/*
The CEO of the company (and my former boss) sold the company
leaving me free to comment the code as I should have. The
former CEO of the company will be referred  to as Dip Shit, or DS for short.

DS thinks he is a software developing genius. Unfortunately for
me (the maintenance programmer) I spent too much time cleaning
 up Dip's Shit.
DS is a daredevil developer. Like Evel Knievel his code uses
 the GOTO statement frequently jumping daringly from a code
module into the middle of an IF...THEN structure in a different
module that has nothing to do with the first module.
Speaking of IF structures DS loves them. He has no idea what a
CASE or SWITCH logic block is. Instead, I get to play code
archaeologist, and dig though a massively nested (and un-
indented) IF...THEN...ELSE logic blocks.

DS thinks of himself as clever, and this shows though with the
variable names he chooses:

  global i=0;
  global dateMyWife = 1;
  datesAreAFruit = '12/12/98';
  giveDatesToMyWife = datesAreAFruit + dateMyWife;
  if (someStuid)
  {
    giveDatesToMyWife = false;
  }

  // Ryan. Why does this sometimes crash?
  if (giveDatesToMyWife) goto :hotTub

  // Well, DS because you changed giveDatesToMyWife data type,
(also, adding an integer to the string -- which the compiler
warned you about)... Anyway in a weakly typed language you
obtained drain bramage by conditionally changing the data type
from a string to a Boolean, so that when the
if(giveDatesToMyWife) executes, when the variable is a string
the program correctly crashes -- because a string is not a
conditional bool type. Also, since someStuid is global, the
invisible pink unicorn only knows where this value is set, or
where and in what modules it gets changed.

DS only knows how to scope variables as global. Stating when he
"tried using local, or private, my programs would always error
with variable not found error, so it's just easier to make
everything a global."

I could go on, but as you dig though this flying-spaghetti-
monster nightmare code you will see what I mean.
*/