Dear God why

[09:12] <Taure> Oh god
[09:12] <Taure> Awful awful crack fic idea
[09:12] <<Taure> Voldemort's fleshlight horcrux
[09:12] <Proudboar> Looooooooooooool
[09:12] <Taure> He literally fucks himself
[09:14] <Taure> Harry held the strange cylindrical object curiously. "I think you..."
[09:15] <Taure> "Harry, no!" shouted Hermione, but it was too late.
[09:15] <Taure> Harry inserted his penis into the object.
[09:15] <Taure> A strange, hissing sound came from within, and Harry suddenly remembered what Hermione had said, once: it was dangerous to get too close to a horcrux.
[09:15] <Zeelthor> XD
[09:16] <Taure> Quickly, he pulled out, but it was too late.
[09:16] <Taure> "Potter," hissed his penis, speaking parseltongue.
[09:16] <Proudboar> Oh, god
[09:16] <Proudboar> is rolling
[09:16] <Taure> "See what you have reduced me to?"
[09:17] <Proudboar> Harry's "Snake," is speaking parseltongue.
[09:17] <Proudboar> brilliant
[09:17] <Zombie> Taure stop drinking Chilean bathtub wine
[09:17] <Taure> "Less than a spirit, reduced to possessing... wait, what is this?"
[09:17] <Zombie> It's rotting your brain
[09:17] <Taure> "POTTER. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"
[09:17] <Taure>
[09:17] <Proudboar> He always did have a fascination with snakes
[09:18] <Proudboar> Oh god, the awkwardness any time harry got aroused or was goona have sex
[09:18] <Proudboar> Just imagine the comments
[09:19] <Taure> "Not her, Potter! She's a filthy mudblood! I demand you put me inside a proper Pureblood pussy!"
[09:19] <Zeelthor>
[09:19] <Proudboar> rolls. Rolls and rolls and rolls.
[09:19] <Zeelthor> too
[09:20] <Minion> Now think about anal.
[09:20] <Tuiz> ...
[09:20] <Minion> "It's that time of the month?!"
[09:20] <Taure> As Harry thrusted away, the strangely muffled sound of screaming came from below.
[09:20] <Tuiz> Truly a dark cavern
[09:21] <Taure> "OH MY GOD!" screamed Voldemort. "I NEVER KNEW MUDBLOOD WAS SO LITERAL. WHERE IS ALL THIS BLOOD COMING FROM?"
[09:21] <Zeelthor> You're sick.
[09:21] <Proudboar> dies
[09:21] <Starwind> lol
[09:21] <Proudboar> This should definitely go in IRC Quotes thread
[09:24] <Taure> Unfortunately, Harry was too lost in pleasure to pay attention to what Voldemort was saying. "Blood of the enemy," his penis hissed, "you will revive you foe..."
[09:24] <Tuiz> Lol
[09:25] <Zeelthor> XD
[09:27] <Taure> Lily moaned; Voldemort continued. "Boning the mother, you will renew your son!"
[09:28] <Proudboar> Oh god, this taking me forever to make this look good enough to post
[09:29] <Taure> Harry came just as Voldemort completed the ritual. "Flesh of the servant," Voldemort spat -- several times, "You will revive your master!"
[09:29] <Tuiz> Taure, even as a penis your Voldemort seems asexual <.<
[09:29] <Taure> lol
[09:30] <Kens> Wait - so Harry conceives with his mother an incest-baby that is the new vessel for Voldemort?
[09:30] <Taure> yes
[09:30] <Kens> wheee let's play genetic defect lottery
[09:32] <Taure> Well
[09:32] <Taure> I think this plot bunny has no been fully explored
[09:33] <Taure> At least until Voldemort is born
[09:33] <Taure> Snake like and already able to speak as he's coming out of Lily's vagina.
[09:34] <Starwind> rofl
[09:34] <Zeelthor> So that's what happened with Stewie Griffin
[09:34] <xion> So that's out!
[09:35] <Starwind> I just got a stupid scene in my head now with a snake heading towards Lily, she falls down, and her vaginal lips start hissing...
[09:35] <Starwind> thanks for that Taure.
[09:36] <Taure> "If you think this was messy," said baby-Voldemort, looking up at the screaming midwife. "Wait til I tell you about the horcrux I made out of an anal douching kit."
[09:38] -->| Azira (lorvenb@dlp-4FFDD9E0.bb.netvision.net.il) has joined #darklordpotter
[09:38] <Taure> The Dark Lord Voldemort was aptly named, for he crawled out of a very dark space.
[09:38] <Taure> "Freedom at last!" cried Voldemort, holding up the hands of his animated bodymade of human feces.