Touhouventure 11.Z

[00:04]	Zeke	[Over the course of the day, Zeke browsed the back issues of the Kakashi Spirit News, while asking questions about Gensokyo’s two not-so-renowned reporters. Sanae managed to find an old crumpled up issue of the Bunbunmaru Times in the wastebasket, and five minutes was all it took for Zeke to understand that Hatate was definitely the lesser of two evils.]
[00:04]	Zeke	[Wanting no time wasted, Zeke made up his mind and committed to being interviewed by the checker-skirt girl. It is barely evening and almost night, as Zeke waits in the sitting room, having asked Sanae to relay his message to the tengu.]
[00:08]	Hatty-a-tatty	around the room.
[00:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	...From behind Zeke.
[00:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	...You waitin' for someone?
[00:09]	Zeke	cranes his neck backwards and see "someone".
[00:09]	Zeke	"...Yes."
[00:11]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hope they show up soon, then. That'll hold up the interview, though.
[00:11]	Hatty-a-tatty	Know when they're comin'?
[00:11]	Hatty-a-tatty	pulls out her yellow-and-white-checkered 'camera,' and checks the time.
[00:11]	Zeke	"I was told they couldn't wait to get here. We'll just have to see."
[00:12]	Zeke	is being playful, but his attitude towards the tengu is still less than affable.
[00:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	'S pretty thoughtless, scheduling two meetings like that, man.
[00:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	sighs.
[00:14]	Zeke	"Well, you can have a seat while we wait, I guess."
[00:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	Whatever. Guess I'll g-- eh? Oh, cool.
[00:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	smiles, and nods her head slightly.
[00:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	has a seat, and leans back a little, flipping one twintail back.
[00:16]	Zeke	finds that pretty cute, actually, but he can't allow himself to be distracted. That's exactly what she wants!
[00:17]	Zeke	"Now, before you start talking my ears off, miss..."
[00:18]	Zeke	leans forwards, folding his hands in front of him pensively.
[00:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	Nn?
[00:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	looks up
[00:19]	Hatty-a-tatty	Postponing the other party that quick, huh?
[00:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	You flatterer, you.
[00:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	winks.
[00:20]	Zeke	"I know, right? And don't distract me. Business."
[00:20]	Zeke	sighs.
[00:21]	Zeke	"I gave up trying to make you agree to the condition that I get to proofread the article before you publish it. S'not like you'd wait for me, and I can't afford to wait for you anymore either."
[00:21]	Zeke	"So lemme just say this."
[00:22]	Zeke	"I ain't much now. And maybe I never will be. Maybe I'll be dead inside the year, whatever..."
[00:22]	Zeke	points at Hatate.
[00:22]	Zeke	"But I will REMEMBER what you write about me."
[00:23]	Zeke	"And I swear to God if you bend the truth I won't forget that you did."
[00:24]	Zeke	"Are, we, clear?"
[00:25]	Zeke	emphasizes those particular words, inflecting them so that there's no mistake that one bad turn will deserve another should she "bend".
[00:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	frowns.
[00:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	...I'm not Shameimaru, dude.
[00:26]	Zeke	matches the frown.
[00:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	I know you're new and all, but gimme some credit.
[00:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[00:27]	Zeke	"Prove you deserve the credit, then."
[00:27]	Hatty-a-tatty	's mouth twists a little, and she nods after a second.
[00:27]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Though I guess that's hard for you. Kinda comes with being new, wouldn't it?
[00:28]	Hatty-a-tatty	mumbles to herself.
[00:28]	Zeke	"And maybe if you write a good article, I won't forget that either~"
[00:28]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hmm?
[00:28]	Hatty-a-tatty	Right.
[00:28]	Zeke	sits back in the chair and relaxes.
[00:31]	Hatty-a-tatty	does so as well!
[00:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	pulls out her camera, flips it open, and starts tap-tap-tapping the keys. Although to Zeke, it would look like she had just pulled out a garishly-decorated phone and begun texting.
[00:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Right, so...
[00:33]	Hatty-a-tatty	What's your name?
[00:35]	Zeke	has only just now started to ask himself how much he should withhold from her.
[00:36]	Zeke	"Pike. Ezekiel Xavier Pike."
[00:39]	Zeke	"Age 22, since you're going to ask that anyways."
[00:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Yep.
[00:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oh, man.
[00:40]	Hatty-a-tatty	Did I ever give you mine?
[00:40]	Hatty-a-tatty	looks up, suddenly very perturbed.
[00:41]	Zeke	shrugs
[00:41]	Zeke	"Probably. When I was shouting at you."
[00:42]	Zeke	"Hatate, right?"
[00:42]	Zeke	"Hime...Himekamekiodou, or, something."
[00:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	Ah!
[00:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	Close~
[00:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	Himekaidou.
[00:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	bows slightly. It's not much of one, as she's already seated, but the effort is what counts.
[00:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	Sorry 'bout that.
[00:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	So!
[00:47]	Hatty-a-tatty	leans forward onto the table, propping an elbow onto it, while the other hand tap-tap-taps at the keys, coming to a pause occasionally a short bit after she asks a question.
[00:47]	Hatty-a-tatty	Where'd you come from... Zeek?
[00:49]	Zeke	"America. South Dakota. Small city, you wouldn't have heard of it anyways."
[00:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	Ha, shows what you know.
[00:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	smirks slightly.
[00:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	I've heard of America!
[00:52]	Zeke	nods.
[00:52]	Zeke	"Good for you."
[00:53]	Hatty-a-tatty	...once. Wait, no, twice. Once when Aya was showing (off) an Outsider book to her, and once in a listing for "North American Service Centers" in the back of the manual for the printer she uses.
[00:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	tap-tap-taps.
[00:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	You ever hear of Gensokyo before coming here?
[00:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	--wait, no.
[01:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	slaps her forehead.
[01:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Occupation!
[01:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Whaddya do?
[01:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Or did you do?
[01:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	I'm betting you weren't a miner. Or a lumberjack.
[01:01]	Hatty-a-tatty	[Which is an odd thing to say, but whatever.]
[01:02]	Zeke	pauses for a while, thinking. Telling her he's a college dropout won't be worth anything without the context, and fat chance of that getting into her article.
[01:02]	Zeke	"I wasn't much of anything, before. Still young, still looking..."
[01:03]	Zeke	"Looking for the right place, I suppose."
[01:04]	Zeke	"Being in Gensokyo DOES narrow it down a bit, but... Nope. Still looking."
[01:07]	Hatty-a-tatty	Mm...
[01:07]	Hatty-a-tatty	nods.
[01:08]	Zeke	"I don't suppose you know a good place to look?"
[01:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	looks up from her 'camera', which doesn't cause her typing rate to slow down at all, as far as you can see.
[01:12]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yeah, you oughta check in town. There's always labor n' farm work. Course, if you've got any trade skills, there's people who'd hire you for that, maybe. If you're a brainy type and you don't mind kids, give that teacher a try.
[01:12]	Hatty-a-tatty	What else...
[01:12]	Hatty-a-tatty	leans back again, and fiddles with the end of a twintail as she ponders.
[01:13]	Zeke	nods politely, all of what she's telling him being things he already knows and is not interested in.
[01:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	That cop-lady's probably looking for more people to join her Watch. If you can put up with her, she might pay well-- kooky, but a noble.
[01:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	-- happy-kooky, though, y'know? Not the creepy kind.
[01:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	clarifies.
[01:16]	Hatty-a-tatty	--Ah, you a Buddhist at all?
[01:16]	Hatty-a-tatty	says, snapping her fingers.
[01:16]	Zeke	frowns and shakes his head.
[01:17]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Taoist?
[01:17]	Zeke	"Mmm, nope. Shinto, neither."
[01:17]	Hatty-a-tatty	tries for the long shot.
[01:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	Welp, no religious training then.
[01:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	Immortality?
[01:18]	Zeke	:|
[01:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	...what?
[01:18]	Zeke	"South, Dakota. America."
[01:19]	Hatty-a-tatty	waits for this to be meaningful.
[01:19]	Zeke	"...No. No immortality."
[01:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	Really? I thought humans were always looking for that sort of thing.
[01:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	Well, hermit tutelage is out, if that's no interest of yours.
[01:21]	Zeke	"Eh? Wait, I thought you were asking if I WAS immortal."
[01:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	Nah.
[01:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	Talk to the loopy blue lady, whatshername.
[01:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	Kaku.
[01:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	makes a couple of large, looping motions up by her head.
[01:23]	Zeke	waits for this to be meaningful.
[01:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	Funny hair.
[01:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	Really likes blue.
[01:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	That's who to talk to if you dig that. Seems sorta shady, though.
[01:25]	Zeke	"Immortality usually is. Usually sucks, too, but that's just usually."
[01:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	Eh?
[01:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, man.
[01:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	There's pretty much no catch.
[01:25]	Zeke	sighs and puts his hand to his temple.
[01:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	I watched her get cut up. She put herself back together; good as new in a few hours.
[01:26]	Zeke	"I'm not gonna start this discussion... I'm really not going to."
[01:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	raises an eyebrow, but shrugs.
[01:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	Whatever.
[01:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oh! Prismrivers are looking for help, if you like music.
[01:27]	Zeke	"Yeah, music's nice. Can't do any, though. Problem?"
[01:28]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Probably not? They're looking for help.
[01:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	A promoter, I think.
[01:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	If you don't mind the, uh. ...House.
[01:30]	Zeke	shrugs. He does that a lot.
[01:30]	Zeke	"Wouldn't know until I saw it."
[01:34]	Zeke	keeps his employment opinions to himself for now. The last thing he needs is to get hassled at whatever new job he may or may not apply for because of some article.
[01:36]	Zeke	"Is this going to be in the article?"
[01:37]	Hatty-a-tatty	blinks, then turns a fantastic shade of red.
[01:37]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oops.
[01:38]	Hatty-a-tatty	does not stutter, shout, or babble apologies. No matter how embarrassed she is and THANK FUCK AYA WASN'T HERE TO SEE THAT.
[01:38]	Hatty-a-tatty	...So.
[01:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	You're unemployed, but looking.
[01:39]	Zeke	"We've established that, yes."
[01:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	Any talents? Education? Skills? Mysterious past?
[01:40]	Zeke	counts off the questions on his fingers, looking at them for no real reason as he ticks them down.
[01:42]	Zeke	"Common sense, fiction-fantasy films-slash-books-slash-games-slash-shows, plot motif analysis, aaaaaand... No?"
[01:43]	Zeke	"But what's the point of asking the last question anyways? I mean, any answer you give is pointless."
[01:44]	Zeke	"Is the statement 'This statement is false' true or false?"
[01:45]	Zeke	throws his hands up into the air, emphasizing the paradox of asking a stranger about his mysterious past.
[01:45]	Zeke	"And when did you stop beating your wife?"
[01:57]	Hatty-a-tatty	...So, could you go over that again?
[01:58]	Hatty-a-tatty	Only in words?
[01:58]	Hatty-a-tatty	All I got was that you were some kind of writer and you make logic puzzles.
[01:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	frowns.
[01:59]	Zeke	sighs. Maybe he could find a job with someone quick enough to understand what he's saying...
[01:59]	Zeke	"No, I do not have a mysterious past. Nothing abnormal from where I'm from, at least."
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Ah.
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	shrugs.
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	I gotta try, you know?
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Plus, better I say you don't than Aya saying...
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	trails off.
[02:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Anything.
[02:00]	Zeke	raises an eyebrow.
[02:00]	Zeke	"There's better ways to try, you know?"
[02:01]	Hatty-a-tatty	So, uh. What were the tal-- oh, for...
[02:01]	Hatty-a-tatty	winces.
[02:01]	Hatty-a-tatty	You're single, right?
[02:02]	Zeke	". . ."
[02:02]	Zeke	just deadpans at her.
[02:02]	Hatty-a-tatty	taptaptaps up, then waits.
[02:03]	Zeke	shakes his head in disapproval.
[02:03]	Zeke	"You're not putting that in the paper."
[02:04]	Hatty-a-tatty	looks at him strangely.
[02:04]	Hatty-a-tatty	It's a perfectly legitimate question, dude.
[02:04]	Hatty-a-tatty	If it's really puttin' a bug up ya, though, I can skip it.
[02:05]	Zeke	"You are NOT putting that in the paper. Dude."
[02:05]	Hatty-a-tatty	shrugs.
[02:05]	Zeke	is NOT going to deal with that sort of cliched garbage. Yet. Let's not even get started with all the girls he keeps conveniently meeting...
[02:06]	Hatty-a-tatty	Might wanna loosen up a bit. You're gonna get asked that more than once.
[02:06]	Zeke	rolls his eyes. She doesn't understand...
[02:07]	Zeke	"And if you put my marital status in the paper I'm gonna get asked more than once-hundred."
[02:07]	Hatty-a-tatty	So, how'd you enter Gensokyo?
[02:07]	Hatty-a-tatty	We don't get a lot of you guys coming through.
[02:09]	Zeke	runs his hands through his hair absentmindedly.
[02:09]	Zeke	"I dunno, see, that's the thing. I just sort of... kept, walking, and there I was."
[02:10]	Zeke	"Everyone I've talked to doesn't seem to understand what happened either."
[02:10]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[02:10]	Hatty-a-tatty	looks crestfallen.
[02:10]	Hatty-a-tatty	...That's it?
[02:10]	Zeke	looks unimpressed.
[02:11]	Zeke	"Hey, you live here. Wouldn't you know better than me?"
[02:12]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, I mean... you were just walking somewhere and all of a sudden, you're here?
[02:12]	Hatty-a-tatty	sighs long and hard before tapping away at the buttons once more.
[02:13]	Zeke	shrugs.
[02:13]	Zeke	"There's not much more to say. I didn't really even feel anything."
[02:14]	Zeke	"I was hiking through a forest, just for fun, you know? And after a while, it's like, oh hey, these trees look really weird.
[02:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Man, being dedicated to true journalism kinda /sucks/ sometimes.
[02:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	mumbles, to herself. She's paying attention, though.
[02:15]	Zeke	rubs his chin, thinking.
[02:15]	Zeke	"Well, but hang on..."
[02:15]	Hatty-a-tatty	Mm?
[02:16]	Zeke	"You're a real journalist, right? I mean, I read your paper; it's not bad."
[02:16]	Zeke	"So do some real journalism. INVESTIGATE. I mean, SOMEONE should know what's going on, yeah?"
[02:17]	Zeke	"People'll talking about The Border, right? So interview people who know about The Border."
[02:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	's what I'm doi--pffft.
[02:18]	Zeke	"Or interview other Outsiders. Compare and contrast."
[02:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	snickers, mid-reply, and looks at him.
[02:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oh man, and here I thought you were getting-- that's a good one, man.
[02:19]	Zeke	looks back at her.
[02:19]	Zeke	"...Okay, what am I missing?"
[02:19]	Hatty-a-tatty	There are, like, two people who deal with the Border, and that's it.
[02:19]	Hatty-a-tatty	Three, actually.
[02:19]	Hatty-a-tatty	ticks off her fingers.
[02:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hakurei, who's lazy on a good day and pissed-off on a bad one.
[02:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yakumo's shikigami, the kitsune. Reasonable sort, but she just handles the lesser stuff.
[02:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	And finally, Yakumo herself, who's ...
[02:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	pauses, and then looks a little uncomfortable.
[02:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	Well.
[02:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	She's... she sure is Yakumo.
[02:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	nods.
[02:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	You might find out for yourself, if, uh.
[02:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	things.
[02:23]	Zeke	"Just three...? Does nobody wants the job, or there's not enough work to need more than that?"
[02:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, man.
[02:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	It's not open to anyone else.
[02:24]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yakumo set it up, and the Hakurei keep it up.
[02:24]	Hatty-a-tatty	Think of it like... like a bank.
[02:25]	Zeke	"Banks have tellers. Find a better analogy."
[02:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, no. Everyone benefits from having the bank around. It's what keeps our money safe, right?
[02:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	But the vault, that's sort of the whole center of the bank.
[02:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	And they don't let just anyone in.
[02:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[02:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, you're right.
[02:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	That sucked.
[02:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	sighs.
[02:27]	Zeke	"You could have called it a family business. That's probably closer."
[02:27]	Zeke	"Or is that not what we're going for?"
[02:28]	Zeke	"Is it trust? Is that what you're saying? Only those that can be trusted with the money can handle the money?"
[02:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yeah, sort of, but... well, it's just not open to anyone else because it's Yakumo's thing, yeah. But being able to deal with it directly is way beyond the average Jane youkai, let alone human.
[02:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	Nah, man.
[02:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	It's ability.
[02:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	Okay, and trust.
[02:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	Both of those, I guess.
[02:30]	Hatty-a-tatty	twirls one twintail up in a short-lived drill before letting it unravel.
[02:30]	Zeke	"So... The two things I don't have and can't be given..."
[02:30]	Zeke	nods.
[02:30]	Zeke	"Right then."
[02:30]	Hatty-a-tatty	...I don't think I've actually thought about this like that, before.
[02:31]	Hatty-a-tatty	The Border's just kind of a thing that's there. And it's why we're here at all.
[02:31]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hmm.
[02:31]	Zeke	"You learn something new every day."
[02:31]	Zeke	leans back in his chair, smiling.
[02:31]	Zeke	"Glad to be of help."
[02:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	nods slowly, before coming back to her senses.
[02:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	So, uh.
[02:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	Any plans, besides finding employment?
[02:32]	Zeke	does the :T face, thinking.
[02:33]	Zeke	"Besides that, baaah bup bup baaahh... Well, I came up with this idea. I guess I've been saying it a lot lately."
[02:34]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hmm?
[02:34]	Zeke	"Before one can live, one must survive."
[02:35]	Zeke	"Food, water, shelter, clothes... I moved to a new country with nothing but the clothes on my back."
[02:35]	Zeke	thinks, then adds:
[02:35]	Zeke	"Well, okay, that, and a walking stick, and a mahjong set, and a bunch of crap I traded for a Colt Python and a blank spellcard."
[02:36]	Zeke	"But, you get what I'm saying. I'm starting from Step 0."
[02:36]	Zeke	"So, I guess I haven't thought much beyond that yet. I mean, sure, yeah, I've got dreams, we ALL have dreams. When you find something new and exciting, your mind just goes wild, yeah?"
[02:37]	Zeke	"But it's the idiots who burn themselves out too fast on it and ruin all the best parts before they even knew what happened."
[02:38]	Zeke	shakes his head definitively.
[02:38]	Zeke	"I'm not them. I start with the basics. Food, water, shelter. For that, need money. Need money, get a job."
[02:39]	Zeke	"But, gaaah... If it's for the paper..."
[02:39]	Zeke	thinks. If he had to narrow down his dreams and hopes to the most important of them...?
[02:40]	Zeke	"...Dragons."
[02:41]	Hatty-a-tatty	is type-type-typing even as she stares at him with an increasingly incredulous look.
[02:42]	Hatty-a-tatty	o O (...Well, it'll be good quote material... maybe.)
[02:42]	Hatty-a-tatty	Dragons are probably a no-go.
[02:43]	Zeke	is unshaken in his resolution.
[02:43]	Zeke	"You're not the first person who's said that."
[02:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	Last one we saw helped set up Gensokyo. He was good people.
[02:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	smiles.
[02:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Althoooough...
[02:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	I actually might know of one.
[02:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	well.
[02:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	I've /heard/ of one.
[02:45]	Zeke	raises an eyebrow. Does he DESERVE for it to really be that easy?
[02:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	But it wouldn't be easy, even if it's more than just a rumor.
[02:46]	Hatty-a-tatty	See if you can get in touch with the hermit Ibara.
[02:47]	Zeke	"I'm not expecting it to be easy, ma'am. I'm expecting it to dominate years of my life in endless and futile pursuit of a phantasmal dream. If I don't end up dead first."
[02:47]	Zeke	"And I would frankly be disappointed if it was otherwise."
[02:47]	Hatty-a-tatty	Well, I hear a tale, sorta second or third hand, that she's got a little one.
[02:47]	Zeke	palms his face.
[02:47]	Hatty-a-tatty	...but if you like, you can go train with her in the mountains.
[02:47]	Zeke	"No, no, see, you're not supposed to TELL me that."
[02:48]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hmm?
[02:48]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oh.
[02:48]	Zeke	has suddenly gone into "that" mode.
[02:48]	Hatty-a-tatty	Sorry.
[02:48]	Zeke	"You don't make it EASY for them. You made them WORK for it. You make them understand the labor of their convictions."
[02:48]	Zeke	"And then after they FINALLY work their way to it, THEN you tell them there was a shortcut."
[02:49]	Zeke	"You both laugh at the irony of it all and walk off screen."
[02:49]	Zeke	"Because he LEARNED something about himself on the journey."
[02:49]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[02:49]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hey, dude?
[02:49]	Zeke	"And he found out how to truly APPRECIATE that which he was seeking."
[02:49]	Hatty-a-tatty	I'm gonna ask a question, here.
[02:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	'S gonna maybe seem a little rude.
[02:50]	Zeke	is knocked out of plot-analysis mode.
[02:50]	Zeke	"Ehh?"
[02:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	/What the fuck are you on about?/
[02:50]	Hatty-a-tatty	asks, befuddled as shit
[02:51]	Zeke	"Cliches."
[02:51]	Zeke	responds, like it's the most natural answer.
[02:51]	Hatty-a-tatty	...oh?
[02:51]	Zeke	"What, you don't have those here?"
[02:51]	Hatty-a-tatty	doesn't think that was even remotely an answer.
[02:51]	Hatty-a-tatty	...No, we do...
[02:52]	Hatty-a-tatty	thinks good and long and hard before saying her next words.
[02:52]	Hatty-a-tatty	......Would it help if I told you she's not liable to show it off to just anyone, and you've got to meet her strict and exacting demands if you ever want a hope of possibly getting the chance to /maybe/ see one?
[02:53]	Hatty-a-tatty	And there's probably rigorous training and discipline involved? She's a hermit, after all.
[02:53]	Zeke	sighs. Kids these days. What kind of fiction are they raised on?
[02:54]	Hatty-a-tatty	TENGU SHONEN MANGA, BABY.
[02:55]	Zeke	"No, no, it's ruined already. Just, forget it."
[02:56]	Zeke	"The moment's gone."
[02:57]	Hatty-a-tatty	shrugs.
[02:57]	Hatty-a-tatty	'Kay.
[02:57]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[02:57]	Zeke	slumps down in his chair. Despite his fake facade of disappointment at "this horrible plot", he actually IS very relieved that Gensokyo has dragons, and that they are in some way accessible.
[02:58]	Zeke	"So, no, not really, besides the dragons. I mean, that's the big one for me. Let's find a job first, THEN we'll talk about vacation."
[02:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	really needs to do more interviews, in the future. This was trickier than she expected.
[02:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	Right, right.
[02:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	...So, anything you'd like to say? Maybe a statement to Gensokyo?
[02:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	Or I guess I c-- oh!
[02:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	How long have you been here?
[03:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	Er, already.
[03:00]	Zeke	tenses up at the prospect of some kind of final quote, relaxing when she cuts it off with another question.
[03:01]	Zeke	"Oh? Gah, umm, hang on... One, two, three... Then, about... I think this is Day Nine, for me?"
[03:01]	Zeke	"Or, Eight-and-a-half, I guess. Day One started at, like, 2 P.M."
[03:05]	Hatty-a-tatty	Ohh?
[03:05]	Hatty-a-tatty	Where have you been so far?
[03:07]	Zeke	"Well, since you'd probably find out anyways..."
[03:08]	Zeke	"Eientei Manor, the village, aaaaand... Here, I guess."
[03:08]	Hatty-a-tatty	Hm~
[03:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	Seen anything interesting so far?
[03:10]	Zeke	actually thinks about that question seriously for like ten seconds before looking back up at her skeptically.
[03:11]	Zeke	"...Is that supposed to be a real question?"
[03:13]	Zeke	"No, seriously. Are you actually asking me that with a straight face?"
[03:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yes?
[03:14]	Hatty-a-tatty	I mean, beyond the being in a magical land of dreams and whatnot.
[03:15]	Zeke	looks crestfallen at her adding that second bit.
[03:15]	Zeke	"Dammit... You just ruined a perfect joke, you know that?"
[03:16]	Hatty-a-tatty	pauses.
[03:16]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Sorry?
[03:16]	Zeke	sighs and shakes his head again.
[03:18]	Hatty-a-tatty	You get used to the usual sights after your first century or two.
[03:18]	Zeke	"Tough crowd... I've got no material with you people, I swear..."
[03:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	I'm sure you'll find someone.
[03:20]	Hatty-a-tatty	refrains from winking. He would probably get weird about that.
[03:21]	Zeke	"Let's hope so."
[03:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	So, back to earlier, any statements to make?
[03:21]	Hatty-a-tatty	Challenges to issue? You don't seem like the sort for that, but who knows.
[03:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	Meaningful observations?
[03:22]	Hatty-a-tatty	Any of these are good.
[03:23]	Zeke	tenses up again. Great, back to this...
[03:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	Oh, relax.
[03:23]	Hatty-a-tatty	sees his shoulders hitching.
[03:24]	Hatty-a-tatty	I'm trying to lighten the mood, man. Not everything you say's gotta be deep and meaningful.
[03:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	I ain't asking you to whip up a koan on the spot.
[03:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[03:25]	Hatty-a-tatty	adds, a beat later:
[03:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Although if you /can/ do that, that'd be something.
[03:26]	Zeke	is kind of fretting about this and getting uncomfortable.
[03:26]	Zeke	"But I'm going to be HELD to this, you know? That statement will DEFINE me, to anyone who doesn't end up meeting me, and if they do that's the preconception they'll start with. Not to mention ME, and what I think of myself, and whether or not that was the right thing to say to the new world, or however much of the new world reads your paper."
[03:26]	Hatty-a-tatty	raises an eyebrow.
[03:26]	Zeke	"You can't just, blurt it out!"
[03:28]	Zeke	"Even if I say no comment! No comment is a comment! And everyone will wonder, 'Now hmm, what is he trying to say without saying anything? Or, what is he trying to hide, mmm?'"
[03:28]	Hatty-a-tatty	...I was thinking more like, "I'm enjoying my stay here, and am looking forward to building a life here,"
[03:28]	Zeke	throws up his hands in defeat and flumps deep down into the chair.
[03:28]	Zeke	"That statement is lame and you should feel lame."
[03:29]	Hatty-a-tatty	I'm not the one freaking out over a brief little introduction, dude.
[03:30]	Zeke	"You're not the one with the spotlight being held over him. Dude."
[03:30]	Hatty-a-tatty	...
[03:30]	Zeke	"See, this is why I didn't want to take the interview in the first place. These things, right here."
[03:30]	Zeke	points downwards to "these things" like it's a physical object between them.
[03:30]	Hatty-a-tatty	Zeke...?
[03:30]	Hatty-a-tatty	fumbles with the name for a moment before saying it.
[03:31]	Hatty-a-tatty	...You should relax more often.
[03:32]	Zeke	rolls his eyes.
[03:32]	Hatty-a-tatty	If this is really that big a concern, I can leave it out.
[03:32]	Zeke	"I'll relax when I have a job and a place to stay."
[03:32]	Zeke	"Yeah, do that."
[03:34]	Hatty-a-tatty	But like the married/single thing, this is... it's pretty standard stuff. Maybe people get jumpy about stuff like this Outside, but you aren't there anymore, y'know?
[03:35]	Zeke	massages his temple, leaning forwards a little and looking down at his feet.
[03:35]	Hatty-a-tatty	And the people here-- the humans, especially --they're gonna get weird about you getting weird around them, if you do it too much.
[03:36]	Hatty-a-tatty	That's just how they are.
[03:36]	Zeke	"Gah, you still don't get it... It's because YOU'RE the one being weird."
[03:36]	Zeke	"YOU'RE the one treating ME like I'm different."
[03:37]	Hatty-a-tatty	chuckles.
[03:37]	Zeke	"What am I? I'm some doof looking for a job who likes stories."
[03:37]	Zeke	"But suddenly, put me in HERE, and I'm special."
[03:37]	Zeke	"I didn't change. The perspective did."
[03:38]	Hatty-a-tatty	Seems a little self-centered to say that, don't you think?
[03:38]	Zeke	thrusts his finger at Hat's chest as she finished the sentence, jumping up.
[03:39]	Zeke	"THAT'S it! That, right there! That's the point!"
[03:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	jerks back, startled.
[03:39]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Huh?
[03:39]	Zeke	"I'm not TRYING to be self-centered! But when you give me special treatment, I don't have any other option!"
[03:40]	Zeke	"I'm the center of attention whether I want it or not, and I don't WANT it if I haven't EARNED it!"
[03:40]	Zeke	"What does anyone care if I'm single?! But they'll care if an OUTSIDER is single."
[03:40]	Zeke	"I'm not Ezekiel Pike to them. I'm 'The Outsider'."
[03:41]	Hatty-a-tatty	...That's fairly standard for interviews, man.
[03:42]	Hatty-a-tatty	's brow wrinkles, and she tries not to smile in front of him, it'd seem patronizing.
[03:42]	Zeke	sits back down, calming a little bit, but not much.
[03:42]	Hatty-a-tatty	...You think I was trying to pry, or something?
[03:42]	Zeke	:|
[03:42]	Hatty-a-tatty	I leave that to Shameimaru.
[03:43]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Well, pry more than any reporter normally does.
[03:43]	Hatty-a-tatty	admits.
[03:43]	Zeke	"You're still here, interviewing The Outsider, under threat of 'I'll rain Shamehameharu down upon you' if I say no."
[03:43]	Hatty-a-tatty	Eheh...
[03:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	scratches the back of her head. Can't help it.
[03:44]	Hatty-a-tatty	I was mostly just saying that so Kanako'd take me seriously.
[03:45]	Hatty-a-tatty	Despite those words, I've got my pride. I wouldn't feed you to Aya like that.
[03:46]	Zeke	"I just call it like I see it, ma'am. And I've seen enough to know what I'm seeing even if it doesn't look like I should be seeing it with all the sights around."
[03:46]	Hatty-a-tatty	People deserve better than that, aft--!
[03:46]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Hey, that was pretty good.
[03:46]	Hatty-a-tatty	perks up.
[03:46]	Hatty-a-tatty	How about that?
[03:46]	Zeke	looks pensive for a moment, stunned.
[03:47]	Zeke	"...Huh. Well, how do you do about that..."
[03:47]	Zeke	"Sure. Sure, yeah, use that."
[03:48]	Hatty-a-tatty	grins.
[03:48]	Zeke	nods, satisfied.
[03:48]	Hatty-a-tatty	Done and done.
[03:52]	Zeke	"Be fair to the story, now. Tell the facts."
[03:52]	Hatty-a-tatty	shoots him a mini-glare.
[03:52]	Zeke	"And try and snoop out the real deal on that border-crossing, eh? You seem to know enough about who's in charge."
[03:53]	Zeke	"If everyone's confused, they'll be looking to someone for the straight answers, right?"
[03:53]	Hatty-a-tatty	's glare turns neutral after a moment.
[03:54]	Hatty-a-tatty	Well, telling the facts is what I do already.
[03:54]	Hatty-a-tatty	Coming across you was a blessing from the gods.
[03:54]	Hatty-a-tatty	And anybody who's lived in Gensokyo for a while knows who's in charge.
[03:55]	Hatty-a-tatty	flashes him a sly grin.
[03:56]	Zeke	"Well... There's who's in charge, and there's who 'in charge'."
[03:56]	Zeke	slygrins back. He knows the score~
[03:56]	Hatty-a-tatty	But I'm not going to complain about finally scooping that lying sack, for once.
[03:56]	Hatty-a-tatty	--eh?
[03:56]	Hatty-a-tatty	No, I was being serious.
[03:56]	Hatty-a-tatty	Yakumo and the Hakurei are it.
[03:57]	Hatty-a-tatty	I mean, everyone else has their local authorities, sure.
[03:58]	Zeke	"Wha? Oh. You were, oh, well, okay. That was stupid. Sorry."
[03:58]	Zeke	has no fork to scrape all this EGG off his face.
[03:59]	Hatty-a-tatty	The tengu have the mountain, the satori have the fusion plant, the humans have the village, Saigyouji's got the netherworld, and the yama have Higan.
[04:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	...Oh, and if you find yourself in a field of sunflowers, don't damage a single leaf.
[04:00]	Zeke	will show that he has gained SOME KNOWLEDGE.
[04:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	meets his eyes as she says this, unaware of egg/face metaphorical mishaps
[04:00]	Zeke	"Shinki's got Makai, by the way. You forgot that one."
[04:00]	Hatty-a-tatty	raises an eyebrow.
[04:01]	Hatty-a-tatty	Good, you've been paying attention to someone.
[04:01]	Zeke	keeps level and psuedo-smug.
[04:01]	Zeke	"I try."
[04:04]	Hatty-a-tatty	types a final few things up, hits some other buttons, and snaps her 'camera' closed.
[04:04]	Hatty-a-tatty	That should do it. I'll print out a copy and let you hav-- oh!
[04:05]	Hatty-a-tatty	Pictures, pictures!
[04:05]	Hatty-a-tatty	she flustered mang
[04:05]	Zeke	:T
[04:06]	Hatty-a-tatty	Okay, this shouldn't take too long. Let's go find somewhere else more scenic, though...
[04:06]	Zeke	"You mean you haven't been taking them all this time already?!"
[04:06]	Hatty-a-tatty	Eh?
[04:06]	Hatty-a-tatty	No.
[04:06]	Hatty-a-tatty	I've been taking notes, man.
[04:07]	Zeke	"Fair enough. It's pretty dark outside, so, where do you want to...? I mean, unless the flash on that thing is good?"
[04:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	'Course.
[04:09]	Hatty-a-tatty	It's kappa-made, after all.
[04:10]	Zeke	"I won't take your word for it, but I won't argue. Lead the way, then."
[04:10]	Zeke	[And then Owen wrote a better outro later when he was editing this on Pastebin]