M. P.'s Bizarre Adventure, Act 1

????’s Bizarre Adventure

Act 1: Prelude to a Debut, or [spoiler]Sly & The Family Stone[/spoiler]

>Be "A.K. Yearling".
>You're in deep cover, as usual.
>On a sabbatical, as far as your publishers know.
>And that's only partly a lie.
>There's enough peace and quiet out here to kill a mare.
>You've been using your new manuscript to ward ponies off.
>Ethically, you can't publish it.
>Your last adventure shouldn't be public knowledge.
>Besides, the reviewers probably wouldn't praise the eyepatch.
>Or how you got it...
>But in the musty middle of nowhere, you've got quarters set aside.
>Nice ponies here, even if they're a little simple.
>Still, you're not one to leave ponies under the threat of danger.
>You haven't told them about the arrows, of course.
>Making them public knowledge makes them a lot more worrisome.
>Until you find a means to destroy them permanently...
>Well, burn that bridge when you come to it.
>For now, it's stir-crazy life and casual espionage down on the farm.
>Sorry, "rock farm".
>But you think you've got your big break!
>Igneous, the father and steward of this whole shebang, is heading inside from the fields.
>You lean out the window of your guest shed as he heads in.
>With the same effort as a wink, ｢Paperback Writer｣ transfers.
>The world enters your consciousness through his left eye.
>Not the most riveting sight, but you'll cope.
>He walks in and kisses his wife on the cheek while she preps dinner.
>Then he makes a circuit around the house, looking in bedrooms.
>Feisty and Monotone are outside working on other fields.
>Which just leaves...
>...
>A-ha!

>Be Marble Pie.
>Limestone's room is a mess, as usual!
>She may be older than you, but she's not very efficient.
>You sigh at the discarded quilt and rumpled pillows.
>Then, discreetly, you send out a little of your Stand.
>She's always telling you, "Don't touch my bed!"
>Well, now you're not, so there!
>Some of ｢Opposite of Thieves｣ scuttles onto the blanket.
>Three or four of the little silverfish, each stamped with your cutie mark, clamp onto each pillow.
>With a rush of air like a giant window opening, everything lifts off the ground.
>Your Stand rides the bedstuff up into the air.
>Gently, everything returns to its rightful place.
>You realize you're humming to yourself.
>"Marble Victoria Pie."
>It's Pa!
>You freeze, withers tightening.
>"Did you forget the importance of hiding your gifts when we have company?"
"Pa, I'm sure our guest hasn't-"
>"Coal strains! You're not sure of anything! Are your sisters disobeying their Pa too?"
>You hang your head and turn around.

>For a crucial moment, be Daring Do.
>Having been in tight scrapes so often, you can feel them coming.
>In the next two seconds, these thoughts run through your mind:
>Quiet, whose name is really "Marble", used magic without a horn.
>It involves a bunch of tiny white things you need to get a closer look at.
>Which means they already know, and they're hiding it from you.
>And they can see Stands.
>Which means they'll see that ｢Paperback Writer｣ is on Igneous' left eye!
>They'll know you're onto them, and that'll make things difficult.
>But if you retract, you might lose vital information!
>You designate a new target in sight.
>｢Paperback Writer｣ transfers instantaneously to Marble, hiding behind a curtain of her hair.
>And apparently this mare lives without depth perception.

>Back to being Marble, chewed out by your Pa.
"No, Pa, Maud and Limestone have kept it a secret."
>"I should hope! If anypony outside of the family learned-"
>It could ruin the farm.
>"It could ruin the farm!"
>I know, Pa.
"I know, Pa. I'm sorry."
>He looks ready to chew you out, but then he remembers something and turns away.
>”I must check the Fibula.”
>You almost snort in irritation.
>You’re not the most “modern” of your sisters, but even you think it’s obtuse to call it that.
>But he’s already turned out the door.
>”We’ll talk on this more when Ms. Yearling leaves this homestead. Until that time, you’re not to use that agency on this land!”
>You bow your head.
>He leaves.

>Be Daring Do.
>He’s going to check on the power-source!
>You transfer back to him to get a first-person view of where’s it’s hidden.
>But nothing happens.
>Oh, right, you can’t see him through this wall of grey.

>”What the hell?!”
>Be Marble, wincing and turning back to the doorway.
>”I told you to leave my room alone!”
>Limestone gets in your face, and you take a step back.
>”MY bed has to stay set up MY way! Do you-”
>She stops and looks at you for a moment.
>Then, a little roughly, she pushes your mane out of the way.
>You look at her while she inspects you.
>Limestone does most of the first aid on the farm.
>She has the same intensity in her eyes, the careful calculation.
“Is there something in my eye?”
>She drops your mane back in place.
>”No, I just… thought I saw something. Get out of my room.”

>Be Daring Do, breathing hard and staring out a window at the Pie home.
>You’ve recalled your Stand, for now.
>Your body continues making noise, worrying at itself.
>Internally, you’re calm.
>Igneous hasn’t left the house.
>That means wherever it is, it’s not buried anywhere.
>You’re thankful for that, you hate digging.
>Honestly, this is probably the least glamorous mission you’ve set for yourself.
>Most of the treasure you find has been neatly set up by long-dead ponies.
>You’ve never really had to burglarize from someone living before.
>Well, someone living who wasn’t a complete bastard.
>You tighten the eyepatch reassuringly.
>An hour later, you attend a terse and quiet dinner.
>You answer polite questions about publishing.
>Feisty spends most of the dinner staring at your patch, but Marble listens intently.
>A mare of letters, maybe?
>Evening descends.
>Given that they’re farmers, you bid them goodnight with the sunset.
>Then, returning to your cabin, you plot your infiltration.

>In the annals of the Family Pie, collected from many journals now crumbled away, this history is written:
>The Pies stretch back many generations, much further than any among them can know for certain.
>They came from the Old Country, before the formation of Equestria, with only pilgrim badges for treasure and ballastellas for navigation.
>And they were the first to till the land time wouldn’t touch.
>In the wasteland which was once part of the Badlands, they brought up beauty.
>A dozen fads of jewelry and mining came and went in the interim, but they stuck to tradition.
>They lived with and off of the land, coaxing out and harvesting enough to live on.
>It was a stoic existence, and a humble one.
>If any had asked how they managed it, they would demure.
>However, the secret lay in their family charm.
>Dating back possibly to the first excavation, but still as beautiful as new.
>Made of a material which modern analysis would say came from a meteorite.
>Carefully chipped, cut, polished, cleaned and protected.
>A brooch, the symbol of steady willpower and unity.
>The secret root of the Pie rock-farm, and the source of the family’s extreme success.
>And three feet away from its thief.

>Be Daring Do, in the heart of the Pie household, standing next to the bed of Igneous and Cloudy Quartz.
>Most of the other doors have been closed up until now, but the heads of the family keep theirs open.
>You close it behind you when you’re sure the coast is clear.
>You want to make sure they’re dreaming, so you transfer ｢Paperback Writer｣ to each of them and yo-yo it back.
>Your Stand can’t actually see dreams, unfortunately, but you can tell by the rolling motion of their eyes that both of them are dormant.
>Even asleep in each other’s embrace, neither of them look exactly peaceful.
>They seem naturally... calloused, in some way.
>You don’t know if they’re heavy sleepers or not, so you expend a couple of emergency sleeping darts on them.
>It takes a couple minutes of searching to find the “Fibula”.
>Again, most of the puzzles you’ve solved in your lifetime have been much more explicit than this.
>But find it you do.
>It’s just in the bottom drawer of their nightstand, in a featureless rectangular box.
>Once you get close enough, you can feel the power radiating off of it.
>It’s arrow-shaped, but not an arrow.
>Just a large, bulky ornament of some kind.
>It looks like it’s just for fastening clothes together, instead of combat or unlocking things.
>But you’re wearing your saddlebags, and it clunks into them.
>You take a few steps away from the bed back the way you came, and you feel it thrum softly.
>It glows from inside, the power like heat touching your skin.
>You hoof it back to the door, open and close it behind you.
>Somepony’s immediately in front of you.
>It’s Monotone.
>”Why were you in my parents’ room.”
“Oh, I was just announcing that I was leaving. I didn’t want to wake anypony I didn’t have to.”
>You smile.
>She tilts her head a fraction to the right and then points a hoof at your pack.
>”What’s in your bag.”
>If you weren’t all mild-mannered right now you’d be able to pass it off as a hundred different things!
“It’s a, uh, magical beacon. My publisher needs me for a meeting in Manehattan immediately.”
>That’s it, smile apologetically, maybe she’s buying it…
>”You’re lying.”
>Geez, that’s spooky.
“...Alright. I’m a concerned adventurer, and I need to take your family artifact to a safe location where it can be studied and understood.”
>Her face tightens a little.
>”Okay, go.”
>That surprises you, but you don’t make a big deal out of it.
>Except she doesn’t move out of the way.
“Alr-”
>A hoof appears from the shadow, slamming into your face.
>Danger mode activated.
>You roll with it, flipping sideways in the air and crouching against a wall.
>Before gravity remembers you, you kick off and drive both forelegs into your attacker.
>But they touch only air.
>Monotone’s instantly on your right, still in sight.
>Super-speed?
>No, you didn’t feel a rush of air.
>She just teleported, instantly.
>You brace yourself and transfer ｢Paperback Writer｣ to her.
>Another hit and you’re thrown into the door.
>Surprisingly, it holds, and you slump to the floor.
>She looks down on you, still expressionless.
>Like she’s waiting for you to say “Uncle”.
>You spin and kick for her legs.
>She reappears just outside of the range, and her Stand tries to stomp your foot.
>It looks like a pony made entirely from jagged featureless dark-gray stone.
>And the teleport didn’t look any different from her end.
>You pull back and unfurl your wings.
>They’re a little sore, but you can’t do any stretching right now.
>You close your eyes and flap upwards, navigating with her vision.
>Your feathers graze the ceiling, but you dodge around another kick.
>You keep waiting for her to teleport, and she doesn’t.
>Wait…
>Could it be as simple as that?
>Monotone leaps in the air to grab your tail in her teeth.
>You somersault away easily.
>But your pack comes loose.
>And the Fibula falls out onto the floor.
>She rushes over and grabs it.
>You swear, turn around and land, eyes still closed.
>You’re in the kitchen, now.
>It’s not a big house.
>You do a quick inventory as your wings snap back.
>You’ve only got two darts left, and a whip in your saddlebag.
>She stares at you, waiting for your next move.
>Calmly, you take a deep breath.
>Then you reach up and adjust your eyepatch, switching eyes.
>Your left eye’s usually replaced with your inactive Stand, or otherwise hidden.
>When you open it, the world swims around you.
>No sooner have you done that than she teleports in front of you, lashing out.
>But she appears slightly to the left, and the hit goes wild.
>You close your eye and respond with one of your own, hitting her upside the head.
>She grunts.
>You open your eye again, a little clearer now, and jump back away from her Stand.
>She rushes for you, and you sidestep her, only for her to appear again.
>You land another hit, connecting even though her Stand blocks the damage.
>Man, the blood’s really rushing in your ears!
>You back up and hit a cabinet.
>From her point-of-view, you realize you’re in a corner.
>She approaches you cautiously.
>You snap open your left wing and drape it over your face like you’re in a melodrama.
>Through your feathers, you speak.
“This is my final attack! I know the secret of your Stand, and I’m going to defeat you without leaving this spot!”
>And then, using your Stand to measure the angles, you throw a dart straight for her.
>And shift your feathers.
>When Monotone teleports this time, you’ve got your second dart ready in your hoof.
>She teleports directly into it.
>Her eyes widen a little.
>Yes, you figured it out.
>Stands usually act automatically, or alter their user’s reflexes to escape sudden danger.
>Hers let her move anywhere within your line of sight, which meant it could dodge anything you aimed.
>And if you started aiming with your eyes closed, she’d have gotten suspicious.
>Right now your eye’s full of feathers, with only a sliver to see her in at the top and one at the bottom for her to teleport into.
>She couldn’t have dodged if she wanted to.
>While the sedative activates, you see her trying to summon her Stand.
>Better not take chances.
>You recall your Stand.
>Then, eyes firmly shut, you roundhouse her into unconsciousness.
>She goes down like a sack of potatoes.
>Phew.
>That was good exercise.
>You trot over and grab the Fibula, returning it to your pack.
>It seems a little dimmer, now.
>With a smooth drop, it’s back in your saddlebags, and you’re ready to hit the road again.
>It’s then that you realize somepony else is watching you.
>You turn to the hallway, and see...
>Marble.

>Be Marble Pie.
>Ms. Yearling’s standing a few feet from your oldest sister’s fallen body.
>Her eyepatch is on the wrong eye.
>The one you see doesn’t look right.
>There’s a word written above the pupil, like a little rainbow.
>”DARE”.
>She’s got something glowing in her pack.
>Your head spins at the thought of your Pa actually being right.
>She stares at you with her not-eye for a half-minute.
>You’re frozen.
>It’s absurd, but his words come back to you.
>”We’ll talk on this more when Ms. Yearling leaves this homestead. Until that time, you’re not to use that agency on this land!”
>It would be wrong to call on your power here.
>Conflict passes over her face.
>Evaluation.
>Then, under her red dress, two wings unfurl.
>And she darts out through the front door.
>”RAAAUGH!”
>There’s a crash.


>Be Daring Do, in a mess of limbs.
>Somepony jumped onto you from the roof.
>Judging by the shout, and process of elimination, it’s Feisty.
>She breathes hot, close to your ear.
>”Did you really think nopony was paying attention when you went sneaking into my parents’ room?”
>Yup.
>She bends you, applying more pressure.
>”Thought the rubes would make an easy target?”
>She’s a pretty good wrestler.
>But your wings are already out.
>You flap them, kicking up dust, starting to lift yourself.
>She spits, and suddenly something’s penetrating your feathers.
>You can’t see it, but it smarts.
>You strain your head, and she forces it against the ground.
>But you can see her limbs.
>You transfer ｢Paperback Writer｣.
>From her eyes, you see her spit again.
>Small shards of black rock explode from her mouth instead of saliva.
>You retract your wing, and she stomps on it to hold it still.
>Something snaps.
>You cry out, and she watches with half-lidded eyes.
>Alright.
>Enough playing around.
>You shove against the ground with all four legs.
>She stays on your back, but retracting your wings makes her wobble.
>Then you turn on one hoof and throw yourself against the house.
>She lets go, and you roll over.
>On the ground, you kick out at her face.
>Her face slices into your hoof, and you have to pull it back.
>In the starlight you see more tiny chunks of black rock falling from her face.
>She leers down at you.
>You snake a hoof into your pack and recall your Stand.
>Below her, your eye becomes a glass thing with a word on it.
>She looks at it more closely on reflex.
>And you snap the whip out of your pack, smacking her in the neck.
>She hisses and grabs at it, but it’s staying anyway.
>It’s enchanted to stick to what the end touches.
>No self-respecting grappler would leave home without one.
>And you use it to fling your enemy back into the house.
>You can’t seem to get enough information on how her Stand works, so you high-tail it.
>You probably knocked Feisty out, too, given that she’s not chasing you.
>You take off and stow the patch for the time being.
>Then you focus on the positive.
>The farm’s a good size, and your wings are going to need some attention, but you’re nearly out!
>You’ve got the civilization-threatening magical item in hoof.
>And all you had to do was temporarily knock out half of a family.
>It’s only when you near the outskirts of the fields that you see somepony else.
>Somepony running ahead of you, like you’re racing.
>Abruptly, she stops and turns around, facing you.


>Be Marble.
>Ms. Yearling slides to a stop close to you.
>For a moment she looks like your mother, impatient with some bit of childishness.
>You clear your throat.
“My Pa...”
>You’re mumbling.
>You raise your voice.
“My Pa told me I wasn’t supposed to use my ability on the farm while you were around to see it. But I couldn’t let you leave without trying to stop you. So now we’re not on the farm any more.”
>The words hang limp in the air.
>Before she can respond, you shout.
“｢Opposite of Thieves｣!”
>Your voice isn’t usually that loud, and it squeaks a little when you summon your Stand.
>But it comes.
>A dozen of the long white insects scuttle into existence around her pack, and the brooch lifts itself up and flies to you.
>You catch it, feeling its reassuring weight and the intensity of its glow.
>It’s not supposed to be this far away from the center of the farm.
>Looking in it, you see your reflection.
>It has her glass eye.
>You jump at that, and see both of hers are normal.
>And she’s charging you.
>You strain, and a mass of the creatures appears on both sides of her, lifting her into the air.
>Before they can set her back at square one, she lets out her wings and spins like a plane.
>Your bugs fall off and evaporate into the air.
>Then she swoops and dives for you, hoof outstretched for a punch.
>You close your eyes and hold the brooch between you and the fist.
>There’s no collision.
>The impact happens over your shoulder, a couple hooves behind you.
>When you turn around, she’s already getting up again.
>Where in Equestria does this mare work out?
>”It’s no use trying to hide anything from me, Marble Pie. I can see everything you do.”
>She dusts herself off in a single motion.
>”And your father was right not to trust you.”
>You blink.
>You blink again.
>And then you charge at her.
>You throw a right hook, which she blocks casually, already thinking of how to grab the brooch.
>But you’ve sparred with Limestone.
>You’ve played games with Maud.
>You’re the youngest sister on a rock farm, by the earth!
>So your hook breaks through her defenses effortlessly, and you hit her solidly in the cheek.
>She stumbles, and then replies with a kick of her own.
>You bear it and try another straight hit, but she blocks it for real this time.
>You’ve lost the element of surprise.
>She grabs the brooch and then pummels you with fast kicks until you let go of it.
>Then she turns her back to you, to inspect it.
>”That’s a very interesting Stand you have. In another life, maybe we could’ve used them together.”
>You spring to your hooves and rush her, hair falling back against the wind.
>She kicks out a back leg without turning, and you’re down again.
>There’s something fluid, trained and professional about all of her movements.
>”You can’t sneak up on me. I know where you’re moving at the same time you do. I know you saw the reflection.”
>That’s all the confirmation you needed.
“｢Opposite of Thieves｣.”
>She sighs and starts walking away.
>One bug, clutching something in its tiny mandibles, crawls out of your hair.
>And then latches onto your left eye.
>Suddenly the eye moves back to its original owner, and your real one comes back.
>And the bug moves with it.
>She raises a hoof to shove it away, but it reels back and slams its cargo into her forehead first.
>A dart you found in the kitchen, matching the one you found on Maud in your brief check of her vitals.
>A tranquilizer, by your limited knowledge of these things.
>She freezes.
>You sink back to the earth, feeling your exhaustion.
>It’s too late at night for fighting...
>And then she just brushes the bug off, and pulls out the dart.
>She turns to you, with her magical eye and her prize in hoof, smiling.
>”You know, kid, if I didn’t immunize myself to the things I carry, that would’ve done a real number on me.”
>You summon up more of the bugs around the brooch, covering it.
>It hovers towards you, and she lets it while she grabs the dart off the ground.
>”Looks like enough… Note to self: always carry five...”
>It’s closer…!
>You stand and lean and reach out a hoof for it.
>”If it makes you feel better, this is all a part of saving the world.”
>You make contact.
>And then the dart hits your foreleg.
>You look at your opponent’s face.
>Blood trickling down from her scalp.
>Yourself, reflected in her eyes.
>The farm stretching and distorting away behind her smile.
>”Tell your sisters thanks, for a good match.”
>You slump to the ground.
>”And, uh, I didn’t mean that thing about your dad. Sorry.”
>She turns…
>Trots off toward the distance...
>And your vision goes black.

>10 Days to the Collapse of the Pie Family Rock Farm

｢Marble Pie’s Bizarre Adventure｣

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2TtCrU_Cmo

Stand: ｢Paperback Writer｣
User: A.K. Yearling / Daring Do
Ability: Replaces the user's left eye except when in use, and resembles a typical glass eye apart from the word "DARE" above the pupil. When activated, replaces the left eye of any target within line of sight of the user or the eye itself, allowing them to see and hear through it at any distance. The user has an eidetic memory of anything seen by the Stand while active - e.g. in someone else's head. Non-Stand users only see a regular eye.

Stand: ｢Opposite of Thieves｣
User: Marble Pie
Ability: Consists of a swarm of silverfish-like creatures. When they cover an object, it gently "resets", floating back to its owner, placing itself in an earlier position, or erasing some recent usage. Does not reverse damage.

Stand: ｢OK Go｣
User: Maud Pie
Ability: While visible to a target, can teleport the user anywhere within that target’s field of vision.

Stand: ｢Down With the Sickness｣
User: Limestone Pie
Ability: Any harmful material or toxin taken into the user’s body has no effect; instead, it can be incorporated into their body, so that it makes up part of their breath, sweat, saliva, et cetera. If the material is not expelled from the body after a few hours, this effect wears off.