anarchist lightbulb change

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One group to insist that a future change of lightbulb is inevitable. This group is never heard from again but presumably they are in libraries and university basements all over the world studying marxist analysis to come up with when this will happen.

One group to decide that there will not be a true change of lightbulb until it is global, this group will immediately start a zine that no one reads about how there are plenty of lightbulbs for all lamps in the world and how everyone in need of lightbulbs need to rise up and change them together.

One group to interject that you have to be the change of lightbulb before you can have a change of lightbulb because true change comes from within. This group will remind everyone else that if they do not find a truly ethical means of acquiring and replacing a lightbulb, then they are as bad as the capitalists.

One group to argue that because there are so many lightbulbs being produced, it doesn't matter that they are all owned by capitalists because eventually they will trickle down to everyone.

Everyone to denounce this group as non-anarchist.

One group who set up meeting times to form unions that cooperatively force the lightbulb industry to make and install a new lightbulb.

One group to argue that when we can all transcend into a virtual reality, there will never be any need for lightbulbs again.

One group to argue that artificial light is unnatural and part of the evil civilisation that is ruining this Earth. They reject the domestic need for artificial light and rewild by running naked with the deer and eating plenty of carrots.

One group of market anarchists to come up with a plan to trade something for a new lightbulb but without giving the surplus value created by workers to capitalists.

And one post leftist to head to the store and shoplift a bag of lightbulbs, installing one and, out of pity, giving the rest to people in the other groups. Except the ancaps because fuck those guys.