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mellowhi

Harvey Enters with Dora the Explorer

mellowhi
Dec 24th, 2015
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  1. [22:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, you see the things described previously on your computer
  2. [22:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> it still says -- WORLD FOUND. ESTABLISHING SERVER CONNECTION.... --
  3. [22:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran, your conversation with ?? abruptly closes.
  4. [22:55] * SeriousSalamander silently waits until someone initiates contact with him
  5. [22:55] <@Aberrant[DM]> In the window behind it, you see a program you either forgot or didn't realize in the first place you had open.
  6. [22:56] * SeriousSalamander continues to silently wait until someone initiates contact
  7. [22:56] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see what seems to be a large gray stone circle in the middle of your screen.
  8. [22:57] <@Aberrant[DM]> Music begins playing out of your speakers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoaCtaBTvk4
  9. [22:57] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems a lot.... less lame than the usual UNOnline music.
  10. [22:57] <@Aberrant[DM]> While whatever the fuck this is loads, you go over to your window to check on the explosion.
  11. [22:57] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems it accomplished its goal.
  12. [22:57] <@Aberrant[DM]> The deed is done.
  13. [22:58] <@Aberrant[DM]> There is a large charred spot on the ground, surrounded by disembodied limbs and a great deal of blood.
  14. [22:59] <@Aberrant[DM]> Heading back to your computer you look a bit more at the shit that popped up.
  15. [22:59] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((I'm going to describe things pretty generally because of how it seems Bekran would care about things, but if there's anything Bekran wants to look more at, just say so and I'll give a more detailed response))
  16. [23:00] <Bekran> ((i guess you haven't taken the time to read my shit ass posts))
  17. [23:00] <@Aberrant[DM]> There's this big stone circle in the middle with a bunch of square medallions on it. White and gray arrows go around the circle counterclockwise connecting the medallions.
  18. [23:00] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see yours on the left of the circle, glowing slightly.
  19. [23:01] <Bekran> ((i dont know why but i decided to not use vulgarity))
  20. [23:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((no, Roo didn't tell me anything other than Bekran was good to go now))
  21. [23:01] <Bekran> ((but roo wont let me do that))
  22. [23:01] <Bekran> ((so theres the constant))
  23. [23:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> On the left you see a big huge list of usernames
  24. [23:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> You minda maybe recognize some of them from your guild but who really cares all that much
  25. [23:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> Most of them are green, but there's a couple at the bottom that are red.
  26. [23:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> the red ones say "Offline" and the green ones say "Online - In game"
  27. [23:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> Looks like the medallion labelled "mercurialHermit" has an arrow pointing from it to yours, and you have an arrow pointing from yours to "seriousSalamander".
  28. [23:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> There's a chat box at the bottom with a single game message in it.
  29. [23:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> -- SEARCHING FOR AVAILABLE WORLD.... --
  30. [23:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> It soon changes
  31. [23:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> -- SERVER CONNECTION ESTABLISHED. --
  32. [23:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, you receive the same message.
  33. [23:04] <@Aberrant[DM]> Both of your screens go black and a single chat window pops up, saying you have begun conversing with the other.
  34. [23:04] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, counter to what happened earlier when you were playing with Morden and epic music played, you find completely inappropriate music begins coming form your speakers.
  35. [23:05] <@Aberrant[DM]> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXOfYH9hWFs
  36. [23:05] <SeriousSalamander> "based on experience, a meteor is most likely going to impact my home soon"
  37. [23:05] <@Aberrant[DM]> A very girly voice which you recognize as that of "Dora the Explorer" speaks to you, Harvey.
  38. [23:06] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((in general, for both of you, put chat messages in quotes, out of game comments in double parens, and actions can just be normal text))
  39. [23:06] * SeriousSalamander immediately puts his computer on mute
  40. [23:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> The music and voice continue regardless.
  41. [23:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> "Let's Play!!!!"
  42. [23:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> "I'm so excited to have some fun with you!!!"
  43. [23:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> "We'll all make so many friends!"
  44. [23:07] * SeriousSalamander gouges out the speaks with his karambit
  45. [23:07] <SeriousSalamander> ((I mean speakers))
  46. [23:07] <Bekran> ((karambit))
  47. [23:08] <@Aberrant[DM]> The sound goes silent.
  48. [23:08] <Bekran> ((you...have a karambit?))
  49. [23:08] <SeriousSalamander> ((Yes, I think it's BLADEKIND))
  50. [23:08] <@Aberrant[DM]> The chat window remains.
  51. [23:08] <Bekran> ((...well that wouldn't really make sense, considering how you use a karambit))
  52. [23:09] <Bekran> ((i mean silat's not really a bladekind kinda thing))
  53. [23:09] <SeriousSalamander> ((the whole point (hah point) of a karambit is that it's flexible in use))
  54. [23:09] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((https://www.google.com/search?q=karambit&espv=2&biw=1920&bih=947&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjujsa23fPJAhUCWCYKHRz9CrgQ_AUIBygC))
  55. [23:09] <Bekran> ((but that's just shitass indonesia speaking))
  56. [23:09] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((everything there qualifies as a "blade" to me))
  57. [23:09] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((since they all have a blade))
  58. [23:09] <SeriousSalamander> ((it's basically a curved knife held like an icepick))
  59. [23:09] <Bekran> ((eh))
  60. [23:10] <SeriousSalamander> ((bow and arrow was taken))
  61. [23:10] <Bekran> (("based on experience, a meteor is most likely going to impact my home soon" was that in the chatbox?))
  62. [23:10] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((correct))
  63. [23:10] <SeriousSalamander> ((Harvey just helped Morden enter the game))
  64. [23:11] <SeriousSalamander> ((so basically he knows how the routine goes))
  65. [23:12] <SeriousSalamander> ((he has no idea what the devices and sprite actually do, though))
  66. [23:12] <Bekran> Before you type anything, you wonder why your subconscious is always so vulgar. Hmm.
  67. [23:12] <Bekran> Anyway.
  68. [23:12] * SeriousSalamander takes the computer with him, leaves the tree line, and heads to the front entrance to his cave
  69. [23:13] * SeriousSalamander looks up at the sky to look for a meteor
  70. [23:13] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see a clear starry night sky.
  71. [23:13] <Bekran> Is this that world that ?? was talking about?
  72. [23:13] <Bekran> What a waste of time.
  73. [23:13] <SeriousSalamander> "is anyone there. i need to to write this code down"
  74. [23:14] <Bekran> "yes"
  75. [23:14] * SeriousSalamander takes a look at the code on the back of his NECRONOMICON EX-MORTIS captchalogue card for a code
  76. [23:15] * SeriousSalamander types the code into the chat log
  77. [23:15] <Bekran> "this is boring"
  78. [23:15] <Bekran> "what a waste of"
  79. [23:15] <Bekran> "time"
  80. [23:16] <SeriousSalamander> "i dont care how you feel. just write this code down"
  81. [23:16] <SeriousSalamander> "i am about the throw this book into the glowing thing (think its called a sprite) when i see it"
  82. [23:16] <Bekran> "why should i?"
  83. [23:16] <@Aberrant[DM]> The code is 0GL0gOtH.
  84. [23:16] <Bekran> "i don't even know"
  85. [23:17] <Bekran> "you"
  86. [23:17] <SeriousSalamander> "i do not know what it will do, so i might need a copy of the book later"
  87. [23:17] <Bekran> "i could be picking through scraps of human corpses right now"
  88. [23:17] <SeriousSalamander> "based on your name, i take it you are not human"
  89. [23:17] <Bekran> "why am i wasting my time"
  90. [23:17] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((the name doesn't show up as Bekran))
  91. [23:17] <SeriousSalamander> "to give context, this book is a grimoire that summons demonic spirits"
  92. [23:17] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((the name shows up as gunpowderProsthesis))
  93. [23:17] <SeriousSalamander> "this book is also the only thing that can unsummon those demonic spirits"
  94. [23:18] <SeriousSalamander> "i have no idea what throwing this book into a round glowing thing will do, but it might be bad"
  95. [23:18] <Bekran> "so this is the world that ?? was talking about?"
  96. [23:18] <Bekran> "because this isnt what i expected"
  97. [23:18] <SeriousSalamander> "i do not know who ?? is, but probably yes"
  98. [23:18] <Bekran> "guess ill wait for the meteor then"
  99. [23:19] <Bekran> "or will the world be too burnt then?"
  100. [23:19] <Bekran> "maybe i should start now"
  101. [23:19] <SeriousSalamander> "well, i did not expect to see a race of grey-skinned, horned creatures on my computer monitor"
  102. [23:19] <SeriousSalamander> "reality does not match our expectations sometimes"
  103. [23:20] <SeriousSalamander> "just plant the cruxtruder, totem lathe, and other stuff in my cave"
  104. [23:20] <SeriousSalamander> "you decide where everything goes"
  105. [23:20] <Bekran> "the what?"
  106. [23:20] <SeriousSalamander> "you will find out soon enough"
  107. [23:20] <SeriousSalamander> "are you friends with morden"
  108. [23:20] <SeriousSalamander> "yes or no"
  109. [23:21] <Bekran> "who?"
  110. [23:22] <SeriousSalamander> "i am a server player to morden, as you are to me"
  111. [23:22] <SeriousSalamander> "morden is a member of your species"
  112. [23:22] <Bekran> "oh"
  113. [23:22] <Bekran> "i dont care though?"
  114. [23:22] <SeriousSalamander> "whether you cooperate with me determines whether morden lives or dies"
  115. [23:22] <Bekran> "is the meteor coming soon?"
  116. [23:23] <SeriousSalamander> "he will not survive without my help, as i will not survive without yours"
  117. [23:23] <Bekran> "why would i care about morden?"
  118. [23:23] <SeriousSalamander> "because every player is connected to another"
  119. [23:23] <SeriousSalamander> "for all you know, morden could be your server player"
  120. [23:23] <SeriousSalamander> "or your server player's server player"
  121. [23:23] <SeriousSalamander> "and if he dies, everyone dies"
  122. [23:24] <SeriousSalamander> "this is my leverage"
  123. [23:24] == doraExplorer [doraExplor@75-162-22-144.desm.qwest.net] has joined #RPGStuck_CaveOfMysteries
  124. [23:24] <doraExplorer> "That's right!!!"
  125. [23:24] <doraExplorer> "You need to work together!!!" :D
  126. [23:24] <Bekran> "i don't really care though"
  127. [23:24] <doraExplorer> "We'll all be great friends after this, I just know it!!!"
  128. [23:24] <doraExplorer> "Come on, vamanos!"
  129. [23:24] <SeriousSalamander> "fine, i am perfectly fine with dying horribly"
  130. [23:25] <SeriousSalamander> "question is, are you"
  131. [23:25] <Bekran> "why would i care?"
  132. [23:25] <doraExplorer> "You don't need to worry about dying horribly!!!"
  133. [23:25] <doraExplorer> "We're here to have fun! :D"
  134. [23:25] <Bekran> "theres nothing here i really care about so"
  135. [23:25] <doraExplorer> "Here, I'll put on some music for us!!!"
  136. [23:25] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, the music begins again.
  137. [23:25] <Bekran> "the only thing i really need to do is kill the guys who got me here"
  138. [23:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXOfYH9hWFs
  139. [23:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> Seeming coming from nowhere, echoing around the inside of your cave.
  140. [23:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems Dora the Explorer has in fact joined your chat.
  141. [23:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> Somehow.
  142. [23:26] <SeriousSalamander> "fine, i will help morden out"
  143. [23:27] <SeriousSalamander> "and then i point him at you"
  144. [23:27] <SeriousSalamander> "and the he will kill you too"
  145. [23:27] <SeriousSalamander> "he seems very physically strong"
  146. [23:27] <doraExplorer> "Hey now, don't make threats!! That's mean! D:"
  147. [23:27] <SeriousSalamander> "and bloodthirsty"
  148. [23:27] <doraExplorer> "Be nice to GP!"
  149. [23:27] <Bekran> "he wont make it through my minefield"
  150. [23:28] <Bekran> "or you know, my normal bombs"
  151. [23:28] <Bekran> "just in general"
  152. [23:28] <SeriousSalamander> "i will teach him how"
  153. [23:28] <Bekran> "and he wont find me anyway"
  154. [23:28] <SeriousSalamander> "i have the skills to do so"
  155. [23:28] <doraExplorer> "Stop threatening each other!!!!"
  156. [23:28] <Bekran> "sure"
  157. [23:28] <doraExplorer> "Morden is off having adventures of his own!!!"
  158. [23:28] <Bekran> "i dont care though"
  159. [23:28] <SeriousSalamander> "i am sure morden has friends"
  160. [23:28] <Bekran> "this is a waste of time"
  161. [23:28] <SeriousSalamander> "and some of his friends might be dangerous too"
  162. [23:28] <Bekran> "i"
  163. [23:29] <Bekran> "dont"
  164. [23:29] <Bekran> "care"
  165. [23:29] <doraExplorer> "You two need to work together to get this to work!!!"
  166. [23:29] * SeriousSalamander searches for a sprite and continues to look for a meteor
  167. [23:29] <doraExplorer> "It'll be fun!!!"
  168. [23:29] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see neither in the vicinity or in the sky.
  169. [23:29] <SeriousSalamander> "then go ahead and kill yourself right now"
  170. [23:29] <doraExplorer> "Don't worry, SS, you have plenty of time!!!!"
  171. [23:29] <SeriousSalamander> "because that is what you are doing already"
  172. [23:30] <SeriousSalamander> "skip a few steps"
  173. [23:30] <doraExplorer> "The sprite will come when it is good and ready!"
  174. [23:30] <Bekran> "i could but whats the point in that"
  175. [23:30] <SeriousSalamander> "if you dont care, dont care more efficiently"
  176. [23:30] <Bekran> "it will be a huge waste of time"
  177. [23:30] <SeriousSalamander> "if you cease to exist, time will no longer exist for you"
  178. [23:31] <SeriousSalamander> "waste will no longer exist"
  179. [23:31] <Bekran> "exactly"
  180. [23:31] <SeriousSalamander> "caring will no longer exist"
  181. [23:31] <Bekran> "if the time is gone"
  182. [23:31] <Bekran> "its wasted"
  183. [23:31] <SeriousSalamander> "death is the ultimate form of not caring"
  184. [23:31] <Bekran> "wait"
  185. [23:31] <Bekran> "who are you again?"
  186. [23:31] <SeriousSalamander> "you dont care about that"
  187. [23:32] <Bekran> "oh good to know"
  188. [23:32] <SeriousSalamander> "death is a superior form of not caring"
  189. [23:32] <doraExplorer> "Dying is sad!!!"
  190. [23:32] <SeriousSalamander> "the ultimate form, actually"
  191. [23:33] <doraExplorer> "Don't think about dying!!! We're on an adventure together!!!"
  192. [23:33] <SeriousSalamander> "no dora, dying is what idiots do when they cannot cooperate with other idiots
  193. [23:33] <Bekran> "youre not wrong"
  194. [23:33] <Bekran> "hmm"
  195. [23:33] <Bekran> "i have considered it multiple times today"
  196. [23:34] <Bekran> "mostly when the voice in my head keeps pestering me"
  197. [23:34] <Bekran> "it is so vulgar"
  198. [23:34] <Bekran> "i dont know why"
  199. [23:34] <SeriousSalamander> "i dont care"
  200. [23:34] <SeriousSalamander> "or maybe i do"
  201. [23:35] <Bekran> "hmm"
  202. [23:35] <SeriousSalamander> "i do not really care to think about not caring"
  203. [23:35] <SeriousSalamander> "to obsess about not caring is caring about not caring"
  204. [23:35] <SeriousSalamander> "it is self-defeating"
  205. [23:36] <Bekran> "wow that makes sense and is a waste of time"
  206. [23:36] <Bekran> "the meteor"
  207. [23:37] <Bekran> "where is it?"
  208. [23:37] <SeriousSalamander> "so stop wasting time. youre the one wasting time, not me"
  209. [23:37] <SeriousSalamander> "no idea"
  210. [23:37] <doraExplorer> "The meteor will come when it is time!!!"
  211. [23:37] <doraExplorer> "We will have lots of fun before then!!! :D"
  212. [23:37] <Bekran> "youre human right?"
  213. [23:37] <SeriousSalamander> "yes"
  214. [23:37] <doraExplorer> "I'm Dora!"
  215. [23:38] <Bekran> "what can you do with human bodies?"
  216. [23:38] <Bekran> "well"
  217. [23:38] <Bekran> "a decomposing half and a bunch of fresh organs"
  218. [23:38] <SeriousSalamander> "i do not know what you mean. if this is a threat, it would work better if i live"
  219. [23:38] <doraExplorer> "You will live, I just know it!!!"
  220. [23:39] <Bekran> "no im just bored"
  221. [23:39] <doraExplorer> "Don't you worry a bit!"
  222. [23:39] <doraExplorer> "If you're bored, do you want to start playing this game then???"
  223. [23:39] <SeriousSalamander> "death by meteor is instantaneous and painless. i am sure death by grey-skinned horned creature is significantly more agonizing"
  224. [23:39] <Bekran> "theres a big one stuck to my window right now"
  225. [23:39] <Bekran> "so"
  226. [23:40] <SeriousSalamander> "what is stuck to your window"
  227. [23:40] <Bekran> "a human organ"
  228. [23:40] <Bekran> "i dont know which"
  229. [23:40] <SeriousSalamander> "so why should i care"
  230. [23:40] <SeriousSalamander> "it is not my organ, and whoever it belongs to is dead"
  231. [23:41] <SeriousSalamander> "do whatever you want with it. i will not be offended"
  232. [23:41] <Bekran> "i just want to know what i can do with it"
  233. [23:41] <doraExplorer> "That is a liver, GP!!! They're one of the most overlooked organs in the human body, did you know that???"
  234. [23:42] <SeriousSalamander> "get rid of it, cook it, eat it"
  235. [23:42] <doraExplorer> "You can roast it over a fire until it's nice and tender and juicy. Yummy!!!"
  236. [23:42] <SeriousSalamander> "yes, listen to dora here"
  237. [23:42] <Bekran> "hmm"
  238. [23:42] <Bekran> "im not hungry"
  239. [23:42] <Bekran> "i have a lot of candy"
  240. [23:42] <doraExplorer> "But you should do that later. We have fun to have now!!! :D"
  241. [23:43] <doraExplorer> "Are you ready????"
  242. [23:43] <Bekran> "what were we talking about before?"
  243. [23:43] <doraExplorer> "The fun game we're going to play now!!!"
  244. [23:44] <SeriousSalamander> "about whether you want to help me stay alive, and whether you care that my death would mean yours by proxy"
  245. [23:44] <Bekran> "oh"
  246. [23:44] <Bekran> "what am i supposed to be doing?"
  247. [23:44] <doraExplorer> "I will tell you!!!"
  248. [23:44] <doraExplorer> "We can do it together!"
  249. [23:45] <SeriousSalamander> "setting up the cruxtruder, the totem lathe, and some other thing i forgot the name of
  250. [23:45] <Bekran> Bekran: Look at your bag of candy
  251. [23:46] <SeriousSalamander> "just do it or let me die in peace"
  252. [23:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see a huge bag of candy.
  253. [23:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> Surprise.
  254. [23:46] <Bekran> "excuse me im trying to get some candy"
  255. [23:47] <doraExplorer> "Yay!!! Snacks make everything more fun!"
  256. [23:47] <Bekran> Perfect, your candy's still here.
  257. [23:47] <Bekran> Bekran: Grab a fistful and eat it
  258. [23:47] <doraExplorer> "Let's get started now!!!"
  259. [23:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> It's sugary and soooo delicious.
  260. [23:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> YES.
  261. [23:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> Both of you receive a message in the chat prompt:
  262. [23:47] <Bekran> You can feel the sugar high coming.
  263. [23:47] * doraExplorer has locked the chat prompt.
  264. [23:47] <doraExplorer> "Just a moment while I explain things!"
  265. [23:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> You both find you cannot type messages into the chat for now.
  266. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "SS is going to need your help here!!"
  267. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "Hooray for teamwork!"
  268. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "Say it with me!"
  269. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "Teamwork!"
  270. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "Teamwork!"
  271. [23:48] <doraExplorer> "Teeeeeamwork!"
  272. [23:49] <doraExplorer> "GP, you are going to be able to see SS here soon!!!"
  273. [23:49] <Twelve> ((colaboración))
  274. [23:49] <doraExplorer> "I will give you some things for you to give SS!!"
  275. [23:49] <doraExplorer> "Friends give each other presents, hooray!"
  276. [23:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> Berkan, your screen fades away from black to what looks like a cave with a bunch of random stuff and some old childrens toys in the corner.
  277. [23:51] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((Harvey, please describe what Bekran sees inside the cave))
  278. [23:53] <SeriousSalamander> The cave has a rough, unpaved floor hewn from stone. There is only one floor with no stairs. A small bathroom is in one corner, and its door has long ago been ripped off its hinges and turned into firewood.
  279. [23:53] <SeriousSalamander> ((Harvey lives alone, so no door makes things more convenient))
  280. [23:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran, you see this appear on your screen in addition to the chat window.
  281. [23:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> A tab appears at the top with a cursor in it. It blinks yellow.
  282. [23:55] <doraExplorer> "GP, this is the tab you will use to help out SS!!!"
  283. [23:55] <doraExplorer> "Click on it!!!"
  284. [23:55] <SeriousSalamander> In another corner sits a pyre (not pile) of children's toys and kids' TV show memorabilia. Harvey has been meaning to set these toys on fire for a while, but he has not stolen enough kerosene yet
  285. [23:56] <SeriousSalamander> ((the caltrops were for sabotaging trucks full of fuel))
  286. [23:57] <Bekran> Bekran: Click on the tab
  287. [23:58] <@Aberrant[DM]> A submenu with three suboptions appears.
  288. [23:58] <SeriousSalamander> Lining the walls are piles of firewood, dried food rations, and books. The books fall under one or more categories: educational, spy fiction, and/or Lovecraftian horror fiction.
  289. [23:58] <@Aberrant[DM]> One of them is a cursor, one is a pixelated blocky cursor, and one is an upside down cursor.
  290. [23:58] <doraExplorer> "Pick whatever cursor you want!!!"
  291. [23:58] <doraExplorer> "It'll be fun!!! :D"
  292. [23:59] <SeriousSalamander> In the center of the room is a bed. Otherwise, the room is fairly sparse.
  293. [00:00] <Bekran> You feel like the upside down cursor will result in you taking more time to do things
  294. [00:00] <Bekran> Thus wasting less time
  295. [00:00] <Bekran> Bekran: Click on the Upside Down Cursor
  296. [00:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> Another submenu pops up
  297. [00:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> Several boxes containing strange looking machines.
  298. [00:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> One of them looks like a weird sort of clamp thing labeled TOTEM LATHE
  299. [00:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> The next looks like a very large round table labeled ALCHEMITER.
  300. [00:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> The third looks like a large hunk of metal with a tube sticking out of the top labeled CRUXTRUDER.
  301. [00:02] <doraExplorer> "Okay!!!"
  302. [00:02] <doraExplorer> "You need to give SS these machines now!!"
  303. [00:02] * SeriousSalamander picks up a crayon set from the pyre of toys and copies down "0GL0gOtH" onto 3 of the walls (all but the entrance wall).
  304. [00:03] <doraExplorer> "Just click on them and put them in his cave for him!!!"
  305. [00:03] <doraExplorer> "It will be so much fun!!!"
  306. [00:03] <doraExplorer> "I will show you where they can fit."
  307. [00:03] <doraExplorer> "And keep Swiper away!!!"
  308. [00:03] * doraExplorer has unlocked the chat
  309. [00:03] <Bekran> You're getting bored.
  310. [00:03] <SeriousSalamander> ((kind of teleported into the cave by accident, but going in should be no problem as long as he avoids the traps))
  311. [00:03] <SeriousSalamander> ((it's not locked or anything))
  312. [00:04] <Bekran> "this is getting boring again"
  313. [00:05] <Bekran> Bekran: Click on the...clamp thing
  314. [00:06] * SeriousSalamander decides to just lay in his bed after he has moved his computer into the cave and written on the walls in crayon. He waits for something to happen.
  315. [00:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> Berkan, you see a small little carving device a couple feet on a side appear in the air. It snaps to various locations around the cave. A green rectangle blinks on the ground near the childrens toys, but you find you can drag the device pretty much wherever you want.
  316. [00:08] <Bekran> Hmm.
  317. [00:08] <Bekran> Bekran: Place it on top of the toys
  318. [00:09] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, you see a miniature version of the TOTEM LATHE you remember giving Morden appear on top of your pile of toys. It's a couple feet on a side, and it plops down with a dull *CRUNCH*, settling into the top of the pile.
  319. [00:14] <Bekran> Well that was disappointing. What a waste of time.
  320. [00:15] <Bekran> Bekran: Click the table thing/
  321. [00:15] <@Aberrant[DM]> A large table thing appears in your cursor, and a blinking green rectangle near the entrance of the cave appears that's the same size.
  322. [00:16] <doraExplorer> "SS is on a time limit here so we don't want to dilly-dally too much!!!"
  323. [00:16] <doraExplorer> "You can do it, I know you can!!!"
  324. [00:16] <doraExplorer> "SS, when GP puts town the CRUXTRUDER, a tube machine, you will need to open the lid on the top to get going!"
  325. [00:16] <doraExplorer> "Geeeeeet ready!!!!"
  326. [00:21] <Bekran> Bekran: Put the table thing in the corner
  327. [00:21] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so. Harvey, you see the expected Alchemiter appear in the corner of your cave.
  328. [00:21] <@Aberrant[DM]> The music continues to play for some reason.
  329. [00:21] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems to be looping now.
  330. [00:21] <doraExplorer> "That's it!!!"
  331. [00:22] <doraExplorer> "You're almost there!!!"
  332. [00:23] <Bekran> What was left? You can't remember.
  333. [00:23] <Bekran> Hmm.
  334. [00:23] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see a tubey looking thing
  335. [00:23] <Bekran> Oh.
  336. [00:23] <Bekran> That.
  337. [00:24] <Bekran> Bekran: Click the tubey looking thing.
  338. [00:24] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see something about the size of a microwave appear on your cursor.
  339. [00:25] <Bekran> That reminds you, you were supposed to be getting casings from the dead bodies.
  340. [00:25] <Bekran> Hmm. You should do that.
  341. [00:25] <Bekran> Oh well.
  342. [00:25] <Bekran> Bekran: Put the microwave thing on the bed
  343. [00:25] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so.
  344. [00:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, you see a pitifully tiny cruxtruder appear on your bed.
  345. [00:26] <doraExplorer> "Yay!!!!"
  346. [00:26] <doraExplorer> "Now, SS, all you need to do is to unscrew the cap on the top!"
  347. [00:27] * SeriousSalamander unscrews the cap from the top of the cruxtruder.
  348. [00:27] <@Aberrant[DM]> It looks suspiciously just like a large soda cap.
  349. [00:27] <@Aberrant[DM]> You unscrew the top.
  350. [00:28] <@Aberrant[DM]> A glowing flashing orb about the size of a grapefruit pops out of the top!
  351. [00:28] <@Aberrant[DM]> This is.... much smaller than what you were expecting it would be.
  352. [00:29] <@Aberrant[DM]> You notice the little countdown screen (it's kind of hard to read when it's this small) doesn't have a countdown on it.
  353. [00:29] <@Aberrant[DM]> It has a green ":D"
  354. [00:29] <doraExplorer> "Hooray!!!"
  355. [00:29] * SeriousSalamander throws the NECRONOMICON EX-MORTIS into the orb.
  356. [00:29] <doraExplorer> "You're SO good at this game, SS!!!"
  357. [00:29] <doraExplorer> "Whoa there!"
  358. [00:30] <doraExplorer> "What do you think you're doing with that book?"
  359. [00:30] <doraExplorer> "Be careful, you could hurt someone with that!"
  360. [00:30] <@Aberrant[DM]> A little Dora face-shaped shield appears in front of the glowing orb and the book is deflected to the ground.
  361. [00:30] <doraExplorer> "You want to put something nice and happy in there!"
  362. [00:30] <doraExplorer> "Like these toys!"
  363. [00:31] <doraExplorer> "Or some smiley drawings!"
  364. [00:31] <doraExplorer> "Or maybe one of your boots!"
  365. [00:31] <doraExplorer> "I just LOVE Boots!!! :D"
  366. [00:31] <@Aberrant[DM]> The annoying sing-along music continues in the background.
  367. [00:31] <Bekran> ((jesus, this computer isn't letting me put a shit ton of spaces))
  368. [00:31] <Bekran> ((whyyyyy))
  369. [00:32] <SeriousSalamander> "dora, if you do not let me throw this book into the orb, i stop playing right now"
  370. [00:33] <doraExplorer> "How could you say something like that??? D:"
  371. [00:33] <doraExplorer> "That's so mean!!!"
  372. [00:33] <SeriousSalamander> "as unhappy as you may be with this book, you will be even less happy if we all die"
  373. [00:33] <Bekran> ((please just accept these dashes instead of spaces))
  374. [00:33] <SeriousSalamander> "and if i die, i am pretty sure you die too"
  375. [00:33] <SeriousSalamander> "you only exist as part of a game that is about to fail"
  376. [00:33] <Bekran> "should --- i ---- do ---- something ---- about ---- the ---- head?"
  377. [00:33] <SeriousSalamander> "so dora, do you want to die"
  378. [00:34] <SeriousSalamander> "or will you let me throw this book in"
  379. [00:34] <doraExplorer> "This isn't how you play the game!!!"
  380. [00:34] <doraExplorer> "I'm here to help you!"
  381. [00:34] <Bekran> Bekran: Try and pick up a book
  382. [00:35] <SeriousSalamander> "as the extremely wise bekran has said, I DO NOT CARE!!!"
  383. [00:35] * SeriousSalamander throw the Necronomicon at the sprite again
  384. [00:35] <Bekran> "oh ---- thank ---- you"
  385. [00:35] <Bekran> ((god damn it i sound like napstablook now))
  386. [00:36] <@Aberrant[DM]> A very sad looking frowning Dora face pops up to block the book again.
  387. [00:36] <doraExplorer> "Why are you doing this???? :("
  388. [00:36] <SeriousSalamander> "because i do not like being told what to do"
  389. [00:37] <doraExplorer> "You told me to do this though!!!"
  390. [00:37] <doraExplorer> "You picked me to help you!!!"
  391. [00:37] <SeriousSalamander> "and saying that makes me realize how i might have made you unhappy, bekran"
  392. [00:37] <SeriousSalamander> "sorry for being so hypocritical"
  393. [00:37] * SeriousSalamander throws the Necronomicon at the sprite again
  394. [00:37] <doraExplorer> "GP, give SS his card!"
  395. [00:37] <doraExplorer> "I will show you! :D"
  396. [00:38] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran, a captchalogue card with a bunch of holes appears on your cursor.
  397. [00:38] <@Aberrant[DM]> A furiously angry Dora face pops up, blocking the book again.
  398. [00:38] <Bekran> "Im ---- not ---- unhappy ---just ----bored"
  399. [00:38] <doraExplorer> "So you really don't want my help then???"
  400. [00:38] <doraExplorer> "But we were going to go on so many amazing adventures together!!!"
  401. [00:38] <doraExplorer> "Vamanos!"
  402. [00:38] <SeriousSalamander> "no i do not"
  403. [00:38] <SeriousSalamander> "i would literally rather die by meteor than accept your help"
  404. [00:38] <Bekran> Bekran: drop the card on the floating head
  405. [00:39] * SeriousSalamander throws the Necronomicon at the sprite again
  406. [00:39] <@Aberrant[DM]> The book bounces off of an entirely apathetic Dora face, pushing the glowing ball out of the way of the card, which floats to the ground.
  407. [00:39] <doraExplorer> "That makes me so sad!"
  408. [00:39] <doraExplorer> "Okay then."
  409. [00:39] <doraExplorer> "If you really want me to, I will leave....."
  410. [00:40] <doraExplorer> "Maybe Swiper will come along and swipe all your things and then you'll wish I were still here to help!"
  411. [00:40] <@Aberrant[DM]> You notice the green :D on the cruxtruder disappears.
  412. [00:40] <SeriousSalamander> "i have trapped and eaten hundreds of swipers by now, i dont need your help with that"
  413. [00:40] * SeriousSalamander throws the Necronomicon at the sprite again
  414. [00:40] <@Aberrant[DM]> It is replaced by a bright red >:D
  415. [00:41] <Bekran> "wheres ----- the ----- meteor?"
  416. [00:41] <SeriousSalamander> "i could make a coat out of all the swipers i have slain"
  417. [00:41] <@Aberrant[DM]> The book bounces off of a maniacally laughing Dora face.
  418. [00:41] <doraExplorer> "You know what then?"
  419. [00:41] <doraExplorer> "FUCK."
  420. [00:41] <doraExplorer> "YOU."
  421. [00:41] <@Aberrant[DM]> Everything in the cave suddenly begins flashing and blinking bright red.
  422. [00:41] <@Aberrant[DM]> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqdMHUfRhW0
  423. [00:41] <@Aberrant[DM]> A piercing alarm noise rings throughout the clear night.
  424. [00:41] <Bekran> "I ---- think ---- she's ----angry"
  425. [00:42] <Bekran> "Do ---- you ---- want ---- me ---- to ---- do ---- anything?"
  426. [00:42] <@Aberrant[DM]> Every single one of your traps pops up out of the ground of their own accord and assembles themselves in midair to form a hulking human figure of pointy steel and wood.
  427. [00:42] <@Aberrant[DM]> The form comes slowly marching towards you.
  428. [00:43] <@Aberrant[DM]> The trees outside your cave spontaneously burst into flames and... what the fuck?
  429. [00:43] <@Aberrant[DM]> That's definitely LAVA.
  430. [00:43] <Bekran> "things ---- are ---- getting ---- interesting"
  431. [00:43] <@Aberrant[DM]> LAVA is just erupting out of random spots in the ground.
  432. [00:43] <@Aberrant[DM]> The hulking form of traps condenses somewhat into what looks like a giant monkey with boots.
  433. [00:44] <@Aberrant[DM]> The alarm continues blaring loudly.
  434. [00:45] * SeriousSalamander tears the Necronomicon apart, separating all the pages. He then simply drenches the sprite with pages, throwing them all at the same time shotgun style
  435. [00:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> They are absorbed into the glowing grapefruit in a tremendous flash of light!
  436. [00:45] <Bekran> "that ---- was ---- pretty ---- cool"
  437. [00:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> What remains is a glowing ball of...... something.
  438. [00:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> You can't really tell what.
  439. [00:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> For some reason it's really offputting though and it kind of makes your hair stand up on end.
  440. [00:46] <Bekran> "can ---- i ---- burn ---- that?"
  441. [00:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> It looks kind of like a nondescript blob, or maybe a crumpled up ball of paper, or maybe smoke?
  442. [00:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems kind of different every time you look at it.
  443. [00:46] <Bekran> "why --- am ----i ---- asking?
  444. [00:46] <Bekran> Bekran: click on a flaming stick
  445. [00:46] <SeriousSalamander> "because......because i might have just killed us all"
  446. [00:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> You click on a flaming stick, lifting it up off the ground.
  447. [00:47] <Bekran> Bekran: spear the wood monster
  448. [00:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> "It is quickly smacked out of your cursors grip and obliterated on the ground by a flaming space rock from the sky.
  449. [00:48] <Bekran> Bekran: grab another one
  450. [00:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> You grab another one.
  451. [00:48] * SeriousSalamander puts the punched captchalogue card into the cruxtruder
  452. [00:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, you hear a great roaring noise from the sky.
  453. [00:48] <Bekran> Bekran: spear the wood monster
  454. [00:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> You fail to do so because there is no slot for the punched card here!
  455. [00:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> Even if there were, the cruxtruder is far too small!
  456. [00:49] <@Aberrant[DM]> You spear the wood monster.
  457. [00:49] <@Aberrant[DM]> The entire thing erupts into flame.
  458. [00:49] <Bekran> "pfft --- that ---- was ---- too ---- easy"
  459. [00:50] <Bekran> "what --- a --- waste --- of ---- time"
  460. [00:50] * SeriousSalamander attempts to put the card into the totem lathe
  461. [00:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, the Boots-monster ROARS at you and belches a ball of fire in your direction.
  462. [00:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> It narrowly misses as you run to the totem lathe, instead hitting your bed.
  463. [00:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> Despite the totem lathe being tiny, the slot is still normal sized, basically taking up the whole lathe!
  464. [00:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> You stick it in the slot, and a set of blades on top reorganizes itself.
  465. [00:51] <Bekran> "I ---- didnt ---- expect --- that"
  466. [00:51] <Bekran> "huh."
  467. [00:51] <doraExplorer> "HAHAHAHA YOU FOOL"
  468. [00:51] <doraExplorer> "I JUST OBLITERATE NEW ENGLAND"
  469. [00:51] <doraExplorer> "WITH ONE FUCKING ROCK"
  470. [00:51] <doraExplorer> "BOOM"
  471. [00:51] * SeriousSalamander crouches behind the lathe to take cover from the Boots-monster. As a game-critical device, it is likely to be indestructible
  472. [00:51] <doraExplorer> "HOORAY FOR TEAMWORK"
  473. [00:52] <doraExplorer> "GO TEAM ME"
  474. [00:52] <Bekran> ((you have kerosene in your room, right?))
  475. [00:52] <SeriousSalamander> ((No, its in my queuestack, thank god))
  476. [00:52] <doraExplorer> "YOURE GONNA DIE SOON TOO YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT???"
  477. [00:52] <doraExplorer> "I GOT A ROCK JUST FOR YOU"
  478. [00:52] <Bekran> ((but whyyy))
  479. [00:52] <doraExplorer> "ITS ON ITS WAY RIGHT NOW"
  480. [00:52] <doraExplorer> "BUT IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHEN"
  481. [00:52] <SeriousSalamander> "SOONER IS BETTER THAN LATER, DORA"
  482. [00:53] <doraExplorer> "BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT MY HELP"
  483. [00:53] <Bekran> "is --- it ----- talking ---- to ---- me ---- or ---- you?"
  484. [00:53] <doraExplorer> "YES"
  485. [00:53] <Bekran> "because --- this ---- is ---- your ---- problem"
  486. [00:53] <Bekran> "i ---- didnt --- do --- anything ---- wrong"
  487. [00:53] * SeriousSalamander peeks up briefly to see if the lathe is finished
  488. [00:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> The lathe still sits there, motionless.
  489. [00:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> It can't do anything without something to carve!
  490. [00:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> BootsTrap is marching in your direction, preparing another fireball.
  491. [00:54] * SeriousSalamander dashes to the cruxtruder, taking cover behind it
  492. [00:55] <@Aberrant[DM]> You fail to take cover behind it as it is slightly smaller than a microwave.
  493. [00:55] <@Aberrant[DM]> Too bad you selected NOVICE MODE.
  494. [00:55] <Bekran> "you ---- have ---- any ---- plans?
  495. [00:55] <Bekran> "
  496. [00:55] <Bekran> "i --- would ---- have ---- blown --- it ---- up --- already"
  497. [00:56] * SeriousSalamander dashes to the bathroom.
  498. [00:56] <@Aberrant[DM]> You dash to the bathroom, unfortunately without a door.
  499. [00:56] * SeriousSalamander drains the kerosene into the toilet and flushes it. He then fills the empty can up with water from the sink.
  500. [00:57] <Bekran> " do ---- you ---- have ---- any ---- explosives?"
  501. [00:57] <Bekran> "why'd ---- you --- do ---- that?"
  502. [00:57] <SeriousSalamander> "you do not use explosives on a fire monster"
  503. [00:57] <Bekran> "it ---- would ---- have ---- looked --- amazing ---- though"
  504. [00:57] * SeriousSalamander showers the monster with ice-cold water
  505. [00:58] <Bekran> "what's ---- your ---- plan?"
  506. [00:58] <doraExplorer> "NOT AS AMAZING AS YOUR DEAD CORPSE SMEARED ON THE GROUND AFTER MY SPACE ROCK FINDS YOU"
  507. [00:58] <Bekran> "water?"
  508. [00:58] <Bekran> "that's ---- a ---- waste ---- of ---- time"
  509. [00:58] <SeriousSalamander> "only sh*t-quality explosives explode when burned"
  510. [00:58] <@Aberrant[DM]> The water splashes across BootsTrap, extinguishing about 75% of the fire on it.
  511. [00:58] <Bekran> "then ---- itll --- just ---- be --- less --- firey"
  512. [00:58] <SeriousSalamander> "the good stuff just burns. it needs a detonator cap"
  513. [00:58] <Bekran> "still ---- pointy ---- though"
  514. [00:59] * SeriousSalamander repeats the process: fill can with water, splash on monster
  515. [00:59] <@Aberrant[DM]> With the second can, the fire is extinguished. Its second fireball splutters and turns to smoke.
  516. [00:59] <@Aberrant[DM]> Success!
  517. [01:00] <Bekran> "huh."
  518. [01:00] <Bekran> "good ---- job"
  519. [01:00] * SeriousSalamander digs up the logs with Morden to see what he did. The sprite has been prototyped (not that Harvey knows what that means), but the rest of the job has not been finished yet.
  520. [01:00] <Bekran> "wait ---- where ---- did ---- this ---- thing ---- come ---- from --- anyway?"
  521. [01:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> You quickly skim the logs. It seems you pretty much did everything he did so far except for carve the tube.
  522. [01:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> Seems like the tube....... you get it by turning the big huge wheel on the cruxtruder?
  523. [01:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> That's what Morden talked about at least.
  524. [01:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> You don't see a big huge wheel though.
  525. [01:01] <@Aberrant[DM]> Just a little one about an inch across.
  526. [01:02] <Bekran> "what --- are --- you --- doing?"
  527. [01:02] * SeriousSalamander rapidly turns the wheel on the cruxtruder. The tiny wheel will have to do.
  528. [01:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> If you used such words, you might say it's adorable. But you don't.
  529. [01:02] <Bekran> "theres ---- still --- a ---- giant ---- spike --- monster"
  530. [01:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> You twist the little wheel as fast as your fingers can turn it.
  531. [01:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> Dang, this tiny thing is awkward to twist.
  532. [01:02] <Bekran> "im --- open ---- to ---- suggestions"
  533. [01:02] <Bekran> Wait.
  534. [01:02] <Bekran> You have an idea.
  535. [01:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> A sparkly cylinder slowly creeps out of the top of the cruxtruder.
  536. [01:02] <Bekran> But first, more candy.
  537. [01:02] <@Aberrant[DM]> Good thing you have more candy!
  538. [01:03] <Bekran> Bekran: Stuff your face with cand
  539. [01:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran: Consider your face stuffed.
  540. [01:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> It is so stuffed.
  541. [01:03] <@Aberrant[DM]> More stuffed than any face has ever been.
  542. [01:03] <Bekran> Oh...it's so good. So...much sugar.
  543. [01:03] * SeriousSalamander doesn't know what spike monster Bekran is talking about. That said, he scan the room to make sure he's safe (at least until death by meteor).
  544. [01:04] <@Aberrant[DM]> Despite being extinguished, BootsTrap still seems to be up and about, albeit much more slowly.
  545. [01:04] <@Aberrant[DM]> It showers you with your caltrops rather ineffectively.
  546. [01:05] <Bekran> Mmn.
  547. [01:05] <Bekran> That was good.
  548. [01:05] <Bekran> Okay.
  549. [01:05] <Bekran> What was your plan?
  550. [01:05] <Bekran> Oh, yeah.
  551. [01:05] <Bekran> Bekran: Try to grab a tree
  552. [01:06] <Bekran> Wait, no!
  553. [01:06] <Bekran> You have a better plan.
  554. [01:06] <Bekran> Bekran: try and grab the monster
  555. [01:06] <SeriousSalamander> "i have matches"
  556. [01:06] <@Aberrant[DM]> You click on the monster's left arm and successfully grab it.
  557. [01:07] <SeriousSalamander> "but setting it on fire puts us back where we started"
  558. [01:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> The tube finally pops out of the cruxtruder the last bit. It rolls to the floor.
  559. [01:07] <Bekran> Bekran: Jerk your mouse away from the rest of it's body
  560. [01:07] * SeriousSalamander grabs the tube and puts it in the totem lathe before activating it.
  561. [01:07] <@Aberrant[DM]> The monster jerks to the side before its left arm is ripped off entirely. Spikes and caltrops and traps fly EVERYWHERE.
  562. [01:07] * SeriousSalamander ducks for cover
  563. [01:08] <@Aberrant[DM]> The blades descend onto the tube, carving the little thing into a sort of curvy shape
  564. [01:08] <Bekran> "should --- I --- have --- warned --- you?"
  565. [01:08] <Bekran> "i ---- killed ---- a --- guy --- like --- that --- once"
  566. [01:08] <SeriousSalamander> "do it again. i will sever the arm with my karambit"
  567. [01:08] <Bekran> "it ---- took --- a --- while"
  568. [01:08] <SeriousSalamander> "legs first to reduce mobility"
  569. [01:09] <doraExplorer> "I FOUND ANOTHER TEAMWORK ROCK FOR YOU"
  570. [01:09] <doraExplorer> "HERE PLEASE HAVE IT"
  571. [01:09] <Bekran> Bekran: Click on the monster's right leg
  572. [01:09] <doraExplorer> "IT IS A GIFT JUST FOR YOU!"
  573. [01:09] <Bekran> You hate gifts.
  574. [01:09] * SeriousSalamander flanks the monster before surgically cutting its right leg off from behind the knee.
  575. [01:09] <@Aberrant[DM]> A spirograph appears in midair in the middle of the cave, and a small rock about the size of a lemon flies out of it, appearing out of nowhere. It proceeds to rocket straight at Harvey, hitting him in the shoulder.
  576. [01:10] <Bekran> "pfft"
  577. [01:10] <@Aberrant[DM]> You now have a severe burn and quite the bruise on your shoulder.
  578. [01:10] <Bekran> "that --- was --- hilarious"
  579. [01:10] <Bekran> " your ---- face"
  580. [01:10] * SeriousSalamander ignores the wound and proceeds with the original plan
  581. [01:10] <Bekran> "do ---- it --- again"
  582. [01:10] <@Aberrant[DM]> Harvey, make a constitution check to do that.
  583. [01:10] <@Aberrant[DM]> It is a d20 plus your constitution modifier
  584. [01:10] <@Aberrant[DM]> type roll 1d20 in this chatroom to roll the die
  585. [01:11] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran, you click on the leg.
  586. [01:14] <SeriousSalamander> roll 1d20-1
  587. [01:14] <Dice-Bot> SeriousSalamander rolled 1d20-1 --> [ 1d20=12 ]{11}
  588. [01:15] <@Aberrant[DM]> You push the immense flare of pain to the side, but your body betrays you and you fail to ignore it entirely. IT REALLY HURTS.
  589. [01:15] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((no mechanical effects, but try to RP appropriately as it is still quite distracting))
  590. [01:16] <@Aberrant[DM]> ==>
  591. [01:17] * SeriousSalamander staggers over to the creature and feigns an even more severe injury. He rolls around on the floor crying to get the creature to approach and loom over him.
  592. [01:18] <Bekran> "come ---- on, ---- i --- blew --- my --- leg --- off --- and --- cried --- less --- that --- that"
  593. [01:18] <SeriousSalamander> ((I decided on a different tactic. Remember how I described Harvey as someone who didn't play fair?))
  594. [01:19] <SeriousSalamander> "shh...just get ready on my signal"
  595. [01:19] <Bekran> "though --- it --- was --- dulled --- by --- the --- shock"
  596. [01:19] <@Aberrant[DM]> BootsTrap approaches you as you lie on the ground, but is somewhat restricted as one of its legs is being held.
  597. [01:19] <Bekran> "lots --- of --- corpses"
  598. [01:19] <Bekran> "like --- 5"
  599. [01:19] <SeriousSalamander> "PULL NOW!!!"
  600. [01:19] <Bekran> "I'm --- prou"
  601. [01:19] <Bekran> Bekran: Pull the leg
  602. [01:19] <@Aberrant[DM]> You rip the leg off.
  603. [01:20] <@Aberrant[DM]> BootsTrap proceeds to entirely lose its balance and begins staggering and falling towards Harvey.
  604. [01:20] <Bekran> "You --- know --- I --- was --- typing --- something"
  605. [01:20] <Bekran> "now --- i --- forgot --- what --- it --- was"
  606. [01:20] <doraExplorer> "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY"
  607. [01:20] * SeriousSalamander rolls to the side
  608. [01:20] <doraExplorer> "NOBODY CARES"
  609. [01:20] <Bekran> "..."
  610. [01:20] <Bekran> "good --- one"
  611. [01:20] * SeriousSalamander then jams the karambit into the back of the knee of the other leg
  612. [01:21] <@Aberrant[DM]> It's kind of hard to stab a pile of trabs, but you do your best. BootsTrap is now rolling around on the ground rather ineffectually with very few limbs.
  613. [01:21] * SeriousSalamander drags the knife back and forth to saw off the leg at the knee
  614. [01:22] <@Aberrant[DM]> The leg explodes into a shower of loose traps, effectively removing the leg.
  615. [01:22] <Bekran> "when --- all --- the --- limbs --- are --- cut --- off"
  616. [01:22] <SeriousSalamander> "the creature will be too slow to pose much of a threat for the moment"
  617. [01:22] <Bekran> "what --- no"
  618. [01:22] * SeriousSalamander picks up the carved totem
  619. [01:22] <Bekran> Bekran: grab the monster's torso
  620. [01:23] <@Aberrant[DM]> You pick up the totem.
  621. [01:23] <@Aberrant[DM]> You grab the torso.
  622. [01:23] <Bekran> Bekran: Drag it outside
  623. [01:23] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so.
  624. [01:23] <@Aberrant[DM]> It proceeds to immediately burst into flames outside
  625. [01:23] <Bekran> Bekran: Grab a rock
  626. [01:24] * SeriousSalamander places the totem onto the alchimeter and activates the device
  627. [01:24] <@Aberrant[DM]> You grab a rock while BootsTrap belches lava and fireballs in pretty much random directions up in the sky.
  628. [01:24] <@Aberrant[DM]> One blob of lava splats int he cave entrance, slowly splatting.
  629. [01:25] <Bekran> Bekran: Repeatedly smash the monster's head in with the rock.
  630. [01:25] <@Aberrant[DM]> The alchemiter flashes in a blink of light, accepting the disproportionately small totem.
  631. [01:25] <Bekran> "how's --- this --- for --- a --- teamwork --- rock?"
  632. [01:25] <Bekran> "this --- isn't --- my --- style --- though"
  633. [01:25] <@Aberrant[DM]> You notice a sparkling coinpurse made of the same material the totem is appear attached to your waste with a little slit for an opening.
  634. [01:25] <Bekran> "do --- you --- have --- any --- more --- kerosene?
  635. [01:26] <Bekran> "
  636. [01:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> 8 shiny coins appear on the surface of the alchemiter. It seems the coinpurse will fit one of them.
  637. [01:26] <SeriousSalamander> "all out...do you need matches though"
  638. [01:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> You smash BootsTrap to pieces, over time.
  639. [01:26] <Bekran> "no --- its --- pretty --- on --- fire"
  640. [01:26] <@Aberrant[DM]> A *BLURP* of lava nearby covers its remains.
  641. [01:26] * SeriousSalamander grabs a shiny coin and places it in the purse
  642. [01:26] <Bekran> "there --- we --- go"
  643. [01:27] <Bekran> "its --- dead --- now"
  644. [01:27] <@Aberrant[DM]> You hear an error buzzer, and all 8 coins disappear.
  645. [01:27] <@Aberrant[DM]> The 8 coins reappear on the alchemiter.
  646. [01:27] <doraExplorer> "SEE MAYBE I COULD HELP YOU WITH THIS PUZZLE"
  647. [01:27] <Bekran> "what --- are --- you --- doing?"
  648. [01:27] <doraExplorer> "I WOULD HAVE FUCKING EXPLAINED IT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID"
  649. [01:27] <doraExplorer> "ITS SO SIMPLE"
  650. [01:28] <Bekran> "well --- it --- kind --- of --- has --- a --- point"
  651. [01:28] <doraExplorer> "BUT YOU DONT WANT MY HELP"
  652. [01:28] <Bekran> "why --- didnt --- you --- want --- its --- help?"
  653. [01:28] * SeriousSalamander turns off the lights in the cave so no one can see what is going on
  654. [01:28] <Bekran> "i --- mean --- if --- this --- situation --- was --- reversed --- hey"
  655. [01:28] * SeriousSalamander remembers the location of everything by heart
  656. [01:28] <@Aberrant[DM]> You turn out the lights.
  657. [01:28] <Bekran> "turn --- the"
  658. [01:28] <@Aberrant[DM]> The blazing forest fire outside still lights the cave quite well.
  659. [01:28] <Bekran> Wait, no, there's a simple solution to this.
  660. [01:28] <@Aberrant[DM]> Not to mention the lava.
  661. [01:29] <Bekran> Bekran: Grab a burning stick
  662. [01:29] <@Aberrant[DM]> You grab a burning stick.
  663. [01:29] * SeriousSalamander takes junk off the walls and dumps it into a heap over the cave entrance
  664. [01:29] <Bekran> Bekran: Bring the burning stick into the cave
  665. [01:29] <@Aberrant[DM]> You make a sort of makeshift pile in the cave entrance. You're not sure how long it's going to last against all that heat though.
  666. [01:30] <@Aberrant[DM]> It's pretty dim in here now. Not pitch black, but still pretty dark.
  667. [01:30] <@Aberrant[DM]> You take the burning stuck into the cave.
  668. [01:30] <@Aberrant[DM]> It seems to phase through the wall.
  669. [01:30] * SeriousSalamander tries to place the coins in the coinpurse in the darkness to evade observation.
  670. [01:30] <@Aberrant[DM]> There is now effectively a floating torch.
  671. [01:30] <Bekran> "hah --- what --- a --- waste --- of --- time"
  672. [01:30] <SeriousSalamander> "put the torch out"
  673. [01:30] <SeriousSalamander> "i need to do this part unobserved"
  674. [01:31] <@Aberrant[DM]> The first coin causes an error buzzer and the coins reappear again.
  675. [01:31] <Bekran> "i --- saw --- you --- mess --- up --- once"
  676. [01:31] <doraExplorer> "WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER TEAMWORK ROCK???"
  677. [01:31] <doraExplorer> "ITS TEAMWORK BECAUSE ITS YOUR FAULT I SENT IT TO YOU"
  678. [01:31] <doraExplorer> "HOORAY FOR TEAMWORK!"
  679. [01:31] * SeriousSalamander grabs a stick to serve as a bat
  680. [01:32] <doraExplorer> "HAHAHAHA"
  681. [01:32] <doraExplorer> "THIS ONE IS TWO MILES WIDE"
  682. [01:32] * SeriousSalamander uses the stick to swipe the coins off the alchimeter
  683. [01:32] <doraExplorer> "GOOD LUCK HITTING THAT HOMERUN"
  684. [01:32] <@Aberrant[DM]> The coins clatter to the ground.
  685. [01:32] <Bekran> " you --- know --- if --- it --- wasnt --- so --- vulgar --- i --- think --- me --- and --- the --- monster --- would --- get --- along"
  686. [01:33] <doraExplorer> "WE CAN BE GREAT FRIENDS, GP!!!"
  687. [01:33] * SeriousSalamander uses slides the coinpurse onto the coins, using the stick to push them in
  688. [01:33] <Bekran> "oh --- see --- it --- wasnt --- that --- hard"
  689. [01:33] <doraExplorer> "HAHAHA WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE COINS???"
  690. [01:33] <Bekran> "are --- you --- good --- at --- making --- molotovs?"
  691. [01:33] <doraExplorer> "YOU LOOK LIKE A RETARD"
  692. [01:34] <doraExplorer> "MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE"
  693. [01:34] <SeriousSalamander> "molotovs do not work on fire monsters"
  694. [01:34] <@Aberrant[DM]> The first coin enters with the same buzzer and you see all the coins reappear on the alchemiter.
  695. [01:34] <Bekran> "not --- you"
  696. [01:34] <Bekran> "the --- monster"
  697. [01:34] <@Aberrant[DM]> The flaming torch snaps in half from burning.
  698. [01:35] <doraExplorer> "I LOVE BURNING THINGS"
  699. [01:35] * SeriousSalamander opens up the back panel of the alchimeter. There has to be an override of some sort.
  700. [01:35] <Bekran> Hmm. You should get another one, but you don't feel like moving the cursor back outside.
  701. [01:35] <doraExplorer> "ESPECIALLY THE THINGS THAT GET IN MY WAY"
  702. [01:35] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do not find a back panel.
  703. [01:35] <Bekran> "i --- like -- your --- style
  704. [01:35] <@Aberrant[DM]> Maybe if you hadn't chose NOVICE MODE....
  705. [01:35] <Bekran> "
  706. [01:36] <@Aberrant[DM]> The torch on the ground burns out, plunging the cave into mostly darkness again,
  707. [01:36] * SeriousSalamander goes onto the computer and opens up settings
  708. [01:36] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see the options menu pop up again.
  709. [01:36] * SeriousSalamander looks for difficulty
  710. [01:36] <@Aberrant[DM]> It's still there, just where it was before.
  711. [01:36] <@Aberrant[DM]> But it is grayed out.
  712. [01:36] <Bekran> "im --- not --- the --- best --- at --- burning"
  713. [01:37] <@Aberrant[DM]> It says "Difficulty Mode cannot be changed in the middle of a game!"
  714. [01:37] <Bekran> "but --- maybe --- you --- can --- give --- me --- some --- pointers?"
  715. [01:37] <doraExplorer> "MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE ON THIS IDIOT HERE"
  716. [01:37] * SeriousSalamander looks for the game's program code
  717. [01:38] <Bekran> "well --- he --- did --- compliment --- me --- once"
  718. [01:38] <@Aberrant[DM]> The game fails to let you minimize the game and switch windows.
  719. [01:38] <Bekran> "but --- he --- did --- also --- insult --- me"
  720. [01:38] * SeriousSalamander reboots the computer
  721. [01:39] <@Aberrant[DM]> It fails to shut down, even after holding the power button and removing the battery.
  722. [01:39] * SeriousSalamander removes the RAM
  723. [01:39] <@Aberrant[DM]> The computer shuts off with a crackling noise.
  724. [01:39] <@Aberrant[DM]> It smokes.
  725. [01:39] * SeriousSalamander replaces the RAM
  726. [01:39] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so.
  727. [01:40] <Bekran> "what --- are --- you --- doing?"
  728. [01:40] <doraExplorer> "BREAKING HIS ONLY COMPUTER THATS WHAT"
  729. [01:40] <doraExplorer> "LIKE I SAID"
  730. [01:40] <doraExplorer> "IDIOT"
  731. [01:40] * SeriousSalamander opens up the hard drive and scratches it with his karambit
  732. [01:40] <doraExplorer> "DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING TO THIS GAME???"
  733. [01:40] <Bekran> "that --- is --- pretty --- dumb"
  734. [01:40] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so.
  735. [01:40] <SeriousSalamander> ((if the game don't work, destroy the game))
  736. [01:41] <doraExplorer> "YOU DO REALIZE WHAT YOURE DOING DOESNT CHANGE ANYTHING RIGHT???"
  737. [01:41] <doraExplorer> "YOURE JUST BEING A RETARD AGAIN"
  738. [01:41] <Bekran> "well --- this --- is --- getting --- pretty --- boring"
  739. [01:42] * SeriousSalamander sits down on the floor and does nothing
  740. [01:42] <@Aberrant[DM]> You sit in the blackness.
  741. [01:42] <SeriousSalamander> "do your worst"
  742. [01:42] <@Aberrant[DM]> The roaring from outside continues to get louder.
  743. [01:42] <Bekran> "i --- can --- wait"
  744. [01:43] <doraExplorer> "YOURE THE ONE DOING YOUR WORST NOT ME YOU FUCKER"
  745. [01:43] <doraExplorer> "THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO"
  746. [01:43] <Bekran> "pfft"
  747. [01:43] <Bekran> "that --- was --- pretty --- funny"
  748. [01:44] <SeriousSalamander> "as the guru has said, i do not care"
  749. [01:44] <doraExplorer> "BEST FOR ME THOUGH"
  750. [01:44] <doraExplorer> "THIS IS REALLY FUCKIN HILARIOUS"
  751. [01:44] <doraExplorer> "YOU WERE ACTING LIKE YOU WERE HOT SHIT BEFORE"
  752. [01:44] <doraExplorer> "BUT LOOK AT YOU NOW"
  753. [01:44] * SeriousSalamander turns off the computer to remove the screen's glare
  754. [01:44] <doraExplorer> "SITTING ON THE FLOOR BY SOME BURNED KIDDIE TOYS POUTING"
  755. [01:44] <@Aberrant[DM]> The computer is already off.
  756. [01:44] <@Aberrant[DM]> You literally ripped the ram out.
  757. [01:44] * SeriousSalamander sneaks over to the alchimeter
  758. [01:45] <Bekran> "why --- did --- you --- want --- to --- put --- the --- book --- in --- there --- so --- bad --- anyway?
  759. [01:45] <Bekran> "
  760. [01:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> You hear a loud explosion from outside that shakes the ground somewhat.
  761. [01:45] <@Aberrant[DM]> You sneak over.
  762. [01:45] <doraExplorer> "HAHAHA IT WONT BE LONG NOW"
  763. [01:45] * SeriousSalamander discreetly slips the coinpurse directly onto the coins
  764. [01:46] <doraExplorer> "SOON THIS BLACKNESS WILL BE ABLAZE"
  765. [01:46] <doraExplorer> "WITH YOUR R--"
  766. [01:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> You do so.
  767. [01:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> Everything disappears.
  768. [01:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> Everything is pitch black.
  769. [01:46] <Bekran> "wait --- what?"
  770. [01:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> The alarm stops.
  771. [01:46] <@Aberrant[DM]> The glow and heat from the lava and fire outside disappears.
  772. [01:47] <Bekran> "wait --- did --- you --- do --- it?
  773. [01:47] <Bekran> "i --- mean --- whatever --- it --- is"
  774. [01:47] <@Aberrant[DM]> A dim and diffuse gray light fades in.
  775. [01:47] * SeriousSalamander does his best to fix and reboot his computer
  776. [01:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> It doesn't seem to be coming from anything in particular, but rather just sort of a dim faint light coming from the air which seems somewhat hazy.
  777. [01:48] <@Aberrant[DM]> Your computer does not turn on.
  778. [01:48] <Bekran> "well --- this --- is --- boring"
  779. [01:48] <SeriousSalamander> ((can i even hear Bekran?))
  780. [01:49] <Bekran> ((can he?))
  781. [01:49] <@Aberrant[DM]> ((no, you can't))
  782. [01:49] * SeriousSalamander breaks open his captchalogued medical kit and tends to his wounds
  783. [01:49] <@Aberrant[DM]> As you sit, tending to your wounds, you are hit by a rather odd smell you aren't used to smelling.
  784. [01:49] <Bekran> "Hey ---"
  785. [01:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> It smells incredibly humid, almost drippingly wet, and very smokey and musty.
  786. [01:50] <Bekran> "are --- you --- there?"
  787. [01:50] <Bekran> You guess he can't hear you.
  788. [01:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bright white light suddenly shines through the cracks in your barrier you erected over the cave entrance.
  789. [01:50] <Bekran> What a waste of time.
  790. [01:50] <Bekran> This was just another waste of time, wasn't it?
  791. [01:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> Bekran, you see all of this on your screen.
  792. [01:50] <Bekran> Why was today just a series of wastes of time?
  793. [01:50] <@Aberrant[DM]> But you can also see outside of the cave.
  794. [01:50] * SeriousSalamander thinks that he is better off without the computer. Bekran was getting on his nerves anyway.
  795. [01:51] <Bekran> Wait, what?
  796. [01:51] <@Aberrant[DM]> You see an area that definitely doesn't look like the forest you just saw a bit ago.
  797. [01:51] * SeriousSalamander removes the debris from the cave entrance
  798. [01:51] <@Aberrant[DM]> You can't see much, but there seems to be metal girders and some bright light.
  799. [01:51] <@Aberrant[DM]> You remove the debris and are immediately flooded with bright clear crisp light.
  800. [01:51] <Bekran> What the...?
  801. [01:51] <@Aberrant[DM]> The haze in the cave seems to burn away at its presence.
  802. [01:52] * SeriousSalamander takes a quick glance but does not completely exit the cave
  803. [01:53] <@Aberrant[DM]> It is very bright outside, but you can see somethings through the blinding light.
  804. [01:53] <@Aberrant[DM]> Your cave entrance seems to be on the top of a small hill of some sort.
  805. [01:53] <@Aberrant[DM]> Metal I-beam girders jut out of the ground making a complex metal structure overhead.
  806. [01:53] <@Aberrant[DM]> You can't see what exactly it is from inside the cave.
  807. [01:54] <Bekran> This is weird.
  808. [01:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Down the hill, the light seems to abruptly end and the landscape is covered in that sort of gray swirling mist.
  809. [01:54] <Bekran> When did this happen?
  810. [01:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Whispers and strange muffled clanking noises can be heard through the dense fog, and occasional wind currents stir the mist around in complex swirling patterns.
  811. [01:54] * SeriousSalamander takes note of the color of any dirt or vegetation around
  812. [01:54] <@Aberrant[DM]> Everything smells humid and somewhat dank, almost stagnant. Sound seems damped by the heaviness of the air, and the lack of acoustics is somewhat unnerving.
  813. [01:55] <@Aberrant[DM]> The cave floor seems to be as normal.
  814. [01:55] <@Aberrant[DM]> You don't see any vegetation from where you are, but the landscape outside seems to be a deep brown porous stone of some sort, streaked with orange.
  815. [01:56] <@Aberrant[DM]> You hear a particularly loud metallic clank from outside and the bright white light outside moves, but still covers the cave entrance.
  816. [01:56] <@Aberrant[DM]> Welcome to the Land of Myst and <insert garbled text>!
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