What Friends Are For (ch2)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY HIGH-PLEDGING PATRONS! THANK YOU!!

So since the previous chapter was told from Violet's perspective, this one is going to read a bit more normally from Luculia's. Still dramatic as hell though. Make sure you've seen the whole show before reading so you don't get spoiled!

Correlates to the events of the previous chapter in certain ways. You'll see.

Disclaimer: I do not own Violet Evergarden.

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															Chapter 2.

Luculia can't recall exactly what had brought her to the Auto Memoir Dolls' office today. She can vaguely remember she'd wanted to ask Violet to write a page to one of Luculia's distant relatives. Nothing terribly pertinent, just a familial wellness check sort of thing.

It's nearing evening now as she travels on-foot with a smile, pleasantly greeting nearly every passerby. The air is cool as the sun slips down over the horizon, painting the sky in pinks and golds.

Luculia can see the building before long and she hurries onward with a spring in her step. It's been a while since she'd last seen Violet, probably a few weeks or so. She can't wait to see her again, to get to sit and talk to her about her letter, about her feelings. It was almost therapeutic in a way, and there was no one she felt more at-ease with than Violet.

As she nears the building, Luculia slows her pace when she realizes the sizable crowd that's gathered there. She can't understand why there's such a sudden demand for ghostwriting. There is no holiday approaching, no war that is ending, no major widespread event that would warrant so many people crowding the lines at this hour.

She slows her pace as she reaches the crowds, and she doesn't need to ask before they give her an answer.

"They say Violet-chan isn't in?"

"Apparently she hasn't been for a few days now."

"Poor thing. Is she ill?"

"She's the only one I want to ghostwrite for me! I'll wait as long as I have to!"

It seems just about everyone here is talking about Violet's absence.

Initially Luculia is amazed that Violet had gathered such a large group of customers who preferred her writing above anyone else's.

But that flicker of pride is quickly doused by a heavy drowning rain.

She hasn't known Violet terribly long, but she knows what kind of girl she is. Violet would never abstain from her work, even if she were ill, without very very good reason. Even if she'd traveled great distances for a job and was exhausted, she would still always go right back to work the very next day.

So for these people to be saying she hadn't been back in a few consecutive days sent a tremor of unease through Luculia's heart.

The crowds suddenly grow quiet as everyone's attention is directed toward the building. Iris has stepped out and presently raises her voice.

"Our sincerest apologies everyone, but we will be closing for the night soon. Please come back tomorrow at your earliest convenience."

As the people sigh and disperse, Luculia hurries forward.

"Iris-san!"

The other girl pauses until she recognizes the owner of the voice.

"Ah, Luculia-san." Iris makes her way down the steps to meet her halfway. Even before Luculia can speak, she can already tell Iris' smiling expression is forced. Luculia purses her lips.

"What's all this I'm hearing about Violet not being here? Is she sick?"

Iris immediately drops her gaze and refuses to look up again.

"Well, you see... something happened."

Luculia can feel her heart striking painfully. She presses a hand to her chest as her voice quiets.

"What... do you mean...?"

Iris scraps her shoe against the ground, then runs a hand back through her hair helplessly.

"Well, you see... you know that Major she's always been talking about? The one she knew and fought alongside in the war? The one she's been... waiting for all this time...?"

She doesn't need to finish.

Luculia feels as though she's going to collapse. Her hands fly to her mouth as tears jump into her eyes.

"No... don't tell me..."

Iris still won't look up. She heaves a sigh.

"A lot of us had suspected it. We didn't have any proof of course, so we never said anything. But Violet found out the truth... No one has seen her since."

Luculia shakes her head as the tears begin to drip down. It feels like her heart drops into her stomach, which is gnarled with dread.

"No... oh, no..." Luculia lowers her face into her hands just as Iris finally looks up.

"She locked herself away in her room. Everyone's just waiting for her to come out again, but she won't speak to anyone."

Upon hearing this, Luculia bites her lip. She wipes her eyes vigorously, the grief now quickly consumed by concern.

"W-What? You've got to go check on her! She could be-"

"We've all been trying," Iris says. "She just sends us away. We have to let her grieve."

"But she-!"

"Luculia-san." Iris takes a step forward and rests a hand on her shaking shoulder. "Can I... make a selfish request?"

"Eh...?"

Iris looks down again, and this time a tear falls down.

"Could you... please go check on Violet? As far as I know you're the only one who knows her personally who hasn't gone to see her yet. I'm sorry. We should've contacted you about it, but we just-"

"I'll go!" She turns around instantly and starts making her way for the town again. "I'll go see her!"

"Hold on!" Iris grabs her wrist to stop her and turns her back around. "If you do... if she does let you in or hear you out... please tell her we're all worried."

Luculia finally meets her eyes, and they're swimming with distress. She's never seen Iris of all people like this before. She nods.

"Of course."

"Thanks. And sorry." With this Iris releases her.

Luculia sets off at a brisk pace toward Violet's residence. The sun has already slipped away behind the horizon, and she soon breaks out into a run.

By the time she finds herself at the door to the apartments, the sun is gone. She doesn't even stop to catch her breath, though. She simply pushes in and makes her way up the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible before running the final stretch to Violet's door.

There are several plates of cold, untouched food waiting outside, along with small bags and a few flowers. None of them have been so much as looked at by the person they are intended for.

Luculia finally pauses as she reaches the door, trying to quiet her own gasping breath so she may listen. There's no sound of voice or movement from inside. But Luculia knows if Violet is indeed there, she isn't sleeping.

After losing her parents, Luculia hadn't slept for many many nights, and she imagines Violet's pain right now is akin to the pain she herself had suffered then. Her heart is still pounding, shaking through her entire body, both from the run and from the fear for her friend. Tears had dried on her cheeks, but now fresh ones begin to dribble down again.

When she lifts her hand to knock her arm is trembling. Her knuckles make contact with the wood softly, but the sound it produces sounds far too loud and she winces. Luculia makes sure to keep her voice very quiet as she calls for her.

"Violet...?"

She waits, hoping beyond hope that the door will open inward and she'll be allowed in.

But of course it isn't that simple.

The silence drags on, and she feels her heart is making more of a racket than anything else. Her hand moves down to the knob and tries to turn it to no avail.

"Violet? It's me, Luculia. P-Please..." She swallows hard but it doesn't go down, causing her to sob. "Violet..."

A moment passes, and she thinks she hears something. Not much, just the sway of fabric over the floorboards. But then there's an unmistakable sound.

"I'm sorry..."

Violet's voice.

It's beautiful, because it fills Luculia with the utmost relief.

But it's also awful because of how weighted with sorrow it is.

She sounds like she's drowning, like she's being crushed.

And then the sounds of sobbing.

Luculia clasps both hands to her own mouth before she realizes it isn't herself making those distraught sounds. Violet's voice breaks in agony on the other side of the door. It starts out rather stifled, and Luculia calls for her again.

"Violet? Violet, p-please. I... I know it's painful but... please let me in... I-"

But her words seem to go unnoticed, or if they are heard they go unheeded.

Because Violet's voice rises up even higher, to a pitch Luculia had never known was possible for her. It shatters not like a vase, but like an entire cathedral's worth of glass windows. It's gone beyond the breathless hiccups and now escalated to the utmost sorrow. Caterwauls of emotion, of helplessness, of pain.

Luculia can't stand it. She grips the door knob more firmly and twists, pushing with her shoulder against the wood and the frame. She pushes with all her might, until her shoes are skidding against the floor.

"Violet-"

She can only listen to her pain, to her sobs, to her broken heart tumbling out of her lips. The grief is so overwhelming, it sounds like her soul is leaving her body.

Luculia had known that grief, perhaps not exactly, but to a close enough degree.

But more than the grief, she knows how painful it is to grieve alone. She won't let Violet be alone through this. She won't.

"Violet-"

She pushes harder against the door, forcing her weight forward until her shoulder is burning from the pressure. She presses hard, until she can feel the door trembling as much as her own body.

Violet cries out again. Luculia chokes.

Please...

Suddenly there's nothing left to support her weight. With a gasp she falls forward as the door cracks from the frame, the knob rolling somewhere unimportant as she stumbles into the room. It happens so quickly she can barely comprehend it.

Violet isn't in her bed or at her desk. She's crumpled to her knees on the floor, crying her heart out.

Luculia just barely manages to find her footing long enough to steer herself toward her. And with one more step she collapses beside her and throws her arms around her.

"Violet!"

She holds her tightly, more tightly than she's ever held anyone before. Tighter than she'd held her parents before they'd left. Tighter than she'd held her brother when he'd returned.

"Violet... Violet!"

She weeps with her. She weeps for her.

She weeps for the pain and the sorrow.

But also for the relief. The relief of finding Violet, and of getting to be with her in her darkest hour.

Maybe Violet doesn't want her here. Maybe Luculia is just being selfish.

But she just can't let her go. She can't.

Their bodies shudder together as Luculia holds tightly to her, telling herself it's for Violet's sake more than her own.

Violet continues to cry for several seconds, as if it takes her that long to realize what's happened, to register Luculia's touch. She lifts her head from her hands to find her chin resting on someone else's shoulder, to feel someone else's arms around the back of her neck instead of her own. Luculia's hands are just as tight, but not at all threatening. When everything finally registers, Violet's voice slips out in a fractured whisper.

"Luculia...?"

The way she says her name. It makes Luculia believe Violet hadn't even been aware of her presence until now. Which means the apology Violet had spoken earlier hadn't been meant for her, but for someone else. Someone who can no longer hear her.

Luculia tightens her embrace, pressing one hand against the center of Violet's back while the other slides up to cradle the back of her head. She can't find words to say any longer other than hiccups of Violet's name.

And it seems Violet can't speak anymore either.

All they can do is cry.

As loud as their voices allow, for as long as they allow.

Until they begin to crack and quiet.

The tears have formed damp spots in each girls' clothing, either on their shoulders or in their laps. Several stray droplets have sunk into the floorboards surrounding them.

But even after their voices have turned to rasps and their tears have run dry, they don't let go of one another.

Luculia begins to feel the effects of everything, of the run here and of the deep-rooted panic and distress. She's gasping as though she'd just finished the sprint a third time, shaking as though she'd done it through a blizzard.

That's how severely the crying has weakened her. That's how hard she's weeping for Violet. Her heart feels so tired and yet it continues to pound up against Violet's chest.

And if Violet still can't believe the reality from Luculia's voice and her arms alone, her heart is what grounds it. To feel another pulse pressed over her own is confirmation of Luculia's presence, of her unconditional love and support for Violet.

Violet herself would find no trouble in breaking down a door, but she knows it must have been painful for Luculia. But she also realizes that Luculia's desire to see her - to make sure Violet was all right - was far greater than any fear of her own discomfort. People like that are few and far between.

Violet continues clinging to her back and sides, balling the metal fingers into fists with bruising force. But she takes care only to clutch the fabrics and never presses hard up against Luculia's body.

The night falls quietly around them now as the last of the sobs dwindle away.

It's only after some time when Luculia draws herself back a little, still cradling the back of Violet's neck. She lifts her face, miserable forest-green eyes finding the dazed ocean-like teal. Before Violet can speak, Luculia goes first.

"I'm sorry..." Even though she'd thought she'd cried all she could, she feels more tears welling up again. "I'm so sorry... Violet..." She bows to rest her forehead on Violet's shoulder and weep again. Violet's grip on her clothes loosens a little.

"Why... are you apologizing...?" Her voice is a rasp as well, scratchy and feeble. Luculia loops her free arm around the girl's waist.

"For everything... for barging in without your permission... for not coming to you sooner... for not... being able to do anything at all..." She tapers off under the weight of more tears.

Violet spreads her fingers a little, allowing herself to make contact with as much of Luculia's body as possible.

"The door... can be mended. As for the rest... it isn't your fault. Apologizes are unnecessary."

"But I-!" Luculia raises her head once more, trying to seek Violet's eyes again. But instead she notices something else. Something she hadn't seen before.

The marks. Discolored marks on Violet's neck.

The porcelain-pale skin has been marred with light purple in several places. When she looks closely she realizes they form the shapes of hands and fingers.

Luculia feels her heart stop. She suddenly can't breathe. She sways, though her eyes never leave Violet.

Then her breath comes back all at once, but she can't remember how to use it. It comes in quick panting breaths as fresh tears rush down. Violet tries to steady her.

"Luculia...?"

Luculia croaks.

"V-Violet... what... what did you...?" She reaches forward, her fingers shaking so badly she barely makes it. She rests them ever so gently against the side of Violet's neck, where she'd strangled herself not long ago. When the marks don't smear off, it confirms they're real. Luculia feels a rush of nausea up her throat, and she truly feels she's about to be ill.

"Violet! Violet!"

She throws herself at her in desperation and in disbelief and in terror. She knocks Violet to the floor, clinging to her as she rests on top. The sobs that choke her now are almost debilitating, and she can hardly breathe. Helpless words tumble from her quivering lips, drenched with tears.

"Violet... n-no... please..."

And Violet lays beneath her, with both hands resting limply on Luculia's back, eyes trained on the ceiling. As Luculia cries now, Violet feels more wretched than ever before.

At first, Luculia had wept for Violet. She had wept because of the horrible circumstances that had arisen, and because of the terrible truths that had been revealed.

But now...

Now she is crying because of Violet.

Because Violet had done something foolish, something that would cause her friends immensely more pain than it would cause herself.

The tears Luculia is shedding now are Violet's fault.

And in her desire to take responsibility for that, she lets her mind relinquish its grip on all other thoughts.

Instead she holds onto her. Just her.

Luculia can't stop crying. She's cried so much recently it almost hurts to keep going, but she can't stop. Not now that she knows what Violet had almost done.

She cries, and Violet lets her.

She cries until she realizes Violet isn't anymore. It isn't easy, but she pushes herself up and looks down at her friend. Luculia's tears drip down onto Violet's cheeks.

"Violet..."

She'd lost her Major. She'd lost her entire world. And yet she isn't crying anymore. Luculia is the one crying, and she hadn't even lost anyone.

But she could've. She could've, and even that is too much for her to bear.

She drops her head back down onto Violet's shoulder, wailing her name softly.

Violet braces her weight on her elbows and pushes herself up gradually until her back is straight. She leans back against the side of the bed and keeps her arms around Luculia. And Violet's tears begin to fall again, quietly this time, one by one rather than a flood.

Luculia doesn't let go. She ducks her face into her own shoulder to wipe her eyes, reaching out slowly to touch her friend's cheek.

"I'm so sorry... You're the one who needs to cry, not me..."

The pads of her fingers travel with featherlight softness down to the marks on Violet's neck, tracing them gently, as if to rub them away.

Violet's gaze stares across the room to the broken door and all of the food and flowers on the other side. Then her eyes travel back down into her lap, where Luculia's other hand has found its way over hers.

"No one..."

"Eh?" Luculia can't make out what she says. She sniffles and tries to listen better. Violet tries again.

"No one... to my knowledge, no one has ever cried for my sake this much."

Luculia holds more tightly to her hand.

"Of course I would! I was so worried about you, Violet! Everyone was... they still are..."

"Then... it is I who should be apologizing."

"No. You didn't do anything wrong, either."

Once more, Luculia wraps both arms around her shoulders and embraces her, more gently this time. She feels Violet shaking, feels her heart flutter, feels the tears dripping into her clothes.

For a while, Luculia runs her hands over Violet's back in soothing patterns, wishing she could ease the pain, if only a little. When her hand travels up again her fingers touch where Violet's hair is still tied into two tight buns. Carefully she unties them, releasing the tension and letting it all fall freely. It's the smallest form of relief, but it's something. Luculia strokes through Violet's tresses, all the way down to the small of her back.

Violet cries some more, but Luculia refrains. She'd done her share of weeping. She wants to be strong for her now.

The moonlight enters quietly through the window, bathing the room in pale light. A breath of wind slips in, sweeping away the last of their cries as it goes.

Luculia can feel for herself when Violet's body begins to grow limp. The exhaustion of her grief finally culminates all at once and takes hold of her.

So Luculia gives her one more squeeze before helping to lie her down. She herself doesn't have the strength to lift her onto the bed, so she simply lets Violet rest her head in her lap.

As Violet settles, Luculia reaches for a stuffed toy dog sitting on the floor nearby. She hadn't really taken note of its presence before, but now she brings it close and offers it to her friend. Violet reaches out with timid fingers and accepts it, pulling it close.

"Thank you... Luculia. For everything."

Luculia smiles down at her and continues to pet through her hair.

"Like I said, this kind of thing... it's what friends are for."

Violet hides her mouth behind the dog.

"That's right. You did say that. You said to tell you if anything happened... And yet... I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I understand. This was... this was simply too much for you to handle... but please..." Two more tears drip down Luculia's face, and Violet watches them fall. "Please... no matter h-how bad it may seem... no matter how painful it may be, please... don't ever hurt yourself again, Violet. Please..."

Violet gives the tiniest of nods.

"I'm sorry."

"Then promise me." Luculia presents her pinkie finger expectantly. But Violet blinks up at her in confusion.

"What's this?"

"A pinkie promise. You loop your pinkie with mine and then the contract is sealed indefinitely. It's unbreakable."

Violet has made and broken her fair share of promises before, and she's had many broken in return.

But Luculia is different. She can't tell exactly how, but she is. Violet knows Luculia would never break a promise to her, and so she wants to be sure she will never break one to Luculia either.

So she slowly reaches one hand forward and curls her pinkie with hers. Luculia gives a squeeze.

"Contract sealed."

"Are there any official documents we need to sign? What about a formal witness?"

"No. This is a promise just between you and I."

"I see... Then if something happens, you won't hurt yourself either, correct?"

"I won't. I promise."

Hearing her say that makes Violet feel much better.

But Luculia can tell she can barely keep her eyes open at this point. So she gently uncurls their fingers and rests her hand on Violet's side, running it up and down gently. Her other hand cards through the long blonde hair and wipes away the trails of the tears.

"Rest. I'll get breakfast for you in the morning."

At last Violet's eyelashes flutter shut.

"Luculia... thank you..."

Luculia smiles and leans forward, planting a soft kiss to the girl's temple.

"You've very welcome, Violet."

She stays awake for a few minutes longer, keeping her vigil over Violet as she finally succumbs to slumber.

And even for a while after that Luculia watches over her, clearing away the last of her tears. With meticulous slowness she pulls a blanket off from the bed behind herself and covers Violet.

Then she kisses her forehead one last time before closing her eyes, falling asleep with Violet's hand in her own.

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A/N: Well there you have it, folks! My over-dramatic, overly-suspenseful contribution to this fandom. Big thanks to my handful of readers and supporters!