A Bicycle Built for Two (AnonxLunaxBicycle) Ch.1

"Anon, we are unsure of this method of transportation."
>"Oh calm down Luna, we're just gonna take it for a quick run across the castle walls, this'll be FUN!"
"We would like to know who designed this. Why did you paint "Anon-a-rama" on the side?"
>"It makes it go faster. Trust me."
>Luna can be silly sometimes. But still, it was pretty cool of her to try out your bicycle with you. Sure the market for it would be pretty small, but you needed an alternative when it came to running away from applejack.


>It took you long enough to actually make the darn thing.  You enlisted the help of several engineers and metalworkers throughout canterlot to reverse engineer the bicycle.  Sure, you've ridden plenty of them in your lifetime, but it took you a while to recreate the design in this equestrian world.
>Many nights were spent banging and screwing and bolting away.  Balancing wheels, tightening chains,  finding the right font for "Anon-a-rama," and generally making sure everything was in perfect condition for MAXIMUM SPEED!
>Luna took note of your project.  At first she simply attributed your fixation as some weird hiccup in human psyche and let you be.  But your constant comings and goings throughout the city soon drew her in.  You often worked at night when most of the castle was asleep, and the sounds of your industry echoed throughout the castle.
>She came into your workshop one evening and was rather astonished.  Everywhere there your charts, measurements, weights, notes, tools, models, and multiple failed designs.  She also liked your drawing of the "Super Rocket Space Bike 7660"
>That was going to be phase two.
"Anon...what exactly are you building in here?"
>You were pretty shocked that the Princess would just come into your workshop like that.  You were shocked that the princess would also just talk to you.  She was cool and all, but you mostly just saw her around breakfast time, as she was going to sleep.
>You took it all in good stride, however.
>"Oh.  Yeah.  Hi Luna, how's it hanging?  I mean, your majesty.  Person.  Pony.  This is a bike."
"It's form is confusing, but somehow intriguing.  Do explain more of this "bike."
>"Ah, yes ma'am.  Well, back on Earth (fuck Earth) bikes were used as a simple way to move about.  They're alot faster than walking, and easier than running.  You use these dillies right here, they're called pedals to move the wheels.  I know it sounds retarded, but it's a lot of fun, especially if you can find any sick places to ramp 'em or take them on a trail and go riding through the woods and look at leaves and crap."
>Tact, Anon.
>"I mean, appreciate nature."  She nodded in appreciation of your observation of basic ettiquette.
"They sound like a noble device.  What do you mean by "ramp 'em."
>"That is when you ride the bike off of an incline.  Preferably over a large gap and onto the other side."
"That sounds dangerous, Anon.  Why would you do that?"
>"Because it's fun.  And chicks thinks it's hot."
"You wish to impress small fowl?"
>"Well there's Scootaloo, but no.  I mean girls, females.  Sometimes they are impressed by feats of daring.  Shows off how adventurous you are.  But that was a long time ago.   Hormones were involved.  And cuts.  A few bones may have joined the party."
"You must have been quite the impressive specimen then," she crossed her hooves.
>"Yeeaaahhhhh..." wait, did she just use sarcasm?  On YOU?
"But stil," she spun on a model wheel by the spokes, "Your craftmanship is shaping up to be quite remarkable, even if you are going to use it as a method for self-injury."
>"Heh, well I'm not really trying to be Evel Knievel."
"Who would name their child 'evil'?"
>"Good question, I dunno.  But It's mostly for me to get around the more out of the way parts of Canterlot.  You know, there's still a lot of this city I haven't seen.  This'll make it easier for me to get around without being a pain to the royal carriages."
>Celestia was kind enough to let you reside in Canterlot ever since you arrived in Equestria.  All she asked for was for you to sleep within the castle at nights and write down any and all facts/ruminations/blatant lies you knew of Earth and Human history, or whatever thing she found curious.  You were also taking some courses at the university here, and taking some side jobs at metalworking.  You really didn't like being too much of a drain on the Princess's hospitality.  You hoped to make yourself an actual asset one day.
>The Princess of the Night looked curious.
"Anon, if there's anywhere in the city you'd like to visit, it would hardly be a burden to ask of us!  In fact, all of Equestria is open to you, we would be glad to display our kingdom.  You are a guest, after all."
>"I know, Princess.  But you can never get the real feel of a place until you've peddled down the streets, running over every pebble and cobble, you know?  I want to see the alley ways, go under the bridges and run stop signs.  I need to find the best hill in the city to speed down, and figure out what tree has the best shade for water breaks."
>Your words rolled around her head.
>"With this bike here, it's not just about seeing things.  It's getting real personal with the city.  It's like running through blood vessels.  You follow the flow, find the life-lines of the place.  It's experience and all that."
"And this bike...it is the best way to gather this experience?"
>"Probably not, but it's sounds like the most fun right now."
>You fiddle with links of chain.  A yawn escapes from your mouth.  It's getting late.
>"I'm getting pretty close to finishing it.  It's just details, really.  If you'd like, you can be there for the maiden voyage, Princess."
>Her eyes sparkled, just a bit.  It was hard to catch since her mane is always sparkling, but you can tell.
"We would enjoy that, Anon.  And please, call us Luna."
>Oh boy.
>"Okay, okay, Luna.  Yeah.  We'll let you know.  It's gonna be a real rush, let me tell you."  Great.  You were planning on just speeding down through dining hall a few times, but now you'll have to put on a full show.
"I pray that we won't need rush you to a medic.  But I trust you know what you're doing.  Good night, Anon.   We shall see you on the morrow."
>"Yeah, sounds good."  She exits your workshop.  The door closes by her magic.  You look around the room.  The whole place is hot, and smells sweaty from all your exhertion.  Only now you realize how disorganized it is.  Embarassment creeps up to you from your ankles.
>Good God, the fucking Princess was in your filthy hovel.  But she didn't seem disgusted.  She said she'd see you tomorrow.  You flip your pedals around, oddly excited for the sun to rise.


>Two weeks go by. You spot Luna at the breakfast table more often. She smiles a little more broadly when she sees you, and often stops to speak with you in the halls. The subjects varied, simple goodnights/goodmornings, discussions on politics, various studies, her plans for the night sky.
>You really were amazed at how much forethought and planning she needed to put into every night. There were so many variables that needed to be accounted for. Some nights needed to be brighter than others, the moon a certain size, background nebulae needed specific opaqueness. Seasonal changes affected things, certain light cues needed to be hit in order to trigger animal migrations, or give the go ahead for certain crops to be planted, festivals, etc etc.
>"That sounds...very complex, Luna."
"Oh yes. Some nights are easier than others, however. We adore the challenge. Every night needs to be perfect. It is our grandest display, after all."
>Oh hell, she's an ARTIST.
>Some nights when her duties were light, she would stop by your workshop, and review your progress on the bicycle. She would poke and prod around your tools and gears. Every now and again she would just curl up on a bench and read, or watch intently as you worked diligently upon your masterpiece.
>You enjoyed her company. Her interest fueled your own enthusiasm for the project, and made sure you stepped up your game. There were many moments when you were tempted to cut corners on the bike. 'Oh the handles don't need to curve this much. The head doesn't need that much give. Fuck wheels, they can be oval if they want.'
>But then you'd see her in the corner of your vision. You'd look at her and she'd smile softly. You slapped your subconcious. You had an audience, dammit. So your efforts were doubled.
>There was sweat, pinches, and sometimes a few cuts, but it didn't matter.
>This bike was going to be perfect. You really wanted Luna to be impressed. It was really important that she like the bike.
>For some reason.


>Tonight you were working  on the seat.  It requires some stitchwork, which you've never been good at.
>But Luna doesn't need to know.
>She sits by a table, pushing a little model bicycle that you painted across your tools.
>Her hooves scoot it along the edges.  Every now and again she'll envelope it with her magic and flip it, twirling the small bike gently through the air.  She makes quiet 'whooshing' noises.
>It sails throughout the room like a paper airplane.
"Anon?"
>"Hmm?"
"Would it be possible to modify the design so that a pony may ride a bike?"
>Ooh, that was a doozy.
>"I don't see why not.  I'm not quite sure how that would work, to be honest, but I'm sure it can be done.  Why?  You want to go ramping?"
"Not right away."
>"You can fly, right?  A bike would be a bit of a step backwards, wouldn't it?"
"Perhaps not so much, Anon.  When we fly, the whole world seems so small below.  Do not forget, we shepherd the moon from above.  We still see our subjects, but we are not among them.  The way you described riding...'finding the life lines.'  It sounds lovely.  To be part of the pulse of the city, as it were...we would enjoy that.   To find the heart of things.  To journey through it, and be of it."
>"That's a whole lot of dream to put on two wheels, Luna.  I'll promise you this, though, once I finish this thing, and make sure it's not gonna to fall apart and kill me, or anyp0ny else, I'll get right to work on a p0ny-friendly bicycle, just for you.  Just let me know what color you want."
"We eagerly await the day."
>She eyes the model even closer.
"Anon?"
>"Yes?"
"Only one individual may ride the bike at once, correct?"
>"Usually, yes."  You think things over. "But I remember in cheesey romance movies there are always a scene where a couple ride through a park on a really crazy looking bike with two seats.  They have to pedal together and everything.
>You thought of a movie.  You thought of a floating man and a dying machine.  You remembered a song.
"They seemed popular enough, though.  I know a song about them."
"How did the song go?"
>Sing.  It.
>But...but I'm not a good singer!
>SING IT OR ILL GIVE YOU AN ANUERISM!
>"It's called 'Daisy Bell'..."
>You sing it.
>She laughs.
>You turn red.
"That was lovely, Anon.  You sing rather nicely."
>The devil himself would be impressed by how red you are.
>"Th-thanks.  But I'm not actually too sure how bikes-built-for-two work.  I'm still getting the kinks worked out on just a one-seater."
"Oh," she frowns.
>"But not many people actually owned two-person bikes.  They just had to improvise a bit."  You grab for a model and some small wooden figures you had sitting around to demonstrate.  "You scoot up on the seat, or stand up on the pedals and someone else could ride with you.  They'd have to wrap their arms around you.  Hell, the can even sit on the handle,  or someone could sit on your lap...and...uh..."
"Was this another way to impress females?"
>"Sometimes.  This was generally after you impressed them, though.  Hormones would still be involved."  The wooden figures are gingerly set aside.
"At least it sounds like your bones are not at risk."
>Oh there were bones alright.
>Hey-oh!
>"Yes, me and my bones enjoy that part much more, Luna."  She lets out a small giggle and puts the model bike back onto its shelf.
"You make us smile, Anon.  It is a good thing.  We shall see you again.  Good night."
>She closes the door.
>You find yourself squeezing the seat very, very, very hard.
>The stitching comes loose.


>The sun comes up and goes down, only to be replaced by the moon as it is want to do
>You've finished the frame.  It's being painted right now.  Anon-a-Rama will soon be ready for launch.
>Tomorrow will be its official unveiling.
>Or, tomorrow night.  You've informed Luna that the bike will be finished, and she exploded with glee.
>Like, literally, she was so loud you'v suffered temporary hearing loss.
"OH ANON, THE TIMING IS IMPECCABLE!"
>"oh sweet jesus."  You checked to make sure your ears weren't bleeding.
"Anon?  Are you well?"
>"I'm fine.  Just gonna have to watch out for tinnitis the next few days."  You cradle your ears.
"Tomorrow night we have an eclipse scheduled!  We've been preparing it for three months.  Your bike will look lovely against our night sky."  Her wings fluttered and her forehooves raised very slightly off the ground.  "Where do you plan to ride it?  You simply must wait until we raise the moon, so that we may see you."
>"No sweat, Luna.  It'll give me time to make sure everything is working right."  Oh sweet God, you hope everything works out okay.  "I'm planning on taking it out around the north wall of the castle.  There are some decent slopes there, and a few staircases that I can test the shock absorbers on.  After that, well, we'll see."
>She tells you how long she'll be raising the moon and arranging the sky, and promises to meet you at the north wall.  Her mane ripples in excitement, the stars within twinkle even brighter.  You swear you can almost hear it.  You tell her you can't wait.
>She claps her hooves and flies off.
>You're stomach starts to flutter and it won't stop.
>"Oh God."  Oh God.  "Oh God."
"Can I help you, Anon?
>"Oh no Celestia, I didn't mean to call you, sorry."
"That's fine, Anon,"  the other princess trots off.
>You had to think.
>You thunk.
>You smile.
>You thought of something.

THE NEXT NIGHT!
>It's finished.  It's red.  It's got a bell.  It's got "Anon-a-Rama" painted on the side in sparkly ass letters.
>You have the biggest boner right now.
>A few of the guards and other p0nies making their nightly rounds  are watching you curiously.  Word of your amazing transportation device made its way around the castle, and you've developed a small fan base.  You feel like you should say something.
>"Hello everyp0ny.  I'm Anon, and this my bike."  You ring the bell.  They ooh and ahh appropriately. "Bike riding is like, a sacred and long-running tradition on my planet, so...um...yeah."  You scratch your ear.  "This is going to be a lot of fun.  Oh, look at that."
>The eclipse has begun.  The p0nies all look upwards and gasp in amazement.
>The moon turned huge.  Like, really fucking huge.  You swear you could throw a rock at it, or climb up there if you had a tall enough ladder.  Then it turned blue.
>But not just any blue.  It was the blue of the clearest lake you've ever seen.  You went to California back on Earth, (fuck Earth, and fuck California) and visted a beach.  You never thought water could be so blue.
>the moon was more blue than that.  It was the blue of summer skies.  It was the blue of electricity, arcing throughout space onto the lone sphere that orbited the planet.  It swirled and pulsed.  You could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.  They really go all out in this place.
>Luna does a good job.  Someone was going to throw a bitching rave party tonight.
"Hello Anon!"
>"Ohhhhjeeeese, I mean hello, Luna."  These alicorns are way too sneaky for their own good.  The p0nies bow reverently.  You point up to the moon, "You really know how to put on a show."
>She stands tall and proud, her mane is absolutely glistening.
"We've had much time to practice, but that was simply the starting act.  I do believe you are the true headliner for tonight."
>You ring your bell twice.  Luna oohs and ahhs appropriately.  She trots around your magnum opus, running her hooves along the rubber handles, nosing at the frame, and appraising your sparkly letters.
"It's truly magnificient.  Not let us see if it rides as well as it looks."
>You sit on the seat.  A million memories come rushing back to you.  Days on training wheels, the bitchfit you threw when your dad took them off and you hit a truck.  Getting back on the bike and making it all the way down the street on your own.  Riding through heavy traffic without a helmet.  Going up and down hills in suburban Ohio (fuck Ohio).  Late evenings through city parks.  Street lights and cool skies.
"Anon?"
>"Hm?  Oh yes, sorry.  Just..." wait a sec.  Do you even remember how to ride a bike?  "getting my bearings."
>You place your foot on the pedal.  Okay.  Whatever you do don't trip.  You place your foot on the other pedal
>You trip.
>"It's okay, just have to adjust the...uh, balancer, that's all," you wave to gasping p0nies.  You steady yourself easily enough, however.  You press down on the pedals and begin to move.
>She flows like butter.
>You do good work, Anon.
>You circle the section of the wall, practicing turns, testing the breaks.  You spice it up by popping a few wheelies, or standing on your seat, pretending to fall asleep while riding.
>They enjoy it well enough.
>The bike skids to a hault.  You look at Luna.  She is enraptured by the soft clinking of the chain, the sound of rubber against stone.  The spinning of wheels and tick of spokes.
>"You wanna ride, Princess?"
>Her eyes light up brighter than the moon.
"We hoped you would ask."

>It took some...effort to get her on the bike comfortably.  It shook unsteadily as she climbed aboard.  You shifted forward on the seat, allowing her to position her haunches on the padding.
>Luna got a bit nervous.  She questioned the sanity of the original designer of the bike, why anyone would want to sit in such a posiiton, and even the awesomeness that was the bikes christening name.  Some of the p0nies giggled.
>Just first time jitters, however.  Once she wrapped her forehooves around you, she quickly acclimated.  She pouted a bit when you told her no magic allowed in order to steady the back.
>That would be cheating.  The guards looked around nervously.  Luna assured them everything would be just fine, perhaps a little too loudly though.  A little way too loudly.
>Oh well.  That moon was pumping some crazy energy into you.  This was gonna be great.
>"Listen, Luna, we're going to head down the walkway and tackle a few of the shorter stairs.  It'll be a bit bumpy, but don't worry.  It's all about riding it out."
"Very well Anon,"  She snuggled into your back.  "I trust you."
>Okay Anon, time to rock.  You start to pedal, and pedal fast.  Luna gives a quick gasp at your acceleration.  You have the dumbest smile on your face.
>You build up even more speed going down the slopes.  The wind was picking up pretty good on the high walls.  Your shirt flapped as you sped.  Shadows from the battlements flew by, casting the two of you in alternate darkness and blue light,  you could hear p0nies cheer and laugh from behind you.
>The first staircase came up.  This only made you a little nervous, but that didn't matter much because oh look your going down the stairs right now!  You grip the bars tightly and let the bike do its own thing.  The front wheel bounces and bounces, not falling apart into a thousand pieces in the slightest bit.
>You clench your teeth.  Luna switches between laughing and screaming, but still holds onto you for dear life.
>Breathing is only slightly difficult.
>You clear the stairs.
>You clear another set of stairs.
"Thrilling Anon, what else can you do?"
>Oh-ho.
>You turn the handles sharply, going into deep swerves, deep left, deep right.  You begin to push it so hard you swear your ear is going to graze the ground.  The girl on your back is loving it.
>What else can you do?
>You see crates on the far side of the wall.
>There is board leaning across them.
>You get the greatest idea in the whole wide world.


>You smile like a madman.
>You pedal fast, faster than any man has ever pedaled in the history of Equestria.
"Anon..."
>"Hmmmmm?"
>"Are you about to?"
>You cackle in response.
"Are there hormones involved?"
>Hormones are always involved.
>You hit the ramp.  It make a satisfying thud as you pull towards the top.  There's very little give to it.  The momentum follows through beautifully.  Luna tightens herself onto you.  Oh, this is great.
>You, Luna, and the bike go flying over the top.
>And then you go over the other side of the wall as well.
>You're really stupid sometimes, you know that.  The light of the moon was screwing with your eyes, obviously.  You thought you had more landing room when you first spotted the ramp.  It angled outward a little bit too much and now you're going sailing a good couple thousand feet over the side of a mountain.
>You're probably gonna hit the ground.  You expect Luna to just let go and fly off any second now, leaving you to smash into the rocks below.  Yup.  You're bike's probably gonna get trashed too.
>You fucking idiot.
>However, Luna does not let go.  While you're busy screaming, she's laughing her tail off.  You then notice how you're not tumbling head over heels, or that the ground isn't doing its top level best to get your head to smash against it.
>You turn your head.  Luna's mane is flowing gracefully against the sky.  Her face is lit up by her moon.  The Princess has her eyes closed and her lips drawn into the most self-satisfied and pleased smile you've ever seen on her.  The fur along her neck ruffles softly.  The wings of the Princess are spread out fully, catching the wind and slowing your decent.  Silhouettes of black feathers against an electric sky distracts you.
>You stop peddling your bike.
>This is when you start to tumble head over ass.  The air starts screaming and everything is just ground, sky, ground, sky, until it all just blurs together.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?"
>"I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW!"
"DID YOU STOP MOVING YOUR LEGS?  WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!"
>"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING US FLY!"
"WE DONT KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING, WE COMMAND YOU TO MOVE YOUR LEGS AGAIN!"
>"OKAY IM SORRY IM STUPID IM MOVING IM MOVING!!!!"
>By some miracle you held onto the bike even as gravity fought you for it.   You swing your legs widly until they catch onto the pedals. You pump your legs again.  Luna's wings spread out once more and the bike makes great banks in the air, eventually righting itself.
>"So you don't know how this is working?"
"Anon, we are just as confused as you."
>The bike drifts across the great mountain and the castle that is built into it.  The guards have rushed to the wall, shouting fearfully.  You and Luna wave at them.  They wave back, greatly relieved.  You hear a few more ponies cheering.
>Thank God.  You really didn't want that to be in the newspapers.  "Stupid Human crashes bike.  It looked dumb anyway."
>You and Luna laugh, nervously at first, but then just for the pleasure of it.  Adrenaline does funny things to people.
>You begin a slow descent towards the cityscape of Canterlot below.