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The Butler Café

Dec 3rd, 2014
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  1. "Welcome home Mistress!"
  2.  
  3. >You and a hand full of other guys shout in unison at your newest guest.
  4. >A LizardGirl just walked in, donning a heavy coat and a thick brimmed hat in an attempt to hide herself.
  5. >Although it does nothing to hide her tail, so she's instantly recognizable.
  6. >You wonder why she even bothers, almost every girl in the city comes to these places.
  7. >She flashes an awkward smile, mumbles a feeble "th-thanks" then goes and sits at her usual table, far at the back, in the corner.
  8.  
  9. "Oh cutie~ Can I get a refill?~"
  10. >A Succubus calls you, shaking the empty glass in her hand, flashing you a trademark grin.
  11. >God you hate this job.
  12. >Obviously, working at a Butler Café wasn't your first occupational choice, but it's the only job you could get in this city with your skill set.
  13. >That skill set being "Has a penis" and not much else.
  14. >Luckily it's enough to get you by, and the tips are pretty decent.
  15. >But to get those tips? That's another story.
  16. >You walk over to the Succubus, trying your hardest to retain a sophisticated demeanour.
  17. >Straight back, warm smile, just how they like it.
  18. "Certainly Miss, I'll just get that for you"
  19. >You turn to leave, but something holds you back.
  20. >She's wrapped her tail around your wrist and is eyeing up at you seductively.
  21. >Oh great, here we go.
  22. >You do your best to retain your fake composure.
  23. "Miss, please do not touch the staff while-"
  24. >She cuts you off with a giggle.
  25. "I'm only teasing you cutie, now go on, off you pop"
  26. >She releases your from her grasp and you quickly go before she can get you again.
  27. "And be quick about it" she calls to you with a wink.
  28.  
  29. >How about I quickly piss in it, how does that sound?
  30. >Actually, given her depravity, she'd probably enjoy that.
  31. >You fill her drink from the kitchen, sans special ingredients, and bring it back to her table.
  32. "There you go Miss, can I get you anything else?"
  33. >She pretends to ponder for a minute, twirling her finger through her silver hair.
  34. "How much for a slice of you, cutie pie?" She says, pointing at you.
  35. >You do your best fake laugh.
  36. "I don't think that's on the menu Miss, but if you need anything else be sure to tell me"
  37. >You go to leave again, but she grabs you by the collar and pulls you down to her eye level.
  38. "Now, now, don't be so eager to leave me all alone. Can't a girl have a little fun?"
  39. >She's still giving you those sickeningly lewd eyes, causing you to sweat profusely.
  40. "M-miss, I really need to a-attend to the other customers"
  41. >You try and pull away but she just pulls you even closer, now whispering in your ear
  42. "Aww, that's no fun, I don't want to share you~"
  43. >Her hot breath tickles your face, making you squirm, to her great pleasure.
  44. >After a few more intense moments of her grasp, she finally lets you go.
  45. >You stand up and quickly brush yourself down.
  46. "Now, Miss, I really must go."
  47. >You give her a bow, but as you do, you feel a chilly breeze down below.
  48. >Looking down, to your horror, your trousers are now sitting around your ankles.
  49. >You regret wearing your red and white polka dot boxers today.
  50. >All around, various girls are staring at you in your half naked glory.
  51. >A Kraken is violating you with her eyes, and an Oomukade got a nosebleed.
  52. >You quickly pull your trousers back up and run to the staff room, trying to hide your intense embarrassment.
  53. >You look over your shoulder to see the Succubus, your belt in her hand, and a shit eating grin on her face.
  54. >Fuck this job.
  55.  
  56. >In the staff room, you find yourself a spare belt and try and regain your composure.
  57. >Something scratches in your pants, and you reach in to find a twenty Dollar bill.
  58. >You sigh to yourself and put it away.
  59. >The things you do for money...
  60.  
  61. >Once you feel brave enough, you step back out to the dining area.
  62. >Almost instantly, a P'Orc shouts you over to her table.
  63. "Oi, skinny boy, c'mere a sec!"
  64. >She spits whatever she's eating all over as she talks.
  65. >You take a deep breath and make your way over
  66. >Let's get this over with.
  67. "Hello Miss, how can I help you today?"
  68. >She keeps stuffing her face, forgetting she even called you.
  69. >After waiting a few moments for a reply that never comes, you pipe up again.
  70. "Um, Miss?"
  71. >She gives a surprised "Oink" and looks up at you in disbelief.
  72. "Yeah, what?"
  73. >You fight the intense urge to sigh at her stupidity.
  74. "You called me over Miss, how can I help you today?"
  75. >She ponders for a minute while chewing on something absent-mindedly.
  76. "Oh yeah. Right, I want more of your meaty balls"
  77. >She glances at your crotch and licks her lips.
  78. >You feel heat rising in your cheeks as you write down her order.
  79. "Anything else Miss?"
  80. "Ice cream sundae, actually make it three"
  81. >Looking at the empty dishes piled up at her table, she's already had at least a dozen.
  82. "And what sauces would you like on those, Miss?"
  83. >She leans back in her seat, which creaks under her weight.
  84. "Dunno, what sauces ya got?"
  85. >Dammit you fat pig, you know damn well what sauces we have, don't make me read them out.
  86. "W-well, there's "Shota surprise", "Rapeberry Ripple" and we.. w-"
  87. >Your voice falls to a mumble, begging she won't don't make you continue.
  88. "Sorry, what was that last one?" She asks with a smirk.
  89.  
  90. "We..., dre..."
  91. "Sorry, WHAT?"
  92. >You take a deep breath and try to say, as professionally as possible;
  93. "Wet dream, Miss, it's called "Wet dream"."
  94. >She bellows with laughter, with intermittent Oinks throughout.
  95. "Yeah, sure, gimme three wet dreams, skinny boy"
  96. >You gulp hard as you write it down on your notepad.
  97. >Curse whoever named this awful menu.
  98. >You go the kitchen once again and get her order, bringing back to her table when it ready.
  99. >You haven't even let go of the dishes before she's started stuffing her face again.
  100. >She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a few dollar bills, not once looking away from her meal.
  101. "F'anks, skinny boy"
  102. >She slams them into your hand.
  103. "Run along now" She snorts, patting your ass as you leave.
  104.  
  105. >Just as you start to recover from that ordeal, you get stopped again.
  106. >A Tentacle grabbed you by the arm as you walked past.
  107. >You trace it back to it's owner, a Tentacle-girl with countless more of the things.
  108. >She nervously looks down, a bright red blush on her face.
  109. "Miss, please could you remove your appendage from my arm?"
  110. >She jumps at your voice and quickly releases you from her grasp.
  111. >A sticky residue covers your arm, which you do your best to ignore.
  112. "S-sorry, I got too excited, I didn't mean to bother you, sorry..."
  113. >She shyly taps two tentacles together in embarrassment.
  114. >For a sickening, perverted, man eating abomination, she's pretty cute.
  115. "It's not a problem, Miss, how can I be of service?"
  116. >She visibly shudders at the word "Service".
  117. "Umm, well I, uh"
  118. >Her eyes dart about the Café, as she stutters out her barely audible nonsense.
  119.  
  120. "...today's my birthday..."
  121. >She points one her many slimy limbs at a poster on the wall.
  122. >"Ask about our Birthday specials"
  123. >Your heart sinks when you remember what that entails.
  124. >After the day you've had, you'd very much prefer not to do this.
  125. "Certainly Miss, which Butler would you like to see in his "Birthday Suit" today?"
  126. >You hope to all the gods that she doesn't choose you.
  127. "Umm, you, please"
  128. >She chose you.
  129. "You're the cutest" she quietly adds.
  130. >You internally make a revenge plan to the Gods for forsaking you today.
  131.  
  132. >The "Birthday Suit" consists of nothing but a collar, cuffs, and assless chaps.
  133. >You step out of the dressing room, cake in hand, ass bare to the world.
  134. >Your co-workers give you knowing looks, each and every one glad it isn't him in the suit.
  135. >As you approach her table, the burn of one thousand stares on your back, you start to sing.
  136. "Happy Birthday to you~"
  137. >This is so degrading.
  138. "Happy Birthday to you!"
  139. >Please, make it stop.
  140. "Happy Birthday, dear Mistress"
  141. >When will it end?
  142. "Happy Birthday to you~"
  143. >You place the cake on her table, but she's too busy staring at you to notice it.
  144. >Her mouth is agape as she observes every inch of your scantily clad being.
  145. >She's drooling out of every one of her tentacle-orifices.
  146. >You dread to think how long that'll take to clean up.
  147. "Have a wonderful Birthday, Miss, enjoy your cake."
  148. >She's too stunned with lewd thoughts to reply, and you make your escape back to the staff room.
  149.  
  150. >As you struggle to regain your breath, collapsed on the staff sofa, you take a quick glance at the clock.
  151. >12:32
  152. >You're still on duty for another five hours.
  153.  
  154. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  155.  
  156.  
  157. >Another day working at the Butler-Café...
  158. >The place is packed today, girls of all varieties filling the tables.
  159. >You're carrying a heavy tray, loaded high with beverages.
  160. >You drop them off at each table with a practised routine, not giving any opening for a customer to grab you.
  161. "Here's your "Tender Loving" Miss."
  162. "And a "Gropefruit punch" for you, please enjoy!"
  163. >The Minotaur you're serving tries to call you back, but you've already made it to the other side of the room.
  164. >Sorry Miss, no shenanigans today, I've got a schedule to keep.
  165. >You continue your route at a brisk pace.
  166. >You're on such a good roll, you didn't notice your imminent doom fast approaching.
  167. >That doom being a careless Wurm's huge tail.
  168. >You trip and fall, face first, onto the floor.
  169. >Drinks spill everywhere, making a huge mess of both the Café and your clothing.
  170. >You struggle to your feet and quickly set about picking up the glasses.
  171. "I am very sorry Miss, please forgive my clumsiness."
  172. >She doesn't respond, which makes you very nervous.
  173. >Having an angry Wurm tear up the place would be much less than ideal.
  174.  
  175. >You pluck up enough courage to look up from the floor.
  176. >To your surprise, however, you are met with a face of arousal, not anger.
  177. >The Wurm is staring at your chest with a lewd expression, tongue dangling out of her grinning mouth.
  178. >You glance down to see what she's so happy about.
  179. >The accident has left your shirt soaking wet, and VERY sticky.
  180. >It's gone incredibly see through, and is clinging to your body.
  181. >You slowly look up again, trying to retain some level of formality.
  182. >The Wurm has moved closer to you, stretching herself forward to ogle you as best she can.
  183. >You rise to your feet and quickly try to make an escape.
  184. "I am so sorry Miss, I'll get you a replacement right away"
  185. >Unfortunately, you weren't fast enough, she's already coiled herself around you, all the way up to the waist.
  186. "No need, I'll just take this one"
  187. >She pulls you up against her, and proceeds to lick you clean, down to the very last drop.
  188.  
  189. >You really need a raise.
  190.  
  191. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  192.  
  193.  
  194. >Another degrading day at the Butler-Café.
  195. >It's business as usual, luckily not too busy either.
  196. >Other than getting into an argument with an Oni when you rudely refused to show her your underwear, it's been rather event free.
  197. >Heh, maybe you'll get away without any mishap-
  198. "Oh Darling~ Could you come over here please?~"
  199. >Oh fuck.
  200. >It's her.
  201. >You freeze in place as if you'd just seen a Cockatrice.
  202. >That overly loving voice, that ridiculous level of attachment, that god damn "Darling"
  203. >There's no mistaking it's her.
  204. "Darling? Please don't ignore me, I'm getting lonely over here without you~"
  205. >You swallow hard, and slowly trudge over to her table.
  206. >She watches you the entire time, eyes not blinking once as she follows your every step.
  207. >Her face shows nothing but love and admiration, but her front legs tap impatiently on the table.
  208. >You dread to think what goes on in that mind of hers, what insane delusions she holds about you.
  209. >Ever since you accepted those socks she made you, she acts like the two of you are married.
  210. >You only took them out of courtesy, but to her it's a binding contract.
  211. "Why did you walk over here so slowly, Darling? You should be excited when your Wife comes to visit you at work."
  212. "M-miss, we're not-"
  213. "Oh but you know I love it when you tease me like that, Darling~"
  214. >You nervously look about, trying to find an escape option that wont end with her eating you alive.
  215. "What's that look for Darling? You're not scared of your own wife are you?"
  216. >She rests her chin in her palms as she looks up at you.
  217. >You're damn right I'm scared of you, you crazy spider bitch.
  218. >Are all Jurogumo's this nuts? You've only met this one, and she's crackers.
  219. "What are you thinking about Darling? How much you love me? I knew it, you always are so sweet."
  220. "Miss, please don't-"
  221. "How about we go somewhere more private? I want to show you how much you mean to me."
  222.  
  223. "I can't go, I-"
  224. "Then it's settled, let's go right now!"
  225. >She grabs you by the arm and starts dragging you towards the door.
  226. "We're going to have so much fun, just the two of us, What's your favourite position? Any fetishes you want to try? Oh I'm getting all excited just thinking about it."
  227. >You squirm and try to wiggle out of her grasp, but her arms are a vice around you.
  228. >You look around to your co-workers for help, but they've already accepted your demise.
  229. "Nice working with you Anon..." One of them mutters.
  230. >You get nearer and nearer to the exit, her obsessive ramblings not pausing for a second.
  231. "...how many kids do you want to have? I'm not going to be able to refuse you, you know, we're going to end up with so many, but I'll gladly bear them all for you, Darling. I can't wait to show you the love nest I made for us, it's just
  232.  
  233. perfect..."
  234. >As you reach the door, and all hope seems lost, you make one last ditch effort to escape, clutching the door frame with all your might.
  235. >She just keeps walking, stretching your body to it's limit, now dangling limp between her and the door.
  236. >Just when you feel your shoulders dislocating, she stops and looks back at you.
  237. "Please don't fall behind darling, you wouldn't want to delay our destiny any longer."
  238. >Your hand slips from the door frame and you fall flat on the floor with a loud thud.
  239. >She pulls you to your feet and begins meticulously brushing the dirt off you.
  240. >You stand firm, not uttering a word as your head throbs in pain.
  241. >Your feel your fear leave you, making way for seething anger.
  242. "My my, clumsy you, getting all dirty, what am I-"
  243. "MISS!"
  244.  
  245. >It your turn to interrupt her now.
  246. >She blinks at you, dumbfounded by your sudden outburst.
  247. "Yes, Darling?"
  248. >You gather every ounce of courage you can muster.
  249. "I can't go with you, OK? We are NOT a married couple and I am NOT your husband. This is just my job."
  250. >You're left in a fit of panting and sweating.
  251. >She looks at you for a moment, before quickly returning to that loving gaze.
  252. "Oh this is just like you Darling, always such a hard worker, I know you do it for me."
  253. >Your anger dissipates, replaced now with profound confusion.
  254. "I'll let you get back to work, but come straight home when you're done, you hear me? I'll get everything prepared for you~"
  255. >And with that, she scuttles off to god knows where, not even waiting for a reply.
  256.  
  257. >As you try to collect your thoughts, you turn back to the Café.
  258. >A poster is taped to the window.
  259. "New Butler wanted, no experience necessary. Must be this cute to apply"
  260.  
  261. >Below it, is a picture of your face.
  262.  
  263. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  264. >Meanwhile, at the Butler café...
  265.  
  266. >You're cleaning up a slime trail that some Slug Girl left in here earlier.
  267. >The stuff gets everywhere, and is a right pain to mop up.
  268. >But mop you do, back and forth, over and over, trying to get every last goop patch.
  269. >As your mopping takes you around the dining area, you come across a face you don't recognize.
  270. >To your surprise, a Kikimora is here.
  271. >They look very different out of their usual maid attire.
  272. >She smiles warmly at you.
  273. >It's a pleasant change to meet a customer who doesn't try and grope you the moment they see you.
  274. "Hello there Miss, I hope you're enjoying your visit today, is there anything I can get for you?"
  275. "I'm having a lovely time, thank you, but could I just ask one small favour? If it's not too much trouble that is"
  276. >She points to a stain on the table.
  277. "Could you clean that up for me?"
  278. >Normally, this is when you begin panicking at what ulterior and lewd motives she has in store for you.
  279. >But she seems honest enough, and what's the worst a KikiMora can do?
  280. "Certainly Miss, I'll have that sorted right away."
  281. >You grab a cloth and spray bottle from your cleaning trolley and set to work.
  282. >A quick splash and a wipe and it should be gone.
  283. >Unfortunately, after several attempts, the mess remains.
  284. "...Harder..." You hear her whisper.
  285.  
  286. "Excuse me?"
  287. >She quickly smiles, "You need to scrub it harder, Dearie, you'll never get rid of it otherwise"
  288. >You do as you're told, and begin scrubbing the stain harder.
  289. >But try as you may, it stubbornly remains.
  290. >You pick up the pace, no dirt is going to get the best of you.
  291. "...yeah that's it, faster...keep going...scrub it!" She whispers again, now a little louder.
  292. >It's a little off putting, but you keep going.
  293. >What on earth is this stuff? It really won't come off.
  294. >You scrub with all your might, determined to get rid of it.
  295. >You hear her start breathing more heavily.
  296. "...keep going...don't stop scrubbing..."
  297. >It's at this point you notice that only one of her hands is visible.
  298. >You're incredibly creeped out, but you fear a much worse fate if you stop now.
  299. >Obeying her command, you continue scrubbing as instructed.
  300. >Scrubbing side to side, scrubbing in circles, scrubbing up and down.
  301. >The whole time, she's egging you on and panting hard.
  302. >Finally, you see the mess start to disappear.
  303. >She's practically hyperventilating now, and a little drool trickles down her chin.
  304. >With one final scrub, the last of the stain is removed, and the table is spotless.
  305. >She gasps loudly, then shudders in her set and let's out a long sigh.
  306. >She sits there for a few moments, regaining her breath.
  307. >Then, as casual as can be, she wipes her hands on a napkin, brushes herself down and stands up.
  308. "Thank you very much, Dearie"
  309. >She places a few notes on the table, gives you a bow, and leaves without another word.
  310. >You take a look at her now empty seat.
  311.  
  312. >Great, now you've got another mess to clean up.
  313.  
  314. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  315.  
  316. >One ordinary day at Butler-Café...
  317.  
  318. >You just got done explaining to a Minotaur that the "Shota surprise" ice cream does not, in fact contain actual Shotas, much to her dismay.
  319. >You quickly excuse yourself, eager to end this conversation, and continue your rounds around the Café.
  320. >Unfortunately, it's not long before you find yourself grabbed again.
  321. >A large, furry claw has quite painfully grabbed your arm, keeping you from going anywhere.
  322. "Hey there handsome, where are you going in such a hurry?"
  323. >The claw belongs to an Ushi-Oni, whose massive body barley fits at even the Café's largest booth.
  324. "It's rude to ignore a lady when she talks to you, ya'know?"
  325. >You're not sure you'd describe this monstrosity as “A Lady” but decide not to argue about it.
  326. "M-miss, please don't touch the staff while they're working"
  327. >You sheepishly point at a sign on the wall.
  328. >Her response is to simply laugh in your face.
  329. >She rips the sign off the wall in a single motion, and turns back to face you, triumphantly grinning.
  330. "You we saying?"
  331. >A shiver flows down your spine, which just makes her grin harder.
  332. "Why don't you take a seat? You must be getting awfully tired being on your feet all day, and I could use the company~"
  333. >Her words would be a lot more comforting coming from anyone else, and you really don't want to do this, but something tells you you don't really have a choice.
  334. >You silently slide onto the seat opposite her, shaking so much you could measure it on a seismograph.
  335. >She takes great pleasure in watching you squirm and quiver, not uttering a word and simply watching you with a sultry face.
  336. >After what feels like hours, she breaks the silence, but you wish she hadn't.
  337. "You know, I've been watching you for a while, I've seen how you act around the other girls, how you pretend you're not interested when they try and make you theirs."
  338. >She swirls the ice around her drink as she talks, resting her head in her other hand.
  339.  
  340. "It's very rude of you to do that, but I can understand..."
  341. >She leans forwards as she continues.
  342. "...a boy as handsome as you should only get the best girl around, right?"
  343. >Smirking wildly, she takes a sip of her drink.
  344. "And that's where I come in. You see, these other girls, they don't know how to properly catch a man. You have to be assertive, if you're messing about with shit like "consent" you've already lost."
  345. >You're getting very nervous now, your eyes dart about, looking for a way out of this prison.
  346. "So, what time does your shift end? Actually, scratch that, let's just go now, you're OK with that, aren't you?"
  347. >You feebly try and murmur out some form of resistance, but she just laughs at you again.
  348. "Oh my, it's funny how you think you have a choice in the matter."
  349. >And with that, she grabs you from your seat, ties you up in her webbing and throws you over her shoulder.
  350. >Your life flashes before your eyes as you can only imagine what horrors she has in store for you and your poor pelvis.
  351. >She carries you effortlessly, unbothered by your pathetic attempts at escape.
  352. >One of your co-workers is brave enough to stand in her path.
  353. "Miss, I'm sorry but you're going to have to put him down-"
  354. >That's as far as he gets before he is swatted aside into a nearby table.
  355. >It really looks like this might be the end for you.
  356. "What's all the racket out there?" Calls a very angry sounding voice.
  357. >The staff room door violently swings open, revealing your boss, Ms. Krabs, looking exceptionally pissed off.
  358.  
  359. >She takes one look at you, then at the Ushi-Oni, and sighs in annoyance.
  360. "Are you gonna pay for that?"
  361. >The Ushi mumbles under her breath as she fumbles through her pockets for cash, pulling out only a few measly bills.
  362. "Ah well" She says with a shrug "Maybe next time"
  363. >She dumps you on the floor without a care and scuttles outside.
  364. "And don't come back till you pay off your tab, ya hear?" Ms. Krabs shouts out the door, waving both fist and claw.
  365. "Damn cheapskate" She mutters to herself.
  366. >She looks down on you in your sorry state.
  367. "How many times are you gonna let yourself get kidnapped?"
  368. >She scuttles up to you and snips you free of your webbed bindings.
  369. >You lay sprawled out on the floor, gasping for breath and unable to move after this horrifying encounter.
  370. "Now get up, I don't pay you to sit around"
  371. >She walks off, leaving you in a heap on the ground.
  372. "And clean this mess up" She calls back, before disappearing into her office.
  373.  
  374. >This really hasn't been your week.
  375.  
  376. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  377.  
  378. >Day XX at the Butler Café.
  379.  
  380. >In order to strum up more business, Ms. Krabs had the idea of hosting children’s birthday parties.
  381. >You are currently catering to one right now, being unlucky enough that they chose you as their Butler-on-call.
  382. >A table full of Baphomet's, Witches and their familiars follow your every movement with wide eyes, hiding their wicked desires behind sweet innocent faces.
  383. >They aren't fooling anyone, least of all you. But as Ms. Krabs always would say; "Even an insane cult's money is good money."
  384. "Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Come here Onii-chan!" Shouts one particular Baphomet, frantically waving at you and leaning across the table to get your attention.
  385. >You've already given up on getting them to stop calling you "Onii-chan".
  386. >You bite your tongue and stumble over to see what inane thing she wants you to do this time.
  387. "Yes miss? How can I help you?"
  388. >She tilts her head sideways and gazes at you quizzically.
  389. "That's a strange nickname to call your Imoto, Onii-chan."
  390. >You resist the urge to groan at her façade.
  391. "Fine. How can I help you, Imoto?" You say rather bluntly.
  392. >Her face falls to a frown, her lips quivering as a small tear drop begins to form in her eye.
  393. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad, Onii-chan, please don't be mad with me!" She whimpers with intermittent sniffles.
  394. >It's so blatantly fake, but you dread to think how far she'll go with this act, and decide it's better to just go along with it.
  395. >You swallow any last shred of pride you had left and do your best big brother voice.
  396. "Don't worry sis', I'm not mad, really! Please don't cry."
  397. >Your smile is so fake it's painful to keep up.
  398. >She notices you twitch in discomfort, and you see a little devious sparkle in her eye.
  399. >Her mood improves instantly, and she's back to her sickeningly sweet smile.
  400. >She picks her bowl up from the table and shoves it in front of you.
  401. "My soup is too hot Onii-chan! Can you blow on it for me?"
  402.  
  403. >You stifle yet another urge to yell at her and do as you're told, gently blowing on her soup, taste testing it to make sure you've done a sufficient job.
  404. >Once you're satisfied that she can't possibly complain about the temperature of this soup, you hand it back to her and she quickly takes a spoonful.
  405. "Thanks! You're the best, Onii-chan!"
  406. >She hugs your waist with a freakishly strong grip, leaving you helpless until she releases you.
  407. >When she finally lets you go, you practically sprint away from her before she gets a chance to grab you again.
  408. >Though you only get a short distance before another set of little hands get their filthy grasp on you.
  409. >A familiar tugs at your shirt, gazing up at you with a look of sheer admiration.
  410. >Though it does nothing but infuriate you, since you know what's coming next.
  411. "Onii-chan!" She squeaks.
  412. "What is it sis'? What can your big bro Anon do you for you?"
  413. >Every word of this nonsense that you have to spew is like a slap across the face.
  414. >She extends her arms upwards towards you.
  415. "Carry me Onii-chan! I want a piggy back ride!"
  416. >She flexes her little hands for emphasis.
  417. >You smile nervously as you try and think of a way out of this, beads of sweat beginning to trickle down your forehead.
  418. >Your eyes dart about the Café for an escape, but all you find is the stern face of Ms. Krabs, watching your performance intently from afar.
  419. >She doesn't move an inch, her expression telling you everything you need to know.
  420. >Reluctantly, you turn your back to the familiar and crouch down to her level.
  421. "H-here you go sis', hop on."
  422.  
  423. >She doesn't even wait for you to finish before she throws herself onto your back with absolutely no grace at all, the force almost knocking you over.
  424. >You shakily stand upright and proceed to give her a ride around the dining area, while she giggles and makes aeroplane noises.
  425. >Customers stare at you with looks ranging from belittlement to disgust.
  426. >You'd be embarrassed, but you've long since passed the point of caring.
  427. >After a few laps of the Café you bring her back to her seat and set her down.
  428. "Hahaha! You're so fun Onii-chan!"
  429. >You mumble under your staggered breath as you turn away from her.
  430. >Only to see at least twenty other little girls now transfixed on you.
  431. >The Witch in front of you pipes up.
  432. "Can I have a turn now Onii-chan?"
  433. >With that, the whole table erupts to a choir of high pitched yelling, as each and every girl begs for it to be their turn after.
  434.  
  435. >You're getting too old for this shit.
  436.  
  437. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  438.  
  439. >It was a dark and stormy night at Butler Café...
  440.  
  441. >OK, it was 6:30, and it was only raining a little.
  442. >You were on duty for closing up shop tonight, leaving you all alone.
  443. >The dimly lit Café takes on an eerie vibe once devoid of all it's usual perverted visitors.
  444. >Luckily, you have almost finished your duties for the night, mopping the last few patches of floor, ready for tomorrow.
  445. >Your work is interrupted by the sound of the front doors opening.
  446. >Ms. Krabs, the owner of the Café and therefore your boss, scuttles in.
  447. >Her appearance is a lot more laid back than the norm, her tie pulled up around her head, and the top few buttons of her shirt undone.
  448. >Water is dripping off her carapace and onto the floor that you had just cleaned, but you don't dare to complain.
  449. >She shuffles her way over to you with an even more awkward gait than usual.
  450. >You straighten your back to attention, preparing for one of her usual rants.
  451. >But strangely, her tone takes on a much more friendly manner.
  452. "'ello Nonnymush, workin' hard as usual I see. You're such a good boy, and jus' so cute, too!"
  453. >Hearing your employer talk like this is downright terrifying.
  454. >By her slurred speech, bright rosy cheeks, and the horrible stench on her breath, it's clear that she's been drinking heavily tonight.
  455. "Th-thanks. H-hey, are you okay, Miss?"
  456. >You've never seen her in this state before, and those two huge pincers of hers are looming dangerously close to you.
  457. "Yeesh, I'm fine, jus' fiiine. Much better now that you're here though."
  458. >She throws herself towards you, and you struggle to stay upright.
  459. >She wraps both her human and her crab arms around your torso, gripping you tightly in a crushing vice.
  460. "Do ya' have to call me "Miss" all the time? Surely we're friends by now, right?"
  461. >Considering she's in a prime position to snap you in half right now, you don't disagree.
  462. >You keep your hands firmly to yourself, frozen in the air at your sides.
  463. >Ms. Krabs nuzzles her face into your chest as she continues her drunken ramblings.
  464. "You like me, don't ya' Anon? You wouldn't stand me up and leave all alone would you?"
  465. >You weakly nod along with everything she says.
  466. "No of course you wouldn't, a nice, cute boy like you wouldn't do anythin' like that to me."
  467. >It is at this point that you notice your shirt is getting wet.
  468. >Is she crying?
  469. >Crap. Maybe you should try and comfort her a little, she may be your slave driving boss, but she's still a person after all.
  470. >You bring your arms around her and begin stroking her back, quietly shushing her whimpers.
  471. >You have no experience in this, but it seems to be doing the trick, and her sniffling slowly begins to subside.
  472. >She brings her head up to look at you, her eyes puffy and sore, gazing into yours with an almost child-like admiration.
  473. "A-anon?" She whispers.
  474. "Yes?"
  475. >There is a moment of complete silence.
  476. "Let's do it."
  477.  
  478. >And just like that, she's pushed you to the floor and is now straddling you.
  479. >A thick stream of bubbly fluid is gushing out from below her waist, soaking you all over.
  480. >Your shouts of protest are completely ignored as her claws fumble about with your shirt buttons.
  481. >She quickly grows impatient and opts to simply tear the offending garment off of you with one swift swipe of her pincer.
  482. >She then sits herself upright, surveying your exposed body.
  483. "Isn't thish exciting? It's so naughty, I bet yuv' been thinkin' 'bout this since day one, I know I 'av."
  484. >Her human hands knead into your flesh, feeling over every inch of you.
  485. >Shivers crawl all along your spine, you know how wrong this is but you can't find any way out of it.
  486. >She begins to lean in closer to you.
  487. >Her face creeps nearer and nearer to your own, her hot breath growing stronger as it caresses your cheeks.
  488. >She stops mere inches from you, pausing for just a moment to look you in the eye.
  489. >Then her eyelids slowly shut and her mouth opens, as she begins to close the last few millimetres of distance.
  490. >You thrash about wildly in an attempt to escape, but you are firmly locked in position.
  491. >You shut your eyes tight and wait for it all to be over, knowing she'll kill you in the morning.
  492. >But after waiting a few moments, the horrible deed never happens.
  493. >A heavy weight falls onto your shoulder.
  494. >She's fallen asleep on top of you, and is now snoozing happily, a small trail of drool beginning to emerge from the corner of her mouth.
  495. >Looks like you'd better get comfy, you're going to be spending the night here.
  496.  
  497. >Tomorrow morning comes around, and you wake up sprawled out on the floor.
  498. >There is a distinct absence of drunk Crab-girl on your chest as you sit upright and try and get your bearings.
  499. >You notice a new shirt has been draped over your torso.
  500. >Stumbling to your feet, you make your way over to the counter to look for Ms. Krabs.
  501. >Goddess knows what last night was about, but she's surely pissed at you.
  502. >You look all around but can't see any sight of her.
  503. >In your search you find an envelope on a table near you, that simply reads "Anon."
  504. >You slowly open it and pull out it's contents.
  505. >There's cash inside, and a very short note.
  506. >"Here's that raise you wanted, but mention a word of this to anyone and I'll rip your guts out."
  507. >You gulp at the last part, she probably isn't exaggerating.
  508. >On closer inspection, you notice something else written at the bottom.
  509. >In tiny, barely legible lettering, it simply reads:
  510.  
  511. >"Thank you."
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