Pony Meets Vidya- Mario Party (SFW)

>You are Twilight
>Anon has told you many interesting stories of his world
>Unfortunately, the portal closed a while ago, so as many interesting things he's told you about his world's technology, you won't get to see it
>You thought, at least
>You check the portal every day, but never until today was it open again
>Anon left through the portal, and came back with his vidya collection and a TV
>"Try to see if you can power these things with magic."
>You take the television and N64 and power them on
>After a successful test run, you call your friends over to play a game with you
"You want to play, Anon?"
>"No, I've been playing those games most of my life. I think you girls deserve a chance to play."
>He cracks a little smile as he is clearly struggling to keep a straight face
>"H-here. This game is great for multiple friends."
>He hands you a game titled "Mario Party"

P1- Twilight Sparkle
P2- Derpy Hooves
P3- Big Macintosh
P4- Naked Banana Guy

>You are Derpy
>You sit on the couch in front of the glowy box next to Big Mac and a banana
>You watch the introduction scene
>Lots of colorful characters are moving around and talking, but you have trouble reading what they're saying
>After the intro, Anon hands you something he calls a "cunt-roller"
>You were about to call him out for saying a bad word, but you were afraid Anon would get mad at you
>Anon plays the tutorial, and you try to read it
>This is what you get out of it:
>You roll a die, and you move, then you get coins, then everyone plays a game
>You like games
>This is going to be fun
>It's time to start the game for real
>You look at the character select screen
>You like the pretty lady, so you pick her
>Big Mac picks the big monkey
>The banana picks a fat man in a yellow cap
>Twilight picks the green monster looking thing
>20 turn game, bonus stars on, Map: Luigi's Engine room
>The game starts, and there's more text you have trouble reading
"When is the fun gunna start?!"
>You immediately blush and hide your face, ashamed at your outburst
>"Soon, Derpy," Anon replies
>You roll a die to see who goes first
>Big Mac rolls a 3, Twilight rolls a 1, You roll a 9 and the Banana rolls 6
>The game starts, finally

>You are Big Mac
>You think you're catching onto this rather quickly
>The first star is located up past the first blue gate, if the tutorial was any indication it's probably best to get up there as soon as you can
>Derpy rolls an 8 on her first turn, and lands on a mushroom space
>Anon explains that there's a 50/50 chance of her either losing a turn or getting another turn
>She gets a regular mushroom, and rolls again
>She ends up passing the blue gate before the turn ends
>Banana's turn
>Holding the controller with just his left hand, as the other one is covering his crotch, he presses A
>He gets a 5, and lands on a single player minigame space
>Five different possible mini-games pop up on screen, and a roulette starts to pick one of them

-Ghost Guess
-Whack-a-Plant
-Teetering Towers
-Knock Block Tower
-Ground Pound

>You are Anon
>The roulette lands on Whack-a-Plant
>Well shit, the guy's got the best single-player minigame on his first turn
>The game starts, and unsurprisingly, the banana gets every plant in the first few rounds
>By the fourth round though, you start questioning things
>He chains all four plants perfectly, skipping over one but then returning to land back on him later, spinning quickly in midair
>This guy is trying to show off
>By the later rounds, he's doing full 360 spins and moving diagonally, taking all the hardest routes to get every single plant
>All the while, Derpy mashes buttons on her controller, wondering why nothing is happening
>The Banana finishes the game with all 36 coins
>What the fuck? First of all, how is he this good the first time playing the game?
>Second of all, how is he this good when the entire time he had one hand over his crotch?
>"Uh, I think my..."
>Derpy sits for a second and contemplates what she should say next
>"My marehood-roller is broken..."
>She blushes lightly
>You have no clue how to reply, so you don't
>Big Mac's turn
>A minus block appears above his head
>He rolls a 4, which takes away 4 coins, and lands on a red space, taking away 3
>He stares blankly at the screen

>Twilight's turn
>She rolls an 8 as well, and arrives at the intersection
>"Hmm... If I go left, I land on a blue space, earning 3 coins, leaving a 100% chance of benefit, while going down would lead to a mushroom space, and have the possibility of rolling again, leaving a 50% chance of benefit..."
>She places her controller down and leans her head on her hoof, thinking
>"But the benefit from the mushroom space would be greater, as it would give me a chance at the star, as I'd be able to get a chance to get past the gate before they switch at the start of the next turn..."
>Derpy starts poking Big Mac in the side
>"Though, I'd need to roll either a 5 or higher to get past the gate, and less than a 7 to not overshoot the star, because I don't have enough coins for a star..."
>Big Mac continues to stare blankly at the screen, not reacting to Derpy, who was now playing with his lips in attempt to recreate certain facial expressions
>"If I got less than 5, I would land before the gate, and would likely have to go through either red gate next turn, which would REALLY throw me off, but If I got a low enough roll both on turns I could last until the blue gate lowers again... if I go left and take the 3 coins, it would lead to the same situation..."
>Derpy tries to recreate the smug look on the banana's face with Big Mac's face
>"But wait, if I were to get a Poison Mushroom, skipping next turn, then I would come back during the next turn that the blue gate is down, giving me just as good a chance, assuming the star hasn't already been taken by somepony else!"
>Big Mac finally pushes Derpy off of him, and she sits down on the couch, staring down, ashamed
>"And all of this rides on my ability to win the minigame at the end of the turn, because even if I get the mushroom and get a 5 or 6, if I don't have enough coins, I'd go past the star anyway! I don't even know what any of the minigames are! How can I win a minigame if I have no clue what it is?!"

>"...but, if I get the poison mushroom, I have an extra chance to win a minigame before the blue gate comes down a second time. So, it's best to go... down."
>Thank fuck
>She's been at this for ten minutes now
>She lands on the mushroom space, and gets a regular mushroom
>"Ah! No! Um... okay, you can fix this. You just need to get a 5 or a 6."
>She rolls a 7
>"No! Ugh, stupid game..."
>She lands on another mushroom space, the one right past the star
>She gets a poison mushroom
>She just stares blankly at it
>Minigame time!
>1v3, with Big Mac as the solo team
>The roulette of five minigames shows up on screen

-Bowl Over
-Bash n' Cash
-Tug o' War
-Coin Shower Flower
-Tightrope Treachery

>The roulette lands on Tug o'War