Puuchu The Lich: Chronicler's apprentice chapter 1

>You are Anonymous the Lich
>Or at least you used to be, before you met your mentor in Necromancy
>Who's name is also Anonymous
>And he's a Lich as well
>Also you are not a conventional Lich
>You became a Lich by accident.
>No deals with Demons and ancient dark rituals for you.
>No my good sir. A man operating an industrial mechanical arm did this to you.
>He managed to pull out your soul and used it to power his Ipod.
>Which he also stole from you.
>Leaving you in a coma.
>You are killed from, of all things, Carbon Monoxide Poison.
>That is how you became a Lich.
>Needless to say, that this does not make your mentor very happy.
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>"I hope you are aware as to why I am displeased with how you came to be correct?"

>Your cant hear him over "One More Time" by Daft Punk being played by your Ipod.

>"For the hate of all things dark, STOP USING YOUR PHYLACTERY AS A-"

>Still don't even notice him over the singer's solo
>Until he severs your leg with a doom blade

"What the heck man, one does not simply interrupt 'One More Time'!"

>"I see you would like to recieve a Doom Blade one more time as well."
> and the hand holding the Ipod mysteriously leaves your arm. Luckily a pair of nice 150 dollar skull candy headphones leads you right to the little bugger.

>"Do I have your attention now?"

> In a huff of breath you don't even need
"Yes."
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>"Allow me to recap on your situation. First off your Phylactery is a music playing device that is quite popular in the world you come from. This is in and of itself, quite convenient for you, seeing as how next to none would ever guess that such a device may serve the purpose of housing one's soul."

"It is pretty awesome now that I don't have to worry about charging this bad boy anymore."

>"... Moving on. Secondly, after a month of training, you have proven adept at the art of restoration. This is an oddity considering our current state, but a useful skill nevertheless."

>You just finished reapplying your hand and leg as he says this, Why he liked going for your legs you'll probably never know. It might just be his fetish.

>"Lastly, and this irritates me the most, is your training in the magical arts. Which is NONE! Outside of what little I have instructed you on, you achieved Lichdom with no effort. I AM OVER 10000 YEARS OLD, AND A MERE WELP IS ABLE TO ACHIEVE WHAT TOOK ME CENTURIES!"

>At this last outburst, all of the local wildlife in a 5 miles radius immediately evacuate in a fervor that matches the threat of the unnatural disaster that is the ancient Lich.
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"Yes yes yes. We've talked about this how many times now? Becoming... This? was never on my bucket list. And it isn't my fault that the world I come from belief in Magic is a social taboo."

>"I am quite aware of this, I am simply exasperated at the irony of the situation."

"So Teach, what's on the agenda today?"

>"You are going to assist a Miss Twilight Sparkle for this week and be enlightened in the history of Equestria."
> Then with a pause he turns back to you, his green orbs of flame seemingly brighter

>"We need to also address the fact that our names are identical. I sugge-"

"Ooh! You can call me Chroni-"

>"No."

"Buh."

>"No. Just No. That was a name I held aeons ago. I also reserve the right to be called Anonymous since that is what the natives of this world know me as. Seeing as I have yet to introduce you to the denizens of this plane."

"Ugh. Fine. How about Puuchu?"

>"That is a ridiculous name and you should be ashamed for it."
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>"You are going to need a surname as well."

"That's easy enough. I will be a Mister Lawl Puuchu."

>"You should, as your people are oft to say, An Hero. Please enlighten me as to how you chose this forsaken name."

"I used it for everything back home that required a persona, so why not here?"

>"Very well. Let us proceed to our local library then, I failed to mention however that your part time job with Twilight is also to show you the many different forms of magic in the multiverse. I assume you've been practicing the teleportation spell?"

"Well yes, however I have yet to fully master it. I always seem to leave bit's and pieces behind."

>"What advice can I offer, other than practice makes perfect?

> With a wave of his skeletal hand he leaves the room.
> And makes it so teleportation is the ONLY way out of this forsaken castle.

>FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU