bossy boots

[At the Corpus Crab, Alad V is at the ordering boat and Zora is looking out from the ordering window. Nef Anyo's voice sounds on the P.A]
Nef Anyo: Attention! Attention! All Corpus Crew employees, attention! [Nef Anyo is standing next to them, speaking into a megaphone] Get the credits out of your pants and report to my office! [pause] That will be all. [Alad V and Zora follow Nef Anyo into his office and sit down] I have an important announcement to make.
Zora: Woo! Hooray! [Zora jumps up on top of the chair and twirls it around] The new spatulas are here!
Nef Anyo: Sit down, girl! There's no new spatulas!
Alad V: [sarcastically] How disappointing.
Nef Anyo: You may know my daughter Kela. She's growing up fast. [he looks at a picture of Kela and Nef Anyo in suits and bow ties on a stage] It seems like it was just yesterday I was teaching her how to host a game show. My Grineer angel. Oh... [puts the picture back on the wall] Anyway, uh, so she's going to be working here during her summer vacation. She's got a lot of fresh ideas to bring in some hungry customers! [a bell rings]
Kela: [off-screen] Hello? Daddy?
Nef Anyo: Thar she blows! [Nef Anyo leaves the room]
Alad V: Zora, do you realize what this means?
Zora: No new spatulas?
Alad V: No! It means some bratty dog's coming in here to tell us what to do. We can't have that! We have seniority, right?
Zora: Right! [Zora and Alad V shake hands]
Alad V: So, we'll work together to protect our pathetic positions.
Zora: Okey-dokey, Alad. And then we'll get those new spatulas!
Nef Anyo: [Nef Anyo' head pokes into the office] All right, men. [Zora and Alad V walk out of the office] Say hello to my Kela.
Zora: Hello. [Zora hugs one of the giant pillars]
Kela: [holding a box] Hi, guys.
Nef Anyo: It makes me giddy as the void to have you finally aboard the family business!
Kela: Great, dad, because I have so many new ideas.
Nef Anyo: [Nef Anyo sniffs the air and his eyes conjoin to make a dollar sign shape] I can smell the money already! I'll be in my office if you need me! [walks off]
Zora: What's in the box?
Kela: It's a surprise.
Zora: I like surprises.
Kela: Great, then close your eyes.
Zora: [Zora covers her eyes with her hands] I'm ready! [Kela puts the box's open end over Zora]
Alad V: Well, I like it so far.
Kela: [Kela lifts up the box] Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa... [Alad V gasps. The body suit is pink with purple flowers and on the top are two C's being held up by springs] It's the new Corpus Crew uniform. I designed it myself. [Kela hands Zora a mirror]
Alad V: Okay, this is it, Zora. Now tell her how you really feel about that uniform.
Zora: Okay, Alad. [she winks to him] Kela... this is the greatest uniform ever!
Alad V: Sentient paste.
Kela: Oh, Zora, you look so adorable. I could just eat you up.
Zora: Sorry, Kela, but this item's not on the menu! [giggles]
Alad V: Well, I didn't think it was possible, Zora, but you look even more ridiculous than usual.
Kela: Don't feel jealous, Uncle Alad. I made one for you, too. [she holds up his uniform]
Alad V: Don't bother! Only a fool would wear that!
Nef Anyo: [Nef Anyo bursts out of his office, wearing the uniform] By the Void! Don't these just shiver your timbers? [laughs, then shuts the door. Anyo peeks his head out] Get that suit on, peasant. It's already been paid for.
Alad V: [with the uniform on. The two springs give and the C's fall over Alad's eyes] Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation.
Kela: Alad is such a barnacle.
Zora: A stick in the sand.
Kela: But not you, Zora. You are full of style.
Zora: Me? Really?
Kela: Totally, Z.B. You ooze fashion. And I've got some completely coral concepts for this old joint, and I'm going to need someone with your kind of talent to help me.
Zora: Well, I have been trying to get Nef Anyo to make a few changes around here. [he looks at a picture she drew of Nef Anyo, herself and Alad V with mustaches]
Kela: Why, with my ghoulish instincts and your um... tennoness, [cut to a view of the Corpus Crab as a deserted place, where a skeleton is sitting at a table] we'll turn this worn-out lunch wagon into a Grineer paradise.
Kela: [cut to Kela with a notepad, thinking] Zora, what do you like better? The Culling Crab or the Killing Krab?
Alad V: [Alad V runs over] For what, dare I ask?
Kela: The new name for our new look. I mean, "The Corpus Crab" has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is a cult? Bleh! [she points the pencil towards her open mouth, to show disgust]
Alad V: Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, Zora?
Zora: I got it! How about The Chaotic Crab?
Kela: Hmm... how about The Cruelty Crab? [puckers up lips and makes kissing noises]
Zora: [Zora is now in royal attire] The Cash Crab?
Kela: [Kela holds up a lollipop, which bears an odd resemblance to her father] The Clash Crab!
Zora: [Zora dressed as a jazzy beatnik] The Cool Crab. [dresses as a cowboy riding a stick horse] Or the Cowboy Crab! [appears totally stretched out] The Curly Crab. [appears as a mad scientist holding a brain with Nef Anyo-like arms coming from it] The Creepy Crab. [Appears as a crazy killer jungle man with a loincloth. Shouts scarily.] The Kuddly Krab!
Kela: [freaked out] Aaah! No!
Zora: You're right, too cutesy. [they both think and finally get the name]
Zora and Kela: The Killer Krab! [Both punch at each other. A bunch of blood spatters fill the screen. Kela, Zora and an anguished Alad V stand outside the new restaurant. The sign for the restaurant is now a human heart and a dangerous-looking robot Anyo is waving his arms atop it. The restaurant outside itself is tie-dyed with colors and spatters and the flags are now human hearts. Skulls are hanging from the roof and giant ads for Rathuum come from the chimney. Kela and Zora, giggling, walk back in the restaurant. Alad V is so mad that the two C's on his uniform catch on fire and he shakes the pole. Saya and Konzu drive by in a car]
Saya: It's a shame old man Anyo sold the Corpus Crab.
Konzu: That's a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get an early lunch around here?
Alad V: That's it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it between his legs. Inside the restaurant, it's a total makeover, like Kela said before, it's a Grineer paradise]
Shelia: Finally! A cool place for executioners to just, you know, hang out! [Kela and Zora admire their restaurant]
Zora: Kela, you're a genius. All these young, hip new customers. Phooey on Alad V. He can't keep up with the times. You're a true visionary, Kela.
Kela: Thank you, Zora. I do have 20/20 vision. [blinks bashfully]
Zora: Well, hip people have to eat, too. Back to the grill. [Zora is in the kitchen at the grill] The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter. [she pushes her spatula on the grill and imitates a sizzle]
Kela: [Kela is in the ordering window to hand Zora an order] Zora, order up!
Zora: Two... sa-lads. Never heard of it. I got to stay hip. I don't want to end up like silly old Alad… that kind of sounds like his name. But what in the name of Davy Jones' locker is a [pronounces it wrong] sa-lad? [cut to Zora walking up to Kela with a tray with two Grofit Patties] Here you go. Two sa-lads.
Kela: Ew, gross. Those aren't salads. Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.
Zora: But that just leaves the lettuce and the tomato.
Kela: Exactly.
Zora: All right. [walks back to the kitchen and sadly removes the top bun] Okay, no buns. That's hip. [removes the bottom buns and top buns] No patties, [removes the patties] happenin.' [crushed] Oh, yeah, that's definitely the coolest meal I've ever saw.
Garesh: This is so cool!
Zora: [Zora walks over with a tray of salads to Garesh and Zura at a table, who are talking] Two salads. [he drops the tray on the table and walks back to the kitchen] That was awful. I hope I never have to tear apart a perfectly good Grofit Patty ever again. I don't think my heart can take it. [she screams, noticing the grill is gone] Where's the grill?
Kela: Come on, Zora, you're a hip girl. You know that fried foods are O-U-T, out!
Zora: Uh... right on.
Kela: Check out this new menu I came up with. [Zora takes the menu]
Zora: [reading it] Salad and tea. But where are the Grofit Patties?
Kela: Silly, those aren't hip. And you won't be needing that thing anymore. [takes the spatula from Zora. She starts to stutter] I've got something more fun for you to do anyway. [cut to Zora outside the restaurant in a lancer suit, waving at cars. One car with Darvo stops]
Darvo: Hey, buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention! [laughs and drives off]
Zora: This is humiliating. I'm a fry cook, darn it! You can take away my spatula, but when you take away my dignity, that's when I get mad! I'm going to march right up to Nef Anyo's office and tell him this is just too much! [she walks toward the restaurant, but gravity gets the best of her and she falls over. She struggles to get up and starts to whimper. Cut to Zora at Nef Anyo's door, outside the costume] Okay, Zora, you can do this. Come on... [she knocks on the door and peeks in] Mr. Anyo, can I talk to you? [Nef Anyo's office is just as elaborately decorated as the rest of the restaurant]
Nef Anyo: Come on in, my girl! Have a seat.
Zora: Thanks, Mr. Anyo. [she sits down in a bear bean bag chair, but starts to sink inside it]
Nef Anyo: Don't you just love my new office? Kela designed it for me.
Zora: [Zora has sunk in, now you can only see her eye] Mr. Anyo, um, I think we have a problem.
Nef Anyo: Isn't that the neatest $40 chair you ever sat in?
Zora: [Zora has totally sunk into the chair and ehe sticks out her hand] Sure, Mr. Anyo, but I've got some bad news.
Nef Anyo: How about my cuddly executive buddy? [picks up a blue stress-relief doll] Reduces stress for only five easy payments of $9.95. [Anyo squeezes it and its eyes, nose and ears pop out]
Zora: [Zora pops out of the chair] Mr. Anyo, Kela is ruining the Corpus Crab! [she covers her mouth]
Nef Anyo: What?! Why, Kela is saving the Corpus Crab! I mean, the Killer Krab. [goes over to a picture of a seahorse] What would we do without these beautiful $20 sea unicorn wall hangers? [goes to a strand of lights] How could we ever survive without these $35 heart lights? How could we go on without a sea fern on every last table?! [holds one up] It's hip! It's coral! It's... it's losing money! [starts to cry] Oh, you're right, Zora. But I can't fire my pride and joy, it'll break her fragile little heart! What am I going to do?
Zora: There, there, Mr. Anyo. I'm sure there's another way.
Nef Anyo: That's it, girl!
Zora: What's it?
Nef Anyo: You could fire her! It's okay if she hates you.
Zora: That's not what I said, sir. [Nef Anyo brings Zora to the door]
Nef Anyo: Great then, it's all settled: you fire Kela, I'll wait in my office. [Zora is pushed out the door and accidentally runs into Kela]
Kela: Totally rude, Zora.
Zora: Kela, can I see to you in the kitchen for a second?
Kela: Sure, Zora. [they walk to the kitchen]
Zora: [thinking] How am I going to break it to her? I've never fired anyone before. I just got to say it. Kela, you're fired! Okay, here it goes. [Zora opens her mouth to say it, but Kela is already crying]
Kela: [crying] Oh, Zora! [Zora lets out a sigh of some relief]
Kela: I can't take it anymore! Nothing I do is working!
Zora: Sure it is, Kela. Look at all the hip, young people eating sa-lads!
Kela: No, don't you get it?! I've been trying to get fired since day one! I was only pretending to like this place to please Daddy. This job is cutting majorly into my social life. Oh, Zora, what should I do?
Zora: [Zora thinks for a second] I got it! I can pretend to [air quotes] "fire you." I'll take the heat from old man Anyo later.
Kela: [Kela grabs Zora in a bone-snapping hug] Gosh, you'd really do that for me? You're a great pal, Zora. How can I ever thank you?!
Zora: [muffled] Stop trying to break me in half?
Kela: [Kela drops her] Deal. [cut to Zora and Kela walking up to Nef Anyo's door, Kela tries to conceal her laughing] Oh, boy!
Zora: Okay, Kela. We've got to make this convincing. [loud and clear] Kela, I need to have a word with you! [we see Nef Anyo in his office, sobbing]
Nef Anyo: Oh no, here it goes! I don't know if I can bear to listen.
Zora: It's not that you haven't done a good job around here, it's just that...
Nef Anyo: [Anyo is pushed against the door] Don't be too hard on her, now. Why does it have to be this way? [he sees himself in the uniform in the mirror] It's for the best.
Zora: Well, we feel it might be in everybody's best interest if...
Nef Anyo: I can't let him do this! [he goes for the door, then sees the vault open. It's empty, and a spider crawls around its web] Get on with it, Zora!
Zora: Kela, you're fired. [Nef Anyo chokes and falls over]
Kela: Thanks, Zora. [kisses her. She runs off and jumps into a car with all her executors] Come on, gang, Rathuum awaits! [they drive off. Zora runs into the office]
Zora: Hey, Nef Anyo, I did it! [she screams when he sees Anyo's body. She runs over to a bill behind glass, which is for emergency purposes and she breaks the glass. She waves the bill under Anyo's nose]
Nef Anyo: [regaining consciousness] Oh, Kela... [sniffs] Is that a $20? [he pockets the bill] Oh, Zora, how could I have done such a thing to my own clone flesh and blood? [cries]
Zora: There, there, Nef Anyo. Kela took it just fine, in fact, she seemed sort of happy.
Nef Anyo: Really?
Zora: She's off to bigger and bloodier things.
Nef Anyo: That's my old girl; tough as nails, just like her old man! [laughs] But how am I gonna get my money back for all this stuff? [Zora thinks. Cut to her house, where all the stuff is put up in her house. Zora dances in her uniform to the music]
Zora: [laughing] Isn't this great, Midnight? And it only cost me one year's salary!
Midnight: [Midnight is covered in stuffed animals and her kavat kigurumi has flowers painted on it] Meow?