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- We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
- But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
- Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
- Yet the plural of moose should never be meese,
- You may find a lone mouse or a whole nest of mice,
- But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
- If the plural of man is always called men,
- Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
- The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
- But a bow if repeated is never called bine,
- And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
- If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
- And I give you a boot would a pair be called beet?
- If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
- Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
- If the singular’s this and the plural is these,
- Should the plural of kiss ever be nicknamed keese?
- Then one may be that and three would be those,
- Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
- And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
- We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
- But though we say mother, we never say methren,
- Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
- But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,
- So the English, I think, you all will agree,
- Is the queerest language you ever did see.
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