Batman Fanfic

	Commissioner Gordon turned on the bat signal. He knew something was wrong beyond what Gotham's Finest could handle-- even though they have plenty of crime fighting resources, and are well trained. But the dark knight has one advantage over the police: Batman can resist the carnal desires that come from seeing the man with the painted face. Hundreds of policemen had succumed to the sight of his juicy red lips, but Batman could always get the criminal behind bars.
	Bruce Wayne had just finished showing in his fancy, rich-person shower with the handles so that you don't accidentally kill yourself. Suddenly Alfred comes in the room with an urgent message. An urgent message that he forgot all about after seeing his master's naked body. It had been years since Alfred had been able to maintain an ercetion. He manages to force the words out of his mouth with his member half-flacid. "M-master Bruce," He couldn't properly  concentrate and stuttered over what he was trying to tell him. "The Commissioner has turned on the Bat Signal. It's urgent"
	"Thanks Alfred." Bruce Wayne says as he hurriedly puts on his clothes. He rushed to the  Bat Cave to change naked into his rubber bat suit and rushed to the bank in his batmobile. It was there he saw the man in the perfectly-fitted purple suit.
	Since batman spent all of his time trying to stop criminals, he never got good at flirting. But then again, he'd never really needed to. Women would throw themselves at his feet and he'd walk over them. But he was never interested. It was the Joker he'd always wanted. Bruce had been bribing the guards at Arkham to let him free every so often. Batman kept catching him with the ridiculous idea that the Joker would ask him out one of those times. He called himself the Joker, but Batman knew he was a perfect 10.
	In an effort to assert his masculinity (and to hide his nervousness) Batman says in a raspy voice "Hey, Joker" He makes sure that his tongue is visible so that The Joker will think about his tongue.  The Joker turns around after hearing his adopted name. He made futile effort to hide his blatant and and supple white-painted arousal. There was a reason he always tried so hard to escape Arkham Asylum: he was filled with a burning hot desire for the tall, dark and handsome knight that was eating him away from the inside out. It needed to come out; he needed to tell him how he felt. Tonight. He was tired of committing the same crimes over and over again just to get Batman's attention and pretending to be insane to avoid the death penalty. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words, instead, he squirted his flower into Batman's open mouth. In a panic, the Joker escapes.
	Batman was temporarily stunned. But he wanted the Joker to squirt more than just water at him. He watched the Joker run off. His carnal desires were painfully unsatiated.
	He needed to tell the police, but there was only one person he trusted.

(I can't find page 2, but it involves a scene where Commissioner Gordon is skating on top of a building while wearing assless khakis with a red Tootsie pop in his mouth and ABBA is playing.)