Thank you for contacting us about your application. We would be happy to give you details on how we reached our decision.

First is Polnareff's canon point. In our previous correspondence, we mentioned that we would need information about Purple Haze Feedback if Polnareff's characterization was going to be pulled in part from it. We appreciate you providing the wiki link, but the article gives no indication that Polnareff actually appears in Purple Haze Feedback. Upon digging further, we discovered he is not physically present at any point, and is only mentioned once by another character in passing. As this provides neither the concrete, on-screen presence of this character, nor does the text seem to give any details about his explicit doings or whereabouts, we determined that PHF would not be a suitable canon point for this character. However, choice of canon point was only a small note of concern; if it were only this, we would have asked only for revisions.

The section that required the most attention, and that we feel would take the most work to edit, was the personality. We explained that we would like to see a blend of traits from Stardust Crusaders and Vento Aureo -- because of the wide, in-canon duration of time between these two events, we wanted to see which parts of his personality were consistent and in what ways he'd developed between the former and latter. However, your expansion in the personality reads much more like a second history section, detailing the specifics of events in order that Polnareff experiences and reacts to, but not always why he does this, or what it says about his overall character. We do require that personality traits are backed up with reference to the canon source; unfortunately, throughout this application, weight and emphasis were clearly given more to explaining the events of the canon rather than their effect on the character. The narrative summaries were so extensive in some places that it was difficult to tie which part was meant to support the personality trait listed.

We found that the same or similar events were sometimes used to justify different, or at times contradicting personality traits. For example, Polnareff's confrontation with Dio is used to indicate his bravery, but is later used as evidence to support a lack of self-preservation as a result of his survivor's guilt. While we expect characters to have complex, and sometimes contradictory motives, there was no analysis within the application itself to synthesize how these two traits could coexist within this event. Likewise, though traits were listed in isolation with regards to their showcasing events, we did not see how these traits tied together into a cohesive whole.

Furthermore, some of the highlight details indicated on the application form itself -- "[describe] their motivations, their worldview, their relationships with others, and so on" -- were absent from this write-up. There is little to no discussion of how Polnareff interacts with others in his important relationships; we find them mentioned within events, like the death of his sister or of Abdul, but no details as to how Polnareff interacted with these characters, or what he valued in them, or what about their deaths struck him so hard. Similarly, though Polnareff is demonstrated to be obsessed with retribution against those who have wronged him, the text does not tell us why he is this way.

The personality section, overall, is meant to give us a clear understanding of who your character is, why he does the things he does, and how his internal world (his thoughts, his values, his relationships, etc) comes into play with the external (his actions, his moods, his behaviors, his attitudes, etc). As written, the personality section does not provide us with this. We would need this whole segment re-written, moving the recounting of extant events to the history section, and leaving the personality section to explain and analyze what makes him the character he is.

Finally, the new sample is a bit lacking. It does not seem to match up with what of Polnareff's character is presented in the personality section. Additionally, although it meets the minimum amount of dialogue by quantity, we have a hard time determining your character's "voice" from the provided segment -- in part because the way he talks and behaves are not covered in the personality section.

Because all of these would need to be corrected (in the case of his canon point) or rewritten (in the case of the personality and sample), a rejection was issued. We hope that this explains our decision. If you would like any further guidance or have any further questions, please let us know!