Segways

>You are Anon.
>And you're very rich.
>You wake up and toss of your baby seal covers.
>You ride your Segway to the bathroom, because "walking's for the poor".
>You Shit in your solid gold toilet, shower in the tears of poor orphans, and shave with a Gillette Platinum Series blade.
>Yeah, you're the real fucking deal.
>You Segway to the elevator and go downstairs for breakfast.
>You have no servants because then you'd have to pay them. And you're not giving others your money.
>You're in the middle of eating your usual caviar, when there's a knock at the door.
>You segway over and answer it.
"Why hellllooooo Fluttershy."
>You adjusting your top hat, monocle, and mustache.
>"Hello sweetie. Is money your fetish?"
>She's wearing a dress made of bits and gems.
>You snort at her.
"Hardly."
>You close the door.
"She must never know Segways are my fetish."
>You spend the rest of the day.
>Fucking a Segway