Drugs I'll Never Try

The worst part about being 25 is that I’m running out of drugs to swear I’ll never try. I’m afraid to say I’ll never try heroin because declaring I’ll never do a drug seems to be the first step towards trying it once or twice. One drug I’ve never done is cocaine, but it’s not because I wouldn’t do it if somebody were to offer me any…it’s just that nobody has ever thought to offer me any. Well, someone maybe thought about it once, but then realized that somehow it would make me talk even more and so they thought better of it and tried to give me a xanax instead. Ah xanax. I feel like I’ve had some good times on xanax, but how would I know?