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- >A day to be forgotten in Equestria
- >The sound of constant beeping of the heart rate monitor awakes you
- >You look at Berry as she smiles in her sleep
- >She may be the most stressful thing thats ever happened to you, but damn is she adorable
- >You pet her head softly and she smiles more while nuzzling into your palm
- >The door opens and Nurse Redheart walks in
- >You immediately retract your hand
- >Public showings of physical attraction is frowned upon in this society
- >The only reason you know this is because Princess Celestia made you write it three hundred times on a chalkboard
- >Of course she can't read your language so she thought you just scribbled a whole bunch of times and threw you in jail for the night
- >Who knew that having a threesome in the kids section of the Canterlot royal library was illegal?
- >Fucking laws...
- >"Would you like to see the damage?"
- >Asks Redheart as she leans the clipboard she is holding to you
- Sure.
- >She puts it on your lap and what do you know, you can't read pony
- >So instead you just stare at the paper and nod with your hand on your chin
- >She takes the clipboard and looks at you funny
- >"You didn't even read it did you?"
- >You shrug and scratch your head
- I can't read Equestrian language.
- >She looks shocked
- >"Really?! Oh come on it isn't that hard! Here I'll show you."
- >After five minutes of learning Equestrian language, Berry wakes up
- >It's a good thing too, you weren't sure how much longer you could take being told that a little doodle of a penis was actually the letter F
- >Wait a minute that means...
- >~
- >Mayor Mare looks frustratedly at the wall of the town square building
- >"WHO KEEPS WRITING F?! F WHAT?!"
- >~
- >Redheart leaves when Berry stretches out
- >She turns and looks at you
- >"Hey love."
- Hey Berry. How did you sleep?
- >"Like a basket of carrots."
- >She grins widely at you
- >You lightly shake your head while smiling
- >The door opens and a doctor pony comes in
- >"Alright Miss Berry Punch, you are free to go. Just don't try to snorkel in the bathtub anymore."
- >This doctor is an asshole
- >He just walks out after saying that
- So Berry, ready to go?
- >"I want some food first."
- >Yeah...you're kind of hungry too
- That's a good idea.
- >Redheart comes back in and you walk to her
- Can we get some food before we leave?
- >"Sure!"
- >She trots out happily and you go back to Berry
- >Sit on the side of the bed
- >"Anon, why can't I fly?"
- Because you don't have wings Berry.
- >"Oh."
- >It is silent for a few minutes
- >"Hey Anon, why can't I use magic?"
- You don't have a horn.
- >"Oh okay."
- >Is is silent once again
- >"Hey Anon, how do I get a horn and wings?"
- Be the pupil of an alicorn.
- >"How is being the poople of an acorn going to get me anything? Anon, you're a little messed up in the head."
- >Screaming internally
- >The door opens and Redheart comes in with two bowls of some stew
- >She puts Berry's on the table next to her and gives you yours
- Thank you.
- >"Thmmk oo!"
- >You look to Berry who now has half of it in her mouth and spit as she talked
- >Redheart leaves and you enjoy your vegetable stew
- >This really is one of the only things you can eat a lot of in this world
- >Can't get full off salad, what are you a vegan?
- >You check your hair and eyes
- >Not white and glowing
- >Nope, not a vegan
- >There is a gurgle noise
- >You turn and see Berry choking on her food
- >God damn it
- >You put down your bowl and grab her to do the heimlich
- >But she hits you in the face
- >You let go and grab your head
- Damn it Berry...
- >"Why are you mad?! You're the one who wanted to feel me up!"
- What...you were choking!
- >"Cho King? I have no idea what you're talking about, weirdo."
- >Just think Anon...
- >A drop from the window would end it all
- >You stand and walk to the window
- >Nevermind, on first floor
- >Fucking buildings
- Ugh...Berry let's go.
- >You say as you walk to the door
- >"Up!"
- >You look to her and she holds her hooves up to you
- I'm not carrying you Berry. You have legs for a reason.
- >"UUUUP!"
- Berry...
- >She begins screaming at the top of her lungs
- >You quickly scoop her up to avoid alerting some security or something
- >She silently hums a song as you walk out holding her
- Berry, where should we go? We're definitely not going back to Fluttershy's house, she's a nutjob.
- >"Cupcakes!"
- >She throws a hoof out, cracking you in the head
- >Shit this much head trauma can not be good for you
- Berry wha-
- >"CUPCAKES!"
- >She angrily says while waving her leg in that direction
- >You turn to where she's pointing and see Pinkie Pie walking down the stree towards you
- Good idea Berry!
- >You walk up to her
- >"Hiya Berry Nimous!"
- >Fucking Pinkie.
- Pinkie, this is going to sound crazy but can we live with you?
- >Pinkie looks at Berry
- >Then to you
- >Back to Berry who is now twitching in her sleep
- >"I guess so. Not for too long right?"
- No of course not. Just until I can get a house again.
- >"What happened?"
- It's a long story...
- >...
- >A story you explained to her as you got yourself settled at her house
- >"So she...burnt down your house?"
- Basically.
- >You both look to her now playing with Gummy on the bed
- >"She doesn't look like she could do that."
- Well she wasn't doing it in spite of me or anything, she's retarded.
- >Pinkie gasps and hits you with a hoof
- >"That's not nice Anon! You can't talk about your marefriend like that!"
- She's not my marefriend!
- >"Then why do you always carry her everywhere?!"
- I am legally supposed to care for her. She may be cute but she's not my marefriend!
- >Pinkie huffs and throws up her arms
- >"Whatever you say Anon...I have to go to work. You should try to find a job so you can afford a house. They aren't going to just up and build you one because you're endangered here."
- Okay mom.
- >She throws a pillow at you and leaves the house
- >A grumble noise attracts your attention to Berry
- >"I have to go."
- Ugh...
- >You lead her to the bathroom and are about to close the door when you remember what happened last time
- >Instead you go back inside and shut the door behind you
- >"What are you doing?"
- I'm not leaving you alone in here. Last time you covered the walls with shit.
- >She blushes and turns away a little
- >"Oh...you noticed?"
- >Fucking...
- Yes Berry, I noticed.
- >"Get out please it makes me uncomfortable with some pony else in here!"
- >You shake your head and lean against the wall
- Go already.
- >With a huff she looks away from you and crosses her arms in defeat
- >Then she looks over at you
- >She narrows her eyes
- >Then unleashes her fury into the toilet bowl
- >*PLPLPTLHPTLTPBLTBPTLHTPHLTBLPLTPHLPTLBLTPLH*
- >Jesus christ the smell hit you like that one lady who's purse you tried to steal
- >...there was a brick in it
- >Yeah, don't steal from the elderly
- >After wiping and flushing, Berry walks past you and out with her tongue stuck out
- >You manage to get out of the bathroom and gasp for air
- Fuck Berry! That was disgusting!
- >"That's nothing! You should have heard what Gummy was telling me earlier."
- >She turns to Gummy and then laughs after a few minutes
- >"Isn't he hilarious?"
- >This fucking mare...
- >Nevermind that, you have to get shit done today
- Berry...do you want to help me go job hunting? I can't leave you alone here and we need the bits.
- >"Yeah let's get a job!"
- >She hops onto your shoulders from the bed
- >This pony's got some hops
- Berry...
- >You pull her over your head and into your arms
- I'm getting the job. Not you. Don't even talk when we find some place, okay?
- >She smiles and nods her head
- >It's about damn time she understands something
- >You head out with her and go into the market
- >You pass a stand with weird totems and trinkets on it
- >Running the stand is none other than
- Zecora? What are you doing in town?
- >"Ah, Anonymous! What a pleasure to meet you here."
- >She's stopped rhyming because it started to confuse the normal ponies
- >"Who is this?"
- >She points to the sleeping pony in your arms
- Oh, this is Berry.
- >"Your marefriend?"
- What? No!
- >Berry nuzzles into your body and Zecora raises an eyebrow
- >"Really?"
- Ugh...are you hiring or not?
- >You say as you look around her strange stand
- >"No. But I heard that the restaurant is."
- >She points a hoof to at building on the corner
- >After thanking her you walk into the restaurant
- >It's a nice place, not too run down but not five star classy type
- >Although the blue floor does not match the neon green tables they have here
- >You stop your internal critique of the place when a pony comes over
- >"Will that be just the two of you today?"
- Oh um no I heard you're hiring?
- >"Oh yes! Right this way."
- >She walks you through to an office and opens the door for you
- >You walk in and the dark blue pony with a brown mane tells you to sit
- >"So, what are you here for?"
- I'm looking for a job.
- >"Both of you?"
- >Berry is now sitting up straight and she nods her head before you can explain
- >God damn it Berry
- >"What are your names?"
- I'm Anon.
- >"Berry!"
- >He looks at her a little confused that she screamed at him but then relaxes
- >"Okay, tell me why I should hire you."
- >He says as he leans back in his chair and looks at Berry and back to you
- >Here goes
- I won't let you down with anything you tell me to do, and I swear to be honest with you at all times.
- >He nods his head and then looks to Berry
- >"And you, miss?"
- >"I like tomatoes."
- >It is silent as the spaghetti falls out of your pockets onto the ground
- Look I can explain-
- >"Explain what Anon? As a fellow tomato fan, I say you're both hired!"
- >Wat
- >...
- >You're now in the kitchen and this is the last stop of the tour
- >Too bad there were only three stops
- >His office, the bathroom, and here
- >Also his name is Jeff
- >Not short for Jeffrey, he corrected you
- >Just Jeff
- >"Okay, what is rule one of the kitchen?"
- >He asks while standing in front of you
- Wash your hands?
- >"Don't listen to rules!"
- >Screams Berry
- >He russles her mane and smiles
- >"Atta mare. Alright I'm going now. Sophie down there will teach you how the equipment works."
- >And with that he leaves
- >You both turn to Sophie
- >Holy shit you almost threw up
- >She is about four times the weight of an average mare and has her hair up with a net on it
- >And the sweat stains on her clothes just add to the disgustingness
- >She looks over to you and waves at you
- >"Get over here."
- >She sounds like she's been smoking for thirty years
- >You cautiously approach her
- >"Move yer ass!"
- >She hacks up some mystery goop and spits it in the trash next to her
- >You and Berry get over to her and jesus fucking christ she smells like burnt shit wrapped in shit
- >Worse than Twilight's bathroom
- >"Alright, I work with the salads and you both are assigned to trash duty."
- That's it? Just taking out the trash?
- >"Unless ya want me to squeeze my fat ass past ya."
- >She winks at you
- >You throw up in your mouth a little
- No ma'am.
- >Berry has been exceptionally quiet for now
- >She's just listening as Sophie tells you about her experiences working here
- >Also apparently Sophie can fit twenty seven carrots down her throat before she gags
- >You get to work taking out the trash
- >Turns out there was a huge fucking pile of it right outside in the alley
- >You have to carry it across the street to the dumpster
- >And so you did, bag by bag
- >Berry is as big as each bag and gave up after the third one
- >Now she just rides your back and gives you moral support
- >"GIDDIE UP ANON! LIFT WITH YOUR BACK!"
- >Damn it Berry
- >...
- >It took you three hours of labor, but you finally did it
- >All the trash is in the dumpster now
- >Surprisingly there is a magical portal in the dumpster that sucks the trash out to the swamp
- >Guess that's safe right?
- >Keep the swamp all...swampy?
- >Brain please not now
- >Berry jumps off you and wipes away nothing from her forehead
- >"Whew Anon! That was some hard work!"
- Berry I did all of it.
- >You turn around and Sophie drops another bag down
- >"I got it Anon!"
- >Berry puts it on her back and walks across the street
- >Just then an oversized ball of lettuce on wheels comes flying down the street
- Shit!
- >You run out and push Berry the rest of the way across
- >You are hit by it and it explodes to just leaves of lettuce
- >Pinkie is right there eating some
- >"Hey Anon!"
- Ouch Pinkie...
- >You rub the back of your head that hit the wheel
- >How have you not been knocked unconscious yet?
- Weren't you working?
- >"I got off early sillybuns!"
- >You sit up and see Jeff talking to Berry
- Oh no...
- >You run over there
- >Jeff turns to you
- >"Anon! How nice of you to finish your jog while Berry took out all the trash."
- >He says with a nasty tone as he leads Berry back inside with a hoof over her shoulder
- >Are you fucking kidding
- >You stomp over to the door seeping with rage and it flings open before you touch it
- >Sophie is there
- >"I heard from Jeff that you think taking jogs and not doing your job is fun."
- >She looks angry
- >Wait...she always looks like that
- >Nevermind then
- Of course not! I did all that work while she sat on my shoulders! You saw it yourself!
- >"I didn't see anything but you're sweet ass running back over."
- >Wat
- Um...what?
- >She licks her lips
- No...
- >You back away
- >She pounces at you, pinning you to the ground with three hundred pounds of fat on your torso
- UGH SHIT YOU FAT BITCH GET OFF!
- >"Yeah! Call me a whore!"
- >She's grinding her fatass pussy on your leg as she pulls your pants down
- >Brain: Penis, be a trooper don't succumb to this!
- >Penis: I...I...UGH I CAN'T DO IT!
- >Brain: RESIST IT MAN!
- >Penis: AAAHHHHH!
- >It was a valiant effort but your dick loses and raises it's defense by 4 points
- Why me...
- >She gets them completely off and without hesitation plunges you into her deep abyss
- >Also known as her butthole
- >She bounces up and down on you moaning out in a whisper because of her raspy ass voice
- >Each time she slams down you feel your pelvis being closer and closer to being smashed to bits
- >Eventually her legs give out, and she slams down a final time, pushing her and, unfortunately, you off the edge
- >She squirts onto your shirt
- >Fucking hell now you have to get a new one
- >She pulls off of you and rips a wicked fart
- >Why is this your life
- >She turns to you after standing and winks
- >Then winks again as she goes back inside
- >Bleh...
- >And you did
- >Threw up all that was in your stomach, which wasn't much
- >After composing yourself and pulling up your pants, you go back inside
- >You see Berry staring off into the distance as Jeff talks to her about business stuff
- Berry, we're leaving.
- >She looks at you and then nods
- >"Wait, you can't just leave!"
- >Jeff calls out
- We quit.
- >You walk over to Berry and she looks up at you
- >Then a whistle attracts your attention
- >You look up to see Sophie presenting her asshole dripping with your seed
- >Instead of ogrereacting, you stare right at it
- >Then turn back, pick up Berry, and walk out of the front door
- Nope.
- >"Where are we going Anon?"
- I guess back to Pinkie's house.
- >"Oh. Hey Anon?"
- What?
- >"I love you."
- >You look down to her
- >She smiles as she curls into your chest and her tail swishes
- >D'awwww
- >That almost helps you feel like you didn't just get raped by a fat, sweaty, and vomit inducing miniature horse
- >...Brain you're a dick
- >When you get back to Pinkie's place the sun is setting
- >Pinkie is there laying on her bed with Gummy on her chest
- >She moves her head so she's looking at you upside down
- >"Hey Anon."
- Were you driving that thing?
- >"Yeah...now I know why they didn't give me a license."
- >She flips over and Gummy jumps away
- >"So, did you get a job?"
- Yes and no.
- >"What?"
- We had jobs for a few hours...but quit. It was a crappy job anyways.
- >Pinkie sighs
- >"Well if you can't pay rent then you can't live here. I'm sorry Anon."
- Pinkie please just let us stay the night?
- >She puts a hoof to her chin and looks to you
- >Then she looks at Berry who sits up a little
- >Her nose scrunches up and she does a cute wittle sneeze
- >D'awwww
- >D'awwwwing this much should be a crime
- >"Okay Anon, for tonight."
- >You look at her for a few seconds
- So...where are we sleeping?
- >Pinkie giggles and pats the bed
- >You take off Berry's clothes and strip down to your boxers and shirt
- >Pinkie is cool because she likes mares so you don't have to worry
- >You walk over and put Berry on it, then get under the covers yourself
- >In a few seconds you feel something warm and fuzzy on both the front and back of your torso
- >Berry is snuggled against your chest while Pinkie is back to back with you
- >"Night Anon."
- >Pinkie says as she reaches for the light
- >"Night my love..."
- >Mumbles Berry into your shirt
- >She smells it and then turns around
- >Yeah gonna have to completely get rid of this damn thing
- Goodnight.
- >You drift off into warm, fuzzy, and adorable wrapped sleep
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