inc 20.

I don't know what to do. I really don't. I want to talk to her, but she doesn't want to talk. Maybe she will just listen. I do not want to go on the 20th, I don't want to go at all. I.. might have to though.. I can't deal with things much longer. I have to ask her to listen on that day. Catherine if you are digging through my pastebin please listen to me on the 20th. I want to tell you about my life and my decision, and possibly say goodbye.

edit: Calm down, she will talk, it will be okay. BPD is chilling out, what Sarah taught me is working. I want to talk to her on the 20th though. It may be goodbye, and it might be a bye-bye goodbye. It just depends on something..