Meet The Parents - The Wildes

>"I know things didn't go as well with my family, Nick, but I'm sure I'll get along just fine with yours."
>"Well, just keeep in mind they're a bit... Eccentric."
>Eccentric was a generous word to use, but Nick felt it was too early to break out the big guns, like 'narcissistically detached from reality'.
>"Cheese and crackers! Your family lives THERE!" Judy was shocked at the sight of the upscale, high rise condominium they ended up at. "I thought you said your mom didn't have much and your scout uniform was second-hand?"
>"Yeah, well that was when my dad was first put in jail. We didn't have much for a while, not until the government unfroze my mom's assets."
>"Let me guess, he was a conman?"
>"Yep. He even taught me that whole popsicle hustle I got you with. 'Son', he told me, 'there's always money in the Pawpsicle stand'."
>What Nick neglected to mention was that his father meant this literally, and when the original stand got impounded over an expired permit, he cost the family $100,000.
>"Heh. Well, if anything, he kind of brought us together, huh?" Judy offered with reluctant optimism.
>Upon entering the condo of Nick's mother, Judy was surprised to find they had put up a banner to welcome here that read 'Pleasure To Meet You Judy!'
>However, it was fairly obvious that this was scribbled over an older message that said 'Please Don't Jump Baxter!', which Nick recognized from the time his mother put his little brother on suicide watch after he had watched 'Bambi'.
>An older fox woman draped in jewelry and clutching a half empty martini glass quickly approached Judy and gave her a oddly warm, yet zero-contact hug. The smell of Vermouth and olives was overpowering.
>"Oh! You must be that Judy my son is always talking about, it's so nice to meet you."
>"T-thanks. I'm glad to meet you too Mrs. Wilde."
>"Although, Nick told me a lot about how modest you are, but I didn't think he meant you dressed so 'casually' for special get togethers." She punctuated this with a sip of her drink.
>"Gee, thanks Mom, really making an effort," Nick snarked back at her. "Hey, where's Lynn? I thought my sister would be here too."
>"Oh her," Mrs. Wilde rolled her eyes. "She took that buffoon of an otter she calls her husband to one of her little fundraisers."
>Nick's sister was known to prioritize socializing at charities over everything else, so when her husband heard that the Yearly International Forrest Friends gala was this weekend, they opted to go to that instead.
>However, he misunderstood the gala's title as an acronym, when it was meant to be taken literally.
>"Well, I'm sure she's with us in spirit."
>She wasn't. In fact, she completely forgot Judy was visiting at all.
>Leaving his mother to refreshen her drink, Nick moved on to introduce Judy to his brothers.
>"Jude, this is my older brother, Sow."
>"Sow?"
>"Sow."
>His actual name was Simon Oliver Wilde, but the writer was running out of animal puns.
>"So Sow, how're tricks?"
>"C'mon Nick! They're not tricks they're il- Oh, you're asking me how I'm doing?"
>"Yup."
>"Great!"
>Things were far from great. Despite being in a long term relationship with a famous donkey soap opera starlette, Sow was also having an affair with his father's former mistress; an emotionally and mentally unstable ocelot.
>"Having a heck of a year. Hey, Nick's girlfriend, up top!" He raised a paw high in the air, expecting a high-three. Judy exchanged awkward looks between Nick and his brother.
>"Yeah, you're going to have to try a little lower, Sow."
>"You mean like your standards? Haha, am I right?" Sow glanced around the room for approval of his joke, but found that literally no one cared and immediately slumped back to the couch and pretended to go through important messages on his phone, of which there was none.
>"Sorry, Jude, they really mean well-"
>"It's okay," Judy said reassuringly. "By the way, is it me, or does he sound like Rat Man?"
>That's because he did play Rat Man. Only it wasn't in the multi billion dollar grossing, live action blockbuster film, but instead the children's animated movie made to advertise toys manufactured in the country of Boarway.
>"Funny thing about that--" Nick stopped the moment he felt a pair of paws on his shoulders.
>"Hey fox brother."
>"Baxter, hi," Nick gently twisted out of his brother's paws and gestured towards Judy. "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend. This is Judy."
>"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Baxter."
>Baxter seems to display a degree of childlike giddiness behind his giant glasses.
>"Ooo! You're so cute!" Baxter nervously giggled. "I could just eat you up." Trying to get along, Judy forced a laugh. "I could just boil you with gravy and onions--"
>"Baxter." Nick interjected firmly.
>"Sorry," Baxter apologized; looking a little deflated. "I took an Animal Studies class once, I should know better."
>Baxter actually flunked out of Animal Studies.
>"You know, I heard that rabbit's feet are lucky, is that true?"
>"Well, that's more of an outdated thing from when some carnivores would keep our feet as trinkets."
>"Huh. I guess I'm glad I'm a fox. I don't know how it would be lucky for me to lose a paw..."
>Nick was quick to usher Judy away before things went further downhill.
>"Okay, and last stop is my adopted brother."
>Judy was surprised to see a panda standing there.
>"Nihao."