SA-3: Cabin Fever

>Day Fluttercorn just doesn’t know when to quit in Equestria.
>Long redundant day name is accurate.
>You are Anon the seraphim.
>You are still stuck in your house.
>Sure you could go outside, but then you would start the apocalypse.
>Celestia would buck your sorry self to the sun if you did that.
>Luna would then kick you back so she could drop the moon on you.
>Cadance can’t do squat.
>The rest would just buck you and not with their hooves.
>Unless they are into that.
>You shiver slightly and your six wings hug you tightly.
>You perform the sovereign special S’s spectacular.
>Sacred shit (you don’t even have excrement), soothing shower (you never sweat or get dirty), and the smooth shave (your facial hair has stop growing all together).
>Look at yourself, can’t even fulfill the very thing you are in charge of.
>Everything is fine, just fine.

>”Anon.”
“Oh hi Fluttershy, when did you come in?”
>”You’ve been staring at the mirror for a while now...”
“I have?”
>”I knocked on the door, then I helped myself in and I’ve been waiting for you for the past half hour.”
“Time flies when you are being reflective.”
>Ha, you made a joke.
>Laugh damn it!
>I see you right now and you are not laughing!
>”Anon, you’re spacing out again.”
“What? Oh, right you’re here.”
>”Why don’t we leave the bathroom and get you a nice bowl of cereal. You like cereal remember. A tasty bowl of Fruity Foals, they even taste like foals.”
“Oh that would be lovely, expect that I can’t eat food because it disintegrates the moment I put it into my mouth. Something about being made of divine fire just makes things turn to ash before me.”
>Your laugh is hearty and not at all forced.
>Everything is fine, just fine.

>”Oh well, um, I have some fetishes I want to share with you.”
>You look down at her, you are not amused.
“Really, I would have never guessed.”
>She takes out a pair of socks.
“Fluttershy we’ve done socks before. In fact that is the same pair.”
>”Oh I know. I also know that I got your fetish right before. You just lied about it, which by the way is very rude mister.”
>She struggles with the socks until she finally forces the pair over her legs.
>They rip.
>Fat flank Fluttercorn fails forever.
>”I’m not fat, just a little bigger than before.”
>Whoops did you say that out loud?
>”Unless you like it bigger...or maybe you liked it smaller.”
“I wasn’t interested then and I’m not interested now.”
>She’s waving her flank in the air like she just doesn’t care.
>”How about the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation?”
“We can’t even have children so it would be a lie.”
>”Our love would overcome that.”
“Even if that did somehow happen we would end up with a centaur abomination.”
>”What’s a centaur, and is it cute?”
“Think Iron Will, but a lot meaner.”
>”Our love would keep her in line.”
“You can’t even keep a rabbit in line.”
>”Speaking of bunnies.”
>Fluttershy dons a bunny suit.
>You wish it was the Playboy kind.
>”Are furies your fetish?”
>Everything is fine, just fine.

>”You said that twice now.”
>Huh, you didn’t notice.
“Well you shared your guesses with me, I’ll see you later.”
>”Oh, I’m not going anywhere. Since you aren’t going anywhere today I have a full list of fetishes to try again.”
“Don’t you have a beaver to go message?”
>Hint, hint Rainbowcorn.
>”No, she just doesn’t care about that right now.”
“Ok am I actually saying these things out loud and not realizing it or are you reading my mind.”
>”Well when two ponies love each other so much they can sometimes understand each other without saying a word.”
>You stare at her incredulously.
>”Guess my thoughts Anon!”
>You reach out and touch her wing.
“You’re thinking oh my gosh my wing is on fire help help.”
>Fluttershy looks at your finger touching her wing.
>A whole lot of nothing is happening.
>Everything is fine, just fine.

>”Oh Anon I knew you wouldn’t burn me.”
“That should have worked. I mean you have a rather perverse mind.”
>Fluttershy huffs at you.
>”My love is pure and untainted.”
“Imagine me without my robes.”
>Wha—AAHHH!”
>There we go; one hot wing to go please.
>She quickly bats the flames away leaving behind a few blackened feathers.
>”Well somep0ny is in a bad mood.”
>She is staring at your wings with a concerned look on her face.
“Fluttershy this is not going to work out, I’ve told you I’m a human and you’re a pony.”
>”Well you’re not a human anymore. So it should be ok.”
>You’re not a human anymore.
>You wouldn’t even be able to talk to another human without killing them with your presence.
>Is this your life now?
>Fluttershy opens her wings wide and wraps you in a tight hug.
>”Would it make you feel better if you sang a song?”
“...Yes.”
>Ever since becoming a feathered freak you had an urge to sing a lot.
>You didn’t sing before in your life but for some reason it is soothing to sing.
>Helps that you have the best blessed voice this side of eternity.
>It came part of the divinity care package.
>If only you weren’t trapped in this house.
>Everything will be fine, just fine...

>You are Princess Rarity, wielder of Generosity and Clairvoyance.
>Also the owner of a rather lovely diamond castle.
>You grew it out of the ground just yesterday.
>Cadance can keep her crystal empire.
>You’ve made a new ritual to your morning routines.
>You visit Anon’s house around the time he starts to sing.
>Oh that voice makes you shiver.
>He’s like a bird trapped in a cage.
>And like a good pet you make him dependent on you alone.
>He will only see you and your friends.
>Anon will writhe and squirm like a jail bird.
>Desperation will set in and he will surrender.
>He will come to adore you and run those marvelous appendages through your coat.
>It’s for his own good.
>Here comes the crescendo.
“Such a lovely song bird.”
>Wonder if you should clip his wings before he hurts himself.