James Bond: Double 0 Nothing (outline)

FILM TITLE: Double 0 Nothing

CONCEPT: a James Bond film set as a 60’s period piece. All gadgets should be pulled from the plethora of very real period accurate gadgets such as microfilm camera pens instead of cutting lasers that somehow fit into wristwatches. Rather than an action movie, Bond is attempting to infiltrate the inner circle of Milton Hildebrand, a former Wall Street banker who has become a multimillionaire and currently runs a gambling casino. The casino is a front for money laundering. Milton Hildebrand owns a private island in the Seychelles with underage prostitutes to honeytrap intelligence assets. His ultimate plan is to trigger another proxy war between the U.S. and USSR. via false-flag-attack to drain both of them of resources while getting rich shorting the countries in conflict. Bond must ingratiate himself in Milton's company as the two engage in a battle of wits to test Bond’s loyalty and limits of his depravity as they size each other up and engage in further escalating mind games. Like in the books, the strained relationship between England and the USA (and the role of England in the world following the end of colonialism) is a central theme, along with Bond as a paragon of English virtue hiding beneath a callous shell.

OUTLINE:
In the cold open, set in West Berlin 1963, James Bond has a daring heist/chase scene where he helps extract a high-value Soviet defector from the Russian embassy in West Berlin. This is accomplished with a car chase (Aston Martin DB3, of course) involving water-soluble car paint, where they run the car thru a car wash operated by Q and a pit crew who quickly change the license plate, color, and replace a broken mirror and tire to avoid police. The defector escapes thru a secret hatch in the bottom of the car, down the hole of a trapdoor in the middle of the road and into a tunnel, and thru the tunnel across the Berlin wall and finally into an MI6 East-Berlin safehouse by exiting up a fake out house -- the last place the Russians will look for the defector is the Soviet side of the iron curtain, where he will remain until the search has been called off. Bond then goes to a club in Berlin to report to his supervisor, but Bond’s drink has been spiked with LSD (“a clever little concoction from our American friends”) by the Soviet secret Counterintelligence unit SMERSH. As Bond trips and hallucinates, the opening credit sequence begin with a seamless transition to a very-60’s psychedelic naked woman and imagery of wine, blood, and poison skull and crossbones…

OPENING THEME SONG: Shades of Cool by Lana Del Rey

From the LSD, Bond has a PTSD flashback to When he was 18 years old at Eton College during World War II, when his girlfriend (who he sneaks into the all-boys boarding school) is killed in front of him by a stray piece of shrapnel to the face when the Eton chapel was bombed by the Lufftwaffe. Bond wakes up in terror in the MI6 infirmary.

While he doesn’t reveal the whereabouts of the defector, the drugged James Bond reveals his name and 007 designation, while also making unwanted advances on a woman (the Russian spy from SMERSH that spiked his drink) stripping his shirt in the bar (from the profuse sweating from LSD intoxication) The story is running on the B-pages of Pravda and a KGB controlled western newspaper in an attempt to embarrass MI6 and “Burn” James Bond as a spy. M does not fire Bond, as he is too valuable an asset, but takes him off assignments directly involving the Soviet Union for the time being. He leaves the office, but not before flirting with Moneypenny, who flirts back, but he ultimately rebuffs her advances.

M assigns Bond to make contact and ingratiate himself with Milton Hildebrand, a suspected money launder and owner of a casino in Macau who the CIA and MI6 both believe has a much larger operation planned in the near future. Milton is established to be a very dangerous and enigmatic man with a demonic presence who wields considerable power wherever he goes, and no matter the attempts to investigate or prosecute him, he is always able to escape justice under mysterious circumstances. “The law is like a spider’s web; the flies are caught, but the hornets go free” Instead of sticking to his orders and losing a game of poker under an alias (Milton’s ego is easily wounded by failure, Felix Leiter informs him), Bond listens to his instincts: he introduces himself for the first time by his real name “Bond, James Bond” to illicit a response and judge his tells (he correctly assesses that Milton know’s of James Bond's 007 identity from the Pravda leak, and that James’ brazenness put’s Milton off base), and then cleans him out in a double or nothing game of poker after calling Milton’s bluff. Milton sends goons after Bond to retrieve the money and take him to Milton, but he disarms them and to their surprise hands them back the unloaded weapon and demands to be taken to Milton.

Milton is bemused. Bond promises he will return all of the money, plus what he made off of it in blackjack, and the reason for this meeting is that MI6 -- and by extension, the Crown -- are in need of his money laundering services. Bond and Milton both smoke cigars -- Bond’s cigar has a microphone hidden in the butt which he pitches into the trash can and uses to listen in on Milton after their meeting. James believes that Milton has bought his cover.

Milton invites Bond to come with him to his private island in the Seychelles to continue their business, and for Milton to assess Bond. On the Island, Milton is surrounded by beautiful women of questionable age. Bond’s friend at the CIA, Felix Leiter has teamed up with Bond and he is stationed to observe and report on Bond from a fake yacht several miles off the coast. Bond is free to travel to and from the island to the mainland during the day, where he meets with his peers at the British Embassy.

During dinner with Bond, Milton prepares a “special” meal to celebrate their friendship. As Bond is waiting in the foyer to be let into the Dining room, he discovers a poorly hidden security camera in a decorative plant, and is almost immediately then called into the dining room.  To ‘honor’ his new British benefactor, Milton unfurls a Union Jack to be used as a dining room tablecloth, which Milton deliberately spills food and wine on. Bond refuses to take the bait, and wounds Milton’s ego by correctly identifying their wine as 1961 Chateau Latour, mistaken by Milton for 1959 Chateau Margaux. Bond graciously forgives Milton, declaring that he prefers the 61 Chateau Latour anyway. Milton brags that he has both these wines and made the error due to inexperience as he normally drinks more expensive vintage wines but does not want to waste them on someone he has just met. Milton attempts to goad Bond by making statements pertaining to “Perfidious Albion,” but Bond redirects this thru their shared contempt for the USA and Pax Americana, and how the Americans ruined Britain’s reputation and destroyed the Empire thru the Suez Canal Crisis of 1956. As Bond leaves the dinner and returns to the foyer, he notices a very well-concealed hidden camera inside the clock on the wall and that the poorly concealed camera was not functional.

When Bond retires to his quarters on the island, he is greeted by two naked women in his bed who attempts to seduce him, but he realizes that this is a honey trap and they are likely under the legal age. He takes a bite from a peach from his room’s fruit basket and spits it out. “Afraid of poison, Mr. Bond?” jokes one of the girls. He retorts “You should wait for fruit to ripen before you pick them,” and leaves for the mainland. Milton is revealed to be filming Bond’s room with a hidden camera, hoping to collect kompromat on him.

The next day, Bond returns to the island. Milton recognizes that Bond, like him, enjoys expensive luxury cars, and attempts to one-up and impress Bond by showing him his 1964 Chevy Malibu. Bond is confused, as it is 1963 and the Chevy Malibu has not been released yet, but Milton explains that he has friends in high places and has managed to get one of their working models before the car model goes public.

Milton takes bond Fishing from his private yacht and hooks an extremely rare and prized endangered fish in shallow waters, but it manages to break the line. Not wanting to admit defeat, Milton dumps a barrel of poison into the water, killing hundreds of fish, just to get his prize, which he cooks and feeds to Bond. Milton informs Bond that it is a new Soviet nerve agent -- harmless to skin and ingestion, but extremely lethal on inhalation or entering the bloodstream via gills -- in another attempt to one-up bond. It is a stable liquid at room temperature, resembling the red wine that Milton is fond of, but aerosolized with heat or explosion. They agree to terms for their first money laundering scheme. Bond will bring 1 million in Pound Sterling, and Milton will wash it in exchange for a 5% fee.

The next day, Bond brings the money in (claiming it is from an MI6 narcotics operation) and exchanges it to Milton for the USD equivalent in nonserialized notes, but Milton only returns 85%. Bond and Milton argue, and Milton says that the 5% fee is only for established customers, and if Bond wants more laundered money returned, he needs to bring more money to Milton and allow him to keep 15%. Bond has no choice but to submit, and Milton feels he has bested Bond and can control him. Bond uses this trip as an excuse to begin sleuthing around the island for the connection Milton has with the Russian nerve gas. Bond accidentally leaves a piece of evidence that might reveal his treachery to Milton, but can’t retrieve it without being discovered.

While spending the night there, the next day Bond discovers a short-range tracking bug with a microphone in his shoes. He removes the device and confronts Milton that morning, believing his cover is blown but wants to face his death with dignity. Before accidentally blowing his cover, Milton expresses confusion at the tracking bug, as he had not placed it there either. Milton recognizes the device is short-range only (several miles), and sends a helicopter to scout around his island. They discover Felix and take him prisoner, though not before Felix destroys all evidence on board that would implicate Bond. Bond and Felix pretend not to know each other, and Bond attempts to save Felix by telling Milton he’ll be more valuable alive, but Milton kills him in cold blood and Bond must keep his composure to save his cover. Felix is shot several times in the abdomen, and dies slowly over minutes. Bond takes Felix’s confiscated pistol (the Walther PPK. As in the novels, Bond’s initial gun is .25 caliber Berretta pocket pistol, and his switch to Walther occurs after several novels) and after a brief moment of tension between Milton and Bond over the gun, Bond shoots Felix between the eyes, killing him. “If you’re going to kill a man, kill him. There’s no point in making him suffer like that”, Bond says. “Suffering is the point, James,” Milton Answers. Milton allows Bond to keep the weapon. Bond helps Milton dispose of Felix’s body by feeding it to sharks. Bond then stages Felix’s yacht to look like an accidental drowning by scattering half-empty bottles of liquor on the deck and snapping the rope on the hammock hanging over the gunwale, but secretly leaves a distress signal on the boat along with microfilm of Milton’s island.

Bond returns to the UK embassy that night. In his room, he picks up the phone to report what has happened to M, but after a moment of hesitation says that there is nothing to report.

The next day, Bond returns to the Island. Bond’s suspicions are right: Milton has been wiretapping the Embassy and listening in on his call to M. After helping with killing Felix, Milton finally trusts Bond, and after lying about Felix believes that Bond can be made into a double agent for him. Milton tells Bond that a man of his skills would prove useful to him and his benefactors and reveals his plans to James: he plans to use the Russian nerve gas for a false flag attack on a third-world country to spark a long proxy war between the United States and the Soviet Union, in order to bleed both of them of resources, money, and lives; the USSR drained mostly of materiel, while the US will be first to print money destroying the value of their gold reserves to cover the inflating currency needed to pay for the war.  He reveals too that the Vietnam War, among others, is another such operation, implying that his peers are planning on staging the Gulf of Tonkin incident next year to accelerate the conflict. Milton is going to open up a number of shorts against companies in the soon-to-be war-torn country and launder that money to his superiors. James Bond pretends to agree, as a weakened USA and USSR will greatly improve the UK’s international standing.

That night, a pair of men break into the island but are chased off by security. Evidence of Bond’s prior espionage is discovered, but it is thankfully assumed to be the work of the unknown assailants. Milton believes this is the CIA, and has no choice but to accelerate his plans.

The next day, Bond is confronted by a pair of men, one American and one Russian. They discovered the distress signal on Felix’s yacht and the microfilm, and infiltrated the island to confirm Bond’s evidence. Knowing the seriousness of the situation, they are forced to break their cover to Bond. They reveal themselves as Napolean Solo and Illya Kyryakin from the United Nations Command for Law Enforcement aka U.N.C.L.E. They explain that this is the secret agent branch of InterPol created as a good faith operation between the US and USSR to prevent misunderstandings and agent provocateurs from escalating the cold war, following the Cuban Missile Crisis. They reveal to Bond that their main target is the organization SPECTRE, formerly known as THRUSH (the Spectre-like villain organization of Man from UNCLE) which they have been attempting to take down for some time. Milton is an agent of SPECTRE that they had been suspecting for a while but could not get close to until Bond made contact with him. The extremely astute viewer might notice that Napolean and Illya, in one way or another, have been in the background of most of Bond’s scenes in the Seychelles, contributing to Bond’s increasing paranoia that he is being tailed. Napoleon planted the tracker on Bond’s shoes, and they were the two men who tried to sneak onto the island the prior night.

Bond finds the location of the nerve gas where Milton’s men are mustering for the attack, and signals the information to Napolean and Ilya. They call in the cavalry and storm the island. Ironically, Milton’s plan to further divide East and West has resulted in US Marines and Spetznaz teaming up for the assault. Bond helps lead the men thru the locales of the island. Upon confrontation with Milton, Bond tells him that he is actually an antiwar “pacifist” but has no problems killing rabid animals.

As Milton attempts to flee, he is betrayed by his favorite sex slave, Rarity, and Bond catches up to him. Milton begs for his life after being shot in the knee with Felix’s Walther, saying he has information about SPECTRE and is more valuable to MI6 alive than dead. Bond says he’s right, but then kills him anyway in an ensuing fight by holding his head and drowning him in a barrel of liquid nerve agent.

After securing the island, Bond returns to Milton’s villa and liberates bottles of wine from the cellar.

Upon returning to MI6 with a hero’s welcome, he finds from M that because of the currently running shorts under Milton’s accounts, SPECTRE is being drained at a rate of 2 pound sterling for every 1 pound sterling they invest in the shorted companies, and Agents in the banking sector are frustrating SPECTRE’s attempts to close them. Napoleon and Illya approach Bond with a job offer, but he tells them that his heart lies with England. Bond takes a solitary drink in his office in memory of Felix. M enters and tells him there’s a new assignment -- the disruption of Milton’s money laundering has uncovered a narco-terrorism plot that M wants Bond to investigate. He flirts with Moneypenny as he leaves and leaves her a bottle of 61 Chateau Latour, but when she is not looking, he stares at her longingly before stepping away. The door shuts behind him loudly and abruptly. Smash-cut to credits.

In the post-credits scene, Largo, a member of SPECTRE commits an act of terrorism while claiming to be “Bond, James Bond.” James Bond will return in Nightingale.