I am hanging on off a train bridge and i cant pull myself up i am not strong enough so i just hang there in the middle of the night. Wondering if someone will come and pull me up hoping and praying for a miracle. Pondering on the past thinking how shitty this has been and this is the way i go out! I just hang there for a few hours and notice dawn is approaching. The sun is coming up and i look down and i am only a few feet off the ground and so i let go and landed safely.  The man who told me this story was my Grandpa and when he told me it was the first time i experienced homelessness. He was a wealthy man and his metaphor didn't sink in with me until his death. The last thing he told me before he died was hang in there. So after he died i started to think about other things i have been told. Lets go visit Grandma for minute in this letter. Once upon a time in the land of onions and Sage i was told a few things inside her house that have stuck with me. Sitting in a living room with vaulted ceilings this house was amazing it was only temporary. I was told to never go to Grandma for help to pay taxes she told me to never come to her if i needed bail to get out of jail. I got my drivers license and asked her if i could drive her car as everyone that age does. Her response was "not until your in your mid 30's" she told me an exact age but i cant remember it. Shes in her late 70's now and i would love to see her. But i cannot for there is Gandalf saying you shall not enter! Another thing i was told me in that creepy old haunted house is that is that i would never be homeless because i feared even back then that it is a reality. I left never to return to that house. Mom had a pretty nice house at that time and still does but a newer one today. Grandma downsized to a smaller house but its still pretty nice. I met Senator Mike Gavels daughter at Occupy Eugene she told me she is a wealth management consultant. I told my Grandpa that and he asked me if i got her card cause i am going to need it. So i got a little mad because i ended up homeless and i am still homeless to this day. Sitting in a grocery store loitering off there wifi. I am not a happy camper and have not been one for a a while now. Most people out in the public are zombies. Dad betrayed me while i was homeless no one understands it and its hard to think about. People are strange and i live on the streets that inspired The Simpsons and One Flew Over a Coo coos nest it is not as fun as it sounds. There is such little love anymore in this world pretty soon all love will be lost and without love we don't enjoy life. I love my parents i wholeheartedly wish things could have been different. Its not all my fault like some would like to make me believe.