significantly less pain

In the dim light of the bedroom, she woke with a start from the nightmare in which she had been stuck. On waking, she was greeted with nothing more than the pattering of rain on the window and the sound of gentle breathing next to her. She struggled against a mass of vines to turn over to face her beloved, as he had once again entangled her in his sleep.

“Jackdaw...?”

“Nnnn....”

“Jackdaw, it happened again...”

“Oh... I suppose that would explain why you were so restless all night... Do you remember anything particular about this one...?”

“I remember seeing cages, yeah... I was a mouse, for some reason, so I couldn't see much. And... I remember seeing my teacher. I think she was keeping people in them. There was so much screaming and crying... I went home after that, I became a people again, and... and Anya put me on suicide watch. Yeah... but I still managed to get a hold of a razor and some rope... I cut myself... it still stings, even... and then I wrote a note, and I... I got up on the chair, and... Jackdaw, I think I killed myself...”

There was a chill silence, before she felt the vines tighten around her and was brought close to him, pressed to his chest.

“Honey, I-”

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what...?”

“Promise me that you'll never, ever try something like that... not here.”

It took her a moment to figure out why he might be acting like this. It occurred to her then that of anybody, he would understand the emotional turmoil that came with those dreams, as he had them himself. Maybe, she thought, it had made him consider just how easily he could lose her, in any world. That might have been jumping to conclusions, but it was a thought nonetheless.

“...I promise.”

“Thank you...” The tight coils of his vines loosened just a little. “Are you feeling alright...?”

“A little shaken, I guess... I still have this vague feeling that I should cancel my lessons thanks to this... I- I mean I felt myself die because of--”

“Shhh. Now, none of that, poppet. It was just a dream...”

“I know, Jackdaw... I know...”

There was silence in the room after that, as she rested her head against his chest, listening to the sound of his heart. Everything was alright, she urged herself. She was alive, she was right here with someone she cherished, and nobody was getting locked away. The room smelled like rain through the open window and flowers and it was very soothing. But even still, her mind wandered.

And eventually, she broke the silence. “Jackdaw?”

“Mmmm...?”

“What exactly... would you do, if I somehow ever...”

The vines squeezed her even tighter toward him. “Now poppet, don't talk like that-”

“No, like, honest question. I'm not planning on it. I could never leave you behind, or Anya or... anyone. I- I like being alive here. Everything is nice in this world. I guess I'm just thinking because, the dreams...”

“Well... I... would probably be devastated. You are, after all, very dear to me...”

“Mmm... Jackdaw? Let me promise you right now... I'm never gonna do it. Not... not here, anyway. Not in this life. I want to stay with you forever.”

“...Thank you.”

“I guess I've been thinking about that a lot, in general... Forever's a long time, y'know, but... I think you're the one. It feels... right. I love you so much... and if these dreams did anything, for either of us... I'm glad it brought us together...”

“I agree, love.”

“And... I... guess I've been kinda thinking. About you, and about forever...”

“Go on...”

“When we went into this... we'd already known each other for months, in a way... In a lot of ways, really... we were already dating, technically... and I guess that's why I've been wondering. Maybe some people think we rushed a bit, but... I don't think so. In some places, it really would be forever... and... and so I kinda... want to ask you...”

“Ask me what...?”

She took a deep, almost shuddery breath. “I don't have anything to give you... no fancy symbols, not even a chewed pen cap to show for it... but... I want to ask anyway... Would... you like to spend forever with me?” She swallowed hard. This was a big decision, but it felt right. “Would... you... maybe... want to... marry me....?”

It was a long pause that followed. A pregnant pause, tense even. It felt like an eternity that she sat there waiting for him to answer her. And she wondered if she was too forward. Was it too soon? Should she have given him something?

She felt her heart nearly beat out of her chest when she heard him speak again.

“...Yes. Absolutely.”