How To Play Video Games In 100 Words


Final Fantasy X-II

Tyler: Don’t do it.

Roy: Come on, I have to.

Tyler: You’ll regret it.

Roy: Will you just leave me be so I can go buy it already?

Tyler: Dude, I’ve read the reviews. It’s a really bad—

Roy: Fuck the reviews! I am a diehard fan and I will not be dissuaded otherwise.
Tyler: You know what? Fine! Go and spend your hard earned money on that piece of crap. I’m going to go home and be loyal to my pokemon.

(Sometime later.)

Roy: Curse you Square Enix! Whhhyyyyyyy would you create this abomination of a game?! Why the hell am I playing Charlie’s Angels?!



Game Developing In Progress

Dante: I hate this fucking game. Why do I have to slash continuously at this stupid bitch who doesn’t know how to die?

Vergil: Who cares about slashing? Whatever happened to being able to take someone out with the mere device of thought? Why can’t they allow the consumer to experience this at the start of the game?

Nero: Stop your bitching. I’d rather just bring them towards me and beat the crap out of them.

Game Developer: We’re done here. We know all that we need to know now. Thank you.

And that’s how Devil May Cry 4 was made.



Resident Evil Train of Thought

Chris: Alright guys, we have to take them out clean this time. No, Ashley, you can’t stay behind. Learn to fend for yourself.

Leon: Yeah, we’re tired of putting up with your bullshit. If you want to attract zombies, then at least make yourself useful and strap a claymore to your chest.

Wesker: I like that idea. I think she’ll make a fine meal for our guests.

Chris: You shut your mouth. Remember, we still have some unfinished business.

Ashley: Hey guys, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, bad the zombies are crowding us now.

In Unison except for Ashley: Fuck this game.




It should be noted that in order to fully grasp this piece, one must become familiar with the characters that are being talked about.



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