now really, I doubt Twilight's got ANY of that."
>Dash smiles.
>You put your hand on your chin and look up in thought.
>"Except maybe her flank, I guess.  Baby's got back, yeah?"
>A look you can't identify flashes across her eyes for just a second.  Is Dash into mares?  Did you just unintentionally plant the seeds of romance amongst what used to be stable friendship?
>God you hope not.  Romantic entanglement amongst friends almost always ends in tears.

>Dash climbs off the floor and back onto the couch.  Her wings are sticking out awkwardly, but she does her best to make sure you're both seated comfortably.
>She's such a goddamn bro.  She deserves a fuckin' medal.
>After a second, she gets back off the couch.
>"What's up?"
>"Nothing, just going to grab something to drink.  You want anything?"
>"Whaddaya got?"
>She flashes a downright DEVIOUS smile at you.
>"Better question.  What DON'T I have.  I think you should come with me."
>The two of you step into her liquor closet.
>Holy BALLS.
>Girl is serious about her drinks.  You can respect that.
>Now, you've never heard of most of these, having grown up and done your drinking on Earth, but even if you'd been an Equestrian native you're sure you'd recognize half of these at most.
>"What uh... what's good?"
>"Everything, but maybe that's just me."
>She laughs.
>"Try whatever you want, Anon.  What's mine is yours."

>Two hours and an almost unbelievably unhealthy amount of alcohol later, you're not sure what the technical name for your level of inebriation is.  You lost track at 'totally fit-shaced'.
>Dash is either a complete MONSTER or has been holding back on the drink.  You're not sure which.
>You lean on her for support.  Walking is HARD.
>Have I mentioned you're a dumb piece of shit yet?  That you're going to fuck everything up?  Because you are.  You're too drunk not to.
>"Y'know, I fukkin' love you, man."
>She blushes real hard and pops a massive, throbbing wingboner, but you don't notice.
>"I really wasn't kiddin' earlier.  You're... you're awesome.  Twilight ain't got SHIT on you!"
>She starts guiding you toward the bed.  You happily plod along, oblivious to the fact that you're moving.
>"I mean, not only are you *garbleflarbleunintelligible* but when I fuck up, you've got my back!  I need you, and I don't know what I'd do without you."
>She reaches the edge of the bed and tries to help push you onto it, but you slip and grab her neck.  You land on the floor NEXT to the bed, laying across her chest.
>The floor is not comfy.  Dash is not comfortable.  Dash is comfy.  You are comfortable.  And drunk.  Don't forget drunk.
>You mumble sleepily, "You're my bro, Dash.  Don't ever stop bro-ing for me."
>You pass out.

>You wake up in the morning, and your head is killing you.  You try to open your eyes, but very quickly decide to not ever do that again.  The sun is a vile and hateful thing.  What even...?  Right, the drinks.  SO many drinks...
>Man, at least the cloud bed is nice and soft.  You mumble into the pillow underneath you about fluffy soft wonderfulness.
>You gently swish your hand around on the surface before you find the edge and your hand... hits the floor?
>You were sure the bed was higher up than that.
>Come to think of it, your head and torso are living the high life, but your legs are actually pretty shitty.
>You move one of them and bang your knee into something hard and unforgiving.
>Summoning all your courage and strength, you try to open your eyes again.
>NOPE.
>Though you did catch something blue against something white.  The bed wasn't blue, was it?
>Vague memories of last night start falling back into your head.
>OH.  Right, Dash was walking you to the bedroom and...
>SHIT.
>NO.
>WHY?
>Please, no.
>You pray for a sign that you did not, in fact, fuck a horse last night.
>Finding yourself in the most dire circumstances you can ever remember encountering, you try once more to open your eyes.
>You SUCCEED!
>At a great cost.  FUCK the light hurts.  Are you that hung over, or does a lot more sunlight get into a cloud house than a ground house?

>You slowly stand and look around.  The bed's jimmies are unrustled.  Looks like nobody's been in it.
>Dash starts stirring and opens one eye.
>"What... time is it?"
>"I have no idea, but uh... why were we on the floor?"
>She laughs.
>"Oh, that.  Yeah, you were pretty messed up.  I tried to get you to the bed, but uh... didn't quite make it.  We sorta fell, and you were laying on me."
>"Okay, so I was out and not gonna move.  Got it.  Why were YOU on the floor?"
>She blushes.
>"'Cuz I didn't wanna wake you.  You looked so peaceful.  Like a drunken, idiotic baby."
>You chuckle.
>"Uh... sorry.  Didn't mean to take your bed AND your couch from you.  And then not use either."
>"It's fine.  I was drunk enough that I slept pretty well anyway.  Tomorrow night, though?  You're sleeping in that bed.  And you are going to LOVE it."
>"I dunno, you're pretty fuckin' soft.  I could get used to sleeping on you if I had somewhere to put my legs."
>There her wings go again.  Have they always done that at random times of day and you just never noticed?
>"So, Anon.  It's morning.  I'm hungry.  You're hungry.  What do we do about it?"
>"Well you have a kitchen, don-"
>"Nope, not happening.  That's how we got into this situation in the first place."
>"I dunno, seems like a good idea to me.  Attempt to make food, add one bro to living space.  Season with alcohol to taste."
>You share a laugh before deciding to go with the easy default.  Pinkie.
>You start for the balloon.
>Dash stops you.
>"What?"
>"Balloons are stupid.  I have a better idea."

>The balloon is now on the ground, next to the lake, ready for you to take it back up when necessary.
>Dash's house is floating OVER the lake.
>You're hesitating at the edge of the cloud, but not because you're scared of heights or anything.
>As awesome as the idea sounds, you're just a bit nervous about taking a couple hundred foot drop into a lake of questionable depth.
>"So, you gonna jump or what?"
>"...Have you done this before?"
>Dash wiggles her wings.
>"Right.  Just... gimme a sec."
>She rolls her eyes.
>"One."
>She pushes you.
>ShitshitshitshitfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK *splash*

>You're now shivering on the shore of the lake.
>Clothes get very uncomfortable when wet.  A fact that Dash can be forgiven for not knowing.  Why didn't YOU think of that?
>In no time at all, she's back down carrying a bag of yours loaded with shirts and pants and whatnot.
>She sets it down next to you, and you look at eachother for a second.
>Her wings are doing that thing again.
>"Okay... so I'm just gonna get changed real quick."
>"Al...alright.  I'll meet you there?"
>"Sure."
>She takes off at top speed right as you start to peel your cold, wet pants off.

>You walk in and look around.  Dash is sitting over in a corner and waves you over.
>You sit down and the two of you start compiling a list of awful ideas to try for getting you down.
>You're mostly in favor of ones that don't involve you getting wet.
>Pinkie bounces over.
>"Hiya Dashie!"
>"Hey Pinkie."
>"Sooooo... how did last night go?  Didja break him yet?"
>"Hey, lay off her Pinkie.  My bro is takin' good care of me."
>"Oh I'll BET she is."
>You roll your eyes and decide to play along a bit.
>"Yeah.  Who knew she was so soft?"
>You reach over and pet her like a piece of fabric.
>She gives you a sly look.  She knows this game.
>"Yeah, I guess I'm pretty soft, but I had no idea YOU were so HARD!"
>Pinkie gasps.
>"I'm lucky I'm not bruised!"
>"Hey, me too!  The floor is surprisingly uncomfortable, considering it's made of clouds."
>"All the way off the edge and to the floor, Dashie?  That's a new record!"
>"I dunno what you're talking about Pinkie."
>"Yeah.  What edge is she talking about, Dash?"
>Pinkie tilts her head.
>"But wait... if you... I thought... the floor?"
>"You still gotta try the bed, Anon."
>Pinkie tilts her head further.
>"You guys are confusing me."
>Dash bolts upright.
>"Oh crud!  I forgot, there's something I gotta go take care of.  I'll be right back, okay?"
>"Sure."
>She rockets out of there and Pinkie continue looking at you.
>"What?"
>"I'm just trying to figure out whether or not you two bumped uglies."
>"Pinkie, it's just fun and games.  A joke."

>"A mare's heart is not to be toyed with, Anon."
>"What?  No, we didn't do anything.  The insinuations are the joke."
>"Like pretending there's an invisible book that only smart ponies can see so Twilight gets all frustrated?"
>"Uh, yeah, I guess."
>"But you gotta confess in the end or once it starts to hurt, or else you're an awful meanie."
>"Yeah, and I'm telling you right now.  You seemed pretty lost."
>Pinkie stares at you with a look you've never seen her give before.  Sad reminiscense, maybe?
>"You need to be really careful with those jokes, Anon.  They hurt a lot more than you think."
>Dash comes back in.
>"Did I miss anything?"
>Pinkie shakes her head.
>"Nopey-dopey.  I was just telling Anon how it's not nice to keep stringing a pony along with a prank and eventually you gotta come clean."
>Dash glares at Pinkie.  There's... a history you don't know?

>The two of you are at Twilight's, helping her with some ridiculous magic nonsense.
>Twilight keeps looking at the two of you funny.
>The next time she leaves the room to get something, you turn to Dash.
>"Is there... something going on I don't know about?"
>"Like what?"
>"I don't know... just, all the ponies we talk to are giving me weird, coded messages.  Like they're trying to tell me something important but they aren't allowed to say it."
>She laughs nervously.
>"I have no idea."
>"Don't tell me you're in on it, too?"
>She blushes.  Again.  Man, between the blushing and the wing thing, you wonder if she's got some kind of medical condition.
>"If I was, would I be able to tell you?"
>"Ah man, you totally are!  You KNOW!  And now that I KNOW you know, I gotta know!"

>Twilight comes back into the room.
>You turn to her and salute.
>"Vice-Bro, I require your assistance on a matter of utmost importance!"
>She awkwardly salutes you in return.
>"It seems there's a conspiracy buried here, one that I am not involved in but am at the center of."
>Dash fidgets nervously and shoots Twilight a pleading look.
>"There is a secret, and SPAM WORDFILTER here is trying to keep it from me."
>Twilight looks over at Dash.
>"Rainbow, wouldn't it be a lot easier if you just told him?"
>"Ah-HA!  So you DO know!"
>Dash hovers nervously between you and Twilight.
>"No.  She's bluffing.  Pretending.  Joking!"
>"Vice-Bro, is this true?"
>"Why are you even asking her?  I'm Bro.  I outrank her.  You should take my word over hers."
>"Insidious agents have been known to reach positions of power... Vice-Bro, what do you have to say?"
>Dash gets closer to you.  She looks scared.
>"Don't you trust me, Anon?"
>"Listen, broski.  I do trust you.  Absolutely.  I trust you more than any other pony in my life.  But it's clear there's a secret here that you don't want me to find out.  That's cool.  Bros can have some secrets.  I just need to know WHY I can't know.  Make sure I'm in the clear, y'know?"
>"You're TOTALLY in the clear!  You're fine!  Nothing bad is gonna happen to you as long as I have a say in the matter."
>"Then why can't I know?  Is it just that embarassing?"
>Instead of answering, she blushes more fiercely than she has all week.

>"Okay then.  I'll let it go.  I trust you, and if you say it doesn't involve me, I believe you."
>She lets out a forced laugh.
>"Eh heh... funny thing there... it sorta... DOES involve you."
>"Well then I'm gonna need to know about it!  If you have incriminating photos of me, you can't just not tell me that!  I mean you could blackmail me, sure, but you have to let me KNOW!"
>"It's nothing that'll be bad for you.  I won't let it be.  Trust me."
>Her eyes look a little misty.
>You sigh.
>"I'm going to drop this.  For now.  But rest assured, I WILL get to the heart of the matter eventually."
>At this inappropriate juncture, Twilight lets out a short laugh.
>"And just what's funny now?"
>"Nothing, Anon.  Just your word choice there."
>Dash grabs you by the wrist.
>"Come on, Anon.  We've got better places to be."
>You apologize to Twilight for leaving early as you're dragged outside.
>"Dash, what's gotten into you?"
>"Nothing!  I'm fine!"
>"No, it's pretty clear you're not.  You're my bro, Dash.  I don't want to see you unhappy.  Let me help."
>"Bro-ness is a two way street, Anon.  It'd be really un-bro of me to drop this on you.  I can handle it, and I PROMISE you I won't let anything bad happen to you because of it."
>You raise a finger and open your mouth to object.
>"I ALSO promise you that you aren't in any physical danger, and there are no incriminating photos."

>That night Dash is unusually quiet.
>She doesn't make a peep during the awesome explodey action movie, and she just barely touches the alcohol.
>"Dash, how much did you drink last night?"
>"Huh?  Why?"
>"Just curious."
>"I dunno... not a whole lot, I guess."
>"And how much have you had tonight?"
>"Practically nothing."
>"...Why?"
>"I haven't really felt like it."
>"That doesn't sound like the Dash I know.  Back at my place, you would POUND 'em down and still fly home.  I know you can, and I know you like it."
>"Have you ever said or done something you regret while you were drunk?"
>"Yeah, who hasn't?"
>"I don't want to ruin what we've got."
>"How is it any different than when we're at my place?"
>She lets out a long, LONG sigh.
>"Because I can't just fly home.  I'm already here, and I can't get away from the mistakes I'm about to make."
>"Listen, you're right.  Bro-ness IS a two way street.  And I have had enough of whatever is eating you.  It's really hard to be your bro if you won't LET me.  Don't you want me to be your bro?"
>There's an uncomfortable silence.
>"...No."

>"What?"
>"It'll all make sense in a minute, Anon.  I'm gonna go down a few gallons of liquid courage, and we're gonna do this dance.  I'm gonna put all my cards on the table, and if I'm very, VERY lucky, we'll slay this beast."
>"Dash, what in the everloving fuck are you talking about?"
>"Oh my GOD I hate agreeing with Twilight, but your word choice is RIDICULOUS!"
>After about twenty minutes, you get up to see what's taking her so long.
>She wasn't kidding.  She's had a LOT.  Like... you're pretty sure even The Dash can't handle that much and she's going to need medical attention real soon.
>You knock the bottle she's holding aside.
>"I don't know what YOU'RE thinking, but I think you've had enough.  I know I pushed you, but this can wait.  We should get you to the doctor."
>She's wobbling back and forth even when standing still, and her speech is terribly slurred.
>"NO!  I'm SO CLOSE!"
>"So close to what, killing yourself?"
>"No.  Close to brave enough!  I can almost put the words together!"
>"Yeah, and you're rapidly losing the ability to do ANYTHING else.  Pretty soon including BREATHING."
>"That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!"
>"Yeah, well I'm not!  You aren't gonna let anything bad happen to me, and I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you.  You are NOT drinking yourself to death because I asked you to tell me something you're clearly not ready to tell me."
>"But I ALMOST am!  Just a few more bottles and I KNOW I can do it!"
>"I don't CARE anymore!  I care about YOU more than I care about whatever stupid conspiracy is going on."
>She turns and looks you square in the eye.  A few tears leak out onto the floor.
>"You're not making this any easier, Anon."

>"Then help me MAKE it easier.  I'll do whatever you want as long as you're safe, and right now you're not."
>She grunts and flips over the table.
>"WHY?  IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME SO MUCH, THEN WHY?"
>"Why WHAT?  Why am I trying to save your LIFE?"
>"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"
>"Dash, I don't know what you're talking about!"
>"You're so STUPID!"
>"SO EDUCATE ME!"
>"You're my BRO!  I CAN'T!  You've emphasized that point OVER and OVER again!"
>"Then forget bros!  If you being my bro is going to kill you, then I don't want to be your bro!  You're more important than that!"
>She steps toward you on unsteady hooves.
>She puts her muzzle RIGHT up against your face.
>And she screams.
>"IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'D HATE YOU!"

>The unexpected loud noise directly in your face knocks you over, and you haven't finished processing what she just said before she reaches down and puts a hoof behind your head.
>She pulls you forward and kisses you.
>DEEPLY.
>You're pretty sure even if this situation was 100% normal in every way, the sheer depth of that kiss would still blow your mind.
>You reel back, panting for breath.
>Dash's face is soaked with tears, as is the floor underneath her.
>You can't think of anything to say, but you know exactly what to do.
>You brush the matted mane out of her face and wipe the freshest tears out of her eyes.  You peer through her eyes and into her soul.
>You embrace her and you kiss her with twice the ferocity she kissed you.
>When the kiss ends, you stay locked silently in the embrace for what feels like hours.
>Finally, Dash breaks the silence.
>"Did you... did you feel that way about me all along?"
>"...Yeah."
>"Then why did this have to be so hard?"
>"I wasn't sure if you felt the same way about me!"
>"Nuh-uh.  That's MY excuse.  I threw out clues.  I blushed.  I fidgeted nervously.  Why didn't YOU do anything?"
>"I was afraid you'd all think I was a freak for wanting to fuck horses."
>The two of roll about the floor laughing and kiss again before falling asleep in the middle of the kitchen.
>You lie on top of Dash.
>Fuck the cloud bed.  There's no way it's softer than Dash.