Dinner In Canterlot

>you are anon
>and you are having dinner with the main 6, celestia, luna, and some various other high ranking ponies.
>you second day in canterlot and already everyone is here
>your ass landed in ponyville, a week later train ride to pony capital and everyone had to see the talking monkey
>but there is one thing that pissed you off
>the douchebag named blueblood.
>thank fucking god you had your cellphone
>and holle fucking lujah twilight made a magic syphoning battery accessory easily
>never lose a charge... ever
>dinner conversation mostly focused around you
>what do you eat
>what are you
>will you fling poo
>but blueblood...
>he asked everything embarrassing he could
>personally you know everyone has their kinks, and you were going to let him have his
>why are you so ugly
>is every one of your kind so stupid
>your using the wrong fork you genetic defect
>everyone just put up with his shit...
>you had enough
>celestia asked the next question "what do you find fun to do"
>to which blue blood responded "probably pissing into its own mouth, you saw the monkeys at the zoo"
>SNAP
"you know, my favorite thing to do is fuck someones day up when they piss me off"
>you get out the mini projector, yea you bought that stupid thing
>twilight took an interest in it, and upgraded the output of it to that of a fairly high end one... not resolution, but brightness, also added a black level... so you dont even need a dark room.
>all the royals outside of celestia luna and lovebutt have done nothing but pissed you off...
>celestia is frowning at you a bit "why would you take pleasure in that?"
"don't worry, i don't use violence. it never solves my problem quite right"
>you hook up the small projector
>you also hook up some speakers, another thing twilight added
in a hushed tone you tell the 8 ponies who didnt annoy you "you may want to look away"
>they dont understand, any you go through your folders
>till you reach 'Z Blackmail Material'
>"what is that for" a slightly angry celestia asks
"in my world, we all have cameras, we all can film at any time, and some people do thing that no one else wants them to know about"
>her look turned to one of interest
"i don't actively look for ways to get people under my thumb, but if i happen to catch them doing something, and lets say i want something, or they piss me off, i can show what they dont want known"
>and you scroll over to to a file named blueblood
>"WHAT!"
>before he can get another word off, you play video
'who the hell are you and what are you doing'
>cameras still pointed at the ground, but you bring it up
>on your bed, is a blueblood
>a bright magic circle
>a horse shaped penis coming out the middle
>not horse size...
>hell...
>size wise the average human puts it to shame
>and finding its way into his mouth
>he just looks at you
>'mmmmh'
>and he goes to town
>for all of 15 seconds
>just when it looks like his load is about to blow, he takes it out of his mouth grabs your pillow and covers the tip
>'AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH...... YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH'
>your pillow is now caked in horse semen
>and you still don't have an answer
'again, who the fuck are you'
>not paying attention, he takes a ring off his crotch,
>apparently it was a portal he stuck his dick through to suck...
>he then gets up, and you see a very sizeable dildo come out
>he magics it all away...
>not the pillow
>'listen commoner, you can tell anyone you want, but who will believe you'
>he starts to laugh, all while you are still pointing the camera at him
>'a commoner, from "another world", accuseing me, blueblood, of something like this..heheheh... who would believe it'
'im a him, and i have a name, its an...'
>the fucker cuts you off
>'i dont care what you call yourself, and to me you will always be an it, we will never be even remotely equal'
>you hit pause
"so, anyone want to watch a specific part... honestly my favroite is when he prematurely ejaculated... what was that 10, 15 seconds?"
>you count in total
>4 of the royals have left to vomit
>the ponies you give a shit about are shocked
>aside from rarity
>who is laughing...
"see celestia, someone makes me feel bad, someone continues to piss me off, i fuck their day up at the very least, in a fairly non violent way"
>rarity coming down off her giggle fit
>"anonymous, whatever did you do with the pillow?"
>curiosity got the better of everyone there
"i turned the pillowcase inside out and switched it with yours"
>from smiling and having the best dinner ever, to horror like you gutted her cat and are wearing the skin on your crotch in less than a seconds...
>"YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!!"
>wow... royal canterlot voice
"hehe i'm kidding, just wanted to see how you would react"
>well at least she can take a joke
>"well sugarcube what did you do with it?"
"um... you may want to watch this video for that answer"
>you back out of the blackmail folder
>and you go to the folder labled 'If I Am Found Dead'
>"now what the hay do you need that for"
"not everyone takes well to me fucking their days up... also, it can't hurt to have contingency plans in place incase i end up dead, think of it as a living will"
>you scroll through them to 'untitled 5'
>some crashing in the background
>no one can see shit
>'anonymous, come out come out wherever you are'
>it sent a chill up your spine just listening to it
you whisper into the mic "if anyone hears this, i am dead, and twilight mostlikely killed me around... 2:30am"
>all eyes on twilight, not a single one of them can believe what they are hearing
'i don't know why, or what started it, but she got a scalpel and said 'i want to see what's inside' and before she could do anything, she took a book to her face and i ran, but everything's locked and i may get stuck going through a window.'
>again, all eyes on twilight, not a fucking person believes it
>CRASH
>eyes back to the projection
>you now know it was a cup her tail brushed, but back than...
>you thought she was raging hard
>and you decided to see if you could get a better view from the camera on the phone...
>everyone now sees her on screen
>'where the hell is he hiding'
>in her grip is the scalpel
>you pull the phone away
'fuck... so this is how i die... fine'
>and the video cuts off
>before anyone else can say a word
>"its SO not what it looks like"
>eyes back to twilight
>"how could it not be?" dash fires back
"its not"
>eyes to you
"no obvious straps in my clothing, she thought they were one time use"
>looking at her
>she smiles
>you frown
"still scared the fuck out of me for 2 hours"
>she looks down
>you go back to the previous video
>eyes back to the screen
'god damnit he may be tiny but he shot a hell of a load'
>you have sense set the camera down to survey the damage
'ok, lets get this straight, white fucker sucks his own dick with magic and blows it on my pillow... fucking magic'
>you are glad you kept the "i need one myself" though internal at this point
>you get out of your room a second
'hay, were is twilights room?' you can hear in the background
'thanks' couldn't hear the response apparently.
>going back to the bed
'well... fuck my life... have to bite the bullet on this one huh'
>you hate thinking about it, but whatever, not much of the spooge got on your hands
>you invert the pillow cover
>you then wipe what you did touch on the clean opposite side.
>pick up the pillow and than pick up the camera
>you walk to twilights room
>knock
>'who is it'
'anon can i come in a sec'
>'sure, doors open'
>well...
>face in book,
>not paying attention to you yet,
>you quick swap pillows
'thanks'
>'yea any time pinikie'
>wow was she kind of out of it than...
>video ends
>twilight is now heaving
>rainbow and pinkie are laughing
>celestia is holding back a smile and failing
>appleass is comforting her
>"you kind of deserved it twi"
>fluttershys wings have rigormortis at this point
"all in all, a very enjoyable dinner celestia... but i have to ask, anything for desert" you say as twilight runs out of the room
>you hear splashing a few moments later... poor thing never made it to the bathroom