Talk Level: 0

You do your research 6 months ahead of the conf, once the CFP opens up you submit and wait for a reply,
you have no idea who's in the committee and hope they'll actually accept your research, although it might
be cutting edge it lacks the regular memes and contains a 60-page long paper with 5 co-authors from
your previous thesis.

You get accepted, meanwhile your presentation is already ready, you've worked on it and presented it
to your students or co-workers, you get a cheap flight and hotel although the conference offers you to
stay in their fancy Hyatt/Hiltonw/whatever and you're so excited that you miss the mingling parties
but you manage to make it to the speakers dinner due to lack of food in the past 48h and the
big jetlag which just caught you.

You go on stage in 2m late, the screen projector has only DVI or VGA and you have a shiny MacbookPro
with Thunderbolt and HDMI only so you waste another 3-5m until you plug but it doesn't recognize your
port, you ask the organizers to help you out and evenutally there's a screen but it's blank and you decide
to your use moving skills to move your PPTX (in a Windows VM), to the big screen
You start talking for 60m and can't percieve if someone raelly understand what you're talking about or not
and wonder if at some point you shuold've added some meme, your presentation is over and you hope
that your demo that you shot 4 months ago still works, so you fire up your VLC player and it doesn't
go full screen, a few minutes pass by and the crowd still looks at you, you hit play on a 60x20 resolution
and the text is too small to look but eventually a calc pops out and everyone cheers,

Questions ? None


Talk Level: 100

You find a conference you want to go to, find a random topic and try to submit, it's not the first time
you're going there so you know the people and the vibe, a  few months pass by and you forget a bout it
but suddenly one day you get an email that you're actually accepted, you open your abstract
and try to remember the topic you've submitted on, you start working on the presentation and POC
for it, and manage to get somehting work a week before the conference.
You mingle up and meet old friends from different confs and get a bit tipsy in different parties
you go on stage and start talking, memes, fun, LOLs, everyone kinda understands you topic as it's not too technical
and it's pretty short. You're pretty nervous and you speak fast and everyone try to keep up but at some stage
they all lose it until you hit up with the demo that you've try to mockup during your 9h flight
It doesn't work.
You try again, the whole crowd looks at the screen again and wonder what it sees, a lot of debug messages
appears on the background and
It doesn't work.
You end up getting the backup movie which you plotted a few hours ago and you pop calc, the crowd cheers up
Some people go on stage later to ask you a few personal questions regarding the topic, a vendor might try to
hit you up with an email for possible future responsible disclosure (aha)

You get drunk during the next night and forget the whole topic itself, until the next conference

Talk Level: 1000

You eat dinner with the committee a few months before the conf starts and they poke around you to submit something
you have no idea which topic but they really pressure about it and the high alcohol dose which is already inside
your fluids makes you pop some topic which you've been working on and it's qiute theoretical,
you thought it might be possible to make it work but you lack the environment, money and time ofcourse
the next day you submit a 10-sentence abstract and 0-word bio to the conf, a month later you get an email
that you're accepted.

Your talk is on the 2nd day and you get 3 days before the conf starts, you get some nice meals and a high
dose of alcohol which makes you lose your temper regarding a working demo, your presentation is really ready,
it actually has one slides so you go to the conference owner and tell him to postpone your talk for the last day during
the morning, around 9am, the hardest time for you.
During the 2nd night you sit in your room writing a 40-slide slideset and on the next morning you wake up at 8:40
rushing to the venue

The crowd is totally drunk from yesterday's party, apparently they went to the bridge since the alcohol ran out
in xxx's suite and got totally drunk so most of them are in red-eye policy. You start talking and as time moves
the venue picks more people, there's not a real demo but you might have given a hint regarding some interesting technique.

Eventually you finish up by taking a shot from the organizer, everyone cheers, you get totally drunk the next day
at the 60th floor in someone's suite, until next time.

Talk Level: 9000

You don't really submit anything and your t, you got 10 slides and most of your talk is actually showing your toolset
and how you work, you got totally wasted last night and got about 2-3h of sleep, it's kind of irritating that the organizers always pick you to be in morning to those kind of things  but eventually you fill up 35 minutes along with
a producticize thing on stage, the crowd kinda lost you the moment you wrote that oneliner anyway,
only your friends actually figured something because they've worked on this range of topic with you.

Talk Level: over 9000

5 slides, high dose of alcohol, no sleep, you miss the whole conference anyway and rise up at your
slot accidently, you go on stage and you use the organizer's laptop, most of the talk is really just oneliners
and eventually you drop "on the fly" a few hints for interesting stuff. nobody really figured out what just happened
but they saw a couple of calcs and blue screens going on over and over. you get quite a lot of reactions later during
the post-speaker party.