NEKORATA

I've [20M] been romantically interested in a friend (We'll call her Amy [20F]) for over a decade and we haven't seen each other for many years until recently. We've been talking for a very long time over the net.

At the moment, I have the opportunity to be in a sexual relationship with another friend (We'll call her Belle [18F]) who I have absolutely no romantic interest in.

I have a desire to go through with this but I feel like I've ruined two past relationships by my strong sexual desires with my ex's. I enjoy having a sexual relationship and in a way, it helps with my urges (though I know this isn't the best way to deal with it).

However, sometimes when I think about this issue again, it doesn't feel always morally right to be engaging in a FWB relationship.

I plan to stop either when my FWB partner has no interest anymore or before I ask my crush out. I don't think it matters but I don't plan to be having sex until I get married.

My decade long friend doesn't seem to have much interest in me nor anyone else at all. I've asked her for her interest in me before but she has expressed no interest. I'm wondering if her opinion will change if we meet up more. It does feel as if I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

We went out today and she had a lot of fun and we're making some progress though it's extremely slow

As for the FWB relationship, I'm not looking to go anywhere with my partner. I'm just thinking of having a fun time. I'm certain that this won't be a problem in the future as no one will find out.

What I'm considering is whether or not I will be able to live with the decisions I'm making.