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May 25th, 2015
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  1. I put in an order to the empire to send me a shitload of badasses and pillage-hungry murder machines. Instead all I got was you cupcake cockclowns and a side order of fucknuggets. I can tell at a glance that at least 50% of you are cocksuckers, and the other 50% are cocksuckers who've never been told to believe in themselves. I'm going to shove my boot so far and fast up your assholes it'll trigger a geological event. You all reek of poverty and animal abuse. Every breath you take is a stunning endorsement of abortion.You shitstains are a collective masterpiece of failure. You cockgoblins circle jerk each other to exhaustion every night. You signed up to get pounded by the Titans and probably cried like sissies when you realized they actually don't have dicks. Your sensitive pussies cry so many tears you could float away on a river of douche canoes. You glitter-toed, cock-wrangling fairytinkle fagpuffin fuckpuppets are gonna get your collective anal cavities stretched so far apart you'll think you were getting double-fisted by the Colossal Titan himself! I will reorganize the failure that is all of your lives. I will FUCKSTART your souls. I'll make you mongoloid rock-chomping thundercunts scream harder than your mothers after her fourth failed coathanger abortion. I'm going to chop off your shriveled balls, put them where your eyes should be, put a sombrero on your head and beat you like a pinata. Hell I'll make you shit so many bricks you'll put the Mexicans out of buisness. But fear NOT. Because in three years, I will turn you cock monarchs into fuckmasters of galactic destruction!
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