Day Mo'-Money Mo'-Honey in Equestria(oneshot)

>Day mo' money mo' honey in equestria
>Awake
>Imagine a world of ponies and unicorns, and pegs
>Snap out of it
>Arise like a vampire, i.e. hands across chest, straight spine all the way up
>Shave, Shower, Shit
Wait, Fuck, lemme try that again
>Shave, Shit, Shower
Close enough
>Head downstairs and fix yourself a breakfast of fruit
>Look outside
>Sun is rising
Lovely
>Hear a knock at the door
>Who could that be?
>Peer through view hole thing
Hello?
>Silence
Hello? Anyone there? That you flutters?
>Scratching at door
>Nope.gif
>Grab nearest chair, jam under door handle.  That'll buy you some time
Not today
>Hear door being slammed
>Spaghetti
>Attempt to hide
>Door comes apart like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert
>"Bitch, I know you in here"  comes a demur voice
>Piss pants
>Table cloth pulled away, and you are revealed
Well, fuck me
>"Oh I plan to, but first, where's that money?"  She says, spittle flying onto your face
Umm, well, err
…
>The stare
I don't have it
>SMACK
Yeah
>Bloody nose, loose tooth, probably a bruise starting to form
Can I pay you back in another way?
>Smirk forms on that yellow face
>"Are you insinuating what I think you are"
Unfortunately yes
>"I-Is being my hoe your fetish Anon?"
No
>Fucking Fluttershy