The Day the Dev Team Lied

"The Day the Dev Team Lied"

[Intro]
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how I looked to new games with a smile
And I knew that when it came out
That it might even make me shout
With excitement, with my friends, for a while

But release day, it all slowed
With every new level that would load
Bad news on the patch notes
I couldn't believe the press quotes

I can't remember if I raged
But I certainly was disengaged
I realised it all was staged
The day the dev team lied

[Chorus:]
So bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Verse 1]
Did you preorder Fable 1
And would you have faith in God above
If Molyneux told you so?
Now did you believe the plants would grow?
That nothing would tell you where to go?
That you could do anything in his show?

Well, I knew that that there was truth in him
'Cause I felt his passion wasn't dim
I thought passion had mean truth
Maybe it was a folly of youth

I was a lonely teenage vidya nerd
Who loved fantasy so I followed the herd
But I knew not to believe a word
The day the dev team lied

[Chorus:]
I started singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Verse 2]
Now for seven years we'd begun to learn
And an flame-scorched man can be hard to burn
But that's not how it'll always be
When the Toddster shucked his new RPG
With a trailer that inspired glee
In fans of Elder Scrolls four and three

Oh, and while we all were looking wise
The Todd man gave us the puppy eyes
It seemed to be truth this time
The mountains we would climb!

And while the websites proclaimed GOTY
Bethesda's profits began to fly
And we all could only sigh
The day the dev team lied

[Chorus:]
We were singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Verse 3]
Molyneux's career had gone in the smelter
And Todd was building a Fallout Shelter
And telling us to "Buy his game!" [shout]
We saw a trailer full of grass
And pardon me if I'm sounding crass
But this No Man's Sky seemed like it might kick ass

But I knew by then to never hope
While the internet proclaimed its new pope
He'd built a universe
Oh, but it all was so much worse

'Cause there was nothing he said was there
No faction support, no multiplayer
Who do you think became aware?
The day the dev team lied?

[Chorus:]
We started singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Verse 4]
Oh, and there we were all in one place
A sales demographic left disgraced
With no chance left to dream again
So come anons, let's all laugh, let's tell jokes
It's the only way to deal with a hoax
'Cause laughter is a cynic's only friend

[These two verses are mostly unchanged from the original song. They just fit too well.]
Oh, and as I rewatched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan's spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the dev team lied.
[/unoriginal verses]

[Chorus:]
He was singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Outro]
I went to /v/ and I perused
And I tried to find some happy news
But they just laughed and called me gay
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd preordered the game months before
But the man there said no returns if it'll play

And on the web, the fanboys screamed
The twitter cried and subreddits dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The official forums were broken

And all the devs I admired most
Taught me on thing through their boast
They taught me to give preorders an adios
The day the dev team lied.

[Chorus:]
And they were singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies

[Chorus:]
They were singing bye, bye, Mr. Director Guy
Took my copy back to Gamestop and I started to cry
And them boys on /v/ were all greentexting ">buy"
Sayin' everything the devs said was lies
Everything the devs said was lies