[SUPER SECRET STORY DAY 1] - A Properly Paced Story.

A well written story full of twists and turns, good enough to rival the works of Stephen King while staying as an engaging story for all the family to enjoy.
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>Day Extreme Confusion in Equestria
>Sat outside in front of your house, sun bathing
>Faggot.
>Let out a contented sigh
This is the life...
>Birds answer you, and the sun continues to beam down
>Feels like Holidays in South France, man.
I wish everyday was like this.
>You reach for your drink
>Sip it through a straw, and look around the area
Hm. No one out today. Odd.
>Just then Rainbow Dash crashes into you
>"ANON! WE GOTTA GO NOW!"
HUH? WHAT? SHE WAS 18 I SWEAR TO GOD.
>"NOW ISN'T THE TIME, ANON! THEY'RE COMING!"
WHO!?
>"THEM"
>She points to a massive army of Fluttershys stampeding towards you
>"RUN ANON, RUN!"
JESUS CHRIST!
>You hightail your ass outta there
>The thunder of hooves is getting louder
>"DON'T WORRY, ANON! THE ROYAL CANTERLOT GUARD IS HERE TO SAVE US!"
GOOD? I GUESS?
>A legion of pegasi and unicorns clad in golden armour slams into the oncoming Fluttershy horde, magic spells and blood flying everywhere
>You watch in horror as a group of Fluttershys corner a guard and rape him to death
THIS IS HORRIBLE!
>...
RAINBOW?
>Turn to Rainbow Dash
>She smiles at you and pulls the zipper down from her forehead
>Fluttershy steps out

1/?

>Just before she jumps on you she explodes
>Twilight Sparkle runs up to you, panting
>"COME ON, ANON! WE HAVE TO GET TO THE SHIP!"
WHAT SHIP?!
>She runs away, you follow her, still half naked from your sunbathing
>Though you are wearing shades, so you must look hella cool while running
>Explosions and Fluttershys surround you as you run through Ponyville, now a warzone
>A large flying saucer is hovering over the Library
>And by large you mean the size of the entire fucking town
>For reasons unknown, you didn't notice it.
>It's actually blocking out the sun
>You are so confused right now
>Twilight stops underneath it and shouts up
>"WE HAVE HIM! LET'S GO!"
>You are then teleported on the ship
>Cold steel and computers surround you
>Before you get a chance to open your mouth, you're being hurried along a corridor by several ponies wearing futuristic battle armour and carrying plasma rifles
>Twilight and the guards drag you onto the bridge
>You see the warzone that is Ponyville from up here
>Luna is sat in the Captain's chair, wearing a bright purple party hat with green polka dots
>She turns to you and blows a party streamer
>"HUZZAH! NOW WE CAN LEAVE THE PLANET!"
What.
>The ship begins to rise as Luna barks order to several ponies and blows her party streamer several more times
>She raises an eyebrow at you
>You shrug
>You watch as the clouds and skies fly past the window as you ascend into space
>You pass by Cloudsdale on the way there, which is also being attacked by an army of Fluttershys
>You nod, as if to convey that you know what's going on, when really you don't.
>Like when hipsters pretend they understood the ending to Inception.

2/?

>You find yourself looking out at the inky blackness of space
>It's beautiful.
>You smile to yourself.
>You had always wanted to visit space.
>Before you can comment on it to Twilight a loud siren blares
>Luna spits out her party streamer, tears off her party hat and replaces it with a Pirate Hat and an old looking pipe
>"GADZOOKS! WE HAVE MULTIPLE TALLYWHACKERS INBOUND!"
>You strain your eyes and look out the window
>Yeah
>Fluttershys
>Flying through space
>You watch a squadren of them fly past the window as the space ship unleashes it's full payload into the oncoming swarm
>Laser fire and photon missiles fly past the window and collide with Fluttershys, disintegrating them on contact
>A pony in a clown costume waddles through the door, his shoes making funny honking noises with each hooffall
>"KAP'N! IT'S TOO MUCH! SHE'S GOIN' DOWN!"
>Luna removes her sunglasses slowly
>You didn't even notice her put them on
>"Mother of me."
>The ship begins rapidly falling towards the Planet
>Cloudsdale is now all but gone. Fluttershys are dry humping the ruins and any survivors
>Twilight clings to you
>"ANON! I ALWAYS LOVED YOU!"
THIS STILL MAKES NO SENSE!
>You both scream as Ponyville rushes up to meet the ship

3/?

>The ship crashes into the ground and a giant explosion rocks the entire ship as the behemoth of metal crumples from the impact, hundreds of explosions tearing it apart
>All of Ponyville is obliterated in an instant
>You emerge from under Luna's body, which acted as a pillow and heat-proof blanket during the crash
>You solemnly close her eyes
Rip in peace, Cap'n.
>You climb out of the wreckage and drop to the floor
>It's cracked and dry from the impact, whatever grass that's left is on fire
>The sky is dark with smoke
>You Walk a few steps forward and look around
>Looks like the result of a nuclear war in Ponyville
>Whatever building are left are empty shells of what they once were
>You wander around for a while until you see signs of life, movement up ahead
Hello? Can you please explain to me what's going on? I think I might be tripping balls.
>The figures look up from the body they were apparently dry-humping
>Oh god.
>Fluttermutants.
>The three Fluttermutants, that look like they all took a year's worth of steroids and were educated with Adam Sandler movies, groan in some broken form of English then canter towards you
Fuck that.
>"MUST. HUMP"
FUCK THAT.
>You run from them, as far as your frail human legs will carry you
>A Fluttermutant head-butts its way through a crumbling wall and carries on lumbering it's way over to you
SHITSHITSHIT
>Before it grabs you, it's head explodes.
Oh ok.

4/?

>The other two Fluttermutants stop and look at the body of their pal fall to the floor
>They scratch their heads before they explode as well.
>A shadowy figure walks out of the shadows, wearing a Stetson
>"Howdy, partner. You new around here?"
Applejack. It's me. And why the fuck do you have a gun?
>"It's dangerous around these parts. Mutants everywhere."
>She spits on the ground
>"Come on. Let's get you someplace safe"
>You follow her through the ruins of Ponyville, occasionally fighting Fluttermutants
>Applejack has some weird metal shit on her arm
>Whatever it does, it beeps and makes her pull of bullshit wallhack shots.
>So you're not complaining.
>Applejack tells you tales of her adventures in the wastes, and her exploits that have earned her a name around here
>She tells you all this while you're sat around a camp fire.
>Next to the fucking spaceship you crash-landed in
>You can still see your footprints in the dirt
>Check your watch
>It's been 15 minutes
Ho boy.
>"Wuzzat? Tell you more? Sure thing, partner. Glad to have a listener. It's nice."
>She shuffles along the ground and rests her head on your shoulder
>"We've been through so much, Anon. I'm glad you're here with me..."
>She blushes up at you and nuzzles your arm
I feel like this whole thing has absolutely no pacing
>Applejack then keels over
>"ACK! THE RADIATION CANCER!"
>She then dies
>You stare at her body for a while, then stand up
See, this is EXACTLY what I mean!
>Sigh
Well. Not like this can get any worse, right?

5/?

>Look to your right
>Rarity is stood there.
>In steampunk gear
Let me guess. In light of the recent calamity, Ponykind has reformed under some kind of techno-magic society where crude yet stylish technology is used everywhere?
>She smiles
>"Of course, darling! Now come come, there's much to discuss!"
>You follow her over to a dangerously unsafe looking, yet strangely appealing looking contraption that seems like it was made of pipes, cogs, and leather.
>Whatever.
>You hop on board and the creation chugs to life, Rarity powering it as though she's riding a bicycle.
>The 'copter rides through the skies
>Looks like you're heading towards the ruins of Cloudsdale
>Hundreds of helicopters similar to the one you're riding are docking and leaving
>All of Cloudsdale has been transformed into a giant hunk of floating metal, help up by thousands of different sized propellers.
Cool.
>You dock and hop off, the metal meeting your feet with a comfortable thud
>Rarity trots off, beckoning you to follow
>You follow her through the busy streets, avoiding passing ponies carting around huge boxes of scrap metal and other supplies
>God damn this place is aesthetically pleasing.
>You follow Rarity to a large building, also made out of metal.
>Everything around here is a lovely bronze colour
>It's great
>You follow her to an office of sorts, and she sits down at her desk once you've closed the door behind you.
Sooo. This is life now, eh?
>"Of course, Anonymous! I only ask one thing."
That is?
>"Don't push that button"
>She motions to the wall
>A giant red button the size of said wall greets you
Oh. Why? What does it do?
>"It advances the plot."
>You blink
>Look at the button again
>Pinkie Pie is now stood next to it
>She's looking straight at you, a dead serious look on her face
>You and Rarity both watch as she slowly reaches out a hoof and pushes it, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time
>Rarity puts on a diving helmet
>"Well, darling. It was fun."
>Cloudsdale explodes.

6/?

>You find yourself plummeting to earth as burning and twisted metal rushes past you
>A unicorn with aviation goggles and mechanical wings falls alongside you
>He grins
>"FINE DAY FOR FLYING, OLD SPORT!"
>He pulls a cord and a motor starts flapping his wings
>He veers off and flies straight into a giant piece of burning scrap
>Look away and wait for the ground to hit you
>You aren't even phased anymore
>This is fucking stupid
>The ground looks rather welcoming in light of your day, but to your dismay, before you can hit it, you get caught.
>Blink a few times
>Yeah
>Skeletal Rainbow Dash
>She speaks to you in a raspy, wheezy voice
>"Hello, Anon. How are you?"
Miffed.
>"I can see why. Look at this mess!"
>You look at the countryside. Devastated by the space ship crash landing, and now covered in burning hunks of metal from Cloudsdale
>"I mean, all this life! It's horrible!"
What.
>"Of course! Good thing the others have the same idea as me"
>She points over to a large crowd
>Skeletal Fluttershys, by the looks of it
>The dismantle each other and quickly assemble a colossus.
>The monstrosity begins slowly stomping towards Canterlot, roaring the whole time
>It's the size of a dragon. But made out of bones. And is also Fluttershy.
>They even had some bones form a mane
>Now that's attention to detail.
>The Rapezilla digs it's hooves into Canterlot Mountain and begins dragging itself up the slope
Hey uhh, Rainbow?
>"Yes?"
Could you fly me to Canterlot Castle?
>"Why would you want to do that?"
Uhh... To advance the plot.
>"Great idea!"
>Fucking Storylines.

7/?

>You ride the undead Rainbow Dash over the ruins of the Alien Spaceship and the remains of the Steampunk Cloudsdale, watching the Gargantuan Skeletal Fluttershy lay seige to outer walls of Canterlot Castle.
>Woe betide anyone who reads this clusterfuck and makes sense of it
>Rainbow lands in a courtyard while guards run around screaming
>You see the gaunt visage of the Fluttershy Titan peer over the walls and let loose a roar that shakes the ground
>Turn around and stroll into the Castle, the guards more concerned about the undead monstrosity besieging them
>Walk into the throne room
>Celestia looks up from reading the paper
>"Ah! Anonymous! What can I do for you?"
Plot device.
>She stands to her feet and nods
>"OF COURSE! ANON! YOU MUST BECOME THE BEARER OF EVERY ELEMENT OF HARMONY! IT IS YOUR DESTINY!"
'Aight. Coo.
>A few moments later you stroll out of the castle, with the various elements duct taped to your body
>You look at the Destroyer of Innocence, who is stomping around in lower Canterlot
>Celestia takes up your side
Soo uhh, how does this work?
>"YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE!"
>She shouts in your fucking ear
Umm.
>Think
Rubba dub dub. Three men in a tub.
>Flutterzilla explodes. Bones flying all over the city and impaling the unfortunate citizens below
Cool.
>Celestia cheers
>"ANON! YOU SAVED CANTERLOT!"
>She grabs your face and presses her lips against yours
>Then things get hot and heavy and you end up screwing her on the steps outside the castle.
>It was a "heat of the moment" kind of thing.

8/?

>40 minutes later you're sat outside your ruined house in a deck chair, soaking up the radiation from the crashed ship
>Pretty interesting day so far.
>You watched an army of Fluttershys fight the Royal Guard in a horrific display of violence and sexual depravity
>You went into space on an alien vessel where the crew wore clown costumes, which then got shot down by space-faring Fluttershys
>You explored the wastelands with a farmer for all of 15 minutes before she fell in love then died of cancer
>You went to a steampunk city, that had been assembled in literally 20 minutes.
>You watched as that city then blew up because of a deadly serious plot device
>You rode an undead pony past a terrifying construct created from the bones of the dead Fluttershy army
>You became the bearer of every element of Harmony
>You destroyed the monster
>Saved the world
>Fucked the Princess
>And got home in time for lunch
If I didn't know any better, this whole day played out like a poorly written fanfiction.
>You shrug and pick up your drink
Not my problem
>Sip the drink
>Fucking Fluttershy.

9/9
The End