Autotelic Jacks Review - Brainstorm (Alamanar)

For timing reference if needed, in my ddream the first note falls on 1.795.
Each comment is prefixed with a sequential number for easier back-referencing (also useful when you respond to this).

(1) 2.545, 5.974
I strongly recommend making those [14] to differentiate between:
- Guitar + Percussion: [124] (e.g. 1.795)
- Only guitar : [14] (e.g. 2.545)
- Only Percussion : [24] (e.g. 2.224)

(2) 3.188 and 3.402, 6.616 and 6.831
Missing jumps. Note that the 32nds are from the sound that makes the long jack, while the snare hits that induce jumps are on every 16th from 3.188 to 3.402.

(3) 5.116
missing note

(4) 5.331
ghost note

(5) 7.795 to 8.545
That's not a new instrument, it's the sound of the long jack changing pitch.
So there shouldn't be any notes on column 4 and the only justifiable jumps are on the 4ths.

(6) 8.759 to 14.974
Almost a repetition, see notes (1) to (7). Unless you layer in the added vocals, layering should be the same and the only room for difference is the patterning of 11.652 to 12.081.

(7) 15.295 and 15.402
Considering the heavy layering all around, I see no reason to ignore these two percussion notes.
There is also a faint note on 15.188 but that can be ignored.

(8) 15.509 to 20.652
There are various errors in the change of pr for that main sound inducing the jacks.
Here is a list of timestamps where its pitch changes so that the jack column must change: 15.509, 15.938, 16.152, 16.366, 17.331, 17.438, 17.652, 17.866, 18.081, 18.509, 18.938, 19.366, 19.581, 19.795, 20.652.
Make sure the jack columns themselves follow proper pr too.

(9) 16.259, 19.688
Similar to (1), I recommend adding only a single note when it's only guitar (e.g. making it [12]).

(10) 16.366
Missing note to percussion

(11) 20.438 to 20.652
This http://imgur.com/v12ea9H (20.438 to 20.652) flows differently from http://imgur.com/sjzhJJe (17.009 to 17.224) because of handness.
This is a minor suggestion but being consistent in this kind of thing is generally good.
The split configuration on 17.009 to 17.224 is preferrable because the sound inducing the 32nds is actually the background buzz that you aren't following anywhere else in this section.

(12) 22.366 to 25.688
Repetition of 15.509 to 18.831 and I see no good reason to not make it identical.

(13) 27.509 and 27.616
Same sound on both, should be layered equally (e.g. [234][234]).
The following jumps are fine given the fade out.

(14) 28.152 to 29.045
People often play jack charts with accuracy in mind - especially when you have a intro like this chart that makes rates harder than usual - so having sudden unquantized stuff can be a bit annoying.
I'll leave this up to you though.

(15) 29.224 to 29.902 and 32.652 to 33.331
Not a big fan of representing that sound in a dump-like way like that, especially considering its 'floaty' nature clashes badly with the 'tight' nature of jacks in general.
Maybe something cute with holds would work better.
Additionally, ignoring the bass hit on 29.224 and 32.652 is a bit bad.
What I said on (14) is also valid.

(16) 30.081 to 32.545
That sound making those jacks has a different pitch and is barely audible alongside the bass and kick hits (30.081, 30.938, 31.581 and 31.795) so that the jack column shouldn't be 'connected' at those timestamps.
I recommend toning down the layering by making the bass a single note, the kick a jump and ignoring that sound making jacks alongside the previous two (e.g. http://imgur.com/a/3rsNd).
Alternatively you can add the hihat happening on each 4th to the layering and assign a single note to both bass and kick.

(17) 33.509 to 35.224
Same as (16).

(18) 35.224 to 35.866
Use either jumps or holds to accent this, not both. Jumps on the same hand feels better but holds are more 'correct' as this is still the same intrument but modulated.
The last 35.866 should be a single note regardless.

(19) 36.081 to 37.795
Less problematic than (15) but still a bit of the same problem, those sounds lack a clear attack so this becomes borderline dumping.
Additionally, the 32nds on 36.938 to 37.366 as one-handed minitrills detracts from the jack focus of the chart.

(20) 38.652
Missing hand to kick.

(21) 39.509
Only bass so it should be a jump (note that there isn't a crash like in 36.081).

(22) 39.509 to 41.224
Sames as (19).

(23) 40.152
Missing jump to bass.

(24) 42.938 to 54.938
Mostly repetition so use the previous notes as reference.

(25) 56.652 to 84.081
Same as 15.509 to 25.688 with added percussion, use notes (8) to (12) as reference.

Wrapping notes:
As I mentioned before, I'll add an easier difficulty without the intro long jack and lighter layering all around to make the chart more accessible for people outside sunsun land.
Definitely the most important thing is fixing the jacks mentioned on (5), (8) and (16).
Consider layering some ignored hihats and snares to balance the chart a bit instead of simply making bigger chords out of single intruments/sounds.
There are some smaller problems with PR that I didn't mention because they are likely to change according to this review anyway.