Barn Mates rewrite (WIP) 1

(The episode opens with Peridot talking into her voice recorder.)

Peridot:And then I'll say, "Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?" And then she'll say, "Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!" Peridot, Facet 5.

(Peridot ends her log.)

Peridot:(turning towards Lapis casually) Let's begin.
Lapis:	This isn't gonna work.
Peridot:Wait, what?
Lapis:	I really thought I would be living alone here.
Steven:	Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right (Steven takes out a marker from his left pocket and open the cap). We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space (Steven divides the Barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker). High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country; so what do you think, roomies? (Stands up and puts the cap of the marker on.)

(Peridot and Lapis Lazuli stand on their sides respecting their space.)

Peridot:(approvingly) I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
Lapis:	No. No way!
Peridot:What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, (Peridot puts her right finger on her chin thoughtfully) actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
Lapis:	(dismissively) I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
Peridot:Bah...
Steven:	What's wrong, Lapis?
Lapis:	It's her.
Peridot:Egh?! (Peridot backs away from Lapis, confused.)
Lapis:	(angrily) She's the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth!
Peridot:(defending herself) Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
Lapis:	(furiously) You used me like everyone else did!
Peridot:But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - (gesturing to herself) I'm different.
Steven:	(joining Peridot's side) It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
Peridot	I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth! I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now. (concluding her rant of achievements) I'm kind of a big deal; (gesturing dramatically to bring emphasis) a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!

(Lapis walks to Steven, Peridot moving behind her uncertainly.)

Lapis:	(She looks down at him before turning back to Peridot and sighing) Steven, I don't think this is gonna work. But... I trust you. I'll (Cringes for a second before forcing a smile) give it a try.

(Both Steven and Peridot gasp hopefully.)

(Lapis flies walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo.)
Steven:	(Steven looks to Peridot) Looks like you got a room mate! Or should I say: Barn mate?
Peridot:This'll be great! I can teach her about life on Earth! She'll HAVE to see just how great I am.
Steven: Well, have fun! I gotta get back home. I've sorta been out flying all night. (Starts to walk out of the barn)
Peridot:Bye Steven! (Shouting from within the barn) By the time you come back, I assure you we'll be well acquainted!

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

(The two stand on their opposite sides of the barn)

Peridot:(Clears her throat) Well, Lapis Lazuli, or can I call you Lappy?
Lapis: No.
Peridot:Oookaaaay... Well! I'm going to make sure our time shared in this barn is pleasant for the two of us!
Lapis: (Crossing her arms) Like it was on that ship?
Peridot:Oh... That was AGES ago, Lazuli! Approximately 250... (droops and looks aside) earth days... (snaps her gaze back towards Lapis) B-but that was back then! How about we let all that be (nudges Lapis with her elbow) WATER under the bridge? (Nudges again) Eh?
Lapis: (Camera zooms in as her expression grows enraged before snapping back as she closes her eyes and opens them into a blank expression) Yeah, sure. Whatever.

(The two stand awkwardly in silence)

Peridot:EXCELLENT! Well, if you need me, I'll be in my side of the barn! Please don't hesitate to ask for anything that I may provide for a more enjoyable stay.
Lapis: (Stares blankly) You could always leave.
Peridot:(Laughs hysterically) Oh Lapis! You're such a card! (Walks off screen to her side) We'll get along great!
Lapis: (Sighs before walking off herself) Yeah. (Dryly) Haha...

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

(Lapis is seen staring at the leaf that Steven gifted her with Peridot pacing in the background. She visibly jolts into a cringe as Peridot starts talking)

Peridot:The first night went great! I think this barn mate thing will work out just fine. We haven't even disagreed on the paint cans yet!

(Lapis rolls her eyes with a sigh before returning her gaze back to the leaf. Peridot then sneaks up on Lapis and pats her hand on her shoulder, causing Lapis to jolt)

Peridot:So! Roomie... what are you gonna do today?
Lapis: (Inhales sharply and turns her head upwards, trying to calm down. ) I don't know.
Peridot:No plans at all?
Lapis: Nope.
Peridot:Well, maybe I can show you my-
Lapis: No.
Peridot:But I didn't even s-
Lapis: No.
[beat]
Lapis: No.

(Peridot stands up and rubs her chin thoughtfully)

Peridot:Ah! I see, you want to spend your time getting used to the new dwelling. I feel that, sistuh.
Lapis: (Visibly grips hand into a fist before relaxing it) Sure. Whatever.
Peridot:I'll leave you to it, then! I'll be inside watching Cam-
Lapis: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Peridot:(Smile falters a little) O-okay. Well, if you need any-
Lapis: Don't hesitate to ask, (Snapping) yeah, I get it!

(Lapis stands up before turning towards Peridot)

Lapis: Look, I'm sorry, but we're not friends. We're not GOING to be friends.
Peridot:But why no-
Lapis: I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Steven. The less you get on my nerves, the better we can coexist. That's all you can hope for. (Turns back and flies off to the silo)

(Peridot is left standing by herself before wearing a stern expression)

Peridot:(To herself) Oh. We're going to be friends alright... I won't let Steven down just because you're stubborn.