Noiz DMMd re:connect Bad End Translation

Noiz Dramatical Murder Re:connect Bad End:

Do you want to relax already?
Do you want to give up?
Do you want to rest?
Do you want to sleep?
Is it okay to not open my eyes anymore?
Is it okay to stop trying so hard?
Is it okay to quit?

I don’t know pain.
Whether it’s paralysis or whatever, I don’t have a functioning sense of pain.
Because I don’t know bodily pain, I of course don’t know what mental pain is.
That was just a normal thing for me.
I thought it was no big deal, that that was my reality.
But it seemed like it caused trouble for people around me for some reason.
When was it I realized I couldn’t feel pain.
I don’t remember.
The discipline in my house was severe, and my child’s body knew just how to fight against it.
I don’t know if it was because of that, but…
I would fall, cut my knee, rub the blood between my fingers, and go show my mom as I laughed.
Because the red liquid flowing from my knee was so interesting.
When mom saw that she twisted her face up and made me stop, confused.
When I saw her reaction I became excessively happy.
Mom, who usually showed such a stiff expression, looked confused, possibly because of me.
I also fell down the stairs while climbing it carelessly.
But it didn’t hurt, it was just a little hard to walk, so I went home just like that.
It wasn’t till a while later that someone noticed it was broken, and because of that it took a while to cure.
When I was in a fight and broke a finger on my left hand, I left it be and it became hard to bend.
Nothing really long-lasting happened during the other fights, it’s just this finger that bothers me even now.
As expected of my parents, they finally realized how strange I was and took me to the hospital, but they couldn’t find anything strange.
They didn’t know a way to fix it, we all felt kind of spooked, but in any case there was nothing to be done.
Because I didn’t know the pain of being hurt meant that of course I didn’t understand other’s pain.
That’s why I didn’t know how much it hurt others when I fought.
When my opponent would cry, I would wonder why the hell they were crying.
An adult would always come around at that time and while protecting their child they would say decidedly.
“Apologize properly! You may just be messing around but you can’t be so strong that they cry!”
So strong they cry.
How much is that?
I didn’t understand that at all.
At some point I became a hoodlum and got into all sorts of fights.
I never lost at a fight.
Because I wasn’t scared to hit people, or to be hit by them.
Normally when you go to hit someone you’ll feel hesitation or fear of being hurt in response, right?
It would hurt to be hit and you could imagine how the other would feel to be hit.
But, that was useless for me, who didn’t understand pain.
It didn’t hurt if I was hit so I didn’t know the other’s pain.
At first I thought fighting and playing were the same thing.
Seeing the kid crying after I hit him I wondered why he would cry over such a little thing.
But as the fights piled up, I noticed my opponents seriously starting to hate me.
Everyone isn’t playing. They hate me.
I was shocked when I realized that.
I was confused, wondering why in the world they would start to hate me.
How should I become friends with everyone? There were times when I thought that, too.
Thinking it may be fine if I didn’t fight, I stopped for a while.
But, the fights wouldn’t stop coming to me and in that time my guilt started to lessen.
If they feel like they should hit me, then I should do the same.
They hate me, but why do I have to be the one worrying about it?
I started to think that and I became feared by the people around me.
It wasn’t just strangers, it was my parents too.
They were the types who cherished their pride and appearance, and I think they seriously started to think that I, who kept causing trouble, was annoying.
It was only my little brother who cared for me but my parents decided that he couldn’t be allowed near me.
My brother was different from me, because he was a child who could feel pain.
I don’t remember what number fight it was when I broke the kid’s teeth, but my parents dragged me away a room.
That wasn’t my room, it had a toilet, a bath, and even a simple kitchen and fridge in it.
My house is large so I guess I didn’t notice that my parents redid this one empty room.
That room literally became my “castle”.
I wasn’t allowed even one step out of that room, and my childhood basically passed in that room.
When I was locked up in that room I would cry out and yell as I pounded on the door.
But no matter how long I waited the door wouldn’t open.
A maid carried meals and snacks and stuff to the room and slid them in through a small window like door in the door that had a key.
I was dealt with like a prisoner.
Even though we’re family.
I cried and yelled thoroughly, and pleased to be saved.
I would be violent, wound myself, and cry again.
A lot of days passed like that but one day I squatted down and thought to myself.
No one is going to save me even if I scream and cry.
Even if I hurt myself, no one.
If so… I have to live so that I can live on my own.
No.
I “can live even if I’m alone”.
I became enveloped in that thought.
To me, that became the truth.
If I could live alone, no one else around me mattered.
If no one cared whether I lived or died, I could think like that about others.
That became the “natural” way for me to live.
Like that, other than myself the reality around me was vague.
What face, that hairstyle, what clothes.
Everyone was the same.
They were like dolls to me.
No one would understand me, so I had no reason to tell them about me.
But even so some one strange person really did understand.
That was me.
Me, who was spat out by the world.
Doesn’t change whether I’m here or not.
The fact I can live alone means it doesn’t matter whether I’m here or not.
Other than not feeling pain, I could also barely feel others touching me.
The only thing that could really feel was my tongue.
For some strange chance I could always feel a strange, new feeling when I bit or twisted my tongue.
Even when I decided to pierce my whole body to “make a hole” out of it, only my tongue hurt.
Ahh, this is pain, that’s what I thought.
That’s why I felt strangely moved and uplifted when I pierced my tongue.
But I got used to it fat.
Of course, just one part couldn’t make me understand pain well.
I just started to think that it was by chance that that one part of me could feel, unlike the others.
For me, who couldn’t feel any pain at all, there was Rhyme.
Rhyme was a game where your brain “was attacked,” and your body would feel false pain.
This was pretty groundbreaking to me and when I first played I felt just like I had the first time I got my tongue pierced.
This is what pain is, I thought.
But, no matter how much it hurt it obviously didn’t come close to the real thing.
That thought was always in the corner of my mind, sneering at me.
But it was a place where I could feel pain so I continued it.
I, who won fights in real life, held many victories in Rhyme as well.
It must have been because I didn’t feel pain.
No matter what happened I could calmly evaluate what happened and think up a counter attack.
If I lost because I knew pain, wasn’t it better that I didn’t know it?
What kind of a profit would knowing pain bring anyway?
I don’t need pain.
To me who thought that…
There was a guy who fought who knew “losing pain”.
That was Aoba.
When I was on a roll in Rhyme I decided I wanted to fight a veteran player.
I started to investigate on who the strongest one was.
As I did I found someone who had a succession of victories, just like me.
“Sly Blue”.
When I researched him he didn’t play Rhyme anymore, but I was really interested in him.
I wanted to try fighting someone as strong as him.
As I continued to research “Sly Blue” I ran into Aoba.
And I challenged him.
It wasn’t formal, an informal, raw battle.
N: …It’s my pleasure to take on this battle. (Or something)
…The result was my overwhelming defeat.
Impossible.
Up until then I hadn’t lost a fight or Rhyme. I thought it was obvious that I would win.
That’s why I.
Lost at Rhyme.
When I came to terms with that fact, my chest throbbed and the back of my neck throbbed with annoying heat.
The feeling of “losing” pierced my heart.
Thinking back on it now, I know that that was also “pain”.
The only play I knew pain was Rhyme.
Losing at Rhyme brought forth a feeling I had never tasted before.
…Do I wish for real pain?
No. There’s no way I wish for it.
…Or I shouldn’t.
I can live even without pain. I can live alone without anyone’s help.
But, really.
The first time… was when I was a kid.
I was hated by my friends and I hated that I didn’t know pain.
When I was locked up in that room it was inevitable that I felt painfully sad.
Would this have not happened if I knew pain?
Over and over, I thought that so many times I almost went mad.
If I could feel pain…
But, no matter how much I wished for it that was a feeling I would never be able to acquire.
I want to know pain.
I was assailed by that thought, and would turn my eyes away from it.
I came here living like this.
I can live even if I don’t know pain.
I lived this far knowing that but… that guy.
Aoba used scrap to try to break into my heart.
“I have one thing to tell you. This world… probably isn’t as terrible as you think it is.
He said something that I didn’t understand.
But when I heard those words something was born in my heart.
I didn’t know what it was right away.
Warmth, brightness.
“Hope”.
…I forgot those things a long time ago.
Those useless things…
…Because of that guy I.
Do you want to relax already?
Do you want to give up?
Do you want to rest?
Do you want to sleep?
Is it okay to not open my eyes anymore?
Is it okay to stop trying so hard?
Is it okay to quit?
My heart became ragged trying so hard to live while thinking I could live alone.
As that started to happen, I was assailed with one thought.
What I really wish for…
Something that I should never wish for, that will never happen, “pain”.
Since then…
He thought the parts of me that didn’t hurt, hurt, and was absurdly caring about them.
He somehow brought me back to this world.
There was no guy in my life before him who was like that.
There were a lot of people who got close to me because I was like this icon of my rich house.
When they told me themselves that that was the case I got really mad.
Surrounded by darkness, he wriggled his way into a space where only I should have been able to fit.
…Aoba.

A: …!!
I open my eyes to a terrible, shocking pain.
A: …. …It hurt…!
When I try to figure out what’s happening, I feel pain again.
I don’t know where it hurt before but… now it’s my back.
It’s completely black around me and I can’t see anything. It’s like I blacked out.
When I try to move around I can feel something warm clinging to me.
Something soft like a hand is resting on my neck, shocking me.
Could this possibly be…
I stare hard at the thing that’s clinging to me
….So it’s like that after all.
A: …Noiz!?
N: …
Noiz is embracing me from the front.
As if in answer to my call, I see his neck move as he breathes a sigh.
Neither of us are wearing anything.
This is…
Probably not reality.
It’s the same room we’ve been in since I started scrap.
Which means, basically…
Scrap failed?
Noiz shudders and moves to change his position in holding me.
A: Ow…!!
A pain like when my arm was cut runs through me and I grimace.
Even if I just move my head a little to see what’s going on, the skin on my arm tears and starts to bleed.
Why, so suddenly…
Was it there before?
No, but…
I feel strangely uneasy and I look at Noiz.
I gaze steadily at his face in the darkness… and a chill runs through me.
N: ….
N: ….kuku fufufu
N: …It hurts.
A: …
Noiz laughs while looking down, and says it with a sigh.
It hurts?
I’m sure he said it hurts just now.
But doesn’t Noiz not feel pain?
A: Noiz, right now you…
I grab Noiz’s shoulder as I say those words in order for him to meet my gaze.
N: Ow
Noiz grimaces.
I’m sure I didn’t grab his shoulder that hard but, but I apologize reflexively.
A: Sorr…. …!?
I look at Noiz once again and then open my eyes wide.
There are wounds like knife cuts all over his body.
It looks like how the wound on my arm feels.
I look down at my own body and it looks almost exactly like Noiz’s.
A: Eh, this… why…
N: Aoba…
I’m bewildered by this confusing situation and Noiz moves his face near mine.
They catch me, right across from me.
A: …
Blank, muddy eyes, like a black hole.
They’re looking towards me but not looking at me.
I can’t find any of Noiz’s sharpness anywhere, and there is a loose smile floating on his lips.
An unpleasant feeling shocks my temple.
A: …Noiz…?
N: …haha…
Noiz laughs feebly and presses his lips to mine.
A: !
An electric shock of pain hits my lips and I pull back, surprised.
I try touching that place with my tongue.
…I can taste blood.
My lip is cut? But why?
He didn’t bite it. He just brushed it a little…
N: Don’t run, Aoba…
Noiz whispers those words, begging rather than sweetly and wraps his arm around my head to pull me close.
A: ! Ow….
It hurts like the back of my head was cut.
The place where Noiz just touched me.
…It can’t be.
A: …
I breathe out a tortured breath and stretch a finger out to Noiz’s arm.
I try to hold my hand still as it shakes, wrapped up in an unpleasant feeling… and try to touch his arm.
N: Hurts…
…Of course. It’s like I thought.
Blood wells up where my fingers touched.
Like it has its own consciousness, the skin just split and blood bubbled.
Despair blooms in my chest and starts to grow.
We get cuts where we touch each other.
I don’t know why, but for some reason that’s happening.
This isn’t reality. It’s inside of Noiz’s heart.
Basically this is a world that was created for his heart’s content.
Noiz can’t feel pain.
But when I touched him he clearly said that it hurt.
That means that Noiz can feel pain here.
Because he wished for the pain that he never had?
Even if he temporarily wished for it, this…
A: Noiz, why…
Interrupting my words, Noiz pulls my head again and kisses me.
A: Nn gu… Ua…
N: Haa… ….it hurts…
I feel pain like something sharp has cut into the side of my mouth and I try to separate our mouths.
The back of my head also hurts where he’s holding me, and in a slight panic I try to push Noiz away.
N: Tsu…
Noiz groans, the places where my arms and hands touched making wounds appear.
I move my hands away hurriedly, but Noiz holds me more firmly.
A: Mu gu…! It hurts…!
The pain in my arms and my back make me open my mouth to let out a silent scream of pain.
Noiz should hurt as well so why…!
No, Noiz originally didn’t feel pain so he must be feeling the pain so much stronger than I am.
Even so…
I open my mouth wide at the terrible pain and look up at Noiz.
N: Fufu…. …it hurts.
A: …
Noiz is…
Laughing.
While grimacing from the pain.
That expression looks painful but to me….
It somehow also looks tranquil.
N: This is… pain…
A: Noiz… …!
Noiz tugs on my head and kisses me again.
While kissing me, he gently strokes my abdomen.
A: U ku… gu…!
His movements are sluggish but they’re splitting my skin.
I can hear the sound of my skin tearing. I can hear the sound of the blood oozing out.
But that’s not all the pain that’s assailing my body.
Noiz’s kisses are ripping my lips to shreds, and my mouth is filling with a warm liquid that’s not spit.
A: Go bu…
The built up liquid pour from my mouth.
I sniff, and the strong scent of iron fills my nose.
N: Haha… Haa… …I always wanted this….
He pulls his tongue, which is now like a weapon, from my mouth and whispers those words in my ear.
N: I always wanted to know this…
A: A! Noiz, stop, Noiz…!!
Noiz’s finger touches the cut that he made from my chest to my stomach.
Pressing gently into the cuts, he ends up sliding his finger between the cut skin.
A: Aaa…!
A: Ow, it hurts…! Noiz!!
N: N….
He gouges the place where my skin is split, thrusts his finger violently into it, and presses hard.
Blood and gruesome pain flow out of me from deep inside and heat spreads.
A: Hiiah…!!
N: Aoba…
Noiz licks the tears that spill from my eyes due to the pain.
Doing that, he causes more wounds to appear, and blood mixed with tears flows down my cheeks.
N: Aoba, too…
Noiz takes my hand and brings it to his chest.
By now he should know that when I touch him he will feel pain but even while knowing that…
N: Touch me…
A: !? No, Noiz, let go…!
I’m hurting this much so Noiz…!
Noiz pulls my unwilling hand and I can feel the pain of new cuts there.
That pain makes me lose strength and he presses my finger tips to his chest.
Cuts form.
Just like that…
Noiz presses down on my hand gently, like he wants it to sink into the cut.
A: Noiz…!!
N: Fufu… Aa…
While grimacing Noiz lets out a sound like he’s in ecstacy.
My hand sinking into Noiz’s wound becomes covered in blood and sinks slowly into his flesh.
I feel like I have to say something. Cold chills are running through my muscles.
A: Noiz!
I shake off his hand and pull my fingers from his wound.
N: Ha…
A: …
The feeling from my fingers being cut still remains… and they shake.
Soft, warm…
Noiz, covered in blood, leans down and presses his forehead to mine.
Again, the slight touch causes a wound that shouldn’t have happened at all.
N: Aoba is also feeling this pain…
N: I’m happy, that I can feel the same pain like this…
His says it with a blurred voice and touches my thighs.
A: !?
He opens my legs wide.
This posture…
More than the pain in my legs, I’m frightened about what Noiz is going to do from now on, dread fills me.
A: I don’t want, that…
My voice shakes and I can’t talk well.
Noiz’s hands are gentle as he touches my opening.
I gasp for breath when terrible pain hits me there.
A: Noiz, don’t, sto…!
N: What I want is… pain and…
N: …Aoba.
A: Hu ah…! U AAAAAAaaaa!!
…I literally feel like my lower body is being cut to shreds.
I can’t register what’s going on. I don’t want to do it.
…Just.
A: Ah gu… u…
What I feel is, my whole lower body overcome with such a great heat that it feels like I’m on fire.
It’s like poison mixes with the blood and runs throughout my whole body.
Red and black flash before my eyes and I can’t see anything.
Buzzing fills my ears, and a scream like a roar builds inside of me.
…I think, so a human’s body was this fragile.
N: O, w…. …haa…ah
A: Ah ah… …ka ha….
N: Fufu… it shurts… fufufufu
Jolting with the force, pain from my lower extremities reverberates in my brain.
The illusion of red blood covers my eyes.
What is this liquid bubbling in my mouth…
Noiz moves and I hear a wet sound from below.
The liquid from Noiz and I is pooling around us.
I gulp… and I don’t have any strength left in me.
N: Aoba…
A: …N oiz… …wh y….
Noiz’s tongue, clad in blood, licks my neck like a sharp knife.
He sips at the blood there lovingly.
It goes beyond the pain… and tickles.
N: Always, always… what I wanted to know, what I wished for…
N: I’m feeling that right now with my whole body…
A: …
No.
No matter how real this pain feels it’s not reality. It’s like Rhyme.
This is the world inside of Noiz. A world filled with the “pain” that Noiz wanted to know.
But, if… Noiz was special because Noiz didn’t feel pain.
If everything lost the ability to feel or feel pain, Noiz would lose his specialness.
So that may be what this world is trying to tell him.
Either way, the two of us are just laying around, unconsciousness, in the real world.
We’ll lose our chance to return like this.
… We have to return, fast.
But… I can’t tell him.
The me right now doesn’t have the confidence to tell Noiz that this isn’t reality.
I mean I…
failed at scrap…
…This world is wrong.
But, how should I rescue Noiz who’s captured by this world?
Is it okay for me to take Noiz away from this when he’s so happy to be able to feel pain?
I… don’t know.
Already…
A: …!!! Uaah…!!
Suddenly I feel a scalding pain and I choke.
My voice won’t come out. It’s hot.
I can’t breathe, and I open and close my mouth uselessly.
…Little by little I realize that it’s “pain.”
Noiz touched my soft cock.
A: Gu…. ….
He grasps it softly but the pain fills my head and swirls around in it relentlessly.
A: UA A…!! Let g… Gu AAh…!!
N: AAh… ha…
I can’t see anything other than red anymore.
Red mixed with darkness.
Due to the pain of him thrusting into me from behind, vivid pain is assailing me from inside of me.
Noiz is as gentle as though he loves me, but basically he has no strength.
Even so… it hurts. It hurts so much I can’t take it.
Even if he touches me softly, lovingly, it hurts.
If this were reality I might already be dead from the pain and the blood loss.
But I’m not dying.
Because this world isn’t reality.
A: …fu… ku….
Thinking that, I suddenly start crying.
Not cause it hurts. The hot droplet drips down my cheek.
I want to save Noiz but I can’t.
Even so, Noiz wants this to happen.
Noiz’s heart thinks that this is so much better than returning to reality.
I’m the one who dealt the decisive blow.
Because I failed at scrap.
Noiz’s broken heart is already…
Even if I want to tell him, I can’t tell him anything. It won’t reach.
A: U… … Noi z….
I raise myself, clenching my teeth and covering and dripping in pain.
I stretch my hand out to Noiz’s shaking arm.
I know if I touch him it will hurt him. I can hurt him.
Even so…
I can’t think of any other way.
A: Ku A! U….. uu….
A: …Noiz…
Crying, I slowly wrap both of my arms around Noiz.
N: Gu… kuu…
We’re both hurting with wounds. Hot gasps are falling from our lips.
Trying to crush that, I hug Noiz.
A: Noiz… Open your eyes…
A: This world, is not… real
N: …
A: Noiz, I’m begging you… let’s return, together…
A: This pain, is not real…
N: …..fu
N: Fufu hahaha
Noiz laughs.
Embracing me while I embrace him… while his face warps with pain.
N: That’s, fine… it doesn’t really… I, already
N: …I’m tired.
A: …Noiz…
N: With this, I can be with everyone….
N: Because I understand everyone’s pain… that’s why…
N: I’m… not the only strange one anymore
A: AAAAaa…!
Noiz moves, penetrating me.
I don’t know how I’m accepting him down there, and I won’t know unless I look.
The wet sound is getting louder and louder.
The movements have gotten smoother…
The light sounds get stronger.
A: …..u…..
…It’s no good after all.
I can’t get Noiz out of here any more.
Even though I know this isn’t reality, I’m starting to black out because of the horrible pain.
I don’t even have the strength to break this situation with words.
That’s why, at least.
I… hug Noiz with the last of my strength.
I hug him hard, filling the embrace with the words I can’t say.
N: Tsuuu… ! Ku ah…
A: Aa… haa… ….
I don’t know if my eyes are open or closed anymore.
Our breathing is faint, and we’re embracing each other as if it could ward off the pain.
If Noiz says that he wishes for this more than reality…
Then at least I want to hold him with all my heart.
We won’t die. Because this isn’t reality.
If so, then just a little…
I want to make sure that Noiz is satisfied with me being here.
I…
A: U… Noiz… …Noi z…
I can’t gasp or shout, I just open my mouth and the words dribble out in a tearful voice.
N: Aoba…
Covered in blood, Noiz moved inside of me.
As if to say it’s okay now, I relax.
That’s why I hold Noiz’s head to my chest.
The smell of iron mixes with the warmth of our lives…
I…
A: …..Noiz
N: …I’m, happy
N: Aoba…