id be surprised if you actually read this, but its all true

Allow me to show you what trust is:
Let me show you how shattered a vase, even one so perfect, can actually be: allow me to begin
I am also not seeking a relationship. I claim Christianity but the division of the church because of class, race, corruption and the first problem of all, money. It has allowed the world to see the culture as not what it is, because the church tries to go out to the world and preach, it says that the man who prays not in his closet will be call Raca and a fool (Raca meaning in fear of losing the head and Fool being the loss of ones character) instead of inviting others in. You should always point your finger at the church. I claim orthodoxy because we are all elves, elf as another name for Human Being and life is a fairytale. Your spirituality says "Non-Religious" but it is ironic that you have not chosen criticize the church, allow me to continue. To be Hindu is not a religion, it is to believe in any God, but you must live and bathe in the Ganges river. To be Yoga is to believe that war is god and war is peace. That Krsna wants you to fight your brother, kill him, but meditate this death into peace, transform it. Noe-Paganism, the equivalent of "other/religion" in American terms is to walk without sinning but to trust that sin will save. The Buddhist realize that they are already dead, but they do the same as Yogic religion except only in moderation, they believe that their physical bodies are not real and that their ego (perfect self) is merely the consequences of their actions not their personal subjectivity, so a Buddhist himself (his body) is nothing, this he kills himself in asceticism, by denying all things except death. The Muslims believe that when you die life begins, this is why they kill all that do not believe this same statement spoken by their prophet Muhamed. The Christians believe life begins after you read the Old Testament, then change your relationship with god, realize his extreme void and his unconscious Reality, and see the blinding light that will destroy you, that in death brings nothingness and that God is this coming nothing, this coming forsaking of personal eternity, but to give the gift (always) to others even though its pain is so great. The Jews changed the name of Emmanuel to Jesus because Jesus broke no laws but they persecuted him for doing so. The Jews are also perfect because they believe that God is real but that life is eternal on the earth. But Jesus realizes that the earth is only for a fraction of a moment. I realized recently to lust after a woman is to already divorce from her
the same word "hallil" or "halal" in Hebrew it means to divorce your wife (or to worship her) because worshiping her is the same as allowing her to commit adultery but not persecute her, worship is the same thing as being single and walking with God. And in Islam "halal" it means kosher, to make meat good to eat, to me the Reality of that is so burdening that one must seek answers, but NEVER do. Because to seek the knowledge is to be cast out of the garden of Eden and see the light of god and be destroyed by it. If you do not believe then you already have a good conscience and already live in the kingdom of heaven for eternity but you will not see glory. Mathew testifies that glory is to be punished by god and have his light shine through you and destroy you physically and be forever living in Spirit. Because to worship 'her' is to not lust after her and thus to divorce her (the same as committing adultery) because to divorce your wife is to allow her to commit adultery it. It makes me weep continuously how Muslims persecute their wives, it makes me joyous that (true) Christians trust their wives to always commit adultery and thus to never leave them and to as well never cheat. Because this is the same as trust in god, to walk single, to walk with god and never seek a woman.
if it makes no sense: good, flee from me and never try to meet me because it will terrify you, my wisdom is too vast even for me because it crushes me and makes me weep the same tears that all of Christ's disciples drank as he walked through Jerusalem and was spat on. If it makes sense then we can weep together; even if we aren't in the same room or even the same city. Because to see the truth is to drink water. Always drink more water. When you meet me you will see a reflection of yourself minus the serpent which will show you the truth, but with the addition of the food that feeds all men from your chest, a liquid that is not holy but also evil and will tempt all men into doing what you will do if you meet me. You will see a reflection of your face with an infinitesimal sun above it as we look into each others, a very tiny sun you will see above your face in my eyes that will not blind you, but come close. For the actual light that shines within me will blind you, cast you into true knowledge and destroy your soul physically with the tears of Jesus, i implore you to drink more water, but not to seek knowledge, nor me. The water which will burn you because the truth is evil and more vast than anyone but Jesus could imagine. always doubt and be blinded. do you know what happens when you die? Nothing. That is what God is, unconscious. container and be blinded. do you know what happens when you die? Nothing. That is what God is, unconscious. This is why Jesus who thought he was God, and John testifies this "Father you are not Real, you have forsaken me." And him realizing this and finally suffering after willing to be persecuted proves that he was not a man but a God. For it is perfect to believe the truth. Knowing me is only for one reason, it is to show you what the truth is and to cause you to never kill or harm any others. It says all of this and I'm quoting this all from the bible which finally decided to read it in its entirety
I'm sorry for all this nonsense babble but i actually saw god and it frightened me into telling the truth
I died physically and god brought me back. I'm sorry if I sent this message twice but it said we were a mutual match. Another fact about my life: I once walked from Boise, to Portland, up to Seattle, cross to Bainbridge island, walked around the peninsula all the way on the back through Oregon on the 101 all the way to San Diego then through to New Mexico (in which i saw a wild tarantula and washed away my fear of spiders but the water which was obviously holy did not yet suffice to show me the terror that God was about to) I walked from there all the way through Colorado, to Nebraska, Missouri, through West Virginia (where I was thrown in Jail for not having an identification card and I pooped in the cell and the cops beat me and they had no charges brought against them, I was in cells next to murders who laughed about the fact that they were being locked in solitary confinement *for the rest of their lives* because they killed their wives) then I was released into Morgan Town, WMorgan Town, WV 4 days later. I then walked through Pittsburgh, PA, then to Philadelphia, went down to Baltimore, MD, where I saw Lexington market a quarantine zone for drugs where the police allow people do deal them and then arrest them in the same several minutes (I can explain more about this scenario if you would like) Then back up North, I walked from there through New York City (and new jersey which is as much of a hell hole as has always been described) all the way through Boston, New Hampshire, all the way to Bangor Maine which is as far east as I ever went because I had already cleansed my body in both oceans and still the water, which I was so immensely wishing to drink did not light any candles it only extinguished them and made me more lost in most vast darkness. I then walked back to Boise. I met some Muslims who told me that music and dancing was a sin, they were driving to Salt Lake City to start a cellular phone company. Once I finally did see God I never wanted to move or walk ever again I just wanted to tell the truth to others and then die. But I must serve my time her as it was God's will and I am a son of God. I used to like to explore but now I close my eyes because the only thing that I have is doubt, which is the first step in the walk with Jesus.

If you do not believe the words I speak then I am joyous because if you do and are interested you will eat from the tree of knowledge, be cast out of your garden of happiness, you will see God and its truth will destroy you with a horrifying void that will do nothing but tell you to tell the truth to others.

here is some of my artwork:
https://41.media.tumblr.com/d8e2756a4bca86864361eef79d2a0f86/tumblr_n8j3fdJQV51tgho5vo1_540.jpg
https://40.media.tumblr.com/d3af53f610553745896067a4ef4c09ed/tumblr_n8j3ge2bxx1tgho5vo1_540.png

and two of the poems when I was wandering on foot in a haze because of never ending void within my heart:
Called: Poppy

tight

around

the sunlight

and the swollen

clouds that

ignore

us



called: Vase

isolation, i love you, such a feeling,

no, its a feeling actually beyond

emptiness, a feeling that the

container which did hold

my love is gone and in

its place is what

makes up your

promises:

air.

I hope all of this is too much for you because to meet me is to truly understand what happens in every persons life. I am no God or Prince or King or anything. But I have seen God. And it started with your beauty.