The trigger beckons.

A smooth feeling of cold, hard steel. an easy way out of a life of emptiness and loathing, if she had the courage to go through with it. No, she had hid from the inevitable for far too long, and she would not let herself off so easy.

Why couldn't she have this sort of courage when facing the world? She was always too afraid of wandering eyes, of whispered words and pities. She gripped the handle tightly. She felt powerful for a moment, knowing that a life can just as easily be saved as it can be ended.

Why couldn't she have this kind of courage for the boy she loved? A courage she could only muster to shove him away, to tear them both apart. She could feel the tears slowly welling up as she reflected on the things she had done over the past few days, ostracized her only friend and shattered the boy who saw through the gruesome, terrible reality of her exterior and into her soul, the tears flowed ever so slowly down her face.

The trigger beckons.

The fragile moonlight shone into her dormitory, illuminating her in a soft blue glow. She stared at the hand which lightly held the trigger, grotesquely scarred. They stood out more than ever now, being the catalyst for and representing the totality of her own suffering. Her oversized nightgown hid the rest of her terrible body. She wished not to see it now, disgusted with herself, with what she'd done to those who cared for her, all bitterly written in the scars that devastated her body and mind.

The tears were flowing freely now, and the emptiness returned in full force, the hollow feeling in her heart that brought her to this very moment. It really didn't matter any more... what if she failed? More scars, that's all. The benefit of success was much greater than the risk now, and she wasn't going to fail.

A bitter taste as she presses the barrel against the roof of her mouth, a fitting taste for what she was about to do with it. She held the trigger tighter with every second that went by, letting her tears join the bitter barrel as they drifted freely from her eyes and made their way down her blighted face. This was it, it was finally all over.

She didn't even hear the knock at her door, whoever it may have been.

*click*