switch (userweapon.name) {
                    case 'twig':
                        return '<b>' + a + '</b> poked <b>' + b + '</b> furiously with a twig!';
                    case 'club':
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> battered <b>' + b + '</b> with the club';
                        case 'sword':
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> slashed at <b>' + b + '</b> with a sword!';
                        case 'sofa':
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> slammed the Sofa of Median onto <b>' + b + '</b>!';
                        case 'jabulin':
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> tossed their Jabulin at <b>' + b + '</b> Lets go to the judges...10/10!';
                        case 'axe':
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> Swung their Axe at <b>' + b + '</b> A clean hit and'; + 'b's head rolls into the crowd'
                        case 'lance'=
                            return '<b>' + a + '</b> thrust their lance at <b>' + b + '</b> leaving it firmly embedded in b's chest';
}