Lyra thread shorts

Most of the shorter stories and prompts I've done for the Lyra thread.
these aren't meant to have any hard continuity, and others might even be straight recycled bits from older prompts. Some are cute horsey notes in the form of a pretty mare green.


Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2019 08:04:38 No.34099442
"Come on. Lyra. Take that thing off, it's time for dinner."
>"Please put down your carrots. You have 15 seconds to comply."
"...Lyra that's not even the right-"
>"You now have 10 seconds to comply."
>"L-Lyra?"
>"You are in direct violation of Poneal Code 1.13, Section 9. You now have 5 seconds to comply."
>"5, 4-"
>"H-hey. Come on. Here you go horsie, have some carrots."
>"2, 1. I am now authorized to use physical force."
>tfw tripped up by magic and assaulted with tickly horse raspberries on your tummy.

----

Anonymous 10/07/19(Mon)21:12:00 No.34396082
>Be Lyra
>You're trotting around Anon's house, ears on a swivel, trying to look for any signs of life.
>The windows are uncharacteristically dirty, and seem to be covered up from the inside.
>Dust and leaves have collected on his front porch.
>Even his grass is well overgrown.
>It's only been a week!
>You've tried knocking the door and calling for Anon, but he won't answer.
>Nopony's seen him in days either.
>Scrunching your nuzzle, you stand on your hind hooves try nipping at his "door knob."
>Why can't he have a latch like normal ponies?
>Giving up you resort to magic, and sure enough it opens.
"A-anon?"
>You trot inside, his rug muffling the sound of your hooves
>You scan the room, your eyes, slowly adjusting to the darkness.
>There he is sitting on his couch.
>Almost hesitantly you trot around and make your way in front of him.
>Dead eyes look right past you, right to the ground.
"Anon are you okay?," you ask, quieter.
>Stepping forward a clatter on the floor grabs your attention.
>There lies a bottle of sleeping pills, cast to the ground, individual pills sprinkling the living floor.
>That's not good.

>You trot over to the window, and nip at the tape keeping the thin board up.
>Even with a tug of magic helping, it doesn't let up.
>What kind of tape is this?
>Turing around you jump, your rump hitting the window side table, nearly knocking over a vase of old dead flowers.
>Looks like you have his attention now.
>But you don't like that look.
>It's hungry.
>Predatory.
>Celestia knows you want to help your friend, but every part of your mind is screaming at you to run.
"Anon, I'm going to get some- HELP"
>You squeak as the human stands to his full height and charges you before you can even step back.
>Firm strong hands dig into cutie mark, lifting you up as if you were light as a pegasus.
>You weakly buck, even nipping at his shirt, trying to get away.
>But he doesn't let up.
>Turning around, he plops down on his sofa, fingers dancing through your fur, and face buried in your tuft.
>It lasts for all of a few seconds before the human pauses.
"Anon?"
>He responds with a light snoring, the human falling limp against you.
>You nudge him backwards.
>Was... was this because you asked him to snuggle you last week?
>What kind of monster did you create?

----

Anonymous 10/17/19(Thu)10:03:33 No.34461399
>Lyra isn't a unicorn supremacist but she is highly ignorant.
>The reason she moved to Ponyville in the first place is because she thinks Earthponies are "Simple" and "Move at a slower pace."
>Ponies for the most part put up with it because they know she's born and raised in Canterlot.
>She couldn't know any better.
>Bon has thicker skin than most, which is why she's the only pony in town Lyra can call a friend.
>At least, when Lyra’s old Canterlot gang don't come down to throw cider cans at the locals.
>When Anon comes into the picture, they get along like steak and eggs.
>To the wayward human, all the ponies are just cute talking beasts of burden.
>It's hard for him to think otherwise since they still make horsey sounds here and there. Not to mention, they eat flowers and graze like animals.
>And in turn, for a human, racism is as normal as the sun in the sky so everything she says to him is water off a duck.
>He even laughs when she calls him a shaved diamond dog, a dehorned Minotaur, furless, or monkey colt.
>They could write a book for all the new tribal slurs they’ve come up with together, though for some reason half of them end with a '-niggers' suffix, whatever that means.
>Bon has to talk ponies out of lynching them everytime they hang out.
>Sun and stars help them if Lyra’s Canterlot buddies come to meet Anon.

----

Anonymous 11/10/19(Sun)21:45:52 No.34590594
>You're taking a nice trot through the park.
>With a long sigh, your feathers ruffle up as you stop to smell the roses.
>Sunny skies, the birds are frolicking, the deer are singing and all that jazz.
>It's rare you seem to catch a break around here.
>Between Rarity knocking on your door just to hear hot takes from other ponies, and some disaster plaguing the country side, it's been-
>...
>What was that?
>You whinny and your wings reflectively shoot out as whatever hit you, nails you in the face this time.
>B-bread crumbs?
"Hey, it's all over my coat!"
>You're ears turn towards foal-like laughter.
>"Do it again!"
>You turn towards the noise just in time to avoid another claw-full of crumbs.
>Ohh no.
>Lyra and her Tartarus birthed daemon.
>She herself was half laying in the humans lap, legs dangling off the bench.
>The human himself was chucking, a claw of his rustling her mane.
>Weren't these two usually asleep until noon?
>You were pretty sure.
>Most of Ponyville became morning ponies because of these two.

>The town even sent a petition to Celestia herself to raise the sun an hour earlier.
>half a loaf of bread socks you in the face, pulling you from your thoughts.
>"You can thank me later bird horsie." The human grins, seeming incredibly pleased with himself.
>Ohh, filly. You're in for it.
>You're going to buck him back to wherever he came from.
>Before you can tackle them and give them a well-deserved pummeling, Bon-Bon comes a runnin'
>Ohh here we go.
>"Strawberry, Don't. I'm so sorry it's my fault. I left them alone for ten minutes."
"Don't try to defend these sun scorn ponies again, Bon-Bon."
>"I'll talk to them-"
>Your feathers ruffle again.
"Go chew a thunder cloud. There's being ignorant and there's throwing bread at pegasi at six in the morning."
>She recoils slightly at the curse but doesn't budge.
>She turns to smile at the duo before learning in with a hushed whisper, "Trust me, I don't think they're bright enough to know they're being offensive. I should have known that getting them up early to feed birds was a bad idea."
>That's... Road apples, if you argue with that you're admitting they might actually be thinking creatures.
>Bahh, you could get them later. Bon-Bon can't protect them forever.
>Storm riding Canterlot ponies.
>Feather pluckin’ Human.
"Fine, you two better watch yourselves. Also, I'm taking this " You say, picking up the half loaf of bread at your hooves, before flying off.
>You snort as the two seem to guffaw even louder.

----

Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)19:42:53 No.34703660

>"'Non, the paint on the park bench was wet again! You're going to have to wash my rump with those weird graspers of yours again."
"They painted the bench 8 times in the same week?"
>"Well yeah, some pony keeps sitting on it!"
"Somepony, huhh?"
>"Uhh-huhh. Ponies can be really careless, 'Non."
>Lips pursed, you squat right in front of her and look her in the eyes.
>Sure enough the mare's ears flick this way and that, and her tail lashes like she's got flies on her ass.
>Gone were the days where she'd get scared to shit when you reached your hand out to her.
>Ever since that fateful day where you grabbed her by the hips to pull her out of a carrot barrel she'd gotten stuck in.
>Normally, ponies whinny and back up, or do that pseudo buck and trot a few meters away from you.
>And as if nothing happened, they trot back to you and continue talking.
>Ponies sure are silly.
>Lyra's snoot scrunches as you lean forward, eyes scrutinizing every whisker on her muzzle.
>She could ask you to do it like a normal person.
>As normal as asking you to scratch and pet her rump is, at least.
>Even in horse land, they seem to be content with scratching themselves against rough objects.
>If they're a fancy unicorn, they have backscritchers, patented by you.
>Earthponies will even roll in the dirt or grass and waggle around for a second.
>Still horse law-morality-whatever dictates you let her commit more property damage until she gets caught and is in bigger trouble.
>For the sake of learning some kind of virtue on honesty.
>Something like that.

>You've learned not to fight horse friendship shenanigans it at this point and do as the Romans do.
"Fine, lemmie run a bath, you smelly horse."
>Lyra beams up at you, practically jumping into your arms.
>"Thank's 'Non! I can always count on you!"
>She goes ahead an nuzzles you and licks you liberally behind your ear and upper neck, doing well to work a grimace out of you.
This horse knows you don't like that.
>The little shit.
>You plop her in the tub and run the water, letting it hit your wrist for the right-
>Ohh damn it, your arm is covered in paint.
>Did she drag her ass over the whole bench this time?
>Luckily, you've been able to streamline the process.
>You trek over to the kitchen and start mixing equal parts water and vinegar, before grabbing your spare comb while you're at it.
>Walking back in, you spot her lapping up some of the bath water.
>...
>Yep.
>Still very silly.
>Sitting at the edge of the tub, Lyra starts to look very pleased with herself as if she'd gotten away with murder.
>You pour a tiny bit of the mixture onto her flank while working it into her fur with your other hand.

>Her body posture becomes a complete flip from earlier.
>Completely relaxed with her ears lazily drifting back, a sparse nicker slipping in between light squeaks, where you really dig your fingers into her dense winter coat.
>She lets out a disappointed sigh when you stop, but you need to let it soak.
>You take the time rub some into your own arm, and clean it in the sink while hers sets in.
"You owe me some more apple cider vinegar, you know. This stuff doesn't grow on trees- Err, so to speak."
>With any luck, that alone would discourage her from... whatever mental rodeo is bouncing around in her head.
>"Sorry, I'll bring some next ti- I mean- tomorrow. I'll come by with some tomorrow."
"...Thanks, Lye."

----

Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)11:36:54 No.34772068
>"Hello. You around, Lyra?"
"Come in!"
>You cousin nuzzles the front door open, and trots inside looking around your home.
>"Wow, No kidding. These Earth pony homes are so... ram- ohh uhh- rustic."
"You get used to it."
>"You really have gone terran on me, Lyra." she chuckles. "So how was Petunia? Not too much of a hassle I hope."
"About that..."
>Her brow furrows, worry seeping into her features.
>"Did something happen?"
>You're not sure if explaining will either confuse or horrify her.
"I think it's easier if I show you."
>The mare's ears are on a swivel as she smells somepony unfamiliar, whom may not even be a pony as far as she knows.
>Deeper inside the house you push the door open, letting Minty though.
>"Hi, momma."
>Her nose scrunches in confusion when she sees an unfamiliar form, curled up, for- arms nestled around Petunia.
>Minty whinnies, pressing against your flank like a scared filly.
>"Lyra, w-what is that thing?"
"Ohh, that's 'Non. He lives next door."
>Petunia herself still seems kind of bored, the coloring books you set for her long since pushed away.
"I've tried everything! Crowbar, cooked his favorite stew, I even promised not too lick his tiny human snoot for a whole week if he'd let her go."
>This human is stubborn as a mule when somepony tries to get in-between him and his cuddle naps.
>Minty tries to get close, but with something between a grunt an a growl, the human nestles Petunia impossibly close.

>The mare pins her ears and takes her place pressed against you again.
>"Lyra, don't just stand there, help me get my Filly!"
>...You tried.
>Once he claimed her as his "tiniest mint buddy," there was nothing you could do.
>You've honestly given up hope at this point.
>Other ponies are still very skittish around him and never let him close to their foals.
>When you said you needed help foal sitting, he let out a marely squee and carried her around the whole week.
>Kind of like monkeys do with their young.
>He brushed her mane, spoiled her with sweets, bought her a bunch of toys meant for Earth colts and fillies.
>After a few moments Your cousin, trotting back and fourth in a panic, Pentunia, kicks and shimmies closer to his face.
>She nuzzles 'Non on the bottom of his chin, causing the human to finally stir awake.
>"Mister, Anon. It's time for me to go now."
>The human shoots upright cradling her.
>Human expressions are new to you, but it's not hard to tell that he looks hurt that she'd even suggest such a thing.
>"I'll come back to visit, I promise!"
>The human pauses, his jaw slightly clenching as he mulls it over.
>"You'd better, tiniest Mint."
>With another nuzzle, she hops out of his lap and straight through the door.
>"Gimmie a sec, momma I got a lot of stuff to pack up."
>...You just hope cousin Minty agrees to that for everyponies safety.

----

Anonymous 12/31/19(Tue)09:37:34 No.34801906
>It's almost as if the Wendigos themselves have their hooves planted here.
>The frigid cold that nips through your thick winter coat a reminder of what ponykind had to go through.
>You wish you didn't have to be outside AND miss some quality time with friends and family during it.
>Still, you couldn't let your best friend miss everything alone.
>Mostly alone, anyways.
>You pick up your pace trying to match Lyra's excited prance.
>"'Non's gunna love our presents, Bonnie."
>You snort.
"I'd hope so."
>This human of hers had better be thankful.
>You're supposed to be on a train to Canterlot to catch the yearly Hearthswarming play, spend some time with Lyra's family, and to meet up with yours coming in from Trottingham.
>"You'll never guess what I got him."
>You probably could.
>"I bet he's gunna tear up when he sees them, the big softy."
>Are you visiting the same Anon?
>"Look, Bonnie, there it is!"
>Lyra is gone and knocking on the large human door before you can look up to check.
>... He'd better not make you two wait.
>Thankfully, you hear the human shuffle his- feet? on the other side and he opens it up.

>With a yawn, the ragged, tired looking human down at the both of you.
>Maybe humans hibernate, with any luck he'll turn you away and you can catch the next train.
>"'Non, are you alright?"
>"Ehh, just some Holiday blues and decided to sleep in, I'll get over it."
"What?" Both you and Lyra yell at the same time.
>Okay, maybe he is more dangerous than you thought.
>Resilient for sure.
>You look to Lyra with worry, ears flick to every direction, keeping an ear out for Wendigoes or any other winter solstice monsters that might be lurking around.
>"So what's up, Lye, Bon. Thought you'd be chilling with family or some shit."
>He thinks chilling is normal?
>Yep, he's too far gone.
>"We were gunna, 'Non. But then I remembered that you don't have family around, so I ran off the train to come see you."
"And I followed her," you continue, trying to not sound too disappointed.
>His brow furrows, posture straightening a hair.
>You reflectively take a step back at his sudden change in demeanor.
>"Fuck, Lye. Bon. I don't know what to say, come in."
>"Ha! Hold you he was a big softie, Bon."
"Could have fooled me."

>Lyra hops inside and you trudge inside close after.
>"Wasn't expecting visitors so I don't have anything you pones like to eat prepared, except for some applesauce."
>"Still got some tea, 'Non?"
>"Ohh yeah, good idea, here, while don't you take care of that and I'll grab some gifts, still need to wrap them up. Kettle's under the sink."
>Lyra makes herself home in his kitchen kitchen, and you opt for sitting on Anon's over-sized recliner.
>It's kind of comfortable.
>Smaller than a pony bed but you can see yourself curing up in this thing and sleeping comfortably.
>You nearly do so before a floating mug startles you awake.
>"'Non, only has two cups but I'll go ahead and share with him, bonners."
"Okay."
>You nestle the cup in your forelegs lapping up some of the tea.
"Alright, I think I got it, I don't actually know how to wrap gifts, so..."
>Anon comes back, dropping two gifts of his own onto the table.
>Seems like he gave up on some point, crumpling and twisting the paper around the gifts.
>"You gotta open our presents first!"
>Lyra, floats over all the gifts and places them on his lap as soon as he sits down, moving your mugs to the table as well.
>You still wanted that...
>"All these for me? You guys are the best."

>He starts off with one of Lyra's.
>Uncharacteristically, he carefully unties the ribbon and undoes the paper in much the same fashion.
>She gave him a half eaten carrot?
>Sun and stars...
>Unexpectedly, the human laughs and hooks his foreleg over Lyra pulling her close.
>"Love it, Lye," he says, before taking a big great bite out of it, and giving the rest to her.
>She happily eats from his claw, licking up the each individual grasper.
>He then focuses on your gift which makes your stomach tighten.
>When he gets to another set of boxes inside, and he carefully opens those as well.
>"Chocolates? Ohh man, this is fucking baller, Bon. Get over here you."
>With a grunt he reaches over and grabs your forelegs before you can even react and he pulls you in, giving you a big squeeze and nuzzling the side of your head.
>A nicker slips out and it causes your blush to spreads to your ears.
>You hear Lyra giggle at that.
>She is never going to let you live this down.
>"Alright, Last one."
>He cocks his head in confusion, lifting a single piece of paper up.
>It's, a crayon drawing a Lyra's cutie mark?
>"It's me!"

>Lyra goes and hops into his lap, knocking the other boxes away and licking under his chin.
>The human emits a low growl, his nose scrunching up.
>Still, he forces a grin, chuckling at the silly mare.
>"Hehh. I always wanted a pony for Christmas, here."
>He reaches over to the table and passes the smaller gift to Lyra and the much larger and longer one for... you?
>You expected both of those to be for Lyra, given how close they are.
>The both of you nuzzle at his claws giving them another lick as you nip at your gift pulling it towards yourself.
>Looks like Lyra's is a new lyre tuner, and yours, a big wooden spoon large enough for you to use for one of your big pots in the shop.
>They've got both your cutiemarks carved into them respectively, as well as some ornate designs that you can only describe as alien.
>"I took up wood carving recently, still not great at it, and it helps that the wood was pretty much already-"
>He doesn't get to finish his sentence as you and Lyra tackle him, letting out another nicker as you nuzzle into him.
>"'Non this is amazing! I just misplaced mine the other day!"
"Yeah, Anon. This was very sweet of you," you say, trying not to choke up.
>Lyra's right. He is a big softie.

----

 Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)04:25:08 No.34837821▶
"'N-Non, I'm tryin' to light the sparkler b-but it won't go!"
>The human looks to the sparkler, then to the match, and back to you.
>"Didn't know unicorn magic could tremble. The fire's not even touching the fucking thing."
>You squeak out a small whinny, pressing into the human's pant leg for support.
"It's scary."
>The human growls something about tiny horses and snatches the thing from your magic.
>"Here, let me do it."
>You duck behind him as he-
>He's doing it with his bare hands!
"W-wait-"
>What if his fingers get burned?
>You need those for belly rubs.
>In one swift motion he lights another match under his boot with his off hand and holds it to the sparkler.
>This human is crazy.
>Not only didn't he hesitate, but he didn't even flinch away from the sparks.
>It- It's kind of nice.
>With a grunt, ‘Non sits down, folding his legs.
>Out of habit you clamber in the impromptu nest and nuzzle the underside of his now free hand with a nicker.
>The sparks don't last long, but even then 'Non doesn't seem like he's in too much of a hurry to get up as he scritches your ears.
>...Maybe it isn't so scary after all.

----

Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)01:27:00 No.34991572
>You fidget with your tie and tug on your cuffs.
>Doing a thrice over to make sure you're as pristine as Anonly possible.
>Alright, everything looks g-
>"'Non?"
>Your footing nearly escapes you.
>Has she been at her door long?
"Hey Lye, I got you some-"
>The mare interrupts with a nicker.
>"Ohh filly! I was gettin' hungry."
>She leans in, tickling your hand with a stray lick before tugging one of the roses out of your boque.
>...Right.
>"Ohh yeah, 'Non-," she says still chewing on a rose, "There's some gay Hearts and Hooves fair or something. Want to go?"
>"...Sure. As long as those damn Earthponies don't fornicate in the street."
>Lye snorts into laughter at that remark.
>"Okay, I'mma just put these in the ice box real quick."

>You lay tiredly on your sofa, a stray leg leaning off the side.
>Those pain reliever spells always make you really drowsy.
>Most ingested magic pills do weird things to you, overall.
>Lye takes it in much more stride, her lower body sprawled across your chest as her upper body curls around your head.
>With some light whickers she ruffles your hair around, and nips at clumps of it.
>Grooming, they call it.
>That, along with a warm pony pressed against the side of your face is oddly calming.
>It beats getting mare drool on your face from her constant licking, so you don't make too much of a fuss.
>Still, you lick yourself more upright, and sit Lye down on your belly, nuzzling her back right between the ears.
>"Now, what did you two learn?"
>...
>Bon is also here, warping a bandage around your arm, the last of many injuries patched up.
"Don't yell dirt niggers really loud when you're surrounded by Earthponies."
>"...And?"
"Can't outrun them?"
>Bon sighs and shifts her gaze to Lye, whom tries to look busy grooming your hair some more.
>"Lyra."
>The mare winces, looking back at her friend. "Don't throw water balloons at inter-tribal couples even though they're wrong."
>"A whole town fair goes up in flames and-" She stops herself, grimacing at the two of you. "...Good enough. Celestia, this can't keep going on with you two."
>...You've gone on worse dates.

----

Anonymous 03/09/20(Mon)14:53:52 No.35073274
"Anonymous, please get down from there."
>"Fuck off, Bon-Bon. Winter coats. Are. JUSTICE," He proudly roars
>You sigh, dropping the megaphone.
>This happens every year.
>Anon, despite being an alien, seems to have a sixth sense for when it's time to get Lyra's coat groomed at the spa.
>He'll kidnap her from her home, go to the town hall, tuck her under his arm, scale the building itself and make a big embarrassing scene out of it.
>Lyra never helps either, laughing at his weird antics.
>Some of the weather ponies are trying to help you this time, trying to convince him to get down from the town hall
>One of them, Clear Skies, tries to get in too close, and is treated to a snap of the humans jaws and an uncharacteristically low growl that you can even hear from where you're sitting.
>Clear whinnies and flies back down landing next to you, clearly shaken.
>...This is getting kind of dangerous.
>Not because you think he'd actually hurt anypony on purpose.
>You know for a fact humans aren't very arboreal.
>Or maybe it's just Anon.
>It's only a matter of time before he falls off.
>"Ohh! Hey, 'Non. What if we got Rarity to knit you a warm hat out of my winter coat!"
>The human's jaws snap shut and his brow furrows.
>"You can do that?"
>"Sure! Why not. You can even brush me if you want."
>With a grunt, and not another word, the human tries to clumsily climb down.
>...
>"Uhh. Bon-Bon can you get Twilight to help?"
>It was fluffy killed the beast.

----

Anonymous 03/26/20(Thu)05:03:42 No.35130739
>Not once have you ever seen the human so serene.
>He hasn't even touched the partially nibbled carrot you dropped at his feet, instead looking to the horizon with that soft gaze.
>Honestly, it's kind of making you worried.
>How's he going to run from predators if he doesn't eat all his carrots?
>He is one himself, but...
"Hey, 'Non you gunna be alright?"
>The human humms to himself, using a straw claw to pull the hat more snug onto his head, so that the hem rests just above his brows.
>You took the clumps of shedded fur down to Rarity, who made quick work turning it into usable wool, and then a simple beanie to cover his head.
>You snort and nip at his pant leg, tugging it a few times.
>"Huhh? Ohh yeah, yeah, I'm good."
"Anyways, I'm gunna go into spring heat again soon. So..."
>The human frowns, processing what you just said.
>"I always forget you mares go from being little cuddly fluffballs to short furred sexual deviants in under a week."
"I-I do not! I just- we get a little irritable... and Bon'll probably have to lock me in my room for a few days..."
>"Gross."
"It's not like that!"
>The man leans down and presses one of his wigglers into your snoot, making you go cross eye'd. "Yeah-huhh. you're a gross little sexual deviant."
>He tries for it a second time, but you're quicker on the buck and catch his finger in your front teeth.
>Not hard enough to bite, but just to hold it there.
>As you grin up at him, he quickly loses his jesting grin, and it becomes more strained.
>His eyes widen as if he's looking at you in a different light and his movements start to get a bit more animated.
>”S-so If you need any help i’llbeinmyhouse, bye.”
>He jerks his finger out of your mouth, and darts away, completely ignoring the carrot.
>Yeah, he’ll be alright.
>...Humans are weird.

>You go through 'Non's "dog door" to give him his carrot back.
>He's acting off.
>Even doing strange human gestures you've never seen him do, like play with his claws, and avoid looking in your direction.
>Is this because you held one of his digits in your mouth?
>Are you human married now?
>No, that doesn't make any sense.
>He touches you with his claws all the time and vise versa.
>The silly human's even rubbed your snoot in public without making it weird.
>You prop your hooves onto the sofa and deposit the carrot in his lap and lick the back of his claw with a soft nicker.
>This time he doesn't make a move to wipe it away.
"'Non, you're being a weirdo."
>You hop up on the sofa beside him, sneaking a little lick from his carrot.
>The human fidgets uncomfortably at that, sitting ramrod straight when he hears a cronch, despite you doing similar things in the past.
>He's never minded you eating part of his carrots before.
>"S-sorry Lye. You shoure you should be around, with your thing and all?"
"I told you it's not like that, 'Non,” you explain with a frustrated swish of your tail. ”I can be around another stallion for a minute without jumping his bones,"
>"R-right." He continues fiddling with his claws.

----

Anonymous 04/24/20(Fri)02:01:46 No.35239561
>"You're pullin' my dick."
>It's the nicest it's been outside for months, so you're nipping out flowers and weeds that have begun to spring up at the park.
>You invited Anon to come graze the freshly grown shrubbery with you, but apparently humans don't do that.
>So he's just sitting on a stump while watching you and the surroundings.
>That's okay.
>It's nice to have a buddy look out for predators... even if he is one.
"Nuhh-uhh. 'Non. I'm serious."
>"Are you sure you mean THAT Canterlot?" He emphasizes by pointing at the giant ivory city jutting out of the mountain. "There's no way- Hold on, you got a little..."
>He makes an odd motion with his hands.
>Ohh, you know this one!
>He wants you to come closer.
>You lower your head and and approach the human.
>He reaches both hands over you and picks at the front of your mane, before tossing something off to the side.
>"Was one of those sticker grass things. Could've poked and eye out."
>His fingers then brush your your made, straightening the front out again.
>Nickering, you nuzzle and lick the side of his hand in thanks.
"What's so hard to believe anyways? Ask Twilight, we've classmates since magic kindergarten."
>The human snorts, as he makes a motion to wipe his hand on his shirt.
>"I just can't imagine that the little oat thief that gets caught in the dog door went to the most prestigious school in the country."
"It was one time!"
>...And it's not your fault he made it so awkward to trot through.

>It's another grazing kind of day.
>You're not sure why Lye keeps inviting you to these things.
>It’s nothing to complain about, though. being able to sit outside in literal sunshine and rainbows is nice after the cold winter months.
>You poke and prod your little mint buddy while she grazes, relishing in the softness of her fur.
>Most ponies are wary, and don't seem to like getting patted or grabbed, but to Lyra it's water off a duck.
>Thank God, because petting small animals is the most therapeutic thing a man can do.
>...She does seem extra soft today though.
"Lye, you're gettin' kind of plump."
>It's not super noticeable.
>Definitely looks thinner than when she still had her winter coat.
>She her head snaps back at you with a soft whinny. "I-it's just my winter coat 's all."
>You chuckle, picking her up to hug her close.
>"Come on, Lye. Your winter coat fell out a week ago."
>She snorts, trying to wiggle out of your grasp.
>"M-maybe I can cut back on the oat shakes, or get those fat free ones." She succeeds in slipping out of your hold, sliding off your lap to the ground. "They’re soooo good though, 'Non."
"Nahh, I'm just teasing, you little oat thief."
>"It was one time!"

-

"Hey guys, Sorry I'm late!"
>"Sup, Bon."
>"Hey Bonnie!"
>You'd been watching their interaction, of course.
>Readying yourself to step in and buck the human if you needed to.
>He doesn't seem very hostile, but he is a big predator that just called your best friend plump and proceeded to grab her.
>It seems alright though, you've seen other predators engage in that kind of playful behavior with each other too when you were serving the crown.
>If he was actually hostile, he could do a lot of damage.
>Still, just to be sure, you trot over to the human warily and sniff at his pant leg.
>He seems to take that as an invitation to reach over and pat your on the head too
>...Huhh. That's not too bad.
"It was twice, by the way. She took my oats too"
>Lyra whinnies. "That was supposed to be a secret Bonnie!"
"Sorry Lyra. Just trying to protect our pantries."
>"Doing the lord's work, Bon." The human snorts, continuing to pat your head.
>You push up against his hand in response.
>...What lord?

-

>Be Anon.
>These horses have made a little social outing out of the whole grazing thing.
>Bon seems way more relaxed around you since yesterday.
>This time Lyra lets you hold her, while you feed her some carrots you brought along.
>One of Lyra's little pals from Canterlot is over too, laughing up a storm as you and Bon rat her out.
>"That sounds like the Lyra I know, alright. She used to get her head stuck in oat jars all the time when she was a foal."
>Lyra, buries her snout into the crook of your arm out of embarrassment.
"You've been friends with Lye for that long?"
>The mare's face drops, a blush showing through her baby flue fur.
>"Lyra, you didn't tell me your coltfriend was this flattering."
>"Contfirend?"
"Coltfriend?"
>Bon chuckles, turning toward you, "That's Lyra's mother, Anon."
"You fucking what?"
>"Yeah, 'Non, can't you see the resemblance?"
>You run your hand through your hair, taking in the older mare's features.
>...
>Yeah, they all look like they're the same age from where you're sitting and the colors always throw you off.
"Sure, I guess. Kind of- hey!"
>Looking down in your short pocket, you find all of your extra carrots missing.
"Come on, Lye. I was gonna feed other little horses too!"
>"All's fair with oats and carrots, 'Non"

-

>There's so many Little horn heads gathered around here, Bon is starting to look like a token mud horse.
>Apparently the newcomers are more of Lyra's friends from Canterlot.
>They seem like a good bunch of ponies.
>You're not just saying that because they brought you some fancy tea.
>The little oat thief knocks and rubs against your leg, using it as an impromptu scratching post.
>You sigh, and reach over, scratching at her withers.
>"...Little to the righ- ohhh, sun and stars, that's good."
>Lyra's ears drift back and her bottom lip gets all droopy, nickering as she leans more into you.
>And without a word, and a flick of her tail she wanders of to graze some more.
>Watching you from the corners of their eyes, Lyra's mom and the blue one, Minuette you think she was called, come to get the same treatment.
>One mare on either side, the mares stiffen in surprise at the alien feeling of nails digging into their fur.
>Sure enough, they relax little by little, Minutette, near falling asleep on her hooves as you work your magic.
>Yeah, you're a glorified back scratcher now.
>Could be worse.
>The pink haired one, Twinkleshine, looks up at you with concern. "Anon, are you sure you don't want to try grazing? I can be a look out."
"I-"
>The Blue one jumps up in excitement "Lyra said human's don't graze, isn't that cool!"
"Yeah."
>Lemon looks to you in wonderment "Must be nice, not having to graze."

>The cream colored one looks up, pushing her glasses up higher on her snoot.
>"I wouldn't be so sure. It's scientifically proven that grazing relieves stress, lowers the heart rate, and decreases chances of stomach problems among other things... No offense, Anon."
"None taken."
>"In fact, some of us ideally should be eating a whole bunch of high caloric grain too often, like oats."
"That oat thief got you too, huhh?"
>"Multiple times, I even set up wards around my kitchen. I didn't think she'd know how to disable them. It's easy to forget we were in the same classes growing up."
"So she was serious about going to a nerd school."
>Before the little dork can chew you out, Minuette snorts with laughter.
>"He's a stampede! I like this guy."
>Bon makes a frustrated snort, looking around with her ears on a swivel.
>"Where's Lyra, anyways?"
>All the ponies lift their heads up to look at you.
"Well, don't look at me."
>Bon's snoot scrunches. "Anon, you're supposed to be the look-out."
>You frown at each other for a moment, faces slowly falling.
"MY OATS!"
>"My OATS!"

----

Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)01:45:00 No.35749872
>You look back at ‘Non’s magic sun dial from your big bowl of oats.
>...
>Okay, technically these are ‘Non’s oats, but he probably won't notice a bit missing.
>Besides, if he didn't want anypony teleporting in and taking his oats, he wouldn't be such a sleepy human.
>It's almost 7 am for sun’s sake!
>You could be sitting on a park bench with your big pal throwing bread at Pegasai by now.
>Or messing with the weird spypony gadgets Bonnie made you guys promise not to touch.
>Why can't ‘Non sleep 3 hours a day like a normal pony?
>Snorting, you slide down from the over sized chair and make your way to Anon’s room.
>It is about time for him to get up.
>...Sort of.
>Peering in, you see him tightly curled up, hugging his arms.
>Huhh, looks like he kicked his blanket off in his sleep.
>You hop onto the bed, nuzzling your way into his arms.
>He doesn't resist at all, even squeezing you close with a small grunt and shiver.
>Instinctively, your ears move around, listening for anything that might try to snatch him up.

>With that you pull the covers back over him, which causes the sleepy stallion to relax, nuzzling the side of your neck.
>He says humans like sleeping alone, but the smile forming on his face betrays that.
>Maybe you should make this a regular thing, maybe even invite some other ponies over.
>Nopony should sleep alone.
>“Huhh? Lye? How'd you get in, you little weirdo?”
>Despite his weak protest, he reaffirms his hug and buries his small human snoot into your fur again causing you to nicker.
“Never mind that, come on we got a lot of stuff to do!”
>He looks up with dreary eyes. “...Like what?”
“My friends from Canterlot are coming over for a camping trip and a certain human is going to help me scare the horns off of them.”
>He blinks for a moment as he processes what you just said.
>”I think I'd like that.” He grins.
“I knew you would.”
>You struggle out of his grasp, swatting his arm away with a tail and use magic to throw some pants at him.
“Now come on, we gotta get you a spooky costume and stuff.”
>”Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses.”
>...What?

----

Anonymous 10/03/20(Sat)13:03:45 No.35943833
>You are Lyra heartstrings.
>A mare on a mission, running an experiment for the benefit of ponykind.
>Your alien friend is lying belly down, pretending to sleep.
>Normally he was very sleepy, sometimes out for 8-9 whole hours.
>But this time you knew he’s faking it.
>You knew because his fingers twitched when he heard you eat a bowl of oats right next to him.
>His oats.
>And if it's anything you've learned so far, even if his facial expressions can be hard to read, the hands are always a sure give away on how he's feeling and stuff.
>They make 'Non a completely open book.
>Not that you’d tell him that.
>Anyways, you’re standing on his upper back, where the withers would be if he were a pony.
>Alternating pressure between your hooves, the human was completely placid.
>It makes his back pop here and there.
>Which scared you at first.
>He then makes odd sounds, something between a growl and moan.
>A groan, you think you'll call it.
>Which also scared you at first...

>You thought it might mean pain or anger, but apparently it's the human version of a nicker.
>You're still at it, nuzzling into his back with a stray lick here and there, in an attempt to groom him.
>Like usual, during grooming he fidgets.
>He can act like such a little colt, making a big fuss when licked or getting their mane monched on.
>This time, however, because you found that one spot that makes him human nicker- groan, he doesn't fight back.
>reaching down, you nibble his back, which brings back the nice sounds.
>His muscles tense and relax as he feels teeth scratch at his bare skin.
>You lean over to see his face off to the side.
>He sighs, keeping his eyes closed as he melts into his too-hard mattress, a dopey smile on his face.
>The human even reaches up, grabbing and squeezing at his sheets.
>Yeah.
>He's enjoying that.
>You’re definitely going to remember that one next time he tries to incapacitate you with belly rubs.
>Let's see...
>He likes his back scritched a whole lot, and not so much his tummy.
>He doesn't mind you walking on top of him, and even seems to love it.
>He doesn't like grooming, but likes grooming others, namely yourself with brushes and stuff.

>Maybe he's opposite to a pony in other ways too.
>You reach up and nibble the rim of one of his ears.
>His breath hitches, the muscles on his neck, arms, and back shuddering, a stray hand feeling out for your muzzle.
>"-Hell's that?"
>You nuzzle and lick at his knuckles with a nicker.
"Never mind, me 'Non. Just running an important experiment."
>With a grunt and a small thankful rub on your muzzle, the human relaxes once more, nary a protest.
>He definitely liked that too.
>That explains him trying to grab pony's ears sometimes.
>You had to explain that ponies don't really like that.
>Not that you mind.
>You know humans get all grabby when they're being friendly, and that makes it pleasurable enough for you.
>Too bad not many of the other ponies believe you.
>Okay, what else can you test out?
>...
>Right! Ponies don't like their eyes messed with.
>You roll off his back and hop to your hooves, moving around to face Anon.

>"What in the lord's-"
>Before you even finish what you're doing, a hand shoots out to grab one of your hind legs on the opposite side of him, then pulling really fast causing you to flop down like a sack of flour with a startled whinny.
>He then pushes himself up and reaches over you, making it hard to stand back up.
>Uhh-Ohh.
>Now you've made him mad, and he's grabbed and pinned you before you could run away.
>Should have eaten more carrots.
>"That's enough experiments out of you, you little weirdo."
>He slips an arm under your barrel and rolls onto his side with you, pulling you close.
>...
>And with that, it seems he's all sleepy again.
>Maybe it was a bit silly to think Anon liked everything opposite to a pony.
>Humans definitely do not like getting their eyeballs licked.
>Satisfied for now, you kick your hooves to turn around, burying your muzzle into the nape of his neck.
>Maybe you can be sleepy with him for once.

Anonymous 11/16/20(Mon)00:43:38 No.36160408
>You scan the park at a brisk trot, ears tilting here and there and saying the odd hello to ponies that pass by.
>Ohh, there he is.
>Your human is laying on his back with his arms behind his head, basking in the sunlight.
>Maybe if you're real quiet, you can-
>"Hey, Lye."
"Aww, how'd you know I was here?"
>He looks at you, a small grin on his face.
>"Hooves."
>Right... you kind of wish you could sneak up on ponies as well as Anon.
>Maybe you can ask Boners.
>Heh, Boners.
>The human closes his eyes, nestling all comfy in the autumn leaves.
>"Plus you got this special way of walkin'. A bit more bouncy than the average little horse."
>Huhh, you've never heard a pony identify somepony else through their gait.
>Must be a human thing.
>Probably because they don't smell as good as a pony.
>You canter up to him, kicking up some dirt before rolling around on your back
>As usual, you end up failing to keep your balance and end up using Anon as support.

>How does he do this so effortlessly?
>You're pulled from your thoughts as Anon takes that as a cue to bury his fingers into your belly, a nicker slipping out.
>"Your winter coat's grown in."
"Yep. You don't get one?"
>"Nahh, I think my hair'll get darker some. That's about it."
>At least that's similar to ponies.
>Your coat always gets a bit darker and more vibrant than it is during the summer.
>Being a purebred Canterlot unicorn, your winter coat grows a good bunch longer than the local flat land dirt ponies too, which Anon seems to be enjoying.
>It's a real shame you'll have to share it with him some more with a whole bunch of cuddles this winter.
>It's a tough job but somepony's gotta do it.
>No wonder he's bundled up in that jacket-
"Wait a minute..."
>You roll back onto your hooves to smell around his torso with another short nicker, before burying your muzzle in Anon's jacket.
>Occasionally he'll leave some carrots and peppermints on hoof for you to pilfer.
>Luckily, this is one of those times.
>The human chuckles, grabbing at one of your ears and tossing it around.
>Ohh yeah?
>You snort, and nibble his ears back, causing his face to flush.

>Though he quickly relaxes as you nuzzle and groom him, even lightly dozing off.
>If not for the treats snapping you out of it, he'd have you in such a position with his belly scritches right about now.
>You knew these experiments were useful.
>Some more ponies pass by, looking in awe that he’s been practically sedated with a simple bit of grooming in the right spot.
>For some reason the town thinks Anon is as much of a grump as Bon is.
>Which isn't true.
>Anon isn't very expressive in the face, his body language otherwise is flipped upside down.
>But he's probably friendlier than most ponies!
>His language can seem pretty mean though...
>Their loss.
>Speaking of which, your experiments with human incapacitation have been progressing smoothly.
>You've been muzzle-deep in research as of late, playing around with simple spell matrixes.
>It reminds you of long study nights at Celestia's school.
>When Anon ran his fingers through your mane a couple weeks ago, something clicked.
>Humans probably do this together all the time.
>Probably to eat ticks and things, you're not sure.
>They eat some pretty gross things.
>While you've gotten used to, and even prefer his method of grooming over a pony, to never feel the touch of another pony would make you feel sad.

>Casting your spell, you summon a spectral "hand".
>While it doesn't look like one- something you can refine later.
>It should put the right amount of pressure in different points and feel like one.
>A lot of trial and error was involved, but now it's close to where even you can't tell the difference.
>Like, you had to get a butt load of headpats from Anon to work this out.
>For research.
>...
>Okay, moment of truth.
>With the golden yellow blob, you stroke Anon's scalp in much the same way he does you.
>He jerks away from it, to your surprise, the silly human giving it a fearful look.
"Shh, it's just me. Go back to sleep."
>With a few blinks, he nestles in close, curling around you like a big cat.
>"N-never thought I'd-" He chokes.
>You... You've never seen Anon tear up.
>You didn't even know humans could do that.
>He snaps out of it with a reassuring nuzzle under his chin, accompanied by a soft whicker.
>With a shuddering breath, he tightens his grip on you, almost clinging on defensively.
>For you or for him, you're not sure.
>As you continue stroking his mane- hair, he starts to lean into it, his grip relaxing.
>If you had foals with Anon, would they want to seek comfort in the same way?

>Not that you think about having foals with your best oat stealing buddy or anything.
>You feel around in different areas too, "patting" him the same way he tries to do with ponies.
>...Which you also had to explain that ponies don't like very much.
>This puts that real nice smile back on his face, and he holds onto you lightly with his stray hands, a pulse of pressure going through his fingers.
>According to your notes, this must be the pony equivalent of wiggling your snoot when something feels -really- good.
>As you move it back up to rub his cheek, he thoughtlessly reaches for it, stopping near militrots away.
>Why is he hesitating?
>You close the distance, wrapping your magic around his hand.
>The human cautiously grips it, turning beat red.
>...This means you’re human married now, doesn’t it?

Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)11:07:38 No.35947532
>You sigh, laying your head down on the front counter.
>School isn't out for another few hours so the usual customers are nowhere to be seen yet.
>No special orders for any dates or gifts.
>The Cakes haven't commissioned any candy structures for any special pastries either.
>Maybe it wouldn't hurt to close your eyes for a second-
>”Heya, Bonnie.”
>Your head shoots up to Lyra, who's sporting an innocent grin.
>...
>Too innocent.
”Anon, if I catch one of your weird claws in one of my jars I'm going to bite them.”
>Your ears flick back to a quiet grunt and some fumbling behind you as the human backs off.
>"H-hey now, horsie. We were just messing around."
>Stupid predators and their quiet hoofsteps.
>Even with his human shoes and being a good head taller than a minotaur, you didn't even hear him sneaking up behind you.
>If you weren't used to dealing with them prowling around in your last job, with much deadlier intentions, he might have gotten away with it.
>Guess that 6th sense you picked up for these things never really goes unlearned.
>"Aww, I was sure that would work." Lyra frowns.

>Road apples, where did you put your broom?
"Maybe you can abuse Anon's physiology for other things than stealing candy from my shop."
>"I do! Hey, Anon do that weird thing you do with my tail."
>You wheel around, tucking your tail in and pressing your rump against the counter.
>He just looks at you with his stupid smile as you force your ears and head upright.
>If it's anything else you learned from your last job is that ear pinning and bowing your head comes off as submissive when it comes to predators.
>That's the last thing you want to convey to this irritating human.
>You definitely don't care for whatever it is Anon can do with or around a pony's tail.
>You're pretty sure you don't want to know either.
>"Come on, Bonnie. It'll feel weird but it won't hurt, I promise."
>"Yeah, Bon. I got magic hands."
>You pause, ears flicking between the troublemakers.
>They wouldn't do anything too untoward or mean spirited but being around them, especially Anon, makes the fur on your withers stand up on end.
"If I agree to this... whatever it is. Do you promise you'll leave my shop?"
>They both nod.
>You sigh, and slowly turn around, keeping the big human in your peripherals as he kneels down behind you.
"If I feel anything under my tail, I'll buck."

>The human's face flushes at that.
>"Th-there's nothing under there that I want to touch, you grumpy horse."
>You snort and roll your eyes at that.
>You've seen him looking at Lyra's butt a lot when he thinks no one's looking.
>Honestly they should just rut already.
>Maybe then they'll stop causing so much trouble, and your oats will remain safe.
>You still don't know how she even-
>Your hind leg reflectively stomps when you feel the human grab your tail, under the end of your last tailbone.
>"Easy, there. Bon."
>He places another hand on top of your rump making the rest of your body tense, your tail begging to be clamped back down.
>"It's easier if you relax, Bonnie."
"I doubt it."
>You don't know how she can relax with this big human hugging and grabbing her all the time.
>Unlike her you and most other ponies actually have preservation instincts.
>Still, if it's to get these two out of your shop...
>You sigh and do your best to relax, letting the human have free reign of your tail
>Anon moves for a bit, then pushes you with one claw on your rump, while gently pulling on the tale with the other.
>You're not sure about-
>Pop, pop, pop.

>You reflectively nicker, nearly falling over as pressure you didn't even know you had in your tail and lower back releases.
>That- huhh.
>What in sun’s rays was that?
>And why does it feel so nice?
>Anon grabs your hips and steadies your hoofing for you, before chuckling and giving you a light pat on your cutie mark.
>Lyra grins too, making some weird gesture to Anon.
>”Alright, we should get going. Bye Bonnie!”
>”Yeah, we got a lot of important human and horse things to do. Later, Bon.”
>You shake your head, slowly coming to.
>Ohh, they’re gone.
>Finally, now you can get some-
>You’re pretty sure the jar of caramels was full to the brim the last you checked.
>When you get your hooves on them...

----

Anonymous 10/05/20(Mon)01:30:19 No.35950305
>Every Hearth's Warming play Lyra always hops at the chance to volunteer.
>Unfortunately, every year, she's cast as a background unicorn.
>It's alright.
>Despite not being any of the main historical figures in the play, she takes it in stride.
>More than that, somehow she always steals the show.
>Ponies as a whole are very expressive, making themselves very bad liars and even worse actors.
>To a pony, an acting career is a vocation and even the best of the best aren't convincing to the average human.
>The thing with Lyra is that she's actually racist.
>Not only is her “acting” seamless this year.
>She has you for inspiration.
>"OUT OF THE WAY, BIRD NIGGER! BIG HORN SWINGING THROUGH"
>Lyra looks at you in the crowd with a sweet little smile and you give her a standing ovation.
>One of these days, you should join the play yourself.
>Maybe audition to be one of the trees or something.
>"WHEN WILL MUD NIGGERS LEARN?"
>The other actors on stage look like they're about to cry.
>And you're not far off, trying to stave off the laughter.
>You sit back down catching Bon's glare.
>"You had something to do with this."
>You grin, leaning back into your too-small horse chair.
"I may have written some extra lines in her script."
>"You're lucky we're in Canterlot. Lyra might actually get to leave this theater alive."
"Come on, with material like this, she'll get a lead role next year."
>Bon pokes at your chest with a hoof, raising her voice. "This is a historical play!"
>A collective "SHHHH" causes the both of you to quickly sink down in your seats, grumbling things you’ll probably write down for next year.

----