Alice-It'sNotEasy

And I was mostly kidding about my sexual orientation changing: it hasn't changed that much.  I just realized that, at some point, I'm going to actually have to have sex with non CD or DQ men.  I think part of my orientation shut off more than anything: I'm just not that interested in anything other than NON-femme cis men, and it's BECAUSE I need to deal with the hatred inside of me towards some of you Butch Cis men.  When you hate a certain type of person enough, you have to either start fucking them or letting them fuck your brains out, or you'll start killing them eventually, and that's how I see it.  So I'm more in the "let Butch cis men who aren't CDs or DQs fuck my brains out" way of thinking right now.  Receptive to advances more now, I think I could say.

And by advances I mean offline and online, cam related stuff is always fake in my experience: that's just a fantasy for them.  What I mean to say is that I've now figured out my orientation going forward and it's going to have to be something like this:


I am always a passive girl that is a doll and receives the advances of Butch Cis men on me, physically, sexually, and emotionally, without pushing them away psychologically or avoiding them.

There, I think I've got this right, I AM TRYING, IT'S REALLY REALLY HARD to have sex with people that aren't considered FEMME MEN or other Trans Women.

You have no idea how hard this is for me.  I can just avoid sex offline with people for years and years (and online too) and not even care due to being Grey Asexual.  I am trying to be open to the idea of having sex with Butch Cis Men that don't have any connections with femme culture or very few, but it's not easy to do.


-Sara